I love my wife but WTF? Does anyone else have a problem with the old lady constantly whining? The volume has been turned down twice tonight to the point where I need to put a stethascope up to the speaker to hear it. I might have to try one of those herbal vaporizers as posted in another thread. Does anyone know of a legal way to sedate her after 8 PM?
This thread makes me laugh. But only because I AM the wife... and I'm the audiophile... and the system is mine (had it pre-marriage).
My husband isn't an audiophile. He's respectful though, especially about purchases and listening time. He enjoys listening to most of my music and even his own on the system. The only time he asks me to turn it down or off is if I've had jazz playing for too long (he's not a jazz fan).
The only times we get into 'arguments' about the stereo are times we get into discussion about things. He's a software engineer... so things like USB DACs and digital audio fascinate him.. but he thinks in terms of software programs and not sound quality so sometimes discussions get a bit heated... but not too bad.
My wife works for a non profit foundation for a third world womans college. She has worked for Head Start and other low income programs. She works wherever she can help for as long as she feels she is helping and not for the money. If more people (me included) were like her this would be a better nation and world for that matter.
I make good money but I am very bad at managing it. My wife on the other hand is very good with money management and all I have is because of that. But like all men I do wonder from time to time, then I come to my senses. 25 years and counting and she puts up with this hobby to boot.
I ask myself that same question from time to time. It always comes down to this, I would be lost and broke without her. I would not have the system I have without her.
I was married for 18 years ....Ten of them were pretty damn good...Not in a row. She loved music but those were my too poor to have anything nice days. She did blow the woofers in my B&W speakers twice! Ahh the memories.....
This thread crackes me up. My wife told me to turn it up the other night. She loves Martha Davis & The Motels. Cranked the pi** outa it. It was awsome. She always tells people, "Been married 24 years. Best 18 years of my life." -John
"Happily married 39 years" - translation for younger folks: "Happily" means 39 years in one marriage. Without "happily" it would be just a sum of marriages.
I agree with Tvad, Glory, and 280. Also with the suggestions of headphones. I usually listen with speakers either with my wife or when she is not at home. If my listening would interfere with something else she is doing, I use headphones (Stax electrostatics, which I invested in particularly for that purpose).
Does that mean that I end up listening via speakers less often than I would ideally like to? Certainly, but I'm cool with that.
My wife (married 34 years) doesn't mind very loud music (NO, you cannot have her - she's mine) but have some issues with certain music I listen to (contemporary/modern, Indian Classical, progressive jazz etc.). I try to avoid music that makes her nervous (I play it when alone).
I like the idea of putting your jacket on and say you're going to the bar, but that might lead to divorce and after paying your attorney you won't have any money for your stereo hobby anyway. It has been my experience women have better hearing than men and women can hear higher frequencies than men do. Maybe there is something about your system that isn't allowing your wife to enjoy music the way you do. Ask her what she thinks of the sound. I am sure you will get an honest answer and she will probably be right.
There are about 10 guys in my audio group. Half of them are lucky in that they have a room to themselves- a man cave, where we can listen to music with our friends, or alone, and the wives usually leave us in peace. We can turn it up and listen to what we want. So, try to take over a room to have to yourself and let her have the rest of the house. She's got it anyway, so you win. I realize this is not an option for everyone, but it is truly the best one unless you have a wife who is also passionate about the music.
Mutual respect. Give and take. Some days you have to go with the flow. My wife and I are best friends. If she asked me to get rid of my system, I'd do it. Our relationship is worth a hellova lot more than twentyfive grand of electronics. So turning it off on occasion is no big deal.
If I refereed to my wife as old lady,things could get a lot worse.She never was into sounds,but she listens with me in the stereo/tv room.I got a concert block on my floor.Of coarse I quit spending money there was an improvement .I,ve been blessed.Good Luck
I am inexpert in the reasons people get (and stay!) married, but I agree with the posts above suggesting that the strain over music is likely proxy for the other issues. Maybe a discussion of music habits could lead into other needed discussion. Meantime, if she's seen the Dead 125 times, maybe you can buy her some of the live sets getting put out on Rhino. Some sound pretty good -- I'm currently enjoying Hartford 77 -- and might make for musical olive branches you both enjoy. :) Best of luck!!! :)
You guys are funny. Everyone is enthusistic about cracking out jokes. I play louder when my wife and kid are not home. So you need to know her schedule. For me, grocery shopping is my golden time for listening. Oh, whenever she wants to go to my mother-in-law place, I try to come up with excuse of not going because that will be serious listening time again. Remember to check her schedule real time if possible.
legal way to sedate her after 8 PM..simple red wine and a a turkey sandwish..sedate doesn't always mean you are going to wind up on the forensic file channel.
Wow Tvad after your thought on this matter you would think Jr would yank this thread of his. You not only know about audio but most importantly you know about charactor.
The music always sounds better when there is peace and respect in the home.
My wife last night asked if I would play something different than Rock/Jazz so I put on some Perry Como and that was to her liking. It even sounded great on my system.
Tvad: Please don't tell me in your circle you hang out with the Duck of Yorkshire or maybe the Earl of Buckingham.Please this is all done in complete levity and nothing more. You should hear what wife's and girlfriends say about their respected other it would make sailor's blush and truck drivers turn white....
I am a firm believer that "marital bliss" begins afetr the divorce settlement. Or you can join the new organization that addresses this issue MTD "marry the deaf". Another suggestion is make her mad one or two nights a weeks and send her to her mothers....
I solved that problem by having 2 high end systems on 2 different floors of our house. While my living room system is my favorite, for those times when wifey wants to watch tv or read, I retreat to my man cave upstairs where I can listen to my secondary system which sounds excellent and surf the net at the same time. Problem solved.
I love my husband but WTF? Does anyone else have a problem with the old man constantly whining? He refuses to wear his hearing aid and then complains when I turn down the stereo to inform him the police are at the door issuing a noise violation. He even mocks me by pretending that he needs a stethoscope on his speakers to hear the music. I might have to try one of those marriage counselors as posted in another thread. Does anyone know of a good one?
LOL! No, they never stop whining. If my wife goes an hour w/o some complaint, I run over and check her pulse. Just like I always say "If they ain't b!tching, they ain't breathing". I solved this issue in the listening room by changing my work schedule. Now I work when she's home and she works when I'm home.....why'd it take me 20 years to figure that out????
it aint the volume of the music my friend. The problem is that you are not paying attention to her. Get her to sit close to you with your arms around her and she won't care how loud your playing it..
Your wife's complaints may be more valid than you think ... but not due to excessive SPL (Loudness)
What may be irritating her is the high frequency ringing that she can hear/perceive and you can't
Women are more sensitive to high frequency noise then men and it may be the high frequency distortion/ringing that she can hear that you can't that is driving her up the wall
"The volume has been turned down twice tonight to the point where I need to put a stethascope up to the speaker to hear it"
This would indicate that it may not be a SPL/Volume issue
"Does anyone else have a problem with the old lady constantly whining? "
My combination of NHT3.3's and 500watt D500 Phase Linear generates 92 to 96db at the listening position with peaks just over 100db and my wife can sit and listen all day long without a peep ... but the minute we turn on either one of our two TV sets which play through the TV's speakers ... the first thing out of her mouth is "Turn that noise down"
It took me awhile to put it together and then it hit me when she kept saying "Turn that noise down" that it wasn't the SPL/Loudness but some noise (high frequency distortion ) that was irritating her
My suggestion is to save the money you would spend on a Marriage Consular and invest it in a quality power conditioner, some vibration control components, and Room Acoustics
Sidenote ...
Unless you two are Die Hard motorcycle enthusiast (Bikers) I would definately refrain from using the phrase "Old Lady" with reference to her ... or else you will by pass the marriage consular phase and go directly to the Divorce lawyer phase
Whining yes, whining about my music, no. One of the things my first marriage taught me was what I could and couldn't put up with and what my spouse would need to tolerate. Football and music were 1a and 1b on that latter list. I pretty much knew I was going to marry her when I found out she loved classical music. It was good enough that she was ambivalent to football and worked weekends. As it is you have your work cut out for you. Negotiate and bribe is about all I've got, unless you can draw her into your music somehow.
I did the headphone routes. I got a very nice paid and a vCan headphone amp. Know what? I think of the electric bill savings as I can run this without my amp (tubed) being on.
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