You know you are an Audiophile when:

..when the sonic masterpieces of the 'audiophile's audiophile' Emory Cook take pride of place in your collection.

https://folkways.si.edu/cook-records/smithsonian#:~:text=Emory%20Cook%20(1913-2002),equipment%2C%20a....

Your wife wants to go to a restaurant where they prepare the food in front of you.
You take her to Subway. 
You might be an audiophile.

Your Broke....

...AAnnd, I 'do this' Just to mess with the 'oversee-ers', who are stuck with trying to determine IF I'm:

- Attacking Someone (no)
- Obscure profanity (no)
- Engaging in 'fringe humor' (Yes)
- "Jerking EVERONE'S chain".....

Someone ought to....;)

@ geofkait is conspicous by abscence, so I'll act as a 'place-holder'...*G*

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/humor/snl-just-released-every-appearance-of-bill-hader-as-stefon-ever/ar-BBWw642

...always sounded more interesting than the bus tours to me....

When you post things like:

"Is there any reason a pair of these MLs':

https://www.martinlogan.com/en/product/illusion-esl-c34a

...act as a decent pair of speakers in their own way.  They've got Everything; self-powered with 'designed for' amplification, AMTs'. ESLs'. fast woofers, digital control potential, knobs to twiddle if one's Still not 'Happy', a rational size that might pass 'SOAF' muster ("They're weird looking, and they don't match the drapes...."), and I can't afford even 'borrowing them to see if my pre-amp "plays well" with them' much less Actually Buying Them to how "Right/Wrong" I can be....

....leaving viewers to think I'm either:

- On drugs
- Off my meds
- Needing therapy
- Escaping therapy
- Acting like kenjit
- kenjits' alter ego
- Doing 'This' on purpose, just Because...
- Or just wanting to create feedback betwixt the ears of the reader(s).

Your call, your turn.... ;)

Silopsitically Yurs, J

Instead of enjoying what you have, you go on audio forums and s@#t on people for enjoying what they have.

You post a photo of your system in a FB audio group...  people get bent out of shape... it gets a bit ugly... and you are accused of "Showing Off".

Demagnetizing tracks 😐

-None of your cables touch the ground, or each other
-when someone asks how much a certain component costs, you divide the cost by 75% and their response is “wow, thats expensive”
-your outlets are medical grade and cryogenically treated
-you take into consideration what effect your listening chair will have on the sound of your system
-when showing someone how good your system sounds, you consider yourself an acoustic panel and stand where it will be most beneficial-you’ve started analyzing the acoustic properties in the rooms of your favorite you tubers and unsubscribed from those that have slap echo, even if they have the best content
-you leave your system on 24/7 in order to burn in a new component
-you unplug your system at the first sight of a thunderstorm
-you’ve responded to this thread
-you’ve read this thread and go “Hey, I do that!”  

'Too many systems?'
Yes, thank god for the loft.


'You buy an uncomfortable low back couch because it will let you listen to the stereo better?'

Yes, that's how my back issues started

'You become aware of how bad the sound is on some recordings?'

Majority of them unfortunately.

You are painfully aware how awful sound systems are at bars and clubs?

Yes, ranging from pain to 'at least there's good dynamics.'

'Your stereo is worth more than your vehicle?'

At least twice as much.

'You visit Audiogon forum every day?'

Several times. In fact more since the Lockdown started.

'When you plan your vacation around a few Audio Stores you would like to visit.'

Well it would be a shame to waste a trip to London and not check out at least a few of the specialist stores.


'No matter how great your system sounds you are looking for improvement?'

Yes, if only the illusion was a little more real. Although to be fair I am a little surprised at how currently nothing unpleasant stands out. I'm almost scared to touch anything in case something 'goes off'. Maybe I should mark the exact current positions.


Yes, I know, I understand. There's no cure for this, is there?  By the way doctor, if you don't mind me asking, what kind of system do you have? 

You are an audiophile and more, when you feel and can explain how good Hitlers speech  were recorded....    :)

You show more care and attention toward your audio components then your family,...

When you think Stanley Kubrick's controversial film 'A Clockwork Orange' is primarily a movie about audio equipment.

You have a furniture dolly to move your equipment around.

You have seven different pressings of a favorite LP and can explain, in detail, each version within a few moments of Dropping the cart.

Hey, fun link,
~~So, my then GF's first visit to my house, all the seat, couch cushions are stacked in corners and "first bounce" in sound room..a deliberate decision.."this is me." ..going on 26 years now.  
~~Mid 80's driving home on Maine Turnpike with the new active preamp, ticketed for 85mph..a genuine, "Thanks Officer, have a great day!"
~~Craigslist find of a $1,500 Danish small floorstanding loudspeaker perfect for my son's retro vinyl system...3 hour drive to Mass doing the deal in a shopping center parking lot at 10:30pm (after a nice warm chat with sellor)...a nice bonding experience with my son, btw.
~~Spotting some one owner JBL L7's for a steal on Craigs...too large for here, storing them for 6 years, flipping them for over twice the cost and buying a Focusrite new DAC with the proceeds.
~~Stacking 2 pairs of McIntosh XR5's and XR6's in late 70's.
~~My brick and mortar store owner removed the picture window in his living room to bring in large Altecs.
...the things we do for love!  More Peace, Pin

....your family, relatives, and close friends are drilling the 'net, looking for an 'audiophile' version of AA....or some verison of 'encounter' that may not preclude violence or restraints.
(I do have 2 passwords to 2 'puters that refer to audio subject matter....and NO, no hints...)
....your pile of equipment, accessories, and general junk will likely take more time and effort to break down, pack, move, unpack, and set up in a new location in a new set of 'parameters' then all the combined other flotsam and jetsum of your entire household and the other 'stuff' of your 'normal' life....
(Your spouse just bought the new Dylan album, and you're Already determining the 'best speakers' and TT to play it on.....and that doesn't include what will encompass the digital download....)
...you take on 'out-of-state' work a 'portable version' of your equipment...and Yes, the speakers....(True to Life Confessions)...
...Nobody Anymore Wants to Even Consider Asking for Your Not-So-Humble 'opinion' on ANYTHING of an 'audio nature'.  They just want to go to Best Buy and spend 500$ on something to go with the flat screen....

We're all well beyond mere therapy..... ;)

You know you are an Audiophile when:

.. you say 'good morning' to your stereo setup (and/or maybe even 'good night').

I read your comment of having a stereo system worth more than your car. I remember a guy back in grad school about 30 years ago who told me his ten-year-old Honda Civic had a $6000 stereo system. I was too close to my rather modest upbringing to not think he was financially irresponsible. But now as I do the figures in my head, I realize my system is worth more than my car. Of course, now I crunch the numbers I realize I have a 2010 Honda Fit with 210,000 miles on it...

When you get divorced not once but twice because of your over buying of audio equipment.....well that was one of the reasons...lol

You shell out $1500.00 for a used pair of speaker cables and are amazed at the great deal that you got!

I always liked to play the same files i like the most....But i also use some files to rightfully assess the state of my audio system....

My controls embeddings methods are complex and with my listening i can detect if there is some defects, or something amiss among all the hundreds of modifications implemented .... It is impossible to verify all of them one by one each day.....   :)

You purchase a $25,000 stereo and set it up with custom made, low, fill-able, spiked stands... and although it sounds good... you can hear that it's not quite there. Hearing about power cords... you buy a couple to try out at $250 each. This does not cut it. You purchase a couple more at $500 each. Much better...  but not quite there. A friend is upgrading, and asks if you are interested in trying his $1,500 pc's.
1st one on source... WTF?!
2nd on pre... OMG!3rd on pwr... So... How much do you want for ALL three?  : D

Is this just me?
Once my speakers are set up... I never touch them unless it's to dust them with a moist cloth....

You “pet” your speakers when you walk by them...

Your neighbor demos his stereo and it sounds pretty darn good for a relative pittance and you wonder what am I wasting my cash on.  Ten minutes later your ears and brain adjust, you are reminded exactly why, compile an extensive list and bite your lip.

If you have a $25,000 audio system and drive a 20 year old POS Honda, you might be an audiophile. 

If you send $10,000 on audio gear and take your wife out to McDonalds for dinner, you might be an audiophile.

If your vinyl collection catches on fire and burns for three days like a junk yard fire, you might be an audiophile. 

When you can spend so much time talking about audio minutia that your friends want to put their brains on the wall.

You are on vacation and just thinking about when you can get home to your system..

You have a dedicated audio room. Absolutely, with audio engineered construction at $500/sq ft.

Your listening chair is in the “Sweet Spot”.  Not really, three sweet seated sweet spots.  I dislike head in a vise sound.  Maybe four sweet spots.

You have sound treatment on your walls.  Radical inside the wall treatment and substantial side wall and suspended ceiling treatment.

You spend hours properly placing and tweaking your speakers.  I did spend about an hour placing speakers but four hours tweaking the SR HFTs and four Hallographs

You understand that properly placed speakers will create a 3D sound stage (placing musicians and singers in localized positions… from  left to right… front to back) [Sound-stage]  Absolutely

Your stereo is worth more than your vehicle.  Absolutely

You know that higher end components do a better job of: being less fatiguing to listen to, creating the imaging (sound-stage), representing the instruments more accurately and with more detail, are more involving.  Higher end but not necessarily higher cost.  

You are intimately aware of the performance and tonal quality of your system, and can describe the results of any changes in the system.  Absolutely.

You are aware of how bad the sound is for the first 3 - 4 songs at any live music event.  Not necessarily.  I am a part time recording engineer and the orchestra, chamber group and choirs I record make sure the sound is set from the start.  I have 100s of my recordings to prove that.

98 % of the time… when someone cranks their stereo up and says “This sounds GREAT” you cringe. You could list all the ways and reasons why it sounds awful… but you don’t.  About 80% of the time.  I'm not entirely happy with several friends high end systems but they are enjoyable to listen to.

When listening to music… you spend a portion of time listening to and exploring the placement of the sounds in the sound stage, and the quality and detail of your system… with your eyes closed.  With the lights nearly off-as in a concert hall or opera.

You become aware of how bad the sound is on some recordings.  Only poor mastering is generally the cause.  I listen to the music with the sound quality that I expect from the recording/mastering engineer.  I listen to 10,000s of 78s every year as well.

You are painfully aware how awful sound systems are at bars and clubs. Absolutely

You have increased the sound performance of your system through upgrades and tweaks... multiple times.  Upgrades mostly 15 years ago, many tweaks last five years.

You are aware of sound reflections in your home, and live music events.  Yes

You continue to learn and try new things.  Absolutely

Out of curiosity… you try various things on your system… to see what, and if… there are any improvements… ie: cables, cords, isolation, dampening… etc.  I am a beta cable tester for a manufacturer who has had me test about 200 cables in 20+ years.  He has settled on final designs in the past two years.  $400-$1000 ICs, A/C and speaker cable for Masterbuilt quality sound.

I am an audiophile second, music lover first.

Hahaha... @highfi - "You do it in the dark./ You do it by yourself." -- this cracked me up. Absolutely. 

When some of your internet passwords are the make and model of some of your most revered audio components...

You do it in the dark.
You do it by yourself.
You yawn to pop your ears before your activity.
You don’t want to be prematurely interrupted.
You moan quietly “oh, that’s the spot...”
You mumble to yourself “I know I put it somewhere.”
You need more power than a theme park.
You get taken for a ride every time.
You must leave your significant other to engage in what you love best.
You use the needle to get high.
You are engaged in high fidelity and yet you claim your in-laws are into infidelity.

Because you are into analogue, you buy a cassette deck, then you buy another cassette deck, then you buy a reel to reel tape deck, then.........

I'm with millercarbon!

Would rather listen to music rather than; BBQ w/ the neighbors, go to work, take the kids to school, stop to make something to eat.....

Start thinking seriously about upgrading from home-made speaker wire to the latest and greatest pitch for the "ultimate speaker wire." Must keep wallet in pocket and buy 100 new vinyl releases....

When your not at home and you can’t stop thinking about your listening session from the night before.

@toddalin - a silent wow is still echoing in my mind

When you tell non-audiophiles how much you spent on your system, they think you’re crazy.  Most won’t understand regardless if any explanation.

You have been known to have passed your spouse an envelope
with $5k inside so it can be spent on clothes or whatever.

You conceive(!), design, and build your own equipment when none is available such as an A/B/X box with both speaker level and line level matching, then wire your room up specifically to test different speakers.

http://www.audioheritage.org/photopost/data//500/medium/DSC_0054.JPG

http://www.audioheritage.org/photopost/data//500/ScreenHunter_123_Dec_14_15_17.jpg

You design and build you own speakers including the crossovers specifically tuned for the room that you listen in.

https://youtu.be/sk-h7OyfSGU

http://www.audioheritage.org/photopost/data//500/medium/ScreenHunter_250_Jul_13_11_47.jpg

When you never work on cars but buy an engine hoist cherry picker so it's easier to move monoblocks in and out the listening room.

chorus: "your male dog wear's a diaper....". Heck, when your system require's your listening guests to wear them while playing the 1812 Overture!! 💣

@barts said: " You get rid of the Craftsman tape measure and replace it a Bosch Laser measure because the former is just not "accurate enough". Oh yes!

Doh! I did that the day I got my speakers.

I guess I'm a latent audiophile...........not that there's anything wrong with that.

When you plan your vacation around a few Audio Stores you would like to visit.
Prior to the Covid issues.
ozzy