Barb, thanks for the good news. Honestly when I saw the Lugnut moniker listed as the last person to respond I was a little worried about what I might see. I'm glad the bed and tube are working, and it seems as if the new meds are less hard on Pat's body.
Thank you too, for taking on another, and difficult job, of keeping us informed of what's taking place with our friend.
The prayers continue, as does the love... |
arb, tell Pat that a friend of mine and I loaded a bowl last night in his honor(no not that knid). I am talking here of the sacred Pipe of the native peoples. Prayers were said, and my friend was moved that someone could share something as serious as death with others he supposedly does not know(he's a neo-luddite :)-~ ). We love you Man. Peace, Derek. |
Hey Pat take a sad song and make it better; remember, to let us in to your heart, then you can start to make us better; dont be afraid you were made for this... |
Talked to Barb last night, she said Pat was resting better, and able to sleep for more than one hour at a time. The hospital bed and the tube which drains his stomach prevents the vomitting that has been so regular.
He was even drinking a Rootbeer while I was on the phone!!! That is a lot of progress compared to the water which was the only thing he had been able to ingest.
Good news for Pat, but last night my father went into the hospital, so I guess it all balances out. |
Nrchy,
Hope your dad gets better soon. Many of us are anxious about the prospect of becoming the family patriarch. Hope your time isn't near.
Barb: sounds like as good a news as can be expected in this time.
Howard |
I hope your dad is OK, Nate. |
I need to say something - my heart is crying out to - even if my mind can't figure out the right words.
I am so grateful to have experienced your great love and goodness, Pat and Barb, though I am 1500 miles away and will never see you in person in this life. I so wish I were closer to you, so I could reach out a hand to be of greater practical help. Thank you again to those from this community who have done so in the stead of those who cannot.
May peace rest upon you, and comfort come in the midst of the unavoidable grief. May you feel the prayers of other lifting you up. You have been in my earnest prayers and will continue to be. |
Hi everyone - Yesterday was a very restful day. Our daughter and I had some nice quiet time with Pat. But by evening the stomach tube was not draining and causing more discomfort. So we are leaving for the hospital soon to have x-rays taken. We have other family members that will be arriving soon. So until later - keep looking up. Barb |
Clearly these are hard days for us all. As I check for news four or five times a day, I realize we are all at a lose for words as we await Past's inevitable death. I have spent so much time with this topic in my life that I feel it might be my place to comment.
Barb, I know from my wife Julie how hard it is to wait for some new chapter of a sick spouse's life. Yours is harder in that you can not pray for health, but only comfort for Pat. My heart aches for you, and I know you are living an amazing experience. I can not however know how you actually feel, and so I feel sad in that I lack the words.
Pat, you continue to inspire. Your strength reminded me of a very dear friend who died many years ago from cancer, and he too was a source of amazement to me. The day before he died at home I was with him for a few hours. He continued to be upbeat and strong despite the pain associated with the cancer that had spread to his bones and digestive system. He had a license plate "Atit2d" or attitude. What a great example of faith he was, and yes you too have achieved his stature.
Your a great leader for us, and I pray for a quick end to this long journey you have walked. I have also learned Barb is a lot like Julie, both of these amazing women have a strength beyond words, and are the support you and I lean on.
I pray that you both receive an ease to your pain soon. This is so hard to me, I can not even imagine...
God speed my friend, I love you.
JD |
Hi everyone - It is a rainy evening here and this day is about over. The nurse just left and the house is silent.
Pat is finally resting now after a couple of shots in the butt. He leaves his glasses on his nose though in case he decides to open his eyes and look at the TV (don't tell him but I turned it off!) I am warming up the tubes because tonight the music will play instead.
The x-rays showed that the gastric tube is fine. I believe that there is not much fluid left to drain. So until tomorrow - keep looking up. Reporting from Pat's computer.
Barb |
Pat ,Im so glad that you are recieving some comfort,rest,and plenty of love(and rootbeer)!All my love , prayers and thoughts are with you,Barb and you gene pool,Ray |
Barb,
Gina sure loved speaking with you on the phone the other night. And she can't wait to meet you.
You and Pat seem to make your way into many of our conversations. I miss you both already!
Howard |
I am struck by something rather poignant. I very seldom post on this site anymore and it is largely due to this thread. The undaunted spirit of my fellow Irishman, Pat, has helped me to place the more important things of life in their proper perspective. Taking the time to savor the moment, counting blessings, and making sure that those with whose love I am blessed know that they are appreciated, appropriately takes more of my time these days. However, while giving Gregg Allman’s “Laid Back” a spin (a shared favorite), my thoughts inexorably turned toward Pat and the many things he has meant to and done for us all - I was so moved to visit this thread once again.
Barb and Pat, may your journey be smoothed by the gentle road of our thoughts for you and may G-d hold your love in His hand forever. |
I'm very relieved to hear Pat didn't get 'stuck' in the hospital and is back at home. (You never know, when you go into that building at this stage of the game.) Man oh man!...That immediate situation - a burst of activity in semi-crisis mode merely confirming the simplest explanation ("...not much fluid left to drain") for something that couldn't have even been a 'problem' just days earlier - brings right back some of those typical recollections for me. I'm glad more family is arriving and hope they can share the burden a bit (of anything - keeping house, cooking, running errands, fielding phonecalls, even posting here) so you get yourself a little rest too Barb. Thanks for all the updates, we're with you in spirit every step of the way. |
Anybody relate to this? My wife, whether walking into the kitchen in the 'morn, watching me hitting the keys, or maybe it be nighttime, just taking a gander at me staring at my laptop screen. Do you know what she, now, often asks? How's Lugnut? Blows my mind. I read her some of the newest posts. She is floored by the emotion, honesty, identification, cream rising to the top mentality, of a bunch of audiophools experiencing in real time the death of a friend on a website for audionuts. I revel in the spirit of what is happening here and may never experience anything like this again. We're apart of a wonderful thing guys. I'm proud to be amongst you audiophools. Pat, you're a power and I hope when my time comes, I take some of what I have learned from you with me. Remember to save me a listening chair. If it is not too much to ask; I prefer soft brown leather with a matching ottoman. I know it won't take you long to get well connected to the audiophools that are already up there. thanks buddy...peace my friend, warren |
I seem to have been led to make this post of a bible verse, which brings hope to a difficult situation.
(John 14:2-3): "In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also."
I think we all hope to be there some day, even though the transition is so difficult. If we believe, there is not death, but everlasting life, in the place that was always intended for us from the beginning of time. I try to think of it, not as death, but as a new birth. |
TWL- Well said. And Warren- my wife gets frequent updates from me on Lugnut too. I think it's just natural- sharing something that moves you deeply with those you love.
God Speed Pat. |
.
Barb,
.
It was good speaking with you last night, as always. I have been so moved with how you have cared for Pat and flowed through such a difficult time.
.
Your selflessness is rather stunning. Know that we will all still be here for you long into the future and please count on us for any way that we might be helpful.
.
Talk to you soon.
.
Love,
Larry
. |
This must be my lucky day! I got to spend a minute on the phone with the Ol' Lugnut himself. He sounded chipper. The tube is letting him take in some fluids, and help to hydrate that parched body of his.
Friends and family are on their way to spend some time. I certainly hope everyone has a good time at Casa Malone for the next number of days.
Barb still brings Pat into the computer room so he can keep up with this thread, so if you have words of encouragement please keep them coming.
Thanks to those who shared their concern about my dad. I was touched by your kindness.
TWL, I certainly enjoyed the thought of a new and better home - thank you! |
Thank you Barb for taking time to speak with me on the phone and special thanks to Pat for struggling to reach the phone and give me the soft, attentive "Well hello Albert" I longed to hear.
His voice was so soft and frail it brought me to tears, as I've said many times before, I just feel worthless. I'm the kind of guy that is never afraid of any task before me, old school roll up my sleeves and DO IT.
Well, Pat puts me to shame, I can't do for him what I would like and he faces a situation that I cannot really grasp. He is lucky to have the love of Barb and his daughter and I can only dream of having Pat's strength, dignity, class and compassion when my time runs out.
Bless all you Audiogon guys and girls for showing the best side of humanity and love. It's our love of music that brings us together but it now is obvious there is also something deeper in hearts that bind us together. I am proud of Pat for showing us the way. |
Hello Pat, it's good to be thinking of you and yours. It's a beautiful day. Glad you're here to share it. |
A wonderful Indian summer day here in southern New England. Sunny, warm (70) when it usually is 50 and cloudy, often with rain. Just checking in, Pat and Barb to let you know I am thinking of you. Best wishes, of course. |
|
Hi Pat and Barb
Its warm up in here in Calgary. No rain and I'm listening to some tunes with the dog and kids restig. Hope things are going well today. You know to give a shout if problems. Take care
Gary |
My lucky day as well, as I spoke with Barb & Pat this morning. What a gift! Thank you both, and please give our best to your daughter, Amanda.
Howard & Gina |
A long time ago, you wrote that it was time to admit that you are part dog. You mentioned fleas, but my dog never gave me fleas. Only my friend's brother home from Africa and the Peace Corps (remember them?). So I lived for months with these monster African fleas. Thank God they never rose above my ankles, which I do not understand because I rarely sleep standing, wittnesses to the contrary.
And you mentioned dog toys. My dog has never acknowledged a toy. Her pal comes over and I am forced (via special dog guilt) to throw his ball (brings his own) and sticks until he colapses for a minute or so. And she just looks at him as if " You big dumb galoot. " And when I give up she pokes him with her nose, which he does not at all get. But she has no notion of toy.
And if her water dish is empty she tips it upside down with her paw. Failing that, she noses it noisily untill you catch on.
But music! Now that is another matter! Because I live on a terrible slope (in several respects), I have four flights of stairs. The room with my stereo is on the bottom. My dog prefers the sunny top. I need only depress the power button and you hear the clatter of nails as she bounds across the wooden floor, crashing into the wall because she cannot turn the corner when running on wood, correcting course to the stairs and at my feet before you can say Sergei Vassilievich Rachmaninov. She yips and runs in circles until I put on the record. Soon as the tip hits the vinyl, she settles down exactly between the speakers. After four years, I got her another bed, so she echoes my couch. When the inner loop is reached, she is up and resumes yipping. The VPI 17F makes her howl, though.
My daughter was just home from college, and was looking at the dog bounce the cabinet door with her nose repeatedly. She said, "Dad, have you not been playing records lately?" Well, my turntable was out getting a new arm. So she said, "Come girl" and went into her room to play her set. She has an old decal of Nipper across the back of a wooden chair, about the size of a dinner plate.
So it seems that as you claim to be part dog, I claim my dog is part you. You ended by questioning your bravery. Acceptance is bravery. Dogs know this. Not the acceptance of bad government or other ill treatment. Not surrender or fatalism, but acceptance that you have bravely allowed us to see at great length in great detail. You help me through my trials. You will never know how many you turn from cowardice as the alternative to acceptance.
And the redoubtable Frumkin ain't no slouch neither. This frayed thread goes back to your page 2. |
Pat,
I've not posted to this thread before but have followed it closely since its beginning. You are an amazing man, and I am in awe of how you have handled such a difficult ordeal with grace, candor and bravery. To watch these "audiophools" gather round and support you has also been an inspiration....
I just want you to know that because of this thread, I was able to locate a friend who I had lost contact with many years ago. Not intentionally, but I allowed life to get in the way. It took a while to connect the dots and realize that this individual was the same person I knew in the late '70s through a local high-end audio store in the Dallas area. I'll be seeing albertporter this next Tuesday evening for the first time in 25 years. Without this thread, I may not have ever connected the dots...
Pat, as many have said, you truly are an inspiration. From the way you live your life to the way you have embraced this particular passage, you remind us that each day is to be lived to the fullest and every possible moment cherished. I thank you for this brilliant example. Barb is a wonderful woman and has also shown each of us how to be there for another individual...during good times as well as challenging ones. Although you and I will never meet in the here and now, Pat, I know I will meet you once I pass through those Heavenly gates. In the meantime, I'll keep looking up. Prayers continue... |
Good Sunday morning everyone - Pat and I are enjoying pepsi and root beer slushies while we sit quietly together. Today he has stated that he will not be able to talk to visitors. He no longer has the energy for the one thing that he loves so much. The last two days he has been saying "so long" to everyone that he can. Yesterday he received the gift of a smoothing massage. He rested a little better last night - more laying down and less sitting up. Our daughter is now leaving for the airport to pick up family members. Please remember to look up and say thank you. Reporting from Pat's computer. Barb |
Barb, thank you once again for the update. Pat, Barb, you and your families remain foremost in my thoughts and prayers. As I sit here on this beautiful autumn afternoon, listening to some wonderful vinyl, your post has given me the motivation to shut down the music, and talk a nice long walk on this wonderful day. Be sure that you all will be in my thoughts as I go. Counting my blessings, and enjoying each and every moment.
Pat, God's speed be with you my brother, and may the he bring Barb some comfort in her hour of need.
Cheers your friend,
John |
Pat,
Sorry to hear you're so tired, perhaps the slushies will help. I miss your words here every day but I don't miss your voice - because that will always be here.
Yesterday we took Paul's mom and cousin (visiting from England) to visit Northhamton MA, a beautiful New England town with a thriving art and music community. (And several vinyl shops, woo-hoo!) There must have been a rally nearby because the streets were growling with Harley Davidsons. We couldn't always hear each other talk, but in those moments I just thought of you. (Roarin' like a Lugnut should!)
Barb,
You're doing a wonderful thing by continuing to post. I know it's good for Pat and good for us. I hope and believe it's good for you too. Your voice is one we've come to enjoy hearing. There are two of you going through this, and you both matter to us.
Thank you both for sharing these precious moments. We are here for you. If there is anything we can do, ...
Doug and Paul |
Godspeed Pat - my prayers are with you and Barb. |
Thank you Barb, I check this thread three or four times a day to see how Pat is doing. I'm happy you have another day together. Pat, I hope your comfortable, I know I would love the morphine. Every time I go into the hospital I get morphine, good stuff! It's too bad we need to be so sick, it would be a great high!
Rest well my friend. |
Pat and Barb,
Our thoughts are with you.
Best
Barry |
Pat and Barb,
A subset of the BAA in the SF Bay Area got together yesterday and reminisced about your visit here a few months ago. I'm am so glad you made the effort to come.
We spun a few flat ones in your honor. |
I'm with JD, I check this thread several times throughout the day for any news about our favorite Lugnut. We pray for you everyday. |
11/6/05
Pat and Barb,
I have just finished skimming through these threads or this thread (I'm not totally familiar with the jargon yet, though it should be easier than Jim Rome in the jungle), and I can hardly believe my eyes. Pat, when you told me that there was a "book" here, I could in no way possibly conceive of what you meant!And not knowing you except for our few exchanges of sincere love for the Lord, I felt priveliged that you accepted my solicitation to come visit yesterday. I knew right away after talking with Barb that there was a definite reason that prompted me to call you after simply seeing your card in my daytimer. I had no knowledge previously that you were under attack. But when I left you and Barb and Amanda (light of my life) yesterday I felt that i had just become a true member of a new family that seemed as though i had been a member of forever.
Through your and Barb's hardship of having to deal with the enemy, i feel as though i am being strengthened for the road ahead; God has a way of doing that! And i just want to take the time to praise God for bringing us together for however much time we have left here on earth (though i know that we'll be together again at the Big Banquet in our Abba's, Father's, Brother's, Friend's mansion, whenever that may be). I hope to see you again tomorrow; i would love to write your book. i would like to contact all of these other audiophools who have come to know and love you! And as a result of reading some of their threads in this ongoing dialogue, i would like to get to know them better as well. So what do i have to do to join the rest of your family? i would love to become a member, if for no other reason than to be joined with people of a "nondenominational" like heart such as theirs (it does seem to be one heart).
And what can I say about your wife!? What a warm, caring, and strong individual she must be! We shared some tears at the door when i was leaving but praise God; the apple doesn't fall far from the tree (though I'm not sure which one of you is which).
Until tomorrow,
jake |
Pat- I hope you are resting comfortably and enjoying some quiet time with your wife. Your love for each other shines through this most impersonal of media.
Barb- I sincerely hope that someone is taking as good care of you as you are of Pat.
I think about you both often. Best wishes and much love. |
I've been following this thread since its inception though have I've not posted since I really can't think of anything to say that has not already been said. I will say this though; this is one of the most touching threads I've ever read anywhere on the web.
May God continue you bless you both Pat and Barb. I know we have been blessed by your presence here.
Prayers and thoughts throughout the day.
|
The love of mankind is all around us now. The hug from the flower delivery gal, dinner delivered by the neighbors, cards of blessings in the mail, phone calls with prayers, and of course this ongoing thread of friendship!
Pat is very weak, his eyelids are heavy, his breathing is deep, but he never forgets to thank me with that gentle grin. He enjoys our conversation with laughter around him and still states his opinion with only one or two soft words. He is still attending to every little detail around him and he expects his nurse to tell him a joke at each visit. Now we are surrounded by the love of God. Keep looking up. Barb
John 14:2-3 |
Barb,
Though many of us have gone through similar tragedies we can't know what this feels like to you or yours.
One thing we can do is Listen. In many ways I think just listening, really listening, to someone is one of the greatest expressions of friendship. We are here to listen for as long as you need us. |
Pat & Barb my apologies as I have been without email access since Nov. 2nd as we have moved and this is the first opportunity to revisit the thread as phone & DSL was just installed again today. However prayers for you continued without interruption and will continue to do so.
God Bless you both. |
Ev'rything must change
Nothin' stays the same
Ev'ryone must change
No one stays the same
The young become the old
And my'stries do unfold
'Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no-one goes unchanged
There are not many things in life you can be sure of
Except______
Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummin' birds do fly
Winter turns to spring
A wounded heart will heal
But never much too soon
Yes,ev'rything must
There are not many things in life you can be sure of
Except ______
Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummin' birds do fly
There are not many things in life you can be sure of
Except______
Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And music makes me cry.
B. Ighner copyright
Quincy Jones- Body Heat LP
I hope this helps makes some sense of your situation. It is a beautiful song. e mail me off this thread if you would like a copy of this lp. |
Good morning Pat, Barb and all of you wonderful people that are involving your lives in this process. The best and most needed medicine is love and caring. I see a lot of it out there. Please do not get frustrated that there seems to be nothing you can do. There is so much all are doing, and it is all good. You are all a gift.
Pat, I hope your day is peaceful. That your music is beautiful. And that love abounds and fills your house.
dav |
I spoke with Barb last night and today. We weren't sure if Pat would see today, but he's still on this side, with us. Pat is in a great deal of discomfort, and he's too weak to take phone calls. This obviously is a difficult time for Pat, Barb, Amanda and other members of his family ... and for us as well, with whom Pat has bravely shared his story, and who have cheered his every triumph and held our breaths at news of every downturn.
I will have more to say at another time, but please know that you all have meant the world to Pat. Please join me in praying for Pat's comfortable journey, and for the family's healing.
Warmest regards,
Paul |
Thank you for the update, Paul. Pat, Barb & Amanda are in our thoughts all hours of the day, and night.
Love,
Gina & Howard |
I am and have been praying for a comfortable transition to Pats next (real) life.
It brings up a lot of sorrow to read about his discomfort, and to consider the sadness that Barb and Amanda will experience. If only there were a way to easy the pain of others... |
Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak Whispers the o're-fraught heart, and bids it break.
--William Shakespeare The Tragedy of Macbeth, IV, iii
Thanks for the update Paul - in this age - anyone who doubts that anonymous humanity exists need look no farther than this thread. |
.
Pat & Barb,
.
You are continually in my thoughts and prayers.
.
Love,
Larry
. |
Pat,
Fair winds and seas to follow |
Pat and Barb,
You are in my prayers. May God bless you and watch over you.
- jeff |
