I understand completely, but think about something for a minute. What do you think about all of the clothes and shoes that she probably has, or her decorating tastes, or her movie choices? It's just different ways people have and their priorities and views. The big problem is when one tries to force their way of looking at the world on to someone else, it's not their right. Relationships are supposed to be give and take. |
women don't dig procol harum or the 3 stooges either. |
I have a daughter whith a cellar and attic full of old lamps, vases, chairs, and god knows what else, which she picks up at tag sales. No audio equipment. Your urge to collect reminds me of her. Of course, I am not like that. All my things are good stuff. |
Of course, back when the Kenwood tuner you bought was made, people said the same thing about equipment that was made in the 50s and 60s - 'built when pride and sound were important factors and not these fancy transistor things, but good reliable tubes'. Plus ça change....
Most of those saying that, BTW, were male, so this is not a female thing. |
It may be that you're just too good for her. |
I was told the bathroom was filthy.
I went in, looked around, and had no clue what she was talking about.
I guess I just didn't "get it". |
I'm sorry, but in this case I don't get it either! |
I can't wait for Elizabeth to chime in |
Having walked many miles in your mocassins, let me assure you that there is more than one fish in the sea.
Please feel free to write any time for additional advice and/or associated bibliography. |
Is it that you cannot understand her different perspective, or that you chose not to accept it? Not trying to be a smart-ass, but people are free to chose which preferences they like. With education (like your description of the quality of the unit) there can come understanding and sometimes appreciation. But, don't count on her being wowed by audio.
My wife has a very benign attitude toward my passion for this hobby. That is not likely to change over time. The truth is that many women think such fawning over equipment is infantile, or at best juvenile. They also often think that newer equipment must be better, and in most cases, quality to price point being equal) it is.
However, the "female mind" effect you speak of is not universal. Both my wife and I prefer older homes, built in the '60's and prior, since we feel they have far more character and build quality than most built today. Others, men and women, can't wait to get into a newly built house since newer has to be better, right? Some of those same people, men and women -couples, have seen their new homes get rotted windows within 10 years due to lack of air circulation, and have walls so thin/poorly built that the house shakes in storms.
So, you're right in the "build quality" assessment of the older equipment, but look at all the guys dumping big bucks for cheezy surround systems. It's not just the female mind. Most listeners will either believe they can get performance way beyond their investment or they just don't care about audio performance as much as you and I do.
Get your girlfriend on a topic that she's passionate about, such as maybe style/fashion - just a guess, since it's important to many women - and if you're not as gung ho on it as she, it's likely she'll think it's one of those "male mind" things...
One last thing; her revulsion toward the component may have absolutely nothing to do with audio and everything to do with relationships. Women think continuously in terms of relationships; if there's a problem often it's traceable back to a relationship question/issue. If her family were "collectors" (nice term for pack rats) she may have a revulsion to old and seemingly useless things piling up in her life. Worth discussing, and if you value your relationship its worth discussing and coming to a compromise on how much stuff will invade your lives. |
I guess anybody whom has been in the hobby for more than a week should already understand.---There are hundreds of hobbies I have no interest in. Most folk are in part; a part of what they have been exposed to.---Hey, she might have been thinking to herself--what's with this guy?-- that ain't no Marantz/ Mac 72,or similar. |
Generalizing here - Do you get her purses, shoes, and little ceramic nicknacks? Viva la difference. Mutual respect allows humorous tolerance of the quirks of others and celebration of what makes them happy. Hopefully this goes both ways. But I do understand your frustration - it would be nice to share more of the delight I feel with small audio treasures with my lovely lady. I feel agon is very much enhanced by the women who do get it. |
You need to compromise. Replace the bulbs with some blue led's like she likes. Come on big guy whatcha thinking? |
Understand this now, and your life will be much simpler:
You never will understand, so don't bother trying. It will only upset you further, and annoy the female.
Learn to chuckle, and say "yes dear, it sure is ugly". Of course you still buy it anyway, but just agree with her. If she insists on pursuing the issue, show her the beautiful $6000 tuner that you REALLY wanted. She then be thrilled that you're happy with your $20 tuner, and it will look better to her as well.
John |
This is the exact reason I learned never to buy my wife any kind of electronic gadget. I stick with only gemstones or nothing at all. |
Ya shoulda seen my wife's face when took our first vacation together:
Her: "How many pairs of shoes are you packing?"
Me: "Both" |
There is nothing wrong with blue light or volume control. Do not get married soon. |
Schipo,
Maybe she just can't believe you could possibly fit any more gear into that tiny apartment of yours...
:-)
David |
Hey,
less people to be worried about finding/getting the gear before you do. |
Riffer
your response was classic and could not have summed it up better |
I've been watching this thread with amusement/annoyance, (maybe more of the latter than the former). My husband and I listen to a lot of music at home and live -- and I've put together a couple of systems we are pretty happy with. (He by the way has no interest in the equipment side and he thinks i've been a little nuts on the amount of stuff i have bought and changed but he is ok with changes as long as he thinks it sounds. better in the end.) The suggestion that there is some defect in the "female mind" ( whatever that kind of generalization means) that we can't appreciate good audio seems pretty simplistic and offensive. Granted audiogon is largely populated by men - but clearly there are a lot of women music lovers- at least if the live venues i go to are any indication. Most people ( and probably more women than men) just haven't had the kind of exposure to good equipment to know what a difference it can make in enjoying recorded music. I am constantly struck by looking at audiogon pictures of the number of rooms with single chairs - maybe if you moved another chair in and invited the women in your lives in to listen to the music with you you would find the response to the hobby to be different. Carol |
That Kenwood sounds like a good buy. I have an old Kenwood receiver that I bought at a thrift shop--super cheap--that has amazed me.
I won't bother with any male vs. female comparisons. However, I think a lot of men would also question that Kenwood. They'd agree it's old and archaic. And as for sound quality--well, frankly most people don't care, as long as they have their remote control, their five billion watts of power, etc. |
David my apartment is not that small I have a two bedroom with plenty of space. |
While this is a generalization,it is because for the most part they just don't care.Audio equipment does not interest the majority of women.Most women that I've known are happiest with a small reasonably attractive system.Looks are more important than sound quality!!! Of course,other than expense,I could care less about my wife's fetishes for Coach pocketbooks and Diamond jewelry!!! By the way my wife has excellent ears and when pushed is an excellent judge of sound quality.She just doesn't care! Also the best way to buy a woman a present is to let her pick it out.It may not be romantic,but giving my wife my credit card always results in a gift she is happy with and when she's happy... |
To Dupzyk, where were you a few years ago when I was shopping for a new mate? I'm lucky, my wife is wonderful, but she just doesn't get audio. Oh well, you can't have it all, I guess. Dan |
hi schipo:
i think there may be another problem here--materialism.
maybe she is judging by appearance. this behavior may be manifested in other situations. there is another term that may apply--other directed.
in any case use some psychology and try to determine what motivates her behavior, to the extent you can, and observe consistent patterns. you may figure out why she objects to this purchase. |
Look, my wife and daughters find the Jaguar XK-E to be the ugliest car ever. I think it has to do with hormones! |
My three daughters and wife are all very much into music. They in fact keep up with new artists and explore new music better than I do. They are passionate about thier playlists. So in many ways they are better at what we always say here - "That it is not about the equipment, it is about the music". They just do not see equipment as we do with many wonderful exceptions of women on this site and elsewhere. They appreciate the elegance of design (ease of use)convience and cost of thier Ipods and my wife always uses WAV or lossless. For them there are at least four main drawbacks to the killer amp: cost, ugliness (industrial look), the space it takes, and 90lbs of weight. The esthetics of equipment may eventually cater more to the 50% who do most of the decorating around the home. When I brought my VonSchweikert VR4Sr's home, becuase they look like fine furniture with some interesting lines they were embraced. Gallo Reference and MBL's are out and WP7's in gray paint "looked like trash cans" in her opinion. Even the names are a turn off: VRSR4, WP7. We need names for speakers such as "Song Bird" in colors and patterns the dont make our living rooms look like shop from high school. |
Experiment with new components and new girlfriends. |
