Friends hi-fi system not very good, what do you do or say?

"I have a friend who is a rock star"? Tell us his name. 

Keep your mouth shut at all costs. If they like the sound of their system, that is all that matters. I liked where someone just said nice and let it go. Invite the friend over to your house sometimes and just happen to ask if they would like to listen to your system. You have to understand that if your system is great, you might embarrass your friend.

Honestly,  you should get new friends if it sounds that bad...  😁

You and I have two very different opinions on what is witty...

Unless you're being ironic.

My take …. A couple of things

(1) Understand your differing orbits before you compare them

There is likely a chasm between the respective party perspectives when a guest is considering expressing feedback or an opinion on the homeowner’s audio system capabilities.

Unless the homeowner is actually clearly asking for an unvarnished opinion (and can properly appreciate any constructive criticism on how they can improve it….) . Assess FIRST where the homeowner resides on the Yellow Brick Road to Audio OZ.

Mostly based on a homeowner’s resistance to opening up his budget, the guest critic’’s “not very good ..” is in constant tension with the homeowner’s position of “ ‘good enough”, with his cheerful acceptance of its present limitations, shortfalls, and warts ….fine but important distinction..

(2) Regrettably , most people can’t handle the truth …full stop.
​​​​@hilroy48 already alluded to this embedded in his witty sarcasm in his post above.

TAKEAWAY:

So choose your words wisely.

The one exception might be where you are first provoked and the proverbial gauntlet has been tossed in circumstances where the homeowner pontificates that his “race to the bottom” cheap-as-you-get it price budget system somehow meets or beats your high- end system.
We have saw these in YouTube as barkers and false prophets preaching to a very small cohort of misguided disciples.

Otherwise,,,@lanx0003 ….+1

Per actual experiences. I've sold gear locally so in that case the buyers have been pretty transparent in asking for advice. In buying gear locally sellers are more apt to give advice vs take, somewhat ironic when I hear their system and its not up to par. If they're extremely prideful of system I'll try to hide my displeasure, if they seem open to an opinion or questioning I'll offer my two cents. I always try to pose my advice as suggestion, never want to to come across as condescending or superior.

The most curious encounters have been extremely expensive components, equipment hoarder, tons of equipment laying around unused or in second systems, and the main system sound quality is relative crap to the expense. In these cases always amazes me that some people don't believe in cables or rooms or AC quality, always something left out that leaves much untapped potential. In these cases I've made it clear they should at least consider the things they've left unattended.

If it sounds good, compliment it. If it doesn’t, don’t say anything—your friends probably already know. Friendship is forever, but audio systems are transient, subjective, and come and go. It’s not worth risking a friendship over sound.  "Put yourself into his/her shoes."

If my friend was happy with their system I would be happy for them.  It’s all about loving and enjoying the music.  I’ve given people advice on different equipment over the years.  Sometimes it’s for very expensive components and sometimes for a Bluetooth speaker.  I’ve shared my hobby and passion over the years and have given away a lot of equipment too.  Enjoy the journey even if it’s only a single step.  

There is a number of good peer reviewed articles on giving constructive criticism from a human resource perspective on the internet.  The principles apply in all situations, not only the workplace.  Constructive criticism should not criticize but rather focus on some obtainable recommendations or suggestions on how to make improvements based on your experience.   Give constructive criticism between statements of praise.  For example, state it is obvious you put much work into equipment selection.  I have found room treatment can have a significant effect on SQ and you should consider this.  Use “I” phrases is suggestion (I… think, recommend, consider, etc.) rather than “you” commands (you…should do)..Provide examples from your experience.  Be empathetic.  Put yourself in their position and think about how you would want to hear the criticism and what specific words would be most helpful to you.  Express your passion and knowledge enthusiastically without being condescending.  Constructive criticism encourages someone to learn and grow.  Destructive criticism discourages someone and makes them feel inadequate.  Constructive criticism is specific and includes action plans. Destructive criticism is vague and confusing. Constructive criticism is delivered with empathy. Destructive criticism often includes harsh and confusing language.

@hilroy48 

"I am an asshole that way, I don't mince words. I tell people what I think if they ask period. Not my fault if their feelings get hurt. Life's tough, wear a helmet."

Yes, I think you're right.

As they say. "Know thyself."

If you’re friends and he doesn’t know you have the same hobby. Are you really friends? I hardly doubt it.

If I met someone and they try to hide the fact that they also have a dedicated system of their own, that would probably be my last invitation.

I also find your comment about the Lambo pretentious.

I own a relatively "nice system" myself, running electrostats but I also enjoy my $70 Moondrop aria earphone. If one loves audio, well... idk but not like this.

If you find my direct post offensive, I apologize in advance.

The best thing you can do is to invite that friend to your house to listen to your system. Of course after you say something nice about his. Then play some music that he is familiar with and see his reaction. Offer advice only if asked for. Otherwise, don’t say anything. That same thing happened to me, except that I was the friend with the crappy system. 

If I'm listening to the worst system I ever heard, and I'm asked about it, I'll reply:

"I've never heard anything like it in my life"

Hoping they don't want more detail.

I just say.nice system..Most all gear looks great these days so it's not a lie & they might think it sounds great..As quickly as possible,I invite them to go listen to live music so the next time they sit down to listen to their "nice system"they might realize looking & sounding great are not the same...

I have a friend who is a rock star, and he's got more vinyl albums than many record shops, but his sound system is about on par with a 1970's Radio Shack setup. I tell him he should bring some of his records over to my place some time so he can hear what they really sound like, but he hasn't taken me up on it yet... 

Sounds good is what I'd say...   everyone perceives sound slightly differently.  Maybe they like it bright, dark, boomy... 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLTEpuhGURE&t=27s

DeKay

I would say something complementary about it or having it and then mention that you you have a system and were able to improve the sound by doing X. The trick is to be tactful, interested, and helpful and offer some evidence of your knowledge and that big improvements are possible without being a Hilroy or being condescending or critical. Human nature is that someone coming in acting superior or condescending to you will ruffle your feathers and close off communication. It is all in the approach. But it offers a great opportunity to start discussing something your are passionate about and offer some assistance.

Much like I wouildn't tell the parent of a newborn how butt-ugly their child is I wouldn't tell a friend how awful his system sounds.

Sound is subjective so your "not very good" is someone else's "great".

I always respond “sounds good!”

That makes everyone’s day.

I say, what a nice journey you’re on. if they look at me like what do you mean I’ve reached my destination. That’s my clue to just smile and carry on. If it’s the other way, I know I found a kindred spirit, and we can talk about such things  that are very important in life. Such as does a grounding box really work?

I would simply say to my friend that he/she shall audition the audio system from his/her friends to realize what good sound should be.

If my friend was happy with their system, I would probably say something like "very nice". If asked what I thought could be improved, I'd probably make a suggestion. 

A couple of years ago, an audiophile friend made a comment about my vinyl setup being a little light in the upper frequencies.  He was right, but it cost me about $4500 to fix it.  Lol.

I would not want to encourage someone to spend a lot of money if they are happy with what they have. 

What would you expect if someone came to your house and listened to your very nice sound system and they actually spent 1.5 million on a state of the art system of their own with a dedicated custom built room and that audiophile thought yours was not that great?

I am an asshole that way, I don't mince words. I tell people what I think if they ask period. Not my fault if their feelings get hurt. Life's tough, wear a helmet. 

I always say, my hobbies and or life don't need to meet your expectations, just mine.