Anyone in this hobby lonely like me and wish they could “hang” with a fellow audiophile?

My gear is Bryson B135 SST2 Integrated Amp with respectable onboard DAC (see Mike Lavorgna of Twittering Machines comments), Auralic Aries Dual Femto streamer connected to integrated with Shunyata Theta digital cable, Martin Logan Montage with Transparent Music Link Plus speaker cable.  The integrated has a tape loop where I connect a Charter Oak PEQ-1 studio analog EQ via Cardas Clear Sky ‘round trip’ cabling. I cut that loop in and out to taste and mood and depending upon the material listened to by simply toggling the monitor button on the Bryston remote from the listening position. 
Thanks. 

Oh, my PCs system wide are Audience Forte F3 and I now have an Sbooster BOTW plus Ultra as the external linear PSU for the streamer. 

The friendship I have with my 2 closest friends are rooted in shared love of audio and luckily for me, they are both local. One of them, I met at dealer when a manufacturer came to town to demo their new products. If your local dealers host such types of events, it's a great way to meet other local audiophiles.

Where in Florida are you?

I live in rural Utah.  I don't think they exist here!  

@tlcocks I'm in the same boat-it would be great to be a part of a like minded group that could get together, exchange ideas and listen to music. I haven't been able to identify such a group here-a bit surprising, I live in a city of 300,000, a college town, and there are bound to be audiophiles here. We don't have a proper audio store-unbelievable to me-and that's the most likely way to run into others with this affliction, I would think.

Although I consider myself one, I don't personally know any audiophiles. Considering the way I've seen people get their nads busted on this and other forums just because of their choice in equipment or music, I'm probably better off not knowing any. 

You bring up a fascinating and bravely posted issue, and that's the question of how the vast majority of audiophiles prefer to listen--alone or with another person. Speaking for myself, I can only listen seriously (as in a room and not talking) with another person if I am emotionally intimate with them, a best friend or someone you're close to (the friend you got high with in college every Friday listening to Kind of Blue, etc). If I'm listening with just an aquaitance, it's awkward...I cannot connect with the music or the person! Yes, sometimes I think to myself that it's ashame my insane stereo knowledge and killer system has been accrued for me and me alone, but at the end of the day, sitting here listening to Nada Surf by myself is how I prefer it.

Audiophiles tend to be very solitary individuals. I am, there is only one sweet spot. Typically in a ten year period I would have maybe one or two people come over and hear my system. Since I retired I have had more time to listen and have participated in this forum. Through which I have met quite a few people, some local. Several have stopped by and we have ongoing friendships. This is being really social for me. My partner and I are very solitary, and she is disabled, so traveling isn’t in the cards for us. 

It would be a lot easier if this forum allowed people to contact each other about forming local audio groups. I do not think it would effect the sales end as most groups are very local. Sales are regional or sometimes national. 

In the Seattle area there are at least three audiophile clubs.  The Pacific Northwest Audio Society in the largest in Seattle.  The Olympia Music Club in Olympia has at least 20 members and largely focuses on music rather than gear with monthly listening parties.  The Puget Sound Audio Club that I currently manage serves the areas on the other side of the Sound from Seattle and we have 10-15 members and so far have had more of a focus on gear than music but that may change.  I have found audiophiles to be welcoming and generous and eager to share their gear and music.  If no such club exists in your area I would urge you to try and start one.  It has been incredibly rewarding on many levels to get to know such a great group of people. 

@ghdprentice "Audiophiles tend to be very solitary individuals." My favourite type

Great post! Great reply @bojack I completely agree. I also must listen alone. It’s just our “thing” I guess. I just cannot connect to the music while others are in the room. Not in the intimate way I do, lights off, curtains closed, door shut and locked even though I live alone😂

But that’s the great part about my system pulling double as an HT as well. Nothing better than having people over and watching a great movie with the system cranked up in full throttle mode! 

My experience has been the opposite- when I was young, there was a thriving audio community in Pittsburgh in the late '60s and early '70s where I was in school, lots of hobbyists who would get together, the hi-fi thing being the common theme for socializing. When I moved to NYC in 1981, it was burgeoning with stores, both gear and record stores and I met lots of folks, fortuitously, the woman I would marry worked part time for a "golden ears" who was the backbone of the NY Audio Society. That fellow, Chuck Lamonica, was a wonderful, generous spirit and the meetings, usually held at a member's house in Rye, NY, were a hoot. We would have a yearly dinner with the Chinese Audio Society at a big dining hall in Chinatown where the Asian guys would order the craziest stuff to see if us gringos would eat it. Met the guy in charge of used records at Tower on Lower Broadway and when records were being phased out, bought tons of stuff with his help and made regular trips to the Princeton Record Exchange.

Time passed, I had less time for audio, spent a fair amount of time with fast little Italian sports cars and had a similar experience in attending events, meeting people and socializing. 

Moved to Austin, starting in 2012 as I began to phase out of my law practice and though I met a few audio enthusiasts here, I don't regularly participate in any events, frequent any retail establishments but on occasion, do travel to Dallas to visit with Albert Porter.

I guess I'm the opposite in that my world has "shrunk" as I've gotten older. I'm now in my '70s, still avidly listen, have a substantial record collection and do converse with like minded people, but much of it is remote now, not in person. Part of that may be age, part of it may be how our culture works now with the Internet being the glue rather than in person encounters. 

I think you are asking the right questions. Don't know if there is an audio group near you or a retail store where you might find others pursuing your interest. I think in some ways, though I was a pretty focused listener and serious buyer of some rare records, the social part of the hobby was in some ways the most important. 

Sadly, too, as I've aged, I've lost friends with whom I shared some of these experiences. I'm ok being a bit of a hermit but it isn't the best approach to living a full life. I leave in a couple hours for a driving event in the Ozarks, where I expect to meet some new friends who share a common interest. I do think a lot of us don't talk about loneliness, isolation and life enough-- it is certainly an issue for people as they age. I can only encourage you to reach out and try to connect through whatever means you can, including this board-- the "community" aspects are rewarding both as a recipient and as a contributor. 

I created a private hifi FB group six years ago when I resurrected my rig from a 15 year hiatus. The group has close to 1k members world wide now. It has led to meeting other audiophiles in NYC during a hifi vacation last year. I'll be going back there again in the next few months.

A buddy and I also created a local audiophile group. We have about 10 active members in the group. One of the members rented office space downtown for an audiophile club about a year ago. There is a ton of gear and albums in the club from various members and any one of us can go there anytime. Somebody joked it's a holding place for gear we don't want our wives to know about regarding our recent purchases! Last Saturday a few of us met up there for a couple of hours and then walked to a bar and listened to live music before going home for the night. 

It's been a blast hanging with the boys. A bunch of us also host listening sessions at our homes too.

Florida’s middle to northern east coast has a couple of audio clubs with different levels of activity. The Orlando area also has an active group that does stretch in both directions along I4.  Space Coast has a group and Jacksonville/Palm Coast also has some activity.  

Really struggling to get this site to work today. Lost two long replies to this thread already, but I am not going to be beaten by it.

I am no different from most here, an inward looking INTP type. 

For me, listening to music is solitary because my wife can’t sit down to listen, only have music in the background when she’s driving or exercising.

Sometimes, I think I wouldn’t have had any friends at all if not for my wife. She’s the exact opposite to me - an ESFJ, a natural leader and an outgoing extrovert, who once posed nude for good cause. A lady said to me at our wedding that marrying her I’d never be short of friends. That was prophetic. She has taught me much about how to socialise successfully. 

Yet despite my introversion, I have managed to make a few good audio buddies under my own steam.

First off, my ex-Linn dealer in the north of England, who went to work for a well known loudspeaker manufacturer has become a close friend. He has a similar system to mine, but is also into home theatre in a big way. My hifi mentor in many ways.

Second, another guy in the south who worked hifi retail from the Steve Hoffman forum. He is a bit of an authority on setting up LP12s. We exchange long emails about audio, football and life in general every couple of weeks. Never spoken to him, but still consider him a good friend - like kids had pen pals in the old days.

Then, I have a very good friend in Canada who has travelled north America and Europe helping people set up hifi systems as a hobby. He befriended me on the old WAM forums when I got cancer. We bonded because we had both lost our first partners in tragic accidents involving buses. He has dozens of audio friends. I talk to him on the phone every week. An obsessive tweeker for which he got driven off the WAM, he is into surround music, which I dabbled in for while, too. He writes articles for an online audio magazine.

I have another friend who I met through the WAM. We both clashed with a highly opinionated intolerant moderator there, who banned my friend. Over the past few years, we’ve gone to the North West Audio Show and occasionally travel the 100 miles between us to chat about audio and other stuff. Like my wife he works for the National Health Service.

There’s a chap with a similar system to mine who is friend on Facebook. We met through the dealers. He goes on record finding trips to the US. We occasionally speak on the phone about our systems. We actually co-operated through the dealer to acquire some parts for our loudspeakers by cannibalising a perfectly good pair.

My current dealer and one of his friends have set up a monthly vinyl club at our local pub. It has been going for a couple of years now and is very popular. Occasionally, my daughter and younger son will go if they are around, my wife too sometimes if I twist her arm. My kids aren’t really audiophiles, but they are all into vinyl. We’ve got to know many people at the club.

Finally, there’s a friend with a nice system who lives just round the corner from me, who I met through my dealer. He’s quite a bit younger than me, but we still get on well. We usually go the vinyl club together. It was because of him, my sons and the vinyl club, that i bought another turntable and stated buying records again last year. I am so pleased that I did that and became a born again vinyl lover.

So, I consider myself blessed with many good hifi friends, more than I would have thought possible twenty years ago. It’s a hobby that’s full of surprises. 
 

@newton_john Ditto

l have just tried twice to post and had 404 errors crop up and everything being lost.

This site is getting so glitchy again.

l decided to give up on this occasion,

To mylogic and anyone else who has had texts lost, I recommend this: Draft your responses in a local word processor. Get the text ready, spell checked, and so on, locally. Sometimes I use a very basic app like "notepad", sometimes something more sophisticated. Whatever.

Then, just copy & paste into the "Post Your Response" window.

Now to the OP's topic -- Audiophiles are a rare breed; that alone may make us isolated. We are saying, "WAIT. The speakers matter. That funny buzz matters.". We want to experience the music as the performers intended, and we make no bones about that being important. 

My approach is that I do not mention my audiophilia or my above-average system. When out, I just listen to the music. But once in a blue moon, when at home, someone listening with me will make a positive comment. I contain my thrill and go on to the next album or whatever. 

And hey by the way -- I did see 404 when posting. Something's afoot!

I'm in Bethlehem, Pa. Anyone wanting to listen are welcome to reach out. I do have audiophile friends. One lives in Orlando. The other is not too far. Another is in ill health. It is more fun sharing AND discovering new music. Thanks OP for the post. Joe

To the OP, I think you should relish peace, stability and living a carefully measured life.  Audio as a hobby, like many other hobbies, can be solitary.  If you want interaction, join a running club, cycling club, take a music class at your local Community College, a bowling league, or if you have a descent car with good brakes, and that handles relatively well, join the SCCA/BMW Club; they hold both track days and autocrosses.  An autocross will get your heart pumping like no kther as you try to hustle your sled around a tight & twisty course to the best time you can achieve.  The BMW CCA has a class where non-BMs run.  Plus, it'll make you a better driver.  Anyways, enjoy your solitude man.  

Best way to make audiophile friends, is make some of your friends into audiophiles.  Give them the disease!  I've given it to a few friends.  Now we listen to the same 5 songs on repeat and discuss how much saliva was on the lips of the singers we encounter.  Kidding but yea like most things, a good time is an even better time when it's shared with someone else.  I get it OP.  Took me a while to find anyone interested in audio gear.  I agree with some of these folks - get yourself to a local audio shop or hifi show.  You will find yourself a good listener.  And it's definitely worth it to have someone else go "wow did you hear that?!" - if I was in East Florida I'd come hang with you.  Just gotta find yourself a local audio freak it sounds like 😄

@whart great post. Thank you.

I’m lucky to live in an area with a very active audio club, despite the small-town atmosphere and laid-back lifestyle (California Central Coast). I think there must be about 50 regular members of our club, several of them very well-heeled with world class systems (and listening rooms), many others with deep DIY and engineering knowledge and experience. One of my best friends used to own the premiere audio store in the area and wrote regular reviews for Stereophile. I met another friend when I bought some equipment from him; he’s not even a club member, but has a great rig.

And yet, I basically never get together with any of these folks for the purpose of listening to our systems. One of them did recently want to hear a recording he’d made in the late ‘90s that he was remastering; his system is far better than mine, but he wanted to hear his music on friends’ systems in order to better understand what needed to be tweaked. Obviously, that was an exceptional circumstance, and even then, I don’t think we spent more than about 30 minutes really listening to the music.

Contrary to what you’d expect, even club meetings are not primarily about listening to the system or to the music, IMO. But maybe this isn’t so surprising after all. Club meetings are really like parties, with lots of people milling about, drinks in their hands, and talking. You can’t talk and listen critically to music at the same time.

On yet another hand, however—about 20 years ago, I had a best friend here who I regularly got together with to get high and listen to music. He hosted a couple of radio shows on the local NPR station, and was the most encyclopedically knowledgeable person about all types of music that I’ve ever known. Knowledgeable, and “talented” in an intuitive way; we’d be listening to, say, something from Schubert and I’d blurt out: “Wait; that sounds like something familiar….” And he’d immediately pick up the vibe and respond by naming what it was I’d recognized: “Yeah, that’s ‘A Day in the Life’ by the Beatles.” His recall for melodies and his ability to see musical affiliations was awesome. But note: our conversations were about music, not equipment. His listening space was a crappy apartment, and he regarded the kit as a fungible tool.

It's natural to want to share ones loves and enthusiasms with like-minded friends; most pleasures are enhanced by being shared. And yet, listening to music is a very solitary thing (it happens inside one’s head) and requires long stretches of non-interaction with others (as I wrote above, you can’t talk and listen critically to music at the same time). Now, making music is a very different matter! Making music together is a wonderfully social activity.

A lot of music lovers and audiophiles fall into the "introvert" category, myself included.  Nothing wrong with that, it's something born into us or chosen by life experiences.  I do have friends that I see regularly, but few of them have the interest in just listening to music unless it's in the car. 

Audiophiles are latent masochists.  Masochism is a solitary pursuit.  The next level is vanagon westfaliaphilia.

I’m overjoyed at all the response!  I think one who has passions should find like minded individuals to share those passions with. I have that online. But will use some of the advice given here about clubs potentially in middle east to NE FL and I4 region. Will reach out to my dealer in Melbourne FL. Ed with Audible Images. He may know of a club. Will search online too. Thanks all!

@gdaddy1 , I’m in Vero Beach Florida. How about you?

I live in NC. Fortunately, I have two coworkers who have this audiophile disease and both are younger than me, the younger one being 52. He's into everything except vinyl, while the older one is about 90% into vinyl and 10% into streaming. 

We have good discussions. The older one is trying to sell me his Parasound A21 for a good price, but I don't need it. 

Sadly, of the friends I grew up with in high school and stayed in touch with, only one was still an "audiophile" and he passed away 20 years ago. 

Somehow, another friend who was really into good music and a good stereo, decided he no longer cared. He doesn't even have a soundbar for his crappy sounding TV. 

Enjoy any company you can who appreciates good sound. 

It's kind of like being into photography and not finding anyone who appreciates the contrast and grain you could get from pushing Tri-X film. 

Am also, struck by the whole spectrum of extrovert/ introvert responses here too. While I’m an inherent introvert, which lends itself to this rather obsessive hobby, I feel I’m nonetheless growing beyond that and want to expand my horizons. 

OP yes it’s fun having audiophile buddy to listen to both of your system.

Interestingly, vanagon enthusiasts notoriously use their vans to get away from people...and to gather in groups...

Audiophiles use their stereos similarly.

Definately not lonely, but it would be nice to connect with a local audiophile near NW IN.

My wife is a musician and loves to sit in when listening to my good system, but dang she is a more critcal listener than me. I have to do alot more eq adjusting for her, lol. Shes a streamer hopper where as I like to play a whole vinyl album side.

So for me, the solo listening times are when I most connect with the music. 

i miss this too...

I never recover the only one i had yooung nor the other i lost of my sight after my retirement...

The 2 guys I could talk with about this stuff have both died in the last 5 years, so I come here (and go to web sites for places like Stereophile and The Absolute Sound) and read the reviews/comments. Sometimes I'll watch videos on YouTube from alleged audiophiles and experts.

Back in the 1970's, high school and college days, a lot of my friends had nice stereos and we would get together and talk about girls, listen to some great rock, and then talk about more girls.  Updating your system was a bit of an ongoing competition (albeit at the low end of the price spectrum).  So, a lot of active and social listening sessions.

Most of these friends have moved on or I have lost contact with them over the years. And I doubt if any continued to pursue this as a hobby in any serious fashion. 

I do miss the camaraderie associated with the jam sessions back in the day. I live in Central Ohio, so if any of you guys are in that area, let me know.  Would love to listen to some other systems and see how mine stacks up.

The only other audiophiles I've met were at listening events at dealers and they were much older than me

There is an audio club that has met a couple of times in the Boca Raton area that has about 30 members in it and its been a lot of fun so far.The Club is called South Florida high end audio club.

@newton_john @mylogic same here. I now write longer posts in a word doc first and copy shorter posts before clicking (keyboard shortcut ctrl A then ctrl C, then ctrl V to paste if you get the 404) 

@whart

I just have to make some fun of Pittsburgh in the late '60s. I visited a number of time (I lived in Western Pennsylvania) and never saw the city... not once. The smog was so thick I could only see a couple buildings in any direction. No wonder you guys huddled together inside. My condolences. ()

Back to the OP's question. Hang with a fellow audiophile? Not really.

You can't have a discussion while music is playing. Plus I don't know any audiophiles other than my local dealer.

I'm fortunate that my wife enjoys our weekend listening sessions and we mostly talk between breaks to change the LP, so I'm not lonely. I'm sorry that you are.

Here is what I find strange though, and so does my wife. My listing area and gear is off of an open plan living area in plain sight. It is obviously not "normal" stuff you'd find in many peoples homes, or even in many homes that do have some sort of turntable, the TT stands out.

Yet when I have friends and work colleagues over I can see them glance over at it, but no one ever says anything or asks any questions. This strike us as odd. Anyone else? 

I did have a few people leaning on the speakers once and of course someone put a drink on top of of one. I just walked up and put a coaster under the drink and smiled. Not easy for me, but what else do you do?  

I'm fortunate that my wife enjoys our weekend listening sessions and we mostly talk between breaks to change the LP, so I'm not lonely. I'm sorry that you are.

Did OP say he was lonely?

Change the requirement to friends or acquaintances that like music (as opposed to being “audiophiles”) and it becomes much easier.  I have a couple of neighbors whom I invite over to my house to listen to jazz and drink scotch every month or two.  Been doing it for over 15 years and we became good friends as a result.  Neither of them is an audiophile, but they love good music, good booze, good food, and good conversation.  I have another neighbor whose politics are polar opposite to mine; he’s coming over tomorrow night for bourbon and good tunes.  We started doing this about a year ago and it repaired our relationship during these tense times.  Don’t require it to be mutual; use it to have fun, and you will.

@devinplombier 

Did OP say he was lonely?

yeah, in the title of his post

Oh.

Oops

One should always read the title 😬

macg19

Back to the OP's question. Hang with a fellow audiophile? Not really. You can't have a discussion while music is playing. 

I'm fortunate that my wife enjoys our weekend listening sessions and we mostly talk between breaks to change the LP.

That's right that we don't want a discussion while music is playing. You are really lucky to have your wife. Many women can't stop talking. So, they go to a live-band cafe (natural sound) to listen to music and talk to friends.

My audio system is natural sound and the conversation is OK/welcome with the music is playing. Other people's conversation won't disturb music listening. It's like people are in the live-band cafe. Alex/Wavetouch audio

@boxcarman 

You make a good point.

The one important thing we have in common here is that we all enjoy sitting down and just listening to music. This distinguishes us from most other people. 

We should celebrate that.

Yet, it seems to get overlooked in all the futile spats between the various factions on audio forums.

@thehybridvigor 

Yuk! Having to mix with old people. How awful for you.