Girlfriends and wifes, how do YOU cope?

"Girlfriends and wives, how do YOU cope?"

Audiophile rule number one: If your girlfriend complains about your audio system, do not make her your wife. 

Frank  

I talked about buying this new amp... She said something like I was free to spend my money in all the junk I wanted and would be left with nothing at the end... So I didn't say anything and ordered a streamer with the amp. Then I installed them while she was at work. Didn't say anything. after weeks I still don't know if she noticed the new stuff or if she pretends to not seeing it, but she didn't mention anything. This technique works with Stratocasters as well...

Man there are some good one,s "when she became a team player" classic.

There are many more but that one saids it all.

........by having no girlfriends &/or wives.

^^^ I have it on good authority that the angels play alto saxophones just like Charlie Parker.

Sobering to realize that many of the contributors from the first few pages of this thread have gone on to the Great Big Upgrade in the Sky.

Well, I hope it’s an upgrade, but I’ve never been there. Guess it depends on how good you were in this life.

My own wife is happy if I leave her alone to watch her favorite TV shows. And I have my wood-panelled study where I can close the door and enjoy MUSIC.

In the early days, it was a big deal if i  brought in new gear, cause a real fight. But since then she has become a real team player. As the sound became better she enjoyed and used a lot more. She does not make a fuss when i bring in a new gear as long as i can pay for it. The real problem now, is getting her to sell a kidney so i can get a new amp. I did tell her if she would do this i would put her on the A team.
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Early in 2015 I started the process of possibly upgrading the four year old monitors I had in our 13x24 living room.  As I listened to more and more speakers, it became obvious to me that I'd be happier with the floor standing speakers I'd auditioned.  So my wife & and I came to the decision that I'd move the music audio system down to our family room (kids are adults, left the nest long ago), a 26x24 room, my new "man cave".

After months of auditions I ordered a pair of floor standing speakers that would have been way too large for our living room.  But in that larger room, I "needed" more amplifier power, more sub woofer capability, etc.

Waiting for the sub woofers I ordered to arrive, I got the floor standing speakers and new electronics "dialed in" to the new room.  When the subs arrived I had all sorts of troubles getting them to sound right in the "man cave", lots of standing waves and other annoying resonances.  So I learned about bass traps and proceeded to install a half dozen or so of them.

While I was mounting the first of the bass traps my wife said that, recommending I move to the "man cave" that she "unleashed a monster".

Now that I have things the way I like, it's "all good".

My rig is in the basement. Now she can walk all over me. Ba dumb bum, tish.

My wife says very little because she know when she wants another new ring I have no argument! 

Keep 'em guessing .

My wife is very supportive of my audio addition (and two other ones). I have ongoing spousal approval by paying her a 10% "bauble tax".  It's worked out very well for both of us. 

Remember this; girlfriends like everything until they become wives, and then you wonder what happened to your girlfriend. After I got into the high end, I became a professional "untruth teller", that's the only way to cope. If you can afford it, buy it.

Enjoy the music.

Some have trouble with thick cables lying naked on a living room floor. The best rationalize a man's hobby interests as benign relative to womanizing.

Now that I've been single for many years, I seem to gain a new girlfriend from time to time. They all say the same thing upon first seeing the music system ...which at this point takes up the entire living room (of course). The say .... "Why do you do this!??" My response is always the same ... "Because I can!"

My wife told me in no uncertain terms that if I brought home one more piece of electronics she'd leave me. That was in 1999. I hardly miss her at all anymore.

I was explaining to my wife this morning, "my amps and speakers are tuned perfectly, its that house thats rattling because it needs a contractor to come tighten the house up".

I just use the same line my wife uses on me...."Look how much I saved, it was xxxx percent off!" Or, I just fund my next purchase via the sale of some existing equipment. If I really get desperate, I will research a purchase to death and when she can't take it anymore she tells me to "Just buy the stupid thing".

Oregonpapa, that is incredibly funny!

My wife told me that if I bought one more piece of audio equipment, she would leave me. That was 15 years ago. I still kind of miss her.

Never put girlfriend and wife in the same listening room.

My ex never could grasp how to turn on my system, even when I provided a simple one page summary of which 8 switches to use, and the correct order to do it in. But I was lucky.

My wife would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than most king crimson. Still working on that one....

On the flip side she took right to the moody blues when we met. That might have been a deal breaker. 😿

Scott, VERY wise words ! Its like a team of horses, if both aren't pulling in same direction nobody is going anywhere.

That said, a good woman, that rare and most precious of things, will do all that just to please you and you'll never know the difference.Good luck in finding one.

Most people, male or female, will tell you who/what they are often with a laugh. When they do, BELIEVE them.If they don't run, something is being hidden.

Polk432

I have a similar approach to yours:

"Nobody even gets near my stereo unless I let them."

The critical factor is the nature of the relationship. Perhaps that is an obvious statement but somehow I don't think so.

Fortunately my wife and I don't view one another as "adversaries" in any way. We want the best for each of us, hence for the marriage. We never feel we have to "level the playing field." 50-50 is an idealized goal at best and impossible to measure.

Unless an expenditure, whether it be audio or something else of a discretionary nature, takes food off the table, it's not a problem.

A major plus is she loves music as much as I do, AND, her ears are better than mine. :)

Dongr, your wife gave you a present beyond all price !
Must be a fine woman .

Nobody even gets near my stereo unless I let them. Don't like the system "I" paid for? Leave the State. It's not worth a nice guy like me being indited on first degree murder charges. There now, that was easy. Happy listening.

Any purchase price should automatically be doubled to account for what you have to by your partner to "keep it even".

Congratulations Audiowoman. That's a great gift.

My birthday is next week. I got a pair of Sennheiser momentum headphones. Very nice!

I'm coping very well today on my birthday. My wife bought me a Nordost Red Dawn LS XLR cable as a gift. I just plugged her in, now it's off to breakfast and then come home for some music. My best pal Bob from the Analog Shop in Victor NY even wrapped it for her. It's good to have a great brick and mortar down the road and a wife who likes to keep her man happy after all these years. I'm actually starting to wonder how SHE copes.

When recently discussing a rather expensive hifi purchase with my wife, she said, "what are you waiting for? Won't you be losing your hearing soon?" (i'm 53).

I was thinking that if you were with the "right" girl for you ,this all wouldn't be a problem but a shared "sound" relationship.

Thanks Donjr. I need all the help I can get. Hope it eventually works. You'd think she'd get tired of watching TV.

Yes Dorkwad, it's pretty sweet. Occasionally she might not be in the mood for music so I have a Schiit Lyr headphone amp that serves me well although it rarely gets used.

It really helps that we enjoy the same music. It wasn't always that way though. I was always the rock n roll guy. She's actually the one who introduced me to good jazz and classical. I owe her big time because the experience has been great and has stood the test of time.

Now that the weather is turning we'll spend a lot of time listening to music and cooking. This also seems to be the time of year when we order a lot of new music. Good times for sure.

I hope you can find a way to spark the interest and get your wife down stairs for some good music. Maybe let her pick out the music. Make it a date night. Plan it out in advance and make it special. Women love that.

I guess I'm lucky. My wife has as good a pair of ears as I do. and she wants her Miles Davis records to sound as good as they possibly can.
The other day, she said to be, "Honey, I think you need some tube traps."
And I fell in love all over again.
To be fair to LGBT community--as well as wives and girlfriends , the question should be,"Partners, how do YOU cope?"

Hey Donjr. That is some great stuff. Your wife feels the connection you both have and it's not just your hobby. I have NO doubt most wives and girlfriends find the interest in the assembling the top flight system that we 'audiofools' have is quite offensive to them. Before I married my wife, we both loved listening to music and discovering new things we liked. Now, she suggested for me to build my own room in the basement so those big speakers aren't in the family room. I did, and assembled a remarkably wonderful system, but she has only been down to listen to it with me once in 5 years. I think wives (girlfriends) would like to listen more if we, the fools had our priorities right. The buying decisions as a pair puts ownership and partnership high on the scale as a couple with the 'stuff' as entirely secondary. I've got to do MUCH BETTER. You're not only a lucky man, your wife's got to feel much love instead of competing with your interests. Man, I'm starting to sound like Dr. Phil. Serious congratulations on doing your marriage and your interests the right way. Thank you for the wake up call--I'm sure I can turn things around with some effort on my part. Being with your love and music go so nice together--they both make you feel so good.

I've posted more than a few times on this thread. My wife LOVES listening to music. Ever since I've known her. Some nights when i come home from the office late, i can hear the Cassandra Wilson (or whoever) when im pulling up the driveway. She might be catching up on personal email, cooking or cleaning. Maybe laundry. The important thing is she's doing what she enjoys. When I drive her car, i might start it and hear Anthony Carlos Jobim, Annie Lennox, 9 Inch Nails, Pearl Jam or The Be Good Tanyas. Maybe even Daniel Lanois (anybody?)

We have 3 boys, the youngest just turned 20. They all love music. I've passed along my old gear to them and they've taken on the interest. They play music on a daily basis and one of them even assembles his own tube headphone amps with the soldering iron we gave to him as a gift.

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that I was in this hobby since I was a 12 year old. I had a turntable, cassette deck, receiver and speakers. I'm in no way an audiophile. Most of you would consider my gear mid fi.

One of the things that attracted me to my wife was her appreciation of music. If you're young and single, remember this. There's no such thing as WAF in my household. Never has been, never will be. This is our hobby. We both work hard for our money. We audition together and make purchasing decisions together. I don't place an order without my wife nor do I consider new gear without her. Once it's in place, we sit down and discuss the order of operation and from that point forward, it's hers to use, and use it she does. We don't talk about it in terms of hifi. It's only ever "what are you in the mood for?" which is your choice of genre.

Hear the music people. Just don't listen too it.

Just purchased an lp for $31. Had to borrow a 20 from my wife. She then asked the price I paid. As we were leaving she pointed out a store she wanted to stop at just up the road. We left after she bought $72 worth of patterns and yarn. See how that works???!!!

Only one way to, never take up with any women who gives you serious grief on ANY subject, in the end she'll give it to you on EVERY subject.

This requires you never lie to yourself, the worst about lying is that you will belive your own BS in short order.

Our deal is simple, I do not use the family money for this hobby. I will buy,sell, barter, or whatever to fund this hobby. Last year I bought out a complete house of Audio Design Associates gear. It took me a while to sell but I bought a Conrad Johnson Classic 2SE preamp brand new (with the help of my pre as a trade) a pair of Revel M106 monitors and a YBA headphone/dac with the profit. Plus I gave my wife $500 of that cash to spend on herself...

Then I sold the gear I was no longer using and with that money I bought a NAD M51 DAC plus had $300 left over.

So with my initial investment of $1k , minus the $500 I really was only $200 out of pocket after an awesome upgrade.

The other way I cope is I got smart and put the 52" TV in our front family room......good way to get your listening room back. No one wanted to watch TV in our den on a 32" 720p TV.....I must say it was brilliant !!!! After the family was conditioned and had acclimated to their new hangout I picked up a 47" LED, which by the was does not count as an audio expenditure .....

lol!!!!! Good call Albert. Whatever we end up with will be referred to as the Oscar Award. The Marantz didn't do it for me although I loved the fit and finish. My favorite by a huge margin is the Hegel H200 which I find to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I might have to refer to it as the Ugly Oscar Award.

I'm going to listen to a slightly used Marantz 11s2 tomorrow afternoon on behalf of my dog Oscar.

You should refer to the Marantz as the Oscar Award.

Get a dog. My wife wants me to get a solid state integrated so we can leave it on for the dog while we're at work. She wants to keep the tubes as well. I'm going to listen to a slightly used Marantz 11s2 tomorrow afternoon on behalf of my dog Oscar.

It was simple for me....I guess I was lucky.

Divorce is not simple...

Simple, divorce.