Many of us have come to know Patrick Malone (Lugnut) as a friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and kind individual. He is a frequent and enthusiastic contributor to our analog discussion forum. He has initiated only 17 threads, but responded to 559 threads. I would guess that many, if not most, of us can recall a time when Pat replied with helpful advice to a question we posted or helped us track down a rare recording. I have come to love Pat as a friend, and to respect him as a man, and I suspect many of you share those feelings.
Today I write to share difficult news with you. Pat has been diagnosed with an aggressive stomach cancer. It has yet to be determined whether surgery will even be worth it. If surgery is performed, most or all of the stomach will be removed, and Pat would face a difficult and long post-op period in the hospital. The medical course is still uncertain, but will be determined soon. Whatever is decided, it will not be easy or pleasant.
Something may be planned in the future to assist the family. For now, Pat could use some of the friendship he so often and willingly showed us. You can email Pat at: lugnut50@msn.com. You can also mail cards, letters ... or whatever. You may email me for Pat's mailing address. My email is: pfrumkin1@comcast.net.
I hope to spend a few days with Pat in Idaho or Nebraska (from which he hails) soon. Between this news, my legal work, getting ready for family arriving for the holidays, Audio Intelligent, and trying to make plans to visit Pat, my head is spinning. If you email me and I don't respond, please understand that I am not ignoring you, but rather simply do not have time to reply.
Pat may or may not have time to respond to posts here, to emails, or to cards mailed to him. But he has asked me to convey to each and every one of you that he has cherished your friendship, your comradery, and sharing our common hobby on this great website.
As we prepare for our holiday season celebrations, and look forward to -- as we should -- enjoying this time of year, I ask that you keep Pat and his family in mind ... and softly offer up, in quiet moments in the still of night and early morning, prayers for Pat and his family. God bless.
Pat I am mostly a Jazz-fusion and straight up Jazz as well as Big Band kind of guy. Coltrane and Miles Davis Bitches Brew is kinda like Sun Ra to me. Avant-garde is ok in small doses but not the whole LP. I am going to buy A Love Supreme because I am intrigued about this LP and want to share my impressions. The main reason is because of your reasons, but this was the kicker for me
"Santana blurted out that A Love Supreme is the greatest instrumental recording ever made"
Hey guys I would have been right there with you a few months ago but after reading the book I feel compelled to understand at least somewhat. The crux of the story is that John Coltrane was extremely spiritual. He grew up the son of a minister and was a choir boy as he learned to play in a middle class black life in the south. Throughout his youth he was never without an instrument and practiced every spare moment. He studied different religions and came to believe that all of the worlds religions were worshiping the same God. He had run religion through his personal filter and came to much the same conclusion I have come to during this phase of my life, well kind of anyway. That's the draw for me; the parallel thoughts to a degree. His belief was that God loved us with all his heart and wanted us to love him the same as well as each other. At this point he was becomming more and more popular as a band member finally becoming a part of the great Miles Davis variations. He did develop a heroin addiction, was fired by Miles Davis, eventually quit cold turkey and began writing music to honor this God he worshipped. His music is an attempt to convey perfect love to our maker. The music needed to be perfect to honor Him. Now I don't understand music well enough to explain how much of what sounds as mass confusion to me actually makes perfect musical sense in a way that was never expressed before. To the men in his band and others of like talents this was blazing a trail of monumental importance. They got it so why can't I? A few years ago Carlos Santana and someone else were getting ready to do the reading of the nominees for the best instrumental album of some sort at the Grammys. During the reading of the names Santana blurted out that A Love Supreme is the greatest instrumental recording ever made and the co-host agreed. I remember the cameras panning the audience and many of the greats stood up and applauded. This whole thing went over my head until I read this book. The story is amazing. I want so bad to just get this one recording understood. The prayer he has written in the liner notes is understandable when he is playing the sax. The grunts, squeeks, squwaks and such are the sounds he is making to express perfectly the love he has for his maker. I'm convinced that he was sincere in what he was trying to do and too many great jazz men have put him on a pedestal for the work for me to think that it doesn't warrant a sincere attempt at understanding it. Man, I thought that some of this thread was deep but this concept of creating perfect music to honor the only perfect entity scares me that I might need be perfect to get it. If so, I'm out of luck on this one. Now, the intro to the Twilight Zone please...
Pat- I'm gonna come outta da closet and admit that I too struggle with Coltrane. I find that I quickly lose interest in it- versus the work of say Miles Davis.
I also find that Coltrane is just trying too hard to make sound. I know you guys think I'm nuts, but something about the guy doesn't cut it for me.
Nope, I don't have those either. What I have is mostly the albums that sound like they're killing barnyard animals. You know, Meditations numbers 1 thru them all. I do have a couple of his with the early quartets that are great. I recently moved all my vinyl and don't have them together. It won't take long to do an inventory though and I'll write you direct. You know, sometimes I want to place an add offering to trade the ones I have. The ad I would write would remind me of a line I saw years back while standing at a filling station urinal. It said simply, Will trade two blind crabs for one without teeth. For a guy that made such great music I have a hard time with the ones I have. Hard core jazz fans think they are the best but I haven't gotten that far yet. I am going to get A Love Supreme even if it hurts. The book is a must read.
Pat, just want to say how much I admire your honesty and attitude displayed in your narrative here, and encourage you not to worry about letting it all hang out on this thread if doing so is of any psychically therapeutic use to you, no matter how wrenching you fear it may seem. We can take it if you can (even the part about selling the Nova :-) I also second your commendation of and request to Audiogon about this thread.
I see I shouldn't haul off and send you my vinyl copy of A Love Supreme (whew!). I'm wondering if you have either of two of my other fav 'Trane albums, Ole (Atlantic) or Coltrane (Impulse)?...
Love your moniker. I've thought of that MP3 player thing too. I've ripped all of my CD's into my computer but no longer use digital in my main system. I don't have a player and can't justify the expense. NOTE: DON'T ANYONE DARE SEND ME A PLAYER AS A GIFT OR ON LOAN!!! I take books to read but they give me drugs that put me to sleep. And they feed us lunch. Sleep is good but lunch is better. But the steroids....
That's now part of my daily meds. Also, each treatment consists of a mega dose of some other kind of steroid. Having been a cancer patient and used them previously I'm aware of what they do to me. My mind goes a little too fast and is not as easy to control. So, maybe I now put my foot in my mouth more often. Also, they tend to make me more aggressive which I try very hard not to do. I usually feel bad after being that way even if it was deserved so I just don't like it. I think, at least online, people can put up with the chatty part but I fear I might alienate some good people when it's the drugs and not me talking. It's so nice that I can come to this thread and not even be tempted to degrade the conversation. Other threads, uhoh, watch out. I gotta get disciplined. It don't make no sense in fussin' with a jackass.
Stayed up til 3 am listening to the new cartridge. It's smoothed out some even with that short of a time. I got a lot of enjoyment out of it. Now I don't want to do anything else. It sucks to deny the urge to sit and listen in exchange for the drudgery of acquiring dishpan hands.
Lugnut, For the chemo sessions you might try a nice pair of headphones and a load of your favorite tunes on a portable 20MB hard drive MP3 player. Might preoccupy the mind.
I received the ZYX R100H Yatra 2 today. Steve was kind enough to come over and install it rather than me using my shakey hands. I've got to say that right out of the box I was totally blown away. Of course, there are issues to be resolved through break in but man oh man, the details, body, speed, dynamics and frequency extremes are really something to behold. And this is through my solid state preamp. It's way more than I expected. The negatives for now is an edge in the mid range to upper mid range with vocals and some horns. I only have an hour or so on it and the edge is already getting less. If the break in goes as I've heard with the Universe in Steve's system it will become incredibly smooth yet retain all of the positives I've described. I haven't yet played with the VTA but I'm sure it's very close. Tracking has been set a little over what is preferred once broken in and is at 2.09 grams. Next week after 100 hours or so it'll go down to a more suitable 1.95 or so. The preamp has shipped and it too should be pretty well on it's way to being broken in late next week. Some friends have a lot of vintage tubes to try out with it so this should be fun. Wish me luck in having a lot of satisfaction when first fired up. If that's the case I'm done. Life is very good. Almost forgot. Spent 4 hours in chemo today. It's a pretty uneventful, boring thing to do. It seems I'm tolerating it well but have been advised about a number of irritating things that I will have to live with. Numbness in the fingers and feet, hair loss, taste change and perhaps some type of subborn and painful rash. That's okay as long as I've got my hearing and my wife. Plus, who needs to look in a mirror? It seems also that my friends really, honestly don't care what I look like. Why should I?
That was a really cool post Bin. All of you guys have been so nice to me. Now, get this. What should be pretty lazy days because I get up without any plans almost always turn out to be very full. Man, I must have gotten five calls yesterday from afar just wishing me well and then the conversations turn to audio. Lot's of fun on the receiving end. It gets so full at times that I don't keep things straight. Here's a perfect example. Barb brought home a package and inside was an album "Traveling Willburys". I remember a call asking me if I had it but I don't remember the particulars so I figured I'd go to my email and send a thank you. Wrong. Ain't that organized I guess. So, whoever sent this, thanks and I'm sorry for not responding in a more apporpriate manner. Oh. And Paul, when I remarked I had a lifetime supply I really wasn't talking about my remaining life but rather on the quantity at hand. As soon as I said it I saw the humor. Glad you did too. I know you'll always make sure there is enough AIVS around this house. Every day has a healthy dose of humor around here even if it's by accident.
Hey guys, I should be getting the new cartridge today. I'll be twisting Steve's arm to come over and help my shakey hands install it. This will be fun. I fear I may have lost my anti-cables. After the club meeting at Steve's place the other night the lineup of guys wanting to give them a try was pretty long. I just said to pass them around but get them back to me. Har har. No matter at all. I smile every time I think about. People excited about a product that's almost free. What a hoot!
I go in for my second round of Taxol today and figure it will be anti-climactic. They're pretty slow the first time they give any new drug in anticipation of a negative reaction. Subsequent infusions go pretty quickly and this time I won't be given a huge dose of Benedryl. Man, that was a pretty intense high last week. Not bad at all. Kind of fun actually. It did take my day away though. I'm looking forward to getting back home today and resuming all the surprise activity that seems to occur.
We've been a four car family with two drivers. In quick succession one car got hit by someone that ran a stop sign and is totaled. I sold the Nova and then put the family sedan in the shop for a bunch of small items I've neglected. We're down to just my truck. I've been meaning to return a bunch of albums to SdCampbell and haven't done it. I'd like to get smaller boxes so those poor Postal employees don't get hurt but haven't been able to get to U-Haul to get some. Scott, I will get it done soon. Promise.
When we went to Steve's place on Monday for our audio club get together I finally got a chance to meet the sweet gal that helped him with my room remodel in late December. Seeing as how they are still seeing one another after hanging wall paper.....well, that's a good sign for being able to get along.
Bin ... that was indeed beautiful. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
When my mom was dying, she urged my dad to re-marry. In fact, she named some women she thought would be good for my dad ... and 1 year after my mom died, my dad married the woman who was #1 on my mom's list. My sister felt that my dad had soiled mom's memory. I felt 180 degrees differently. I thought that the fact that my dad sought re-marriage soon was, in fact, a testament to my parents' marriage: that it had been so wonderful, my dad soon wanted to have that feeling again. I know my mom smiled from heaven when my dad re-married. She didn't want him to be lonely in some sort of misguided idea of "honoring" their marriage by being alone and miserable.
Pat, when you write "I hope some really nice, deserving guy wins [Barb's] heart someday," it is clear that you share my mom's hope that her spouse find the way to be happy after you are gone. I believed, when my mom so encouraged my dad, that it took one hell of a strong and wonderful person to express such a sentiment ... and I believe that now when you express much the same on Barb's behalf.
Tonight I called and spoke with Pat. I asked if he needed any more Audio Intelligent cleaning formulas. He replied: "I have enough to last me for the rest of my life." I didn't know what to say. Then I laughed, and said: "You asshole!"
Pat, there is no need to apologize for not being able to make the trip to attend the Stereo Times Award Party. I am sorry you're not physically up to making the trip. Lis will come with me, and we'll try to video tape at least that part of the awards party when I go up and receive the award for Audio Intelligent. We'll send that video to you, so you can be there in spirit and share the moment with us.
You write that asking us to support Barb after you're gone is difficult for you. For me, the difficult part of that is hearing you plan for when you are gone ... because I, selfishly, do not want to contemplate a world where my dear friend is gone. But Pat, I swear to you, in front of these witnesses, that I will help Barb, and stay in touch with Barb, to the best of my ability, for as long as I shall live. You have my word on it.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Barb. Bin's post was so beautiful; it reminded me of something I think of often.
My Dad was killed in the military in 1964. I was 7 years old. I still remember his love like it was yesterday.
I lost my Mom 2 years ago. I remember her looking into my eyes as she lay dying, her tears streaking her cheeks. Unable to speak, I still know her tears were not for herself, but for me. I will always have her love.
I believe so firmly in an afterlife because, having known love in such depth, I refuse to believe it can ever be extinguished.
Pat thank you for sharing so openly. Having followed this thread daily since it's inception, it unravels as a testament to love and empathy. You have made us smile, cry, and smile again. Thanks my friend- for reminding all of us that love is what truly matters.
A few years ago my best friend was diagnosed with Cancer. I was with him during most all his chemo treatments and spent what was to be his last night with us at the hospital at his side. Sometime during the night I awoke and he was sitting patiently waiting for me to wake up he mumbled something I couldnt hear, when I got closer he was saying to me "who thought it would come to this"? I didn't know what to say. The next day he passed in my arms. Shortly after my mom was diagnosed with cancer. During her hospital stay one day near the end I decided to smuggle up some beer and get all her relatives and loved ones around, we had a grand old time. She said something about how she would have to start working hard if she wanted to get out of there. I didnt know what to say. The next night was unusually uneventful and I left in the morning to go home for a bit. She passed away minutes after I left. I know she held on long enough so I wasnt there when it happened. Thats mom's always looking out for you.
Patrick you have made me realize that maybe it wasn't important what I said but simply that they knew I loved them. I still dont know what to say. But I will say that you are loved and thats the greatest gift of all. One small thing I can do is to light a candle every time I listen to music for my friends Patrick and JD to let you know you are loved. After all in the end all we have is each other.
Glad to hear you remain in good spirits despite the setback. You give us all a lot to think about.
I just bought the Coltrane album off ebay for you. It should be here in a couple of days, and I'll get it out to you ASAP. It's new, SS, but I think I need to give it one listen before it goes out. The message seems to strong to ignore.
Pat, I have been following this thread since its inception. It is the most gut-wrenching , enlightening and real piece of literature I've ever read. Your dilemma has caused us all to re-evaluate our lives, in some cases to appreciate what we have, or in my case to try to be more Lugnut-like. The courage you have shown is inspiring, but the love and concern it has brought back is truly miraculous. Don't worry about the meds affecting your writing skills. IMHO this was your most eloquent post to date. In so many ways yours has been a life so well lived. The feelings you've brought out in us all is in itself a great legacy. I realize what you are doing in this thread and am grateful you've had the stamina and courage to do it. "Thanks to you all for keeping this thread alive. I'm sure you know how much it's meant to me." No Lugnut, Thank you.
The Eastern Electric was on my short list but due to my need of a good phono stage and to keep the overall cost down the TAD won out. I'll post however this works in my system. Every time I think about the anti-cables I get a smile on my face. I hope they work for you. But, even if they don't it's a really inexpensive experiment. Maybe my buddy Steve will post his views on them here. Our audio club meeting is at his house this evening and he has been playing with the wire I left with him.
The last several posts (other than mine) have touched on stuff that's near and dear to my heart but didn't come up in an honest fashion until now. Howard (Aggielaw), expresses surprise at a lack of bitterness about not being diagnosed sooner. Believe me when I say that the lack of bitterness is not because I'm some amazing character. It's just that I don't have time for it. Maybe I would be bitter if I had some time to burn but I don't. Long time acquaintences know that in cases like this I would normally just get angry, express it directly and move on. When I was very young this would often lead to a physical confrontation that I could not lose in order to make my point. Thankfully, I figured out that winning like that just doesn't prove anything other than I could beat the offender up. Somewhere, some time, I connected the dots and determined that I could use my anger to achieve something good if lucky. I learned how to never raise my voice and remain focused on the offense, express myself and move on. I try to use my anger in a way that makes the offender look in a mirror and see clearly their flaws. Sometimes it works. It doesn't matter now because I'm very limited physically, but trust me on this, I'm glad that when I was young I learned to fight well. Situations have come up during my life where things could have degenerated to physical confrontation but didn't because of my inner confidence. This is kind of a rambling I'm going through now and I hope you guys can wade through it. To an extent, it's the steroids talking. My mind goes faster than my ability to control it. Anyway, in closing this thought, all of this bitterness, anger and such is really controlled by forseeing regret on my part. Every confrontation I've had was followed by regret no matter how right I was. I hate that feeling so allowing it to guide me makes me choose my fights carefully. (At this time I worry that I'm expressing myself at a frequency that you guys can't follow. Sorry if I'm not the normal writer you are used to)
Jadem6 covered the way we are to relate to one another which has been a recurring theme in this thread. It's worthy of repeating here and throughout our lives. Maybe we should all begin our morning with a chant of some sort..."I will be nice". Immature folks will dismiss it out of hand and a lot of us will easily forget it with the passage of time. We need to have this be the driving force in our lives but still be able to call upon rightous anger when needed.
Rockinroni was the last to express it but many others have said the same thing over and over here. You continue to pray for me and my family. Well, my family and I pray for you all too. My beliefs are traditional Christian but I know that there are a lot of readers here that aren't a part of this belief system. Many have expressed as much but still offer prayers in their own way. So, let me sidetrack you for a moment. If you've followed this thread from the beginning I and others have stated that most of what happens to us isn't by accident. Well, I've struggled with the music of John Coltraine for a long time. Just before my surgery I was given a book about the making of his album "A Love Supreme". I'm about halfway through it now and reading it is also no accident. The message to me has significance at this time and I'd like to share it. John had evolved to a place where he embraced every religion and felt strongly that the recurring theme of all the worlds religions said the same thing, just love. It's obvious that he wanted to glorify God and the only thing he could do was make music as close to perfection as he could and that is what he did with "A Love Supreme". Apparently this ablum has touched something deep inside many people and it goes beyond the notes. Man, I must have twenty Coltraine albums but I don't have this one. I want to hear it real bad too but haven't found a copy to put on the turntable. Now, back to my point. Like John Coltraine, I embrace whatever each of you believe in. That's not to say that I wouldn't wish to convert you to what I think I know. It's just that if you have belief in something greater than the slime we are supposed to have crawled out of you are on your way and it honors my God that you are walking a path toward an end. All of you, no matter what, pray. I don't know how but it makes a difference. (Another concern that I'm operating at an impossible frequency for you to follow) Please play the Twilight Zone intro...
I have gotten a lot of emails, phone calls and personal visits since this thread began. The volume is pretty large and I really enjoy it. Cello called yesterday. His calls always make me feel so good. He and his family have gotten something out of this "novel in progress", as Jeff1 so aptly put it, and this pleases me to no end. I will deny to the end that I'm brave or special or whatever though. I am what I am which is terribly flawed and I appreciate you guys overlooking my flaws in this time of need. You all have served me well. A non-posting member named Paul that I met for the first time in Miami at the "gathering" sent me an email that really showed bravery. He spoke at length about my need to confront how I want to die and convey my wishes to those in my charge. That took balls and it came from one of the gentlest people I've ever met. He described events surrounding his fathers death and layed the options I have before me. This email was no accident either. I do not have a crystal ball, and forgive now if my suspicion proves wrong later on, but I'm beginning to think that the Taxol will fail sooner than I hoped. Things are going on with my body, none of which are horrible, after just one treatment that if they get worse will make stopping this treatment necessary. That point is where my character will be tested and that is why it was no accident that Paul wrote me about end of life choices.
Paul Frumkin has invited me to visit him late this month and attend an awards dinner where AIVS is being presented a product award by Stereo Times. I'd love to go for a number of reasons. I've never been to NYC and would love to see the faces of audio people I've only read about. Mainly I'd love to see Paul again and meet his sweet wife. He was the first to reach out to me and has proven as reliable as the sun rising each morning. Airline tickets are cheap and I could book a flight gambling on feeling well enough to attend. Yesterday proved to my satisfaction that I just don't have enough vitality to even consider it. That hurts. Sitting here and doing the little things I do around the house I feel good enough to do it. Doing anything else outside of this easy pace proves I cannot. Tonight is our monthly club meeting and in order to attend I'll need to take all day to get my body ready. Barb will be going with me because we both recognize that I may need her to get home. If that's what I must do to travel twenty miles it's obvious I can't save up enough of myself to do the flying thing back east. It would just be too long a day. Paul, I'm really sorry.
I've got to ask you guys for a couple of favors. Before doing so I again want to express my gratitude to Audiogon for allowing this thread to continue. Thanks. Okay, so at some point I'll be outta here. Maybe I'll write something meaningful and my family will post it here or maybe one of you that is in personal contact with me will post to inform everyone what has happened. I'm sure that there will be additional posts that I will not be able to read. Audiogon, please let it stay up until it's done. What I'm hoping is that someone will figure out a way to print this thread in its entireity and give it to Barb in a nice keepsake package. The other favor is harder to ask. We guys are like those lions in the jungle. We hang around together and bond in large numbers letting the women worry about so much of the details in life. I've got a huge support group. My wife has spent her life focusing on me and our little family. I know that when I'm gone my friends will reach out to her. The problem is that there will be an expiration date with it. I cannot rely on her family to pick up where friends leave off. It's not that they are bad people. Far from it. They are just not as deep at this point in time as my wife will need in the long run. If some of you write down the following contact information and put it somewhere where it's in front of your face every day then maybe you'll be compelled periodically to write or call. If you have a certain expertise that may be of benefit for her please push and offer some small kind of help. You know, the things you figure I handled and she has no experience in. Just good, solid advice on simple things may make a huge difference. I feel uncomfortable asking this but now that I've done it, I can live with that. You may contact her at Barb Malone, 307 W. Sherman Ave., Nampa, Idaho 83686, (208) 467-3540. Thanks guys. I appreciate it.
Jeff1, I'm impressed that you visualized me the way I actually look, or rather looked. Geez, I look pretty unfamiliar to myself now. LOL. Also, thanks for the babe compliment about Barb. She is a class woman and has been since the moment I met her. When young she was a total knockout and every head turned to look at her. Everybody that got to know her loved her sweet and kind disposition. She has always made me feel secure in our relationship no matter what. She has aged like a fine wine and to me will be beautiful no matter how old she becomes. I hope some really nice, deserving guy wins her heart someday. She's good people.
Thanks for reading this long, rambling post and enduring the discomfort I know it brings. I feel better for having said it and now I'll be able to just focus on smaller things and happier things like the new cartridge and preamp. Thanks to you all for keeping this thread alive. I'm sure you know how much it's meant to me.
Hey Pat, You know how I feel about your current situation so I wonÂ’t dwell on that. I will say however, that you and your family are in my prayers.
I am also looking to get a new pre and the TAD and Mini Max are at the top of my list. I am leaning towards the Mini Max at this point. I went into Jacksonville last weekend to the House of Stereo. He has the Easter Electric stuff in his shop, man that was a surprise. I asked him his opinion of the pre because he has a lot more experience with tube preamps than I. He said it is as good as any $5000 pre he has herd. I was also going to order the anti-cables because I am using some silver-plate cables that maybe adding a little sheen to my system. Seems like we are on the same page. Let us know how your new gear works out. May the LOVE of our lord Jesus be with you always. your friend Ron
Pat...I feel like I'm reading a novel in progress...I started at the beginning of this thread and couldn't stop ..there is so much great stuff here I am bewildered..This is an awesome group of people that I have recently joined...I've been an audiophobic since 1972 enjoying many styles of music....I can only echo the sentiments..good wishes...and prayers of those before me...Your picture was exactly as I imagined you..and Barb is total Babe...Your enthusiasm and passion for music is contagious...You are truly amongst friends...
Although I don't spend much time in the discussion forums, I'm surprised that this morning is the first time I've seen this thread. You are incredibly brave. And God willing, you'll beat this.
I'm also amazed that you aren't bitter toward the doctors who committed malpractice by not doing the tests they should have done based on what you told them. Especially this round after already having cancer once.
Thank you so much for every post you share with us. Not only because you have a better understanding of how precious every day is than most of us, but because all your posts are not only knowledgeable, but classy regarding those who disagree with you on "controversial" topics. It is a glimpse of how great it must be to know you personally and to get to spend time with you.
If there was a "rules for use on audiogon" I'd simply put your username up and say "Be like this guy."
Steal the point of this thread??? Clearly not. You've not only nailed the point but drove it home with force. Thank you so very much. Now, everyone, go out and find the stinkiest, lowliest, most pathetic person out there and give them a hug! LOL. I know, I know, that sounds like an exaggeration. But, IT IS the point. After all, you guys have given me a group hug in effect and look at me. Har har.
I sent an email to Pat after he shared a very insightful and love felt comment to me on another thread. I thanked him for sharing his love that had clearly come from his sole. I’m not going to go too deep into my impression of soles and God, but I am going to now publicly thank Pat for his love and honesty. He told me about this thread which I just now first read, now I understand this sole’s love and clarity. I too have had to contemplate the meaning of life and my mortality. Not until one faces death do we truly understand the meaning of our lives. LOVE! That’s it. I have now lived three years longer than the worst case scenario as was described after my heart attack and quadruple bi-pass eight years ago. I have gone to sleep with issues most forty year olds do not ever think of. “Is this my last night?” “Will I be alive tomorrow?” After eight years of these thoughts, my perspective is different than many. But not Lugnut. He understands, and he has been honest enough to share that. I now am told I have less than one year, as my heart is now less than 20% efficient. We pray for a heart transplant when the time comes. But that’s not even my point, my point is LOVE. When I had awoke from my surgery and discovered I had a near death experience and “saw the light” as referred to by many who have had near death experiences. From that time I have known I have more to do here on earth, for I was offered the choice to come back here, or stay home with God. I do not remember why I choose this path, but I do. I believe I’m here to share, love and help other soles who may be searching. Again I do not want to steel the point of this thread, or sound like I am preaching for that is not at all my intent. My intent is to share my sole, and my love for an old Audiogon friend, and let you know what you already clearly know. It’s ok, and yes we can make a difference here on earth. My purpose, as is yours, is to share, care and love. We are alive because we have something few can give the knowledge that our soles are all one, and the secret to life is LOVE, love yourself, and love every soul you meet, for to love another soul is to in-fact love yourself. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to write an as yet unpublished book to help share my experiences with all those who would listen. I never considered Audiogon as an outlet. but you have shone me every friend made is another soul who may learn. Thank you Lugnut for your love and friendship. J.D.
Twice now, I've gotten cancer. Both times I went to doctors early on and was persistent about what I knew were not normal symptoms. Both times the physicians didn't take me seriously which delayed things too much. Early detection is an accident. This proves life is what it is.
Tom,
I'm excited about my purchases. We're not talking a lot of money here so if it kicks things up a few notches I'm a happy camper. Barb's excited too because she likes the sound of the old AI tube preamp but really likes the remote of the solid state stuff. Maybe I've hit on the right combination for her, and me. The ZYX cartridge is an experiment in a way. Others I've known respect the performance of the model I purchased but have moved onto the Universe. I doubt whether the Universe needs to be promoted because at that level and price point there is a lot of interaction between high end purchasers. The lower price models have much of the magic of the Universe and I'm hoping that in lesser systems like mine they offer the best performance for the money. I'll be posting my thoughts on this after break in and I'll use at least three preamps to try and be honest in my evaluation. They are ugly though, IMO. LOL
On a side note I bought some of Paul Speltz anti-cables just to play with. My intentions have been to find gear whose performance far exceeds the cost so that we can help get some young blood in this hobby without mortgaging their sperm bank. I took them over the Steve's house yesterday and inserted them into his system. They are stunning. Cost to performance ratio is so high on these that they deserve an award of some sort. Honest.
I have been following this thread for some time now. It got me to the Doctor for some ot those routine tests....the kind Warren Zevon admitted he didn't bother with.
This whole thing is scary; still...thanks for the dose of reality. Maybe others hereabouts will get themselves away from the computer and the easy listening room and off to the doctor.
Well, I did it. I ordered the TAD signature preamp and a ZYX R100H Yatra cartridge. This should be a significant step up for me. I realize I'm not soaring with the eagles here but I bet I get more bang for the buck than most.
Thank you guys for the words of encouragement. I worry about being too open in this thread and turning folks off. Maybe I'm just caught up in this situation and want so badly for others to gain something from this, my loss. Sometimes it is very difficult. Your continued support does lift me up and carry me on to the next moment of enjoyment.
. Hi Pat, . I always have you in my thoughts and prayers. You are a real bright spot for all of us. . Keep enjoying yourself and keep us updated with how you are doing and don't worry about holding back any of the news. We are here for you. . Rgds, Larry .
Pat, I'm sure I'm not the only one who is glad to read all the news you see fit to print. Everything you have shared here has been welcome to me. Even the stuff about cars. There are clearly difficult moments now. I send all my good wishes and prayers, and I am continually inspired by your example.
Hi Pat, I'm really sorry about the developments. And the car. It sounds cool. I had to sell our cool '73 Corvette (454-4spd) last year because we were moving to live with an elderly (and sick) relative and there's no garage at our new address. Did I mention the Corvette was cool (Ontario Orange ... love it or hate it). At least I get to keep the gold chains and chest wig that were mandatory attire while driving the car. But cars are just lumps of metal (or plastic in the Corvette's case) ... it's the fleshy bits that count. Here's hoping that things look up for your fleshy bits. Sean
I'm uncertain about posting certain stuff here and this is one of those difficult posts that I'm going to sugar coat a little.
Last week I developed abdominal pain that progressively got worse and was not controllable with the current doses of pain meds. We moved up my scheduled CT scan to this last Monday and a visit with my oncologist to yesterday. The Xeloda did not work. The cancer has spread to many area in my intestinal cavity with an associated fluid build up that was causing the pain.
The only purpose for any of the chemo treatments has been to aleviate symptoms. There is one last type of drug I can use that may halt/reverse this for awhile and I accepted the offer and yesterday had my first round of Taxol via port injection. We'll see where this goes from here.
This isn't what I had desired to do and if I could turn back the clock (and have a crystal ball) I'd do things differntly. In a sense, through no fault of my own, I've painted myself into a corner. That's about all I can say within my comfort level of sharing with you guys. Man, I don't want to go into the gory details for fear of turning some of the readers off. Anyone that feels there may be value in more information can contact me personally and I'll be glad to share.
I really want all of you to know that my goal remains to enjoy every day to the maximum. With that in mind I have plans to outsmart the worst part of this situation in a fun way.
I sold my '67 Nova ten second REALLY COOL street car yesterday. Did I mention how COOL it is?? Anyway, the sale has freed up a large chunk of change. Most of the proceeds will go toward a better car for my wife and a new roof for the house among other sucky things to buy. I am going to buy myself a new, at least new to me, preamp and likely a new cartridge.
I sold the Wright preamp and am considering the TAD reference that BizzyBee is offering. The audition period and 10% restocking fee seems very reasonable and if it's within my performance needs I'll be happy. If anyone has any input about this preamp, especially how well it does on the frequency extremes I'd really appreciate hearing about it. I have access to a large variety of the best old tubes to experiment with. The preamp is cheap enough to allow me to buy another cartridge. My preferences for cartridges are different from most of the ears that follow this thread. I'd really like a Sumiko Celebration but am concerned about the amount of gain in the mc section of the TAD. I'd like to know if Sumiko has a dedicated step up for this cartridge and how much it is. The alternative is the Blackbird which I know will work and clearly is within my budget. I haven't heard the Blackbird but have heard the Celebration. Input is always welcome.
Thanks, guys. I can relate to the humor. I used to work in a plumbing warehouse back in the 60s and got quite creative with brass pipe fittings. I also remember travelling home from Woodstock (yes the 1969 Woodstock) and getting stopped and searched by some local yocal cops. They made me empty every pocket except the one that would have landed us in the slammer!!
My wife Susan is making it all so very easy on everyone. Great sense of humor (including lots of cancer jokes). So far, except for recovering from the surgeries, she has been completely healthy. That's the hardest part for her; she felt fine until they started treating her. And tough; after her 3rd op, which they said would be 1-2 weeks recovery, she was back to work in 1.5 days!! tis most recent they say 2-6 weeks and she is planning on going back this Wed after 1 week. So far I have been very lucky; she's made it awefully easy on me. The 3 of us (my wife, son and I) had one shouting match about a week ago but that's all. 'Course with a VERY smart, VERY stubborn, 16 year old, that's probably 5-10 less than our typical weekly total ;~) I really do appreciate the good thoughts and kind words, tho.
Michael ... I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you and your wife are facing. I'm sending wishes and prayers your way, and hope you will have the strength to prevail.
Pat, I had heard that smoking was bad for your health, but I had no idea it could cause instaneous combustion of the hair. What a hoot.
In high school, two of us went with a third friend to his dad's karate club and sauna late at night. We were without papers or a pipe. Being resourceful, I found some gum in someone's drawer and a garden hose in the basement. I got the foil from the gum, laid it in the hose, and perforated the foil with a paper clip. Wallah -- instant pipe. My friend borrowed the pipe-contraption ... and a day later got pulled over, and the police found that pipe and busted him. Two months later, he borrowed a gag pipe I had made from a gasmask and a corncob. Yep ... he got pulled over again and the police found that one as well. They made him get therapy. LOL.
But seriously, Michael, Pat ... please know that you and your wives are in my prayers.
Make no mistake about it. Being the spouse of a cancer patient is probably worse than having the disease. I can only think of those poor souls who's children are stricken with this madness and I'm so thankful I'm not in that postion. In all things it can always be worse.
I wish your wife the best, from the bottom of my heart. As for you I hope and pray that you can maintain your own health during these trying times. Look after yourself. Your wife and family need you.
The smoking was purely recreational. I don't really partake anymore unless a close friend brings some over. How could I not smoke with these guys? We go back over thirty years together when that's what we all did. It does bring back fond memories too. Like the time one of the guys coughed into the bong, blowing the glowing embers into the air. When it came down it landed on his head catching his hair on fire. THAT was a Furry Freak Brothers incident if there ever was one.
I'll be thinking of you and your wife and keep you in my prayers. Fight the good fight.
Patrick- I've been thinking about you a lot. My wife has just finished her 4th surgery in the last 2 months and is about to start what they call dose-dense chemo in a couple of weeks. People like you and she are the definition in my book of class AND bravery. Taking the bitter with the sweet and doing what you have to do without any sense of self-pity. Her long term prognosis is pretty good so that helps her (and me), but so far she has not caught any breaks at all in terms of what was anticipated vs. what actually happened. And of course at some point you just have to decide either to trust the docs or not; there is no way you can have the independent knowledge to know that from a medical standpoint you are doing the right thing if your not a Dr. yourself. That doesn't mean that you have to do what they recommend, but if you can't trust your doc to give you valid info on something as complicated and significant (understatement!) as cancer therapy, then you're really up $hit creek. BTW, with the new anti-nausea drugs, is the smoking recreational or medicinal? Hard for us to know how to plan for this, especially with a 16 year old in the house. I guess we will just let it come to us.
Glad to hear that you have had a good time with your buds. I'm not a shooter but hanging out and drinking some good booze and listening to some tunes, sounds like what I like to do with my friends; just substitute golf for skeet! Don't get a chance to do it that often; note to self to do that kind of thing more often.
I'm thinking about you and will be sending all good thoughts for good results on your CT scan.
Last week was spent with a couple of old friends from the Midwest that came out to just hang around. We went to one of our audio club meetings and everyone seemed to enjoy my guests. Two nights were spent listening to live blues at my favorite watering hole. Played some pool too and owned the table for a few hours until I just hung it up in favor of people watching. We also went to Steve's home and they were just blown away by his room and system. We stayed up late listening to various types of music, drinking single malt scotch and cognac, smoking various cigars and other, er, plants. One of my friends spent some time shooting skeet, trap and sporting clays, with my other friend going to some BLM land and target shooting his rifles at long distances. A lot of the time these guys brought up stories about yours truly that they will never forget. Wow! Listening to these tales makes me realize that I've been a smart ass for most of my life. Like the time a lady in a shopping center parking lot was hitting her son on the head telling him how stupid he was. My comment to her was, "Yeah lady, that's right. Hit him on the brain. That should make him smarter." Or the time at a party when an obnoxious drunk butted into a great conversation and I told him that the more I knew him the more I liked him less. I don't just blurt things out like I used to but I still think them. I love these guys and cherish the time I spent with them this last week.
I received my Wright WPL10 V preamp last week too. I've got to say that for such an inexpensive piece it has speed to die for and lets the details through rivaling pieces selling for much higher prices not to mention it is dead quiet. I do have some things to sort out though and maybe you guys can help. The cartridge I'm currently using is one reported to not be a good match with this phono stage and the 901 that I have requires a step up tranny to work as it should because of its low source impedence. The phono stage has a total of 65 db of gain and is said to work well with cartridges down to .5 mv. Considering all of my options it seems buying a new cartridge is perhaps the easiest path to satisfaction. Besides, the 901 doesn't belong to me. I've got an Ittok arm, need a minimum .5 mv output and 47k loading as well as high source impedence. I'm looking to spend around $500 but will go up to $800 new or used. Used, if from a trusted source like one of you guys. Advice is needed. Of course, I could sell the WPL10 V and buy another preamp for more money too.
I finished my first go round of the Xeloda. I guess I tolerated it well enough. Hell, at this point I don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling. I don't sleep well and am fatigued most of the time but I don't blame this on the medication although I know it contributes to being tired. I'll begin the second round next Wednesday and after that go in for a CT scan to see if it is helping. In the meantime I'm just going to try and ignore thinking about it. There doesn't seem to be any point in that mental exercise anyway. After all, it is what it is. I do dislike very much swallowing so many pills every day. I realize it's a mental thing but popping seven in the morning and ten in the evening of various required meds makes me wonder if mixing all of them up creates something brand new! Do doctors even think about the synergy thing?? LOL
Patrick: "keep on truckin, man" is appropriate. With or without a step-up tranny:)!
good fortune, considering the circumstances, continues to rain down on me
To be able to SEE good fortune and look positively at the world, from where you are is a great lesson for all the rest of us. Thank you on behalf of my little family & myself.
On step-up trannies: K&K's lundahl trannies are good. Also, sowter sells them as does diyhifisupply. All are very easy to operate! Cheers and be well.
Geez, you guys are the best. Tom, I'll decline on the kind offer. I have a perfect 901 which I plan on using at some point. Your Cotter would have been plug and play. I really don't want to maybe have Barb sort out things that need to be returned. Doug, the K&K is one I'm considering and it's probably a perfect match for the level of my system. If I do the K&K thing I'll probably call you for some specifics. I don't much care for cigars myself. If you and Paul can somehow make it out this way I'd accomodate any such requests.
I posted my system the other day and was disappointed to see it did not make it to the "new today" forum page. Did I do something wrong? I was hoping that you guys would get to see it since it was only made possible through your help. It is an extension of my personality. It's found in the system link on the home page entitled Lugnut's room.
I'm really in touch with my body and its telling me that this stuff is working. I could bitch about a number of things that are no longer normal but I'm in generally good health and can enjoy every day. I can actually make plans and follow through with them. That may not seem like a big deal to you healthy guys but it is what gives me my life back. Previously if I were invited to do something I'd have to qualify my response with "sure, if I'm feeling good enough". Now I can say, "what time?".
Patrick, you've made my day, week and month! I'm so glad to hear this good news. Personally I hate cigars, so I'm staying away from Boise until you use them up. ;-)
Glad you enjoyed that unscheduled demo of the value of John Chapman's simple and clever design. Why doesn't every stepup have these? I guess people just haven't experienced how critical impedance loading is for an MC running through a stepup. As you heard, the tiniest change can turn a pedestrian sounding setup into real magic.
We learned this partly by dumb luck and partly because Paul is a scientist. I supplied the dumb luck by choosing the BentAudio Mu's. It was simply an, "I don't know what I'm doing so I'll go for flexibility," decision. Paul predicted the sensitivity to impedance adjustment and explained that we could create intermediate values by combining two or more resistors. He was like, "Well duh, doesn't everyone do that?" (You try living with a genius - it ain't all peaches and cream!)
Funny how things large or small can surprise us and work out well sometimes, but I guess you know that.
Here's a suggestion: pick up a set of the K&K stepups (they have a sponsor link on VA). You can buy them in kit form for $250. Solder a pair of speaker binding posts across the secondaries while making the kits. Voila! Same functionality as the Bent's for 1/3 the cost.
Better yet, borrow Twl's Cotter and mod it for him. He'll thank you when he gets it back!
Cheers, buddy. Glad to hear you're feeling better.
Hi Pat, you can use my Cotter step-up tranny if you want to. My system is down now anyway while I'm working on the house. I'd need to get it back later, though, since I can't play my system without it.
It has 20db gain, is configured for 40ohms load, and is not really re-settable without a major pain in the ass. It's a good load for my Shelter.
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