Thumper’s Mother

I’ve been a member here for years. Increasingly, the discussions are peppered with cutesy comments and criticisms that reek of attention seeking behavior. 

Please offer more respect to those around here that are innocent hobbyists. They are here to have fun talking about stereos, not be taken to task. I suspect you do it because this is your only available audience. 

These are people. Some are dealing with tragedy, heartache, loss and loneliness. They are trying to forget about troubles and mean people, not engage them. 

If you don’t like a post, or agree with a topic, or have a problem with sentence structure or punctuation, and can’t be helpful and respectful, keep your mouth shut and your hands in your pockets. Go start your own perfect discussion or seek out a narcissist forum in which to contribute. 

I’ve read enough of this garbage to have earned my say. If more people would stand up, this would evaporate. It exists in real life only where it is tolerated. None of you would walk into a group of healthy men and pop off at the mouth. Some say you would I bet, but I know better. I’ve done it and highly recommend against it. 

And don’t give me the ‘can’t stand the heat’ business. Most all of you can be helpful and respectful if you want. Pearls of wisdom don’t justify disrespect. 

Let’s love each other and enjoy our hobby. Please?



This is ironic. You tell the group no to be unkind to yourself or others while you yourself are being critical of us. Criticism and differing opinions as well as praise, encouragement and humor are all part of what this forum is about. It's not always pretty, and sometimes it is very ugly, and we need to check each other, or even request that a post be removed.

I understand what you are saying here, and I disagree. I have no plans to change the way that I interact on the forum, including comments about spelling and punctuation, and of course you have a right to disagree with that. It's called free speech, and it's not for the timid.

I reread my post. It’s a little heavy handed and harsh, I’ll admit. 

But I still think more civility would help, not hurt.

Post removed 

Silly me, I thought the forum was becoming much more civilized than it used to be.

@uncledemp +4

While helpful/sincere suggestions are welcome, arrogance, negativity and ill-will are not.  From my point of view, they are unacceptable.   


The old axiom "If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything" should be the standard.

It seems to me that most of the users here are pretty reasonable. It's the few persistent noisy "experts" who spoil it.

@uncledemp this is so spot on. Appreciate you stepping up. Too many a-holes here and a lot of people with valuable knowledge have left because the lack of respect. We in the world need to get back to basics with each other and respect thy neighbor is the first step. 

A vote up/vote down button would enable civil users to criticize those posts which cross the line indicated by the OP. Without such a feature, things can derail into bickering or finger-wagging.

Moderators, how about an up/down button? 

I find it amusing... all these would-be experts with golden ears and knowledge beyond reproach. In my experience, it's usually the forum members who are the most humble and that offer encouragement vs smarty pants passive aggressive responses, that truly know mor and who's insight is most valuable. Just my opinion.

I could not agree with the OP less, there is nothing wrong with Agon and the way people on here exchange their thoughts and ideas. We are all different in so many ways and communicate differently and I for one am glad when people show me who they really are, I just make note and keep moving. Oh and by the way, leave @roxy54  alone. Enjoy the music

I guess it’s ironic when you tell somebody if they don’t stop hitting their wife, you will hit them. The abuser becomes the victim, and we have a circular reference I suppose. But somehow that doesn’t sit well with me. So if I was to ask them to stop hitting their wife and they don’t, we have a conundrum. 

I’m never asked for your mercy, I asked for respect for innocent hobbyists that are here to have fun and belong. I’m a filthy hearted sinner, far from innocent, and likely don’t deserve your mercy. So stop picking at and browbeating people and I’ll shut my ironic, hypocritical mouth. 

I don’t think we need a button, I think if you feel you would get slapped in the mouth for saying something in person, it’s better left unsaid. I’m assuming you all are exposed to some men that are able and willing to redefine the scope of your freedom of speech. Think tow truck driver, not waitress, maybe that will help. 

I’m surprised my post was difficult to grasp, generally I am a clear communicator. 


I never picked on anyone, don’t know the cat, never tangled with him.  You’ll have to ask him why he responded to the post. I criticized behavior, not a member.

Leave him alone? 



4,885 posts


A vote up/vote down button would enable civil users to criticize those posts which cross the line indicated by the OP. Without such a feature, things can derail into bickering or finger-wagging.

Moderators, how about an up/down button?

Oh man that’s a brilliant idea! I suppose establishing the Audiogon Civil User Society will be part of this requirement and the button will only be available to its members.

Can we make 1984 fiction again?

Post removed 

I think I’ve laid out my case in clear terms. When I see some of you picking on others, I’m likely to pick on you. 

I’m going to the pool, tata!


@uncledemp I think you’re overreacting just slightly. This is an internet forum and there are policies that everyone should be following. Those who don’t, their classified ads and forum comments get deleted by the moderators. People are people and will behave the way they choose in that particular moment. You can choose to ignore and move on, respond or just leave the site to come back another time. You ranted quiet a bit in your post and that post itself reeks of attention seeking. So let’s take a deep breath. It’s internet. If you don’t like a site, don’t visit it.

@uncledemp Yes, you've laid out your case, for sure. If I grasped it, it was "be nice." Hope I haven't oversimplified it. And who's "tata"? She sounds fun. ;-)

@uncledemp, man the leave @roxy54 reference went right over your head. Like I said earlier, when someone shows you who they are, pay attention as I just have and so noted. Enjoy the music anyway

We may wish things were otherwise but it seems to me  @audphile1 clearly described the reality of the situation: 

People are people and will behave the way they choose in that particular moment. You can choose to ignore and move on, respond or just leave the site to come back another time. 




@tooblue I never claimed to be smart, haha!

@hilde45 6 yo granddaughter, only woman that would have me!

Hope everybody, and I promise everybody here has a great weekend, whether we agree or not.

Hey, let's see if we can break the 900+ posts recorded so far on the Some thoughts on ASR and the reviews thread.  I'm sure if we really put our hearts and minds into the challenge, and start getting really mean spirited about it, we can pull it off.  We're off to  a good start here.  Let's keep it going.  🤣  

I don't feel like I am disrespectful or caddy at all but I will at least try to be sensitive to it going forward.  You never know how your words affect others.  Being thoughtful is the least we can do, right?  It's all bout fun!

I appreciate the sentiment provided by the OP. My experiences tell me that people in this hobby are a very emotional crowd, so words and opinions with one another get pretty extreme. I do not mind the banter nor the differences of opinion, of which my opinions are always correct, but I do not like the name calling. My best to all and Happy Father's day to all. MrD.


OP:  Thanks for having the courage and class to keep the discussion on a civil tone.  I have read far too immature, reactionary and ascorbic comments in this forum during the past five years.  

@audphile1 : "People are people and will behave the way they choose in that particular moment". ... you are right, of course, but that fact seems both assumed and irrelevant.  The OP is requesting for more than that from this group, and rightfully so.  He requested civility, curtesy and respect in this forum, and I whole-heartedly support him. 

It is truly sad how many people are no longer here to share their knowledge, insights and aspirations simply because of the bad manners of folks who know better.  

Nothing wrong with disagreements as long as you don’t make it personal and/or get nasty or insulting.

Frankly however, right or wrong, public forums on the internet are not generally a good place for the easily offended.  



" public forums on the internet are not generally a good place for the easily offended."

I think that is really at the heart of this. The OP would like to see a peaceful site at all times, and I understand that. I don't think that it's possible, but I understand how he feels.   

I can’t overstate the value "little" forums like this one. People coming together to share common links and connections is unappreciated and undervalued. We learn and share from each. But, we also have the opportunity show our humanity in a world with an overabundance of clicks, emojis, and shocking headlines. Sometimes the best version of ourselves is not what shows up on a given topic or remark. That’s what makes us "human", I suppose.

My friends at and the University of Utah have put together a thing they refer to as a "Dignity Scale". The purpose was to evaluate an individual based on how much dignity that showed the other party, and not entirely on the content or voracity of the statement or argument they presented. It’s having an impact on politics, among other things, and seems to be getting some traction. The goal, of course, was to make people stop and take note of how they address others and show some level of dignity towards those they may not agree with. The moderators of this forum have no control over how much "dignity" they tolerate among members, nor should they. But, pausing for a moment before the performing a full body takedown might be helpful at times.


I wish I could say I don’t fail daily to be the best person I could be, but that would be a lie. I’m impatient, self-centered, and prone to jump to conclusions. Sadly, this leads to my words being careless at times. 

But I promise I’m trying. Bottom line is, I need grace and need to extend grace to others.

If we are aware and try to do our best caring for others, maybe that’s good enough. Maybe it has to be.  

I wish you all peace. 

I always thought that as long as politics are not involved, the discussions are usually pretty civilized.  I guess "usually" is the operative word.

@uncledemp very poor example regarding hitting a wife.  As a policeman for 25 years I’ve arrested many men (and some women) for Domestic Violence, some gave me the opportunity to (legally) hit them, but actually seeing the results of such violence over and over would hopefully make you far less prone to objectify the act, I never would in such a way, so please don’t on here.

I say keep it real and say whatever feels right. If you can't stand some forum heat once in a while you may want to keep your fragile little self outta here. Otherwise, after having seen a lot of silliness and some interesting info in here over the years it doesn't seem like it's become "increasingly" adversarial in's kinda still the same. Poke holes in pretentious or disingenuous posts...please...we can take it!


I appreciate your service as a police officer. That job is beyond my level of courage, that’s for sure. Reading your post, I’m not sure I understand your point, but I respect it. If there is a choice of saving an innocent person without violence, of course that is the choice to make. However, if justice requires violence to save or defend an innocent person, I assume that is the job of law enforcement. I could have used a more apt example, it was not my goal to trivialize a very serious situation, my apologies to all if that was the result. 


I respect your opinion, but disagree. I think the majority of members here, given the chance, would promote the ‘keep it real’ crowd to another forum. The feeling I get is a few people here pee in the pool and tell the others to get out if they don’t like it. And sadly, the gentle, well mannered souls leave the pool. Don’t drink the water or eat the snow…

I have been a member of a Corvette forum for many years, even though I sold the car a long time ago. This site has two sub forums that are interesting. One is for general off topic discussion and the other is the same except for topics of a political nature. They are still moderated to a degree, but with a much lighter touch. So it’s not the Wild West, but it’s close. But the point is it keeps things civil where it matters and people tend to have fun and not abuse the “freer” reign they are given. It is really the only reason I continue to frequent that forum.

I've been on here for a year or so now and find it mostly informative, even entertaining to read these posts. Generally they go like this:  Someone asks for a recommendation on something for X number of dollars. A few posts will actually answer the question, a few will recommend devices in the $200 to $400 range, far below what the person asked, then a few others will say "ah what you are considering is crap, you need to spend 5X to get anything worth listening to". 

It's all good. I've learned about brands that I didn't knew existed, and about devices that are a step up and some that are a step below my wallet's comfort zone. But it is good to have that knowledge.  And just as important to know what devices and speakers pair well together at any price point. 

We all love music and gear in varying amounts. That's what counts. 


Thanks for your well wishes! Best to you and all the fathers and grandfathers!

Hope you all have an awesome day!


I have a similar experience in another ‘off topic audio forum’. For the most part, it is good, clean fun. Bad behavior happens so rarely, it really stands out, and peer pressure keeps things in line. That is how I know the personal issues of several online audio hobbyists. I’m most protective of those suffering life’s hardest issues. 


I agree with you, I’ve learned a lot on here. In the past there were a handful of very well educated, experienced, and well spoken members that were patient to teach others. If you read in the archives, you have likely seen some of those posts, they stand out in the crowd. There are still some here, I hope they stay.