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Is it the gear or the ears?
So as an absolute lover of music and the presentation of music in the most satisfying way possible; I am constantly amused about many Audiophile habits.
Having enjoyed many decades of fine music and costly audio gear, I am fascinated by folks having what appears to be amazing gear (certainly recognized to be) but
more often than not, unable to enjoy lasting satisfaction of what I can only imagine is a staggering amount of cash spent and usually lost in the buying and selling of costly gear.
I know more than a few folks (men) who over the years have enjoyed what I thought were incredible audio systems. But in each situation the common theme was always a brief period of great joy “the Honeymoon phase” (or so it would seem) followed by the desire to be rid of something (usually what was last purchased) for the next “best” thing.
Only it turned out to not be, and this pattern continues with thousands if not
hundreds of thousands of dollars spent, trying to find I suppose a sound (gear) that they can live with. This goes on for years, and I honestly don’t believe true joy and satisfaction is ever attained. Perhaps for a fleeting moment, usually (and this bears mentioning) the most excitement I hear from these people is ALWAYS the anticipation of that next new piece. Only to be sadly disappointed after a surprisingly short period of time. Rarely does the new piece ever live up to the expectations they hoped for.
I acknowledge that we all hear differently, and what might sound great to me, might be dreadful to another. But what I can never wrap my head around is, how the the person doing the searching and buying is initially overjoyed seemingly (the honeymoon phase) but soon it’s as if the “ bloom is off the rose” and they suddenly
can’t find something to replace it fast enough. Also it bears mentioning that, the other common characteristic is the audiophile is always telling me, “doesn't this
sound incredible!” As if they’re trying to convince themselves or get some validation. At any rate, I find myself in the awkward place of being that guy that
has to point out that, “it’s Your system! What I think should not matter”.
Apparently I am sorely mistaken, because highly educated grown men somehow can be easily swayed by a stranger, a salesman or anyone if the appropriate praise is not received regarding their prized system.
But what baffled me the most, is the sheer lack of these folks to actually enjoy the music! Rather, the disturbing pattern of analyzing every detail of what is either missing or is in excess, instead of simply Listening to the music and enjoying it.
Over the years, I have changed gear quite a bit, so I too am guilty of the above pattern. At one point I decided to “get off the merry go round” and just really enjoy the music. I am fortunate that I was able to put together a system for me that allows me to enjoy music like I never thought was possible for me. What I listen to now would scarcely be considered High End Audio except my Source Disc Player but everything else is quite affordable and if I do say so, every Disc I play sounds phenomenal to me. (And yes because I am listening to it, I care not about what anyone else thinks) There’s great freedom in resting in that. Especially since I am not financially able to drop the kind of cash that would be considered High End Audio, being on a fixed income as a Disabled Veteran. You see at some point I recognized that spending a fortune on gear and not being satisfied is truly sad.
However, spending a very small amount of money on your entire system and being absolutely overjoyed is truly a blessing!
I mean if you drop $150k on a power amplifier and it’s sounds great, well it dang well better! But my great joy is finding stuff that is affordable but exceeds my expectations! That is what I love in audio. I can appreciate everyone’s personal choice and taste in music, because music is a personal experience.
My point is, music is truly “my drug of choice” and I believe one of life's greatest blessings. So when my brother shared this article with me I felt moved to share it
in this forum, mostly for what I hope brings a little humor to this often overly way too serious “boys club” The Audiophile.
GOLDEN EARS ANONYMOUS: A 12-STEP PROGRAM FOR RECOVERING AUDIOPHILES
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Welcome, friends.
Here at Golden Ears Anonymous, we believe in second chances. Yes, even for those who spent months arguing about cable burn-in on internet forums. You’re not alone. Many of us here have fallen into the same traps—obsessing over imperceptible sonic details while forgetting to enjoy the music itself. Together, we’ll recover. One step at a time.
Step 1: Admit That You Can’t Hear the Difference
This is the hardest step for many. Look, we know you convinced yourself that your $10,000 diamond-encrusted interconnects made your music “warmer,” but the truth is… you have to let go.
Take Steve here, who once swore he heard “new details” in a completely silent test track. We applaud Steve for admitting it. Remember, acknowledging that the music doesn’t sound better just because you spent more is the first step to freedom.
Say it with us: “It’s not the gear; it’s the ear.”
Step 2: Make Amends with Family Members You Ignored While A/B Testing DACs
Many of us have alienated loved ones by prioritizing perfect sound over actual human connection. Take time to write apology letters. Here’s an example:
“Dear Mom, I’m sorry I missed your birthday because I was recalibrating my speaker toe-in. I hope this letter finds you well and that you’ll come visit now that my system is almost perfectly phase-aligned.”
Reconnecting with family may feel daunting, but remember—they still love you, even if your obsession with room acoustics pushed them to the brink.
“It’s not the gear; it’s the ear.”
Step 3: Sell Off Unnecessary Gear (or at Least Try)
We know parting with gear feels like losing a family member. “But what if I need my backup turntable?” you ask. Trust us—you won’t.
Put your most expensive cable on Marketplace, slap on a tagline like, “Handcrafted audiophile power cable made to reveal hidden microdetails while elevating your system’s soul to sonic nirvana.” Then watch as prospective buyers ghost you after realizing they’d rather pay rent.
“It’s not the gear; it’s the ear.”
Step 4: Learn to Appreciate Music Again
Let’s face it—when was the last time you actually enjoyed a song without obsessing over the noise floor? For this step, we challenge you to listen to a low-bitrate MP3 on a cheap pair of earbuds.
Yes, it will hurt.
But as one of our members said, “It was liberating to hear Bohemian Rhapsody without analyzing the sibilance on Freddie Mercury’s vocals.”
“It’s not the gear; it’s the…”
Step 5: Stop Reading Audiophile Forums
Step away from the forums. No, you don’t need to read another 4,000-word argument about the “sonic neutrality” of a $3,200 laser-etched SD card for storing FLAC files. These places are toxic echo chambers designed to fuel your addiction.
Welcome in Tim, who has proudly shared: “I haven’t typed ‘frequency response’ in six months!”
“It’s not the gear; it’s…”
Step 6: Embrace Imperfect Acoustics
Here’s a radical idea: music doesn’t need perfect acoustics to be enjoyable. To help you let go, we’ll take a field trip to a live concert. Yes, the reverb will be harsh, and the bass will be muddy. And yes, you’ll survive.
Pro tip: if you catch yourself whispering, “This room has unforgivable slap echo,” bite your tongue. Hard.
“It’s not the gear…”
Step 7: Accept That Good Music Can Be Played on Bad Equipment
Say it with me: “Good music is good music, even on a Bluetooth speaker.”
As part of this step, you’ll endure a group exercise where we play Dark Side of the Moon on a $20 portable speaker. No crying. No grimacing. Just vibing.
“It’s not the g…”
Step 8: Forgive Yourself for Past Audiophile Crimes
We’ve all committed regrettable acts. Maybe you spent your savings on cryogenically treated banana plugs. Maybe you threw shade at a friend for using streaming services. Whatever it was, it’s time to let go.
Let’s hear from Alan: “I once adjusted my tonearm mid-dinner party to impress a guest. I’m ashamed, but I’m moving forward.”
“It’s not the…”
Step 9: Learn to Enjoy Silence
Silence can be music, too. But silence doesn’t need a $5,000 noise-canceling treatment to be pure. Here, we practice sitting in an untreated room without analyzing the noise floor.
Remember: the only person judging you is Steve. And no one takes Steve seriously anymore.
“It’s not…”
Step 10: Rediscover the Joy of Shared Music
Music was meant to be shared. We encourage you to introduce a song to a friend without giving a 10-minute preamble about the soundstage or microdynamics.
Rule: no stopping the music to explain how your turntable’s anti-vibration feet “elevate the emotional nuance.”
“It’s…”
Step 11: Help Others on Their Journey
Once you’ve embraced recovery, it’s your duty to help others. Gently guide your friends away from destructive behaviors, like spending $800 on an HDMI cable “handwoven by Venetian artisans and tuned to the Fibonacci sequence for mathematically perfect cinematic texture.” Host interventions when necessary.
Remember: tough love saves wallets.
“It’s not…”
Step 12: Celebrate Recovery
Congratulations! You’ve made it. Now, let’s celebrate by listening to We Are the Champions on a clock radio.
As a token of your success, we’ll present you with your Golden Ears Chip: a commemorative award for “One Year Without Buying Snake Oil.”
“It’s not the…”
Step 13: Relapse
“It’s not the ear; it’s the gear.”
You swore you were done, but then you caught yourself browsing “audiophile-grade Ethernet cables” at 2 a.m. Oh no! Oh no no no! You were so close!
Closing Remarks
Recovery is a journey, not a destination. But as you leave here today, remember: music is about joy, not perfection. And if you ever feel tempted to fall back into old habits, just ask yourself: “Do I really need a $15,000 cartridge to feel something?”
Enjoy Your Music!
36 responses Add your response
There are folks that enjoy the evaluation and acquisition of gear... enjoy the process more than the destination. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes they become dealers... allowing them to constantly evaluate and acquire equipment... and match to appropriate people... and make a living.
For others, they really do want the end product... but don't know what they are looking for. So, the solution is probably to bring that to their attention, have them stop buying and fly around surveying great systems or get season tickets to the symphony or concerts so they can figure it out... then pursue the sound. For some, they don't have the analytical skills to put together a system that achieves the sound they want... assuming they know it. They need to find a dealer or audiophile friend to help them. This is a highly ambiguous pursuit requiring a lot of analytical skills and ability to cut through marketing hype, huge number of variables... etc. Not everyone is up for the task. I have known music junkies who absolutely could not care less about the equipment the music is played, concert junkies, equipment junkies, etc. Lots of ways to enjoy the pursuit. |
It's your ears. All hi-fi systems (inc. $million) sound like the left speaker in below video. It's your ears/brain that trick you. All hi-fi & electronic sound like the left speaker because all microphones, audio components, and speakers are made wrong (*except Wavetouch audio mic & speaker). More recording studios are using Wavetouch mics now and there will be more natural sound recordings available soon. Alex/Wavetouch audio |
Thank you for sharing this—it’s a refreshing reminder of why we love music and the systems we use to play it. For me, enjoying music in its purest, unadulterated form in my personal space makes this hobby so fulfilling. It’s important to recognize that the ultimate goal should always be the joy of music, not the endless pursuit of gear for its own sake. |
Excellent description and prescription! If we don’t know what we are trying to achieve, it’s unlikely we’ll find satisfaction. At the same time, it may require some stumbling around, stubbing our toes, diminishing our bank accounts and experiencing frustration, before we recognize what it is we’re seeking. Learning what we don’t want can clarify what it is we do want. Ideally, our journey will not be dominated by this particular mode of education!
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First off let me say this isn’t a phenomenon exclusive to audio reproduction..It permeates EVERY single aspect of our existance from the shoes,clothes & jewelry we wear to the hair on our head to the cars we drive to the jobs we work,to the homes we live in!!! |
Much like the game of golf, high end audio is an individual sport. Who can explain why individual audiophiles do the things that they do, or why? There’s no rhyme or reason. That’s just the way we do it in the beautiful, wacky world of high end audio. I’m one of the fortunate ones. I’m a 65 year old retiree. I no longer desire to, or have the means by which to allocate massive amounts of funds to non-essentials like high end audio gear like I used to. So, after over 25 years of buying, selling and experimenting with my audio systems, about four years ago, I made a concerted effort to assembled an audio system that I believe would be my end-game, "Off into the sunset" audio system. In doing so, I spent a lot of good time and money to achieve my goal. Once I achieved my goal, I was now able to just sit back and enjoy the music with pure delight, for the foreseeable future. At this juncture in life, I’m completely satisfied and content with my audiophile system and with my audiophile journey. Others simply have yet to reach that place of satisfaction and contentment in their audiophile journey that I have. Others never will. Ultimately, like the game of Golf, it’s all up to the individual. Happy listening. |
Pursuing perfection is a joy. I find great joy/satisfaction in the process of striving for it. However, the standard of perfection varies from person to person but nothing is wrong with that. One gains tremendous knowledge through the process for both music and gears. |
Thanks for sharing the article. It’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole with this hobby. I think back to last night when I got goosebumps listening to a favorite piece of music. That’s what it’s all about for me. As Hans says, enjoy the music. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to get my friends and family to try streaming. I don’t discuss separate streamers and DACs though. That’s my burden alone. Fortunately I upgraded to an excellent streamer and DAC… |
This post looks like a great injection of common sense to me! I think the ears adapt to the gear over time. The ears are connected to a learning neural network, and it takes time for this ear/brain system to grow into new soundscapes, which it does my making new connections in the brain. This makes it hard to really hear beneficial changes. Are you really burning in a new cable, or burning in new pathways in your brain? The converse is far more instructive. Once you are accustomed to a certain level of reproduction, it is incredibly easy to pick when things get worse. For me this happened most noticeably when I switched a Marantz universal player (faulty laser) for a Reavon near equivalent. I could immediately detect a loss of quality when playing SACDs through the Reavon;s analog outputs. It later transpired that the Reavon down-converts Direct Stream Digital (DSD) from SACDs into CD quality. Surprisingly, I have never seen this mentioned in professional reviews of the Reavon, which is normally compared with the no-longer-available Oppos. A quick check of the spec sheets of the Texas Instrument’s Burr Brown DACs used in the Reavon shows no mention of DSD support - a sure sign that they do not natively do DSD. Degradation is easier to pick in an analog system, even with the same gear, I think. I find it obvious when there is too much fluff on the stylus, or I have accidentally changed the tracking force, or there is more rumble because a motor wire has loosened a bit. |
I’m down to maybe purchasing a pair of amp stands. Certainly no longer looking to make a major change. Have quite a bit invested and feel like I chose wisely. Focused on music and when sitting down am always grinning about what I’m hearing. Mostly when I sense an improvement could be made.changing the album makes me realize its the recording responsible for the shortcoming. Chasing nirvana is a losing proposition. Not to say I haven’t been there but a couple of system consultants seem to think I should be pretty happy, and I agree. |
“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. - Dr. Paul….. And don’t forget Rule 62, “ I Don’t take myself so Damn Seriously “. But what is very important to me is say THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE! And your humor. Regards , Mike B |
BTW , I was at the Sphere yesterday for “ Postcard From Earth “. The Eagles later in the evening, and there were a lot of really drunk people attending. Tonight it’s Collective Soul at the hotel theater here at the Venetian. And step 13 is misrepresented in the above article. It’s not relapse , it’s screwing the newcomers. I’ll have 10,000 days clean and sober next month, One Day At A Time. |
@lanx0003 "Pursuing perfection is a joy. I find great joy/satisfaction in the process of striving for it." +1 I do as well. It is really a privilege to be able to do so in something you are passionate about. |
I always found it odd and assuming that some people think because others evaluate, compare and analyze gear that means they don't actually listen to or enjoy music. Reminds me of what they say you are when you ASSume. I mean take your favorite sport and team... each off season people discuss moves, salary caps, trades, team direction etc, does that mean we don't enjoy the game when the season comes around??? At the end of tbe day(I hate that phrase tbh) it's a hobby, and for those a little more serious maybe even a lifestyle. Not sure why some "want" to be bothered how others approach their audiophile journey. Our society has invented names for people like this... Kens, Karen's, bored house wife, sowing circles, an old hen, a cynical...etc you get the drift. I'd say enjoy your own journey more and let others enjoy theirs how they chose do to so. |
I don't like being told how to feel about what I like to do. I can change part of my rig without giving a damn what anybody else thinks...That said, I don't buy gear for any reason other than to listen to music on it, and I utilize a personal esthetic and taste formed from decades as a working musician, live concert sound mixer, mule skinner, and know-it-all. If you chase new gear because you like to, so what? If you need therapy because you're hung up on new shiny objects, book some time. Or not. |
I don’t think this hobby is all that much different than others. some people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on luxury sports cars even though a Toyota Camry will get you from place to place. I know people into astronomy. Some of them don’t just enjoy looking at the stars, they are constantly buying new telescopes and other equipment and investing many thousands of dollars because that stuff is expensive too. Same with photography which I am into a little bit. Some amateur photographers collect $20,000 lenses like we buy $20,000 DACs. So this hobby is not unique. Some people find their enjoyment by putting together a relatively inexpensive system and then just listening. Others, who have the means andthe interest, find joy in tinkering and constantly looking for the next best component. If they enjoy it and can afford it, who is to say that is wrong? lots of voice to enjoy the music, nothing wrong with that. |
@wolf_garcia +1 to that. @OP - budget has nothing to do with whether people are happy with their hi fi system. I know people with ultra high end systems who are absolutely "music first" listeners and are not constantly chopping and changing. Equally I know people on small budgets who never stop swapping gear. |
For me, it is also about the eyes as well. Honestly no matter how good something might sound, even if I had the cash, if it looks like a robot or something from outer space I will not buy it. For some reason it seems the higher you go up in a company's line the weirder the gear looks. Gotta pass the eye test. I want speakers to look like speakers, Sometimes I will just sit and look at my rig (I posted about this a while back here) and appreciate the aesthetics of it. Crazy I know, but I also LOVE my rig and am not looking to upgrade anything! |
LOL. I am getting very close to ‘enjoying the music’ instead of ‘critical listening’. Perhaps I arrived there with my new amp & pre… but perhaps I am still in the honeymoon period. |
@ bjpd57a1 Thank you for a well written piece that caused me to slightly soul search myself. Nah, doesn't apply to me.
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Very interesting read but none of this comes as a surprise. Lots of common sense. Very similar to getting married to a supermodel and the luster soon wears off. It's a pain in the ass to buy new audio gear. It's too damn heavy and you really don't have much to choose from because dealers don't carry that much and so many other choices out there which you'll never be exposed to and you just live with it. And then getting rid of it by selling it to others is a miserable experience so you keep it on a shelf somewhere. And of course you have a room devoted to keeping old boxes because God help you if you get rid of especially designed shipping box for your auto gear. I'm happy with my system but would like to try another pair of speakers. And now I find the environment around my house being very noisy despite living in a residential quiet area and that's more disturbing than the actual gear I'm listening to which is now tarnished by all the outside noise. Does anyone know where I can live where I would not be subjected to leaf blowers all day long. And now they're using leaf blowers to clear snow which is absolutely absurd. |
Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing! Reminds me of a cartoon I saw years ago, likely in a magazine catering to audiophiles. The premise, as best I can recall, was an audiophile coming into the proverbial local high-end shop to have his amplifier repaired or tweaked in some fashion. After several trips back & forth after the initial repair or tweaking because things just didn't sound right, the establishment owner or repairman finally handed him a Q-Tip. |