I would be very interested in finding out how one manages to justify (or sneak in the home) expensive audio equipment without having to sell your soul to the Devil? It's quite a challenge for many of us I think. I heard of someone buying a Bel Canto DAC and telling his girlfriend that " Oh it's just a $ 100.00 power conditionner", or whatever. Seem like we need to get creative here if we can pursue this crazy hobby much longer! Regards All...
I am just wondering if anyone has a wife or girlfriend who does not mind much. They might not be an audiophile but perhaps they enjoy the end result of some of the purchases and projects.
I would not say my wife minds too much, but I wouldn't say that she enjoys it either. If pushed, she will admit that my system sounds better than her radio, however, it's not nearly worth the price paid in her opinion. She thinks spending mega-K's on an audio system that sounds slightly better than a $200 boombox is just ridiculous......I can't really say that she is wrong. We have bigger disagreements with musical tastes....she's not fond of mine, and I feel the same way about hers.
I know folks who spend millions of dollars on cars, boats, travel, etc, which never made sense to me, so I can understand how one does not comprehend how someone can spend seemingly excessive money on an obssession. There are many obssessions out there that claim a lot of money, audio gear, home theater, cars, boats, women, golf, travel, etc, etc. Each individual person has different values of what they are willing to spend on one specific obsession. Some are fortunate enough to be able to spend excessively on ALL obssessions in life......sigh.
Effusive apologies for the tardy reply. My spouse and I enjoyed RMAF, immensely! We found gregarious people and delicious sound. By-the-bye, one of our favorite rooms, YG Acoustics/FM Acoustics (main floor) features a product line you carry. As well, I noticed an installation on your website highlighting DALI MegaLine speakers, which just happen to be present at our home awaiting set-up.
I'm given to understand attendance was elevated compared to last year. New products that intrigued us were shown by Win Analog (monoblocks and preamp). I'd really love to hear that gear on MegaLines.
My girlfriend is very understanding since it is my business to have all of the vintage gear in my house, I own a vintage audio website, so she is ok with it, I have also got her into the whole GREAT sounding audio thing by including her when I go and look for stuff sometimes. And she can appreciate great sound as much as I can...Don
In short, I include her. We talked about the $$ other people spend on hobbies, and audio is one thing that both of us can enjoy over a long period of time. I have invited her to help audition equipment w/me, making a dinner date out of it. I always play some music she likes and, after an upgrade or change, make sure she's experiences the sweet spot so she can actually hear what I'm talking about. I am truly blessed. My wife of 20+ years actually gave up the living room so I could effectively turn it into the music room... and we're talking Tympani 4's in a not-so-large area. Plus she could sleep thru a train wreck, so no issue on the volume! TOm G
This is the funniest thread I have ever read. I will read through this more for sure, ha... Well let me put my thoughts and experiences in it. My dad taught me a long time ago that when dealing with a woman, It's always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. So I've been practicing that for some time now.
-So I buy my audio gear all with cash money and its money she knows nothing of in the first place most of the time. -Yes I've to waited till dark and go sneaking down the back to the basement where my audio system is to bring in new stuff. -Yes I've rushed home to get here before her to bring it in a frenzied hurry and trying to get it down stairs as quickly as possible. -Yes I've changed out equipment in similar lines and it has gone un-noticed. -Yes I had over $10k worth of Nos tubes that she thought was just cheap like a light bulb. -Yes I had power cords and cables that if I told her she could do with them what she will, she most likely would've took them to the salvage yard and sold them for the copper value, ha... She didn't know they were thousands of $$$ worth of cords. -I've done all of this and got away with it until recently when I decided I had to sell off an entire $80k system and replace it with something better and more expensive. She then see's all the checks and money orders coming in for tubes and power cords and cables and stuff and she said oh gees' how much money have you spent on all this stuff and how much is the new one and all. She is cool with it because its not like I'm taking her money and all but she really still don't know what I spent or where the $$ come from. ---The important thing is she really loves the new system much better than she did the old one so I think she has cut me some slack there. I find her going down there much more now just to sit and listen, she never did that before.
Thanks C1ferrari, it is just very funny to read all this stuff. I love the one that said my girl friend don't complain about it much but my wife moans about it. ha... I just think this thread is great...
Well since I AM the wife and we both love great music, there is no problems. I even got my hubby into some online gaming, and I am the one that bought us the PS3. When it comes to audio we both want the best we can get, and we are both ok stretching for it :) I really feel bad for guys with this passion that have to deal with the WAF..
Its simple. Giver her vague responses and distracting remarks. Just dont go into debt and you should be able to make it work. Also remember she may need some toys at some point to. After you buy your new cables.
I am blessed. My wife says nothing when the music is being played at a high volume.She,s not into music at all, but is tiered of hearing Eric Clapton&Phil Collins.The detail in the music, cannot be denied and she puts up with it.It helped that I quit spending money on equipment.Good listening
I got my first set of serious equipment while she was in her home country visiting family. When asked, I just explained how "cheap' it all was, knowing myself that I was speaking in relative terms. She accepted it pretty well because it all sounded so great, although in her mind it hampered her ability to use closet space. I later explained my new CD player away based on it having originated in my ancestral country. She raised eyebrows, but accepted it fine once she heard how wonderful everything sounds through it. A long time later I showed-up with a second set of speakers. This time wasn't so easy. I explained that, because of my hearing loss on one side, I needed 4 speakers so that I can always hear everything even when I turn my head. She pretended to accept that. The new cables were fine until she tripped over them. If I was able to stop talking about speakers all the time, especially just before sleeping, she might have been more accepting about my third set that I put in another room. That lead to threats and things got rough for a while. It seemed logical for me to justify the new amp to match the new speakers, but less so to her. The DAC needed to play flac files from my Mac into the new amp didn't go over too well, even after all my explanations about vintage amps and ultra-high-tech DACs and stuff. She loves to tell me it sounds awful while trying to get me to sign divorce papers. To patch things up, I invited her to come with me to the shop to listen to main speakers to match the "small" ones I put in the other room. That didn't go over so well. I think the shop has hired new security to fend her off. The second set of speakers in the other room have left her no place to hang clothes, which has given me a good excuse to raise the issue of moving to a bigger house. After all, the new speakers are surely too big for this room, so therefore I need a bigger room. When tubes arrive from America and she needs to sign for them, it takes some real effort to patch things up. I took her to a great restaurant and she was happy at first, until she noticed it was just behind the stereo shop. When I tried to explain that I just needed a short piece of optical cabling for the DAC, that was it: threats of divorce turned to weapons being waved. I promised her I'd stop being an audio freak immediately, and I stuck to it, except for the pair of speakers that I swapped a few days later for my second listening room. They looked almost identical, so I figured she would never find out they were twice the price, even if she noticed they were there. The first 3 seconds of sound, and she was storming into the room, wielding a samurai sword. Life goes on...
Stay out of debt, always make sure you have more money than her (so you can stick it to her how much more responsible you are than her) and keep seperate bank accounts. Then go out and buy what ever the hell you want. Remember to hide your gold. Happy listening.
Divorce worked for me. A symptom of other issues I am sure, however listening to music at all in the living area would induce territorial marking by my wife and step daughter until they would run you one way or another. Sureal experincing two people morhp into the same self-centered characters as those on the crap reality TV they watched constantly. ( literally multiple repeat episodes of OC houswives etc.) I know I am being a bit of a downer to some. But hey its 4th of July, and I am free at last!! Do they have TV limit clauses in prenuptial agreements?
Why won't this thread go away? What about all the women and gay audiophiles, what about their spouses, boyfriends,etc... The hobby needs to get out of this boys club mentality.
Loss of interest, energy...save it. Read "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar printed by Pinter and Martin for a real education. Flunky woman libers and other "entitlement type" women hate the book so "deeply", you know it's great. It's extremely candid by a very, very candid woman. Otherwise, the absolute safety of a vasectomy and the decision to be married tends to rule the game.
Unless I have kids to raise and I'm providing the ideal nuclear home environment, typically, I'm way, way happiest as a bachelor. Girlfriends? Always be doing something special together. Bust your nuts along with her bra straps laughing out loud together anytime you get the chance. Share many unique, special moments together - mostly funny.
I don't I have wife or girlfriend to contend with. However, I do have family and friends. I have learned to cope by not talking much about this hobby of ours. I kinda downplay the whole system.
This used to not be the case. Initially, when after a long absence, I started to return to this hobby my family and friends were supportive, i.e. "Oh he found a hobby. That's good. He works too much."
It started with an Ipod. The darn thing really fascinated me and gave me perspective on how it changed the world. So then I decided to replace my 19 or 20", 30+ year old Toshiba, CRT as my primary TV. I bought a Samsung 32" HDTV.
Then someone told me that I could run the TV sound through my receiver into my stereo speakers. BTW. My "receiver" was a 30+ year old Sansui stereo receiver that only had 1 channel working. So I hooked up one speaker to the A channel on one to the B channel and would select the A or B channel depending on where I was in the house when playing music.
We tried the hook-up of the TV to the receiver to see how it sounded coming through the stereo speakers rather than the TV. It sounded like s------t. But now I was really curious so I decided to bite the bullet and replace (finally) the receiver.
Long story short, in about 3.5 years I went from a 30+ year old receiver with one stereo channel working and a 15 to 20-year old Yamaha CD player and a similar-aged Yamaha dual cassette deck...
To an Ipod. To a Samsung 32"HDTV. To a Denon AVR 3808-CI, to a new Denon DM 2910 CD player, to a 5.1 channel surround system driven by Vienna Acoustics speakers--4 Mozart Grands (full range) and a Maestro center channel, a JL Audio fathom f112, a Pioneer KURO Elite flat panel and a few components I probably forgot about.
Oh and I also resurrected from the dead a 30+ year old Sansui Direct Drive turntable, then I put a Pickering cartridge on it and now am running a Denon DL-160 on it and then I added an EAR phono stage. And then I brought my old record collection into the living room +/- 500 records from storage. And there are still probably a couple of components I have forgotten about, not including the fact that I am still using the 20+ year old Yamaha gear (I had a bunch of cassettes also in storage).
As I said, when I first started down this path my family was supportive. We used to talk about equipment, go to stores together, demo my new purchases. We all enjoyed it.
But as I moved beyond the entry level, type product at the Best Buy and Circuit City and Fry's level, they started to think that maybe I had gone off the deep end. As an example. One time I was searching the 'Gon for turntables. A friend was over and I had him look at some of the turntables with me to get his $0.02 worth. Well, his $0.02 worth was, "Wow. That costs $900! That costs $1,200!! For a turntable?" The next day or so I saw another friend and he had this concerned look. Like he was thinking that I needed an "intervention". He says, "So I hear you're looking for a turntable. You know. You can get a really good turntable at Best Buy for about $200."
At some point our views had diverged. To a certain degree. My family and friends had started wondering if I was crazy. They saw me wasting money needlessly on items that could have or should have just been bought at Best Buy for a less than $1K.
My view was hey, 1) it's my $$$, 2) I work my ass off, 3) it's a hobby, 4) in these days and times and in this economy it helps relax me. They don't get the emotional connection I have to the music and movies or the peace and sense of calm this hobby provides. I enjoy it. And hey, isn't 3.5 years to assemble the system I have a long time? At least compared to some of you guys it must be.
Anyway so now I kinda just keep my mouth shut.
The last thing I did related to this hobby that no one thought was crazy was I had a BBQ for a bunch of audiophile/videophile people that I know. About 20 like-minded dealers and hobbyists showed up. One gentleman even drove from out-of-state to attend. That was fun too.
Iv'e never been questioned over an audio purchase . We each have are own passions . The better half , or is it two thirds , has two high end cars in the garage , I have a ten year old Grand Cherokee in the drive way .
She found me this way and I'm not a permission seeking type, nor one to really explain/justify. I'll boast about good deals, but she's very much in the dark.
One strategy thats worked well was taking away her credit card and getting her a card under my amex. She gets to tease about it to her friends how she charges everything to my card, but when it comes down to significant purchases, she seeks my permission.
I on the other hand monitor everything she buys, get veto rights on her purchases and answer to no one as to my purchases.
Hello. This is Mrs. Noble100 and I just have one question: Is it true that all Audiogon members pimp out their wives/girlfriends to fund their audio habit like my husband tells me? My girlfriends say no way but a woman on this forum named Elizabeth said it's definitely true and that she "dun in" and buried her husband for doing this. Confused in What's That Smell, Louisiana.
Hello Mrs. N . This is Mrs. Tmsorosk, ( Missell ) . Maybe we should start posting here to give things a womans prospective . The old spud says every ones welcome . He often buys new things that resembles the old so it's hard for me to locate . If i'm seeking out an unauthorized purchase I usually check for styrafoam popcorn stuck to the side of the broom or vacuum . Best of luck with your audiophile you'll need it . Missell De'champlain
This is Mrs. Noble100. You must be the guy that started all this by parading around in nothing but a speedo and rollerblades. I seriously suggest you read my husband's (Noble100)last post on the "Where does your user name come from" to learn about all the trouble you caused today. You almost got my husband killed over that disgusting speedo. The FBI and all the news crews just left our house, finally, and my husband just told me the whole sordid story about you and your speedo. The last I heard, the FBI said Obama was having NASA shoot that nasty thing into space. I agree with my husband, you should lay off the Wild Turkey and start wearing normal pants.
Mrs. Timsorosk, Hi, this is Mrs. Noble. Funny, you call your husband a "spud" and I call mine the 'stud'. My husband keeps me quite busy, especially at night, but I would love to post as often as I can to give the feminine perspective. You keep your spud in line and I'll try to do the same with my stud. Maybe we could go shopping for expensive shoes just to even things out a bit. Or, better yet, I say we setup our own systems, money no object! Let me know. Bye
How about sneaking things out of the room which has now become my issue? After too many outbursts and threats to pour water on my rig when I am out of town, I have decided to crate things up until the dust settles. Funny thing is that if she believes that she owns the rig jointly with me, why would she contemplate such an irrational act. Button pushing perhaps but nonetheless I have gone proactive. The Tidals are now safe and sound inside the shipping crate. Anyone here have a significant other threaten to destroy gear to make a point, or worse act upon the threat?
This post, written 10 years ago, Gumbydammit did it, is so great, that I think you should read it again:
03-16-02: Gumbydammit This thread makes me chuckle, so I will pass on a little tale that might help you out. Show this one to your wives if they think you go "too far"... Upon moving into the new domicile, It was discovered that I just COULD NOT get the turntable to be free from the shabby listening room floors "bendable" nature. Even a wall mount would not work. (Next house will be a concrete dome...)
Since the listening room does not have a basement under it, I did the right thing. Well, I thought it was the right thing.
As my wife got home from a long day at work, she found my brother, a friend and I deep into a project. The living room rug was history, there was a 4'X 4' hole in what used to be the floor/subfloor and where there once was the concrete pad that the original addition was built on, now was a 4 foot round, six foot deep..hole right into the ground.
She asked if we had too many beers. (There were only two empty cases in the kitchen.) She then asked if we had finally gone off and killed the trash next door and needed a place to dump the bodies. Then she asked how she would get the concrete dust off of everything. The WORST thing however, was the aircompressor spitting oil all over the porch after it ran the jackhammer for an hour to chop out the concrete. (carpet number two)
She decided it would be best to go to her friends house untill the dust settled and the slightly intoxicated helpers were gone.
The next afternoon, with a new piece of plywood on the floor she realized that there was a 4X4, sunk 6 feet into the ground (no bodies dear), then concreted under the house.
There were no arguements about the whole affair, we both knew better. I dont tell her what furniture to buy, what dishes, art supplies, dog classes, "you want a new car honey?" Go ahead, buy that new dress, it looks nice on you. Get the PROTON clock radio dear, not the cheapie. Go for the gusto! You like that color for the siding? Okay..etc etc. The sound system and the autos are MY department. Everything else is hers.
In my living room now protudes a nicely stained 4X4 with a "home-made" plastic gasket around it. There is a cut in our carpet that "kind of" hides the interface between the floor and the 4 feet of beam sticking out of it. The concrete dust has settled and been cleaned.
The LP12 sits on its perch like a proud bird on a dock piling. We have had company over the years that have commented on the "ugly" thing next to the "ugly" seven foot tall metal rack. "What is THAT for? Don't you stay with the times? We have CD's nowadays you know..." A few have actually been seen to have goosebumps when she would proudly smile and say "yeah, but listen to this new Sting we just had imported from the UK."
As the Grado dropped in the groove, those without ears of tin understood.
But I still joke about that day she came home and handled the situation so well. It all worked out. Plus, she got new floor coverings. ;)
The day after, as we danced on our bare living room floor with zero upset to the stylus riding in the groove....she said, "I think the sound is wonderfull, but I think the cartridge is getting a bit tired. Maybe you should go get a new one."
Some of us are blessed with wives that are comfortable in their skin. Why is she going to fight me? She's doing okay in the toy department. In the long run she will spend much more on purses, clothes, accessories, hair care, perfume. shoes, fancy coffee, makeup, and fast foreign sports cars than I do on my modest high system which btw has not seen a new item since 2005 (Bryston 4B-ST). Now software (CDs and LPs) is another story... but again I think my totals will come in beneath hers. And I use cash only! Regardless, every family member has needs and wants. Some of them should be met....
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