Girlfriends and wifes, how do YOU cope?

That's easy. Let the wives buy what they want, and they are less likely to bother you when you buy what you want.

Girlfriends have no say. If they do, find another.

If the wives complain find a girlfriend.

Wow, Detlof immortalizes my post. Thanks!
It shocks me to read the "ten years" comment and realize it is fact.

God, I feel old.

My wife enjoys music as much as I do. When I told her Iwanted to check out Acuphase she asked "but we're going to keep the Rogue too right?" Life is good.

My wife used to ask me "When are you going to be finished buying and selling .. and when are you going to get rid of all those darn boxes?"

As I upgraded, the complaints were replaced by spontaneous dancing and comments like "good" when she came up to visit me in my listening room.

Finally, my wife started complaining that the speakers at her exercise dance class were so bad she didn't want to go to dance class anymore.

My recommendation ... keep upgrading.

When my wife and I frequent antique shops/malls, she will let me know where there are any LP's that I may have missed. Also, she will unplug my system when thunderstorms are in the area if I'm away. She knows how much it means to me, and supports me, as long as I don't want to spend too much money. I really have to verify the need to spend big bucks.

I'm one of those rare mythical creatures-the audiophile wife.

I love all the equipment and was into audio long before I met my husband.

I do miss being able to have my couch in the living room, though instead of in the garage because there isn't room for it.:)

Carolyn

I manage it by having separate finances that we don't have to justify to each other. We have the shared accounts, where bills are paid from, and groceries, and other shared expenses.

But then we also have our own accounts that we do as we please. If she buys some $500 shoes, I don't care - it's her money. If I buy expensive hi-fi equipment, she doesn't care, it's my money.

Purchases that come from the shared checking or savings accounts require us both to agree and approve of the purchase before hand. But purchases from our own separate accounts are purely our own.

Do your marriage a favor and take control of the finances - have joint accounts for joint expenses and separate accounts for individual expenses.

I'm glad I'm single! ;)

Upon seeing the fiberglass absorption panels I'd just brought into the living room (with wife approval), my best friend said, "You know, marrying her has only given you a higher pole on which to fly your freak flag."

Spend half the budget on jewelry or equivalent for the lady and buy used with the remainder.

In my case, audio is my main hobby that costs $$$s, and I treat my wife right, so she does not mind when I indulge on occasion.

The system MUST play HEAVY METAL! Well!

Especially in the car so I can p*** off all those trunk rattling gangster wannabe's in traffic with real music.

Yours truly,
Via my wife


Andrew
Synesthesia Studios

It's your money. If she complains, buy something else to go with your first purchase. Just be sure you know how to manage money...or it'll manage you.

Man cave setup so she doesn't care. I buy vintage classics that don't cost too much. I don't get needing to spend fortunes on high mark up gear. My rig sounds great for a lot less dough than most.

We have a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" arrangement. The stereo rig is in the man cave, which can only be accessed from the outside - so she rarely sees it (her choice, not mine!). I keep a separate slush fund for business expenses, gifts - and the occasional purchase. Meanwhile, these last two years she's spent quite a bit more on her "stuff" than I typically do on mine - so there's balance of a sort. Finally, a bit o' lovin' is important. Sure, I buy little gifts for myself, but I buy gifts for her too. Thoughtful, spontaneous gifts count for a lot.

The usual complaint was "aren't you done buying stuff?"!!! Until both our dear mothers died and left us some monies . NOW... She has her inheritance pot and I have mine. The complaints essentially stopped. The rebuttal to any complaints is..."am I asking you how you send your inheritance"?
After working and slaving for 35 years to raise three kids through grad schools, it is now my turn to savor one of my passions. It's true. You can't take it with you..

My approach is very simple - in good years, spend on turntables, which dont depreciate. In bad years, sell them off and recycle the money. You dont have to ask the wife. You can also pitch this creatively "Honey, I just saved us $1000. Guess what - how do you think bought the new DAC? Easy...I just sold off a cartridge (don't tell her that such a small item cost $1000)."

At the moment my wife is coping very well with my audio hobby since Sandy took away my listening room. All my gear is boxed up in a spare bedroom and I'm stuck with 100's of channels of crap on the TV to choose from!
I'm living in Reality(?) TV HELL! Arrrrrrrgh!

Simple, divorce.

Divorce is not simple...

It was simple for me....I guess I was lucky.

Get a dog. My wife wants me to get a solid state integrated so we can leave it on for the dog while we're at work. She wants to keep the tubes as well. I'm going to listen to a slightly used Marantz 11s2 tomorrow afternoon on behalf of my dog Oscar.

I'm going to listen to a slightly used Marantz 11s2 tomorrow afternoon on behalf of my dog Oscar.

You should refer to the Marantz as the Oscar Award.

lol!!!!! Good call Albert. Whatever we end up with will be referred to as the Oscar Award. The Marantz didn't do it for me although I loved the fit and finish. My favorite by a huge margin is the Hegel H200 which I find to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I might have to refer to it as the Ugly Oscar Award.

Our deal is simple, I do not use the family money for this hobby. I will buy,sell, barter, or whatever to fund this hobby. Last year I bought out a complete house of Audio Design Associates gear. It took me a while to sell but I bought a Conrad Johnson Classic 2SE preamp brand new (with the help of my pre as a trade) a pair of Revel M106 monitors and a YBA headphone/dac with the profit. Plus I gave my wife $500 of that cash to spend on herself...

Then I sold the gear I was no longer using and with that money I bought a NAD M51 DAC plus had $300 left over.

So with my initial investment of $1k , minus the $500 I really was only $200 out of pocket after an awesome upgrade.

The other way I cope is I got smart and put the 52" TV in our front family room......good way to get your listening room back. No one wanted to watch TV in our den on a 32" 720p TV.....I must say it was brilliant !!!! After the family was conditioned and had acclimated to their new hangout I picked up a 47" LED, which by the was does not count as an audio expenditure .....

Only one way to, never take up with any women who gives you serious grief on ANY subject, in the end she'll give it to you on EVERY subject.

This requires you never lie to yourself, the worst about lying is that you will belive your own BS in short order.

Just purchased an lp for $31. Had to borrow a 20 from my wife. She then asked the price I paid. As we were leaving she pointed out a store she wanted to stop at just up the road. We left after she bought $72 worth of patterns and yarn. See how that works???!!!

I've posted more than a few times on this thread. My wife LOVES listening to music. Ever since I've known her. Some nights when i come home from the office late, i can hear the Cassandra Wilson (or whoever) when im pulling up the driveway. She might be catching up on personal email, cooking or cleaning. Maybe laundry. The important thing is she's doing what she enjoys. When I drive her car, i might start it and hear Anthony Carlos Jobim, Annie Lennox, 9 Inch Nails, Pearl Jam or The Be Good Tanyas. Maybe even Daniel Lanois (anybody?)

We have 3 boys, the youngest just turned 20. They all love music. I've passed along my old gear to them and they've taken on the interest. They play music on a daily basis and one of them even assembles his own tube headphone amps with the soldering iron we gave to him as a gift.

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that I was in this hobby since I was a 12 year old. I had a turntable, cassette deck, receiver and speakers. I'm in no way an audiophile. Most of you would consider my gear mid fi.

One of the things that attracted me to my wife was her appreciation of music. If you're young and single, remember this. There's no such thing as WAF in my household. Never has been, never will be. This is our hobby. We both work hard for our money. We audition together and make purchasing decisions together. I don't place an order without my wife nor do I consider new gear without her. Once it's in place, we sit down and discuss the order of operation and from that point forward, it's hers to use, and use it she does. We don't talk about it in terms of hifi. It's only ever "what are you in the mood for?" which is your choice of genre.

Hear the music people. Just don't listen too it.

Hey Donjr. That is some great stuff. Your wife feels the connection you both have and it's not just your hobby. I have NO doubt most wives and girlfriends find the interest in the assembling the top flight system that we 'audiofools' have is quite offensive to them. Before I married my wife, we both loved listening to music and discovering new things we liked. Now, she suggested for me to build my own room in the basement so those big speakers aren't in the family room. I did, and assembled a remarkably wonderful system, but she has only been down to listen to it with me once in 5 years. I think wives (girlfriends) would like to listen more if we, the fools had our priorities right. The buying decisions as a pair puts ownership and partnership high on the scale as a couple with the 'stuff' as entirely secondary. I've got to do MUCH BETTER. You're not only a lucky man, your wife's got to feel much love instead of competing with your interests. Man, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Phil. Serious congratulations on doing your marriage and your interests the right way. Thank you for the wake up call--I'm sure I can turn things around with some effort on my part. Being with your love and music go so nice together--they both make you feel so good.

I guess I'm lucky. My wife has as good a pair of ears as I do. and she wants her Miles Davis records to sound as good as they possibly can.
The other day, she said to be, "Honey, I think you need some tube traps."
And I fell in love all over again.
To be fair to LGBT community--as well as wives and girlfriends , the question should be,"Partners, how do YOU cope?"

Yes Dorkwad, it's pretty sweet. Occasionally she might not be in the mood for music so I have a Schiit Lyr headphone amp that serves me well although it rarely gets used.

It really helps that we enjoy the same music. It wasn't always that way though. I was always the rock n roll guy. She's actually the one who introduced me to good jazz and classical. I owe her big time because the experience has been great and has stood the test of time.

Now that the weather is turning we'll spend a lot of time listening to music and cooking. This also seems to be the time of year when we order a lot of new music. Good times for sure.

I hope you can find a way to spark the interest and get your wife down stairs for some good music. Maybe let her pick out the music. Make it a date night. Plan it out in advance and make it special. Women love that.

Thanks Donjr. I need all the help I can get. Hope it eventually works. You'd think she'd get tired of watching TV.

I was thinking that if you were with the "right" girl for you ,this all wouldn't be a problem but a shared "sound" relationship.

When recently discussing a rather expensive hifi purchase with my wife, she said, "what are you waiting for? Won't you be losing your hearing soon?" (i'm 53).

I'm coping very well today on my birthday. My wife bought me a Nordost Red Dawn LS XLR cable as a gift. I just plugged her in, now it's off to breakfast and then come home for some music. My best pal Bob from the Analog Shop in Victor NY even wrapped it for her. It's good to have a great brick and mortar down the road and a wife who likes to keep her man happy after all these years. I'm actually starting to wonder how SHE copes.

My birthday is next week. I got a pair of Sennheiser momentum headphones. Very nice!

Congratulations Audiowoman. That's a great gift.

Any purchase price should automatically be doubled to account for what you have to by your partner to "keep it even".

Nobody even gets near my stereo unless I let them. Don't like the system "I" paid for? Leave the State. It's not worth a nice guy like me being indited on first degree murder charges. There now, that was easy. Happy listening.

Dongr, your wife gave you a present beyond all price !
Must be a fine woman .

The critical factor is the nature of the relationship. Perhaps that is an obvious statement but somehow I don't think so.

Fortunately my wife and I don't view one another as "adversaries" in any way. We want the best for each of us, hence for the marriage. We never feel we have to "level the playing field." 50-50 is an idealized goal at best and impossible to measure.

Unless an expenditure, whether it be audio or something else of a discretionary nature, takes food off the table, it's not a problem.

A major plus is she loves music as much as I do, AND, her ears are better than mine. :)

Polk432

I have a similar approach to yours:

"Nobody even gets near my stereo unless I let them."

Scott, VERY wise words ! Its like a team of horses, if both aren't pulling in same direction nobody is going anywhere.

That said, a good woman, that rare and most precious of things, will do all that just to please you and you'll never know the difference.Good luck in finding one.

Most people, male or female, will tell you who/what they are often with a laugh. When they do, BELIEVE them.If they don't run, something is being hidden.

My wife would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than most king crimson. Still working on that one....

On the flip side she took right to the moody blues when we met. That might have been a deal breaker. 😿

Never put girlfriend and wife in the same listening room.

My ex never could grasp how to turn on my system, even when I provided a simple one page summary of which 8 switches to use, and the correct order to do it in. But I was lucky.

My wife told me that if I bought one more piece of audio equipment, she would leave me. That was 15 years ago. I still kind of miss her.

Oregonpapa, that is incredibly funny!