In my former marriage i was introduced to high end audio by my husband.
At the time the endless visits to highend shows , meetings and shops annoyed me. Tech talk and not very female friendly designs came and went in my living room.
And although i couldnt get used to all of the above, one thing i learned , how to listen.
Now years further , in my second marriage quality audio wasnt a very well know topic of my husband working in tech. Mediocre cheaper hifi dominated the house, which looked even worse and sounded even a lot worse.
When we talked about new speakers and bang and olufsen was mentioned i knew i had to educate him , to let him know whats on the market and how things can sound.
The revelation ended in buying avalon speakers and simular quality equipement and cables.
Now its up and running i really enjoy music again!
Who would have thought that!
I have never seen a lot of other women enthousiastic about quality sound and music. Are there any in this group? Do your wifes experience the same as i did?
Well, as long some of us are talking about wives and speakers.. Some years back I bought my wife a diamond 20 year wedding anniversary ring. She wore it for 2 days then sheepishly asked if I would be offended if we took the ring back to buy some high end speakers. Me offended..of course not! She now wants to update the older Mcintosh Equipment....ah, a marriage made in heaven.
This thread is about equipment, no? How did it blur into claims that women don't like/appreciate music? That is preposterous. Anyone who pretends to think that should probably spend some time in a symphony hall, or just roaming the corridors and practice rooms of a conservatory.
My GF loves high end audio that I introduced to her when we met. In fact I set up a system in her house from components I had in storage including Alon Lotus SE mk ll speakers, Nola subwoofer, MIT speaker cables and PS Audio P300 regenerator for source components. Nothing is better than listening to music while cooking dinner for her and listening to her favorite album.
To my suprise,woman bought speakers from me ,dynaudio contour s1.4 LE When we talked on the phone abaut speakers,I could not tell by her voice if it was girl or boy or teenage girl :))) When she arrived ,I was a litlle bit dazed and confused. A woman age may be 40-45:))) She begged me for speakers wires as gift,could not resist and gave them:)))
Hey Jasmine. Glad to hear from another woman on this forum. I must confess to not having posted in some time. Happy holidays and happy music listening to all from another happy Avalon owner!🎄
My wife has regarding music practicly nothing incomen with me. So i have my mancave an she has her womancave. This is going on for already 40 years an we are still happy with each other. 😅
All stereotypes are open to defeaters. And they cut both ways. And they're not always inaccurate. I tend not to get worked up about them.....in an attempt not to be a stereotypical easily offended American.
My wife’s hearing is far superior to mine, and all other male hobbyists that I know. Now if i could only get her interested in listening to my rig, for more than 20 seconds!!
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Ask her.. REALLY, ask her what does the sound need. NOT the system, the SOUND.
No tone control, that’s a problem if you want to share... I’m telling you.
You need it to get started, EASY and TONE control. Just like you learned... Volume, tone control, widen the sweet spot, two heads are better than one. 101 X 2 OK... STEREO, It takes TWO!!!
I'm struck by the stereotypes (...) such as women "don't know how to listen" and "prefer to talk."
No way! I have never met a woman who did not have acute enough hearing to IMMEDIATELY pick out differences and what is better or worse.Excuse the emphasis, but I agree that that stereotype is absurd.
On second thought, maybe women in general don't need "to know how to listen": they discern differences naturally without "training" :)
I'm a female audiophile and it's a passion I have never shared with a male partner. Actually, I've only had one male partner since 1985 (we're not married nor do we live together, but we're partners), and I "became" (I guess) an audiophile in 1986, so I've been on my own forever with my audiophilia. He is not an audiophile, but he is an engineer and has an interest in gadgetry, so he used to go with me when I haunted high end audio shops. We would walk in together, and of course the employees would approach him and ask him if he needed help -- at which point he would point to me, and the real conversation would begin. It got so we made sure if we went in together, I would go first, so they would see me first. It didn't always work -- sometimes they would ignore me and still approach him. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm struck by the stereotypes I see repeated on these pages, such as women "don't know how to listen" and "prefer to talk." Please. We know very well how to listen! For goodness sake. I wish more women would get involved, because statements like that are a clear indication that the men have been spending too much time only with other men, and have lost touch with reality a bit.
I’m a relatively new member her, a year or so maybe, but I recall a member, Elizabeth, who was a frequent poster here. She was waaaaaay into hi-fi. Knew her stuff. Knew what she liked.....but was also in constant pursuit of that last tiny incremental improvement.
@audiokinesis , isn't it great to have an 'in-house' QC? ;)
Spouse is awaiting a pair of 'semi-sorta SOTA' monitors for her desktop, as 'in-monitor' pairs on dual screens are laughable @ best....
We have different 'preferences', but music is a common ground in our lives. She likes her equipment a bit more 'plug 'n play', whereas I can complicate a paper clip when left alone..
My wife's hearing is far superior to mine, and all other male hobbyists that I know. Now if i could only get her interested in listening to my rig, for more than 20 seconds!!
I wish more women were interested in audio/music and frankly more people. Somehow we have settled into casual listening and younger folks stuck with their earbuds. I don't think people realize the escape and inner balance music makes. I have been blessed with a wife that understands my music habit and purchases and will, on occasion, join me for a listening session. I wish my hearing was as good as hers.
Amego, do you guys like to DANCE together? It is a bond that cannot be broken.... Even with a walker, yes a WALKER.
When the looks go, the hearing is gone, but the walker works... You got it.. Still feel the beat....
Hats on the floor, I slowly walk around the hat to the beat of the music and my faithful pup is right behind me. The angel that was sent from above, keep beat with her beautiful slender fingers, as we slowly back around the hat...
One birthday she gave me a higher end Koetsu. Another a cost-no-object DIY air bearing TT. Two years ago, a purpose made listening room. (Our first attempt was only good enough for a HT.)
My wife loves music and prefers it reproduced properly. She's a allowed four listening rooms and a recording studio. One is a Michael Greene turnable room. I'm very fortunate for this and other reasons.
I know female audiophile exist. Met them years ago at the winter and summer CES shows. 1970's, 80's. And while visiting audio salons on America.
I wanted my girlfriend to respond but she gave me the "don't wanna" look. I know for a fact that she knows what sounds good to her. And can pickup changes and aspects in my system that I overlook. Worst, when she hears something different she goes and looks (inventory?) at my equipment. Could mean I spent money. She is one to go to shows or shops. Which are non existent here in Kona. And expensive to go do. She's much into talking technicals. Sitting, listening, evaluating, tweeking, trying this 'n that... No. Can she hear mid range clarity? Bass extension or definition? Top end extension? Air? Spaciousness? Width, depth, detailed of image? Ambience? Bad recording? YES. She may not know what it's called. But she hears it. Does she complain or comment about them. No. She doesn't really care. Unless I spent a lot of money. . Oooo. A thought just came to mind. Open a high end salon in like Macy's or Nordstrom.
In my expierience, Iv'e encountered very few women "audiophiles". Now before all you women go beserk, this is just my observation. They don't know how to listen! They would much rather talk.
millercarbon:"
The few women I have seen are good listeners but only one who was really into the seeking out auditioning evaluating part of it."
Hello millercarbon,
So, you've only seen a few women? You do realize that slightly over half the world's population consists of these lovely creatures, right? Perhaps you should leave your system alone, make yourself presentable, get out of the house and try to meet a few more the next time you're feeling frisky. You'll just need to remember to fake it around them by pretending to be nice, polite and non-flatulent. And you gotta resist using that ether and duck tape in your trunk on the 'wicked ones' so often. And ditch the shovel while you're at it, too.
n80 and others: ditto. Had an extended discussion with an old friend, symphony player since high school (a prodigy). He says musicians cannot be impressed by anything less than the sound of real music being played in real space. You may have the best Mercury Living Presence ever cut, played on a $250k TT through the most transparent speakers ever made, and the symphony player will go: ho-hum.
To you? Optimal position, front third center, perfect hall: that's what your rig sounds like to you, indistinguishable from Stoki live. Not to the symphonist. Ho-hum. Maybe that's why we are hobbyists and they are professionals. Just like sports. The athletes risk crippling injury to play the real game; we watch on TV. Even watching from the stands isn't the same as being on the field.
Once we recognize that this difference is inherent, embrace it, take it for what it is, we're just fine. Continue as before. That's what I do. Egad, who wants to spend their lives practicing cittern anyhow? Or kicking a soccer ball around? Others do it for our amusement. Not a bad division of labor, I'd say.
In the late 70's I was recruited by another HiFi woman salesperson to join Tech HiFi in the TriState region. Live music was my social life so having a Audiophile system in my living space was a must. I loved working for a great company and helping many people select their audio systems. Through my entire life I was into music and audio. Home theater fix started in 2001 with Pioneer Elite electronics and rear protection system. I am now back to 2 channel analog system with streaming added for music source research. It is true that at most shows, online and clubs women are the minority. Our passion is equal in every way.
My girlfriend has played saxophone and been a music educator for 30 years. Both of her sons play sax and her oldest is attending a university on a music scholarship. Serious music family.
They have a Bluetooth speaker that weighs less than a coffee cup and changes colors if you so choose. It doesn’t bother me, I enjoy music through whatever...
She enjoys my stereo and is an active part of my joy in the hobby. I just find it curious that her, and some other musicians I’ve known (nobody famous) have had little interest in having an intentional sound system in their home.
I think most women won't admit they like the sound of good music. I remember add a pair of REL S2 SHO subwoofers to my system and dancing in the living room. She noticed the difference and never complained after that. She like showing off our system to our system to our neighbors when we had them over for cocktails and dinner. The key is to make sure you make thing look right. I can't believe some of the systems I see pictured on Audiogon. They are incredibly ugly. I can't imagine even sitting in those rooms just doing noting but listening but listening to music. I have to be surrounded by a nice comfortable feeling room.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound? With you we finally have someone in the forest to answer the question! I wish! My wife can’t tell the difference between music played on her cell phone speakers or“ my” vandersteen’s and this frustrates the hell out of me. Same with tv she does not know the difference between standard and hd and 4k video. I just set up a middle of the road streaming system in my 15 year old daughters room and she said it sounds “different” from what she has been use to and she is listening to more music now. So I do have hope for her but my wife is a lost cause. Great for you to post this and prove that you do exist and there could actually be more of you!
My wife and I are in a middle income tax bracket. Spending stupid money on my hi fi desires has always been a touchy subject. She likes the sound of quality stuff, just has way too level a head on her shoulders to spend beyond our means. Two years ago I was wanting a new pair of Legacys. The Signature SE’s were on my wish list, but the 6500 a pair was stretching my available funds. I called the dealer, which was in a neighboring state, and ask if his demo room has prices listed on the speakers. He replied yes. I asked if he would remove them for my wife and I’s demo session. He chuckled and said yes. After about a half hour of listening to the Signatures, I ask the dealer about the break in period and what differences to expect between what we were listening to and a well worn set. I mentioned the tweeters and how crisp they were. He said, " Let me fire up the Focus SE’s, as they have the same identical tweeter array and they have been played continuously while in the showroom. I knew the SE’s were over ten thousand dollars and absolutely out of my price range. In 30 seconds of listening, my wife pats me on the arm and says " THOSE...are the ones we want." I said (as I chuckled) " Babe, their a little out of our price range." She surprises the heck out of me and says "Our stock is doing really well right now"..I am just being floored that my wife is trying to talk ME into these speakers. Of course we bought them, and to this day she does not know what they cost.
n80: "She does not know how to work it even though it is no more complicated than firing up the space shuttle."
Now that made me laugh!!!
To the OP and all the lady audiophiles, I think it's awesome and I'm sure most would very much welcome more women into the community. You sound like a great lady....you're welcome in my humble listening room anytime.
For the other evil woman out there.....stop putting Xmas decorations on top of our speakers....LOL.
Such beautiful stories, memories, experiences and points of view.
You gave me tears in my eyes, and a smile on my face with your beautiful messages, thank you for sharing!
Sharing the love for music is about creating memories.
To share this with my husband makes our connection stronger.
And i see simularities with my husbands passion of collecting and driving classic cars.
He loves that i want to go with him to shows and auctions, to drive together on a sunny day, together with the children, or only us 2 when its one of his sports cars.
Those cars, although i dont know anything technical about them bring our family joy through making memories.
And there you have it.
Enjoyjng each others company through audio, classic cars, traveling, dining, great wine, sharing experiences together.
Thats what its all about.
Again, thanking you all for your beautiful stories , wishing you all a lovely festive season.
Hearing physiology is pretty much unisex so if the SQ is good all sexes should enjoy it equally. Usually wifes are extremely jealous to any activities which requires lots of husbands attention. Wifes wants to be the centers of the universe. Doesn’t matter if it high end audio, hunting, fishing or ball games. Very few are capable to enjoy other things besides relationships.
So we currently have a crew of 4 doing painting in our home. All women including the business owner. My wife found them. Gotta say they are doing an impressive job! Hard workers and very attentive to detail. They work hard, fast and efficiently and their work is immaculate! They listen to a little Bluetooth speaker while working. My upstairs gear is in the room they were working in. No interest or mention of my toys. Why did I bring this up? Mainly to give the crew of lady painters kudos. It’s just not something you come across very often.
Most men don't care about quality audio either, so let's say, most people. They like "music" and so long as it's what they like, they aren't concerned about the sound quality, just the song.
I believe people are generally average in tastes and perception, but much of this is learned behavior by conformity. Everything is "ok" and therefore is sufficient. Some percentage will develop deeper interest in something, food, beer, cars, music, film, books, etc. and become more discriminating in their thing of choice. But societal norms and pressures skew a lot hence cars are a "guy" thing and sewing is a "girl" thing. People end up letting those norms dictate their lives consciously or not, unfortunately. Others follow their hearts regardless, man or woman and pursue happiness.I
Moral of the story, open your mind to everything and enjoy what you like, not what society says or thinks you should.
My wife has never bought audio equipment. I brought it into our marriage, the 2nd for both of us.
But she had some 1960s LPs! (That sweetened the deal! LOL!)
So after setting up our new home, I had approval to set up the audio equipment. It was when I played her LPs that she became an enthusiastic listener. She had never heard her old records sound like this. Otis Reading, Supremes, Cream, CCR, etc.
Now, when we’re sitting in the LR, and she turns off the TV, gives me “the look”, I know I’m getting “lucky” tonight!!!
Thanks for posting djasmine. Reading your post and most of the responses brought some joy to my life today. Especially oldhvymec, which also brought good tears.
My wife of 22+ years, who has better ears than I, enjoys the hell out of our audio journey, and has contributed greatly to our combined audiophile enjoyment.
I think women are programmed to multitask — something I, and I suspect most men, struggle with — so it’s probably harder for them to just sit and focus on one thing. This may also explain why they’re such awesome drivers. Heh heh.
As a kid from the Projects, I wasn't exposed to the finer things in life. Going to an Ivy League college exposed me to things I could not afford, but still lusted for. My parents chastised me for being so gullible. After college, working for the 1% exposed me to even more things I never knew or dreamed of.
I would say your your former husband did much the same for you. Let's just say life has a strange way of guiding us. -And, guiding us to be better than we ever thought we could be, if we give it a chance. I think your current husband should consider himself blessed. Bob
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