You know you are an Audiophile when:

If one has a, "fondness" for, "sound"; they’ve literally fulfilled the definition.              Audio = (noun) sound, especially when recorded, transmitted, or reproduced                 ....Phile = (combining form) denoting fondness for a specified thing

btw: The bulk of your post is spot on, but- has nothing to do with the word.                            Though, I suppose, another suffix could be added to connote degrees of involvement (ie: audiophile1 thru 10, audiophilish thru audiophilest, etc).        Then; you'll need a judge.

If, when you see a listing for a piece of gear you might be interested in, you look at the picture of the back of the piece first.

You know you are an Audiophile when:

You have a 3-4 bedroom house and will not allow family members with kids to live with you.

Family members with no kids are considered on a case by case basis and vetted only after a long process of investigation. Are they neat? clean? Respect and care for their own possessions? Can they walk in a store and not touch one thing? Only eat in their dining room? Appreciate a good song or movie? OCD?

A tape measure is permanently next to your equipment for measuring the distance between speaker and wall, the other speaker, distance between the equipment and sides on the shelf, your sweet spot...

You once had a cat who scratched a grill on one of your speakers and you respondent quidam. You no longer have that hairless cat.

If someone touches a piece of your hardware you, out of reflex respond with an inside ridge hand to their jaw. As they regain consciousness they hear you apologizing and explaining that it was pure reflex and that they should have warned you when you first got there.

When someone asks if you read you respond "Yes, several hours a day". But what you mean is you read forum discussions, articles, you research various gear that you are interested in.

You have more invested in electrical infrastructure in your living room than some small businesses.

You are browsing Audiogon looking at items for sale even though you don't have the money to buy at the moment. You select a item to read about it and the first thing you do is see if they are local.

You decide that when your lease is up you are going to turn you car in and not get a new one, to save money for new equipment. Instead you will drive your 86 Jeep. To work. In Arizona. In 100 plus temperatures.

Wow i did not know that.

I sure am glad that I am not an audiophile. 

I would not claim to be an audiophile in the strictest sense of the word but the fact that I have speakers in almost every room of my house would seem to indicate otherwise.

The first thing you do when you come home is turn the system on and start playing the demagnetizing tracks, so by the time you're done with dinner it will be warmed up and ready. 

Of all the things listed above I have/do about 2 or 3 of them.

How many does it take to make you an audiophile?

Anyway, I've never considered myself an audiophile.

I also do not think a narrow definition of audiophile works as it is often relative. I do not want $65,000 speaker cables. I also do not want to listen to 1990's boom box.

Funny: When I mentioned to my 20 year old daughter that I was talking with people on an audiophile website she looked sort of disgusted and wanted to know if that was legal. Not pedophile website. Audiophile website. She said both of them sounded weird anyway and recommended that I not tell people. She is a natural blonde.

You kill the ceiling fan in your bedroom during listening sessions to eliminate background noise, despite knowing it will lead to much warmer-than-ideal ambient temperatures.

You invest in a backup system to play during thunderstorms while your main rigs are unplugged for peace of mind, because going without relatively high-quality music for 3 hours just isn’t an option.

When you physically remove the ceiling fan because the fixture resonates on bass hits. 

I think your describing an EDP.

But I think in my case its having to much equipment, just in case .

If you care enough to pay any attention to this thread then by G-d you are an audiophile.   Just accept it. 

... : You have a turntable and ALSO know how to solder!! Although, if you DIY your own cables AND believe they are comparable to expensive ones ... you are only delusioned. On the other hand, if you use cryogenic aftermarket fuses and  OBVIOUSELY installed in the correct direction, you may be on your way. Of course, it ultimately come's down to convincing the consensus of those whom feel that they HAVE reached that pinnacle. Good Luck!

Keep 'em coming.  Wait a minute.  Did I actually write every post here?

Hi,
you visit your listening room a number of times during the day to see that everything is there.

When you think about killing your wife to buy an amplifier....

:)

petg60 -  you visit your listening room a number of times during the day to see that everything is there

ROFL : D

This thread or one similar was started in 2005. As we skip down memory lane this is what I contributed then. It still is true BTW.

You might be an audiophile if...
the UPS and FedEx guys know not to stop when they see the wife's car in the driveway. 

No matter how great your system sounds you are looking for improvement.

Most tellingly would be the fact that you have nightmares where your speakers have been damaged and you chase down everyone you have ever met or known and demand to know if he/she is the guilty party. True story folks, and no joke, I woke up sweaty and with some heart palpitations.

After listening to music, your back is sore from leaning/sitting forward because it sounds better and brings out more detail further from the back wall and back of the couch you are sitting on.

You not only want to see the back of the unit, you Google it to find an image of it with the case removed. 

Thanks guys, This is the funniest read I have had on this forum so far. Hilarious. And so true in many ways. Like the tape measure thing, haha.

On a more serious note, you know you are an audiophile when you build a dedicated listening house, not a room, but a separate building housing a listening room. And only you have a key, not even the wife has one. It is the ultimate peace of mind about your equipment and vinyl. You can now relax.

Baylinor, I’m considering that one right now!! Adding on to my garage and making that exclusively a listening room.

You wake up one day and realize that you have 11 receivers/amplifiers, 10 sets of speakers, 4 turntables, 10 phono cartridges, 4 dacs, 3 CD players, boxes full of hardware and specialized connecting cables...and you don't see anything wrong with that.

Good for you, it is a journey. From planning the dream building through unending research, designing it, the financing, building it, moving in 2,000 vinyl and all the gears, plus installing the acoustic treatments, it took a good five years. But it is the best thing I have ever experienced sound wise.

Nnicola ,Exactly ........

When researching a new component, the first spec you look for is the weight. 

You shop for a new house and the first thing you look at is how and where to set up the sound system...and if there is a suitable room.

You feel so blessed that the telephone pole in the corner of your backyard has a transformer on it!

Your male dog wears a diaper as he has been known to lift a leg inside the home.

You have a secret bank account that houses your mad money dedicated
to the cause.

You have tried your stereo in 6 different configurations in your
rectangular room.

You installed a "Reverse" timer switch on your refrigerator so the
noisy thing is shut off when you are  listening and your food does not spoil when you forget to plug it back it back in. BTW buy one with a 6 hour max.

You do not lose sleep debating the age old question:
If one has to go, which would it be? Stereo system
or spouse?

Lifting or try moving a 100lbs mono block amps would not be a problem but lifting my wife sure seems heavy! 

@chorus.  I did that!

You have 4 different stereo systems. 
You have no room for all of your stereo systems....

3 more true for me:
You never quit buying- bigger, better or newer technology.

You buy an uncomfortable low back couch because it will let you listen to the stereo better.

You buy your wife lots of jewelry to "even things out" (her words).

@n80....You dau confused you with an 'audioperv', which likely exists Somewhere, seen @ trade shows with sweaty hands and barely disguised excitement....;)

Lets' see....3 receivers, 3 TT, 2 stand-alone CD, 11 pairs speakers, 2 subs, 2 dedicated computers, 4 screens, 2 eqs', 2 cassette players, 2 switching matrix, The Amp, other misc., boxes of this, that, and the other....the usual media to feed the above....

Audio enthusiast.....*S*  I'm more 'diplomatic' about others' audio gear.
I trust my spouse with most of it....but she leaves my main pile alone...

"It's too complicated for any sane person to use...."  *G*  That, in itself, speaks volumes...

The other day I used the word 'infinity', and she thought I meant the speakers....which we haven't had for decades. *L*

....if you ignore the 4 that I 'modified'....;)

Hey, MC!  What is a 'demagnetizing track' exactly?  Wouldn't a good stiff drink work as well as?  Just asking.... ;)

The only piece of furniture in your listening room is a single chair in said sweet spot to avoid any interference with the sound from other furniture. Also currently looking for a new house and a dedicated audio room with the right dimensions is a must or else the house is a no. (Been looking since last August).
When the system in your garage is worth more than your vehicle.
I am also ashamed that all the examples in the OP describes me.

You have a practiced list of ready rationalizations for when you are questioned about your amount of gear (use one most likely to hit home with questioner):

”Others are we into boating, I’m into audio.”
”Others are into fancy cars, I’m into audio.”
“Others are into golfing every day, I’m into audio.”
”Others are into motorcycles, I’m into audio.”
”Others are into world travel, I’m into audio.”
....

Every time you have guest over for dinner, the evening ends after a few bottles of wine & bourbon in front of the audio system playing some of the most amazing versions of songs they heard all their life, and they sit there slack jawed in amazement that music can actually sound so wonderful.  And you offer up the sweet spot to the most unconvinced of the group.

You mail out a Money Order for your most recent audio purchase because you don’t want your wife to see the paper trail by using your checking account or credit card.

You mail out a Money Order for your most recent audio purchase because you don’t want your wife to see the paper trail by using your checking account or credit card.