About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Pat, Thank you for letting us know you..RIP

Fair winds and following seas Patrick.

God Bless Pat and his loved ones, I am sad for the loss of the earthy Pat, but I smile and take comfort in knowing the joy he feels now.

This morning is not so different from numerous other days of recent months, in that I find I am thinking of Mr. Patrick Malone, and there are sometimes tears being shed; the only difference is, if there happen to be a few extra flowing on this day, that's because now some are ones of joy, to know that my friend's long battle is over and he can be at Peace.

Even on the first day Pat is gone from us, he continues to find ways to touch me anew, through Paul's wonderful recounting of how Pat said this thread saved him from feeling alone, and how it has been such a great year he wouldn't have traded it for being well; and Howard telling us about Pat's wish, if he must die this way, to give everything he had to give to others in the process. I think it's a safe bet that Pat gave even more than he imagined he was capable of, and I'm sure he'd say the same about this community regarding what it gave him (and each other, and ourselves). Well he'd be right: I think we all gave, and took, and learned, and accomplished more here than we - certainly I - could have imagined back at the start. And for that we can all be thankful.

Thanks too, to Audiogon, for hosting perhaps the most 'off-topic' (but really, I might suggest, the most pertinent) thread in their history in the single best way they could have done - not, I suspect, because they had to, even though it may not have been so feasible an option to have done otherwise - but because they wanted to. The thread is representative of the best that Audiogon has helped to be brought out within, and brought to, all of us, and that is something to be proud of.

Rest easy, Pat, and thank you: I realize I didn't know you all that well (nor you me), and we may not have shared all the same beliefs, but you are an example to me, imperfections included, of a man who deeply understood - and let himself learn - how to Be, plain and simple, even though life is not plain and simple, as you were not either, as any of us are not. We can call it some kind of grace, or wisdom; it is Love, and may it continue to fill and sustain Barb and your family and friends for the days and years yet to come. May that be the way for us all.

Happy listening always, Alex.

Barb and Amanda you are in our thoughts and may God bless you.

As I sat here with tears running down my cheeks I remembered a poem, which seemed to described the essence of Patrick. I never meet him in person but did email and talk to him a couple of times and read this thread almost daily. Pat struck me as a kind, selfless, caring, and humble person. A person who may have looked in that mirror of life and realized that he not only befriended numerous people but also himself in how this thread had touched so many lives in a very special way.

The Man in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you king for a day,

Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, mother, spouse, child or boss,
Whose judgment upon you must pass,

The fellow whose judgment verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people might think you’re a straight-shootin’ chum,
And call you wonderful guy,

Others may feel you are a two-faced crumb,

But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum,
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end.

And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats or jabs on the back as you pass.

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
-Anonymous

R.I.P. Lugnut and thank you all for sharing your stories and thoughts with everyone over the past eleven months.

Lou and Gina Bruno

What a brave and generous soul. I've been following this thread for months without knowing quite what to say. May you rest in peace Patrick knowing that you've made the lives of those you left behind richer for having known you in whatever small way we did.

Last night when I arrived at Pat’s house, I noticed that yard lights in the brick planters were on. Those were the ones that our friends from Nebraska/Iowa, Mick Maun and Steve Smith, had rebuilt for Pat this spring. As many times as I have been to Pat’s house, I can’t remember ever seeing those lights shine as brightly.

Pat was barely conscious. I sat next to him and remembered the kid with the duck-tail haircut that I met in fourth grade. A few minutes later, Pat’s eyes fluttered, he spoke my name and reached out to shake my hand. I was so choked up (as now) that I could not reply. We shook hands and he faded away. He didn’t say another word in the hour that I was there. I spoke my last goodbye, left for home and now he is gone.

To all of you who have posted on this forum, who have called and e-mailed Pat, who have sent him equipment and music and who have offered their unconditional love and support, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I was there and can tell you that Pat was absolutely overwhelmed and appreciative to his last day. You all have meant the world to him. I know you feel as I do, that Pat has done so much for us that we can never pay him back. Paul, thank you again for being the catalyst of one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.

Pat---Long May You Run.

Goodbye Old Friend.

Bill

Many others have said it far more eloquent than I what Pat and Barb mean to us all. Pat has the rest and peace he deserves, as does Barb. Pat reminded us of what we would all like to be like, in the prime of our life, and the end. For what its worth, this quote always causes me pause to reflect

No man is an island, entire of itself; every
man is a piece of the continent, a part of the
main. If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory
were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or
of thine own were: any man's death diminishes
me, because I am involved in mankind, and
therefore never send to know for whom the bells
tolls; it tolls for thee."

John Donne

Rest Well

Gary

Thank you for finding the strength to pass the news on to us, Barb. Your husband was an incredibly special man who touched more lives just through this thread than many people do in a lifetime. I can only imagine how many more lives he touched on his journey to eternity in paradise.

As we determine to honor Pat in our daily lives and cherish his memory, so we vow to keep you and Amanda in our thoughts and prayers, and to furnish whatever help we can offer.

Pat and Barb,

I sit silent and mum......at a loss for words.......but in my silence, I can picture you .... that's all I want now.

All I can think of is your enthusiam, livelihood, encouragement, candidness, kindness and the support.

You also gave a new meaning to this site, and helped us share our inner feelings with you and amongst ourselves, hence getting closer to each other.

Thanks for the big hug you gave me when we first met in San Francisco. I cherish that so much.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Nami, Sora, Mehran

"He was a man, take him for all in all,
I shall not look upon his like again."

--William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Deepest and most sincere condolences to the family.
This has been a special thread.

Rest in peace our audio friend......

Chris
South Africa

Pat, I miss you, but grateful your suffering is over. It's hard for me and the others left behind that knew and loved you.

There never seems to be enough love to go around. Your were the exception. You opened your heart and shared yourself, creating more love than you took.

I will never forget the time we spent together, you enriched my life, made me laugh and filled me with joy.

No replacement for Lugnut, one of a kind, an original, a loving spirit with affection for family and friends that loved music and the joy and passion it brought into his life.

Thank you for being you, for being so honest and for being so true.

Patrick,
We will never forget you, nor fail to honor the spirit you awoke among us. For that good-hearted and courageous effort you are blessed. Thank you and rest in peace.

Barbara,
We are sharing your pain at Patrick's death, but also your joy knowing that his suffering is over. Our deepest condolences as you make your way through these difficult hours and days.

Thank you for the news of Pat's passing. May he rest in peace, and his loved ones be well and happy.

Paul says Pat thought this thread saved him from feeling alone. Well, Pat wasn't the only one. I realize that, through Pat's thread, "Pat's loved ones" includes me... as it does so many. I am very grateful indeed for that.

God bless us all.

As I read the news of Pat's passing to a new life, I find myself tearing up. I know he is at home now and has found the love we all will find, yet my sadness persists. I will miss the spirit we have all gained insight from.

I can only imagine the hole in Barbs life. The friendships developed over this past year will help to fill the loss, but replacing such a great soul is not possible.

Thank you Paul for inviting us into this magnificent mans life. Thank you Barb for allowing us to stay and share your growth. And above all, thank you Pat for your immense unselfishness and your incredibly bright guiding light. We have all gained.

Amazing...

When I was visiting Pat & Barb a couple of weeks ago, Pat said that he'd spoken with God shortly after being diagnosed, saying, "Please use me up. Use my life to give life to others." And he did just that. Ironically, not only did Pat take us to an appreciation of our own, individual lives, but he courageously elevated this experience to a whole other level. Sitting here, grateful as ever for having met the man, I'm clear that what Pat gave us through this experience--and will CONTINUE to give us through this experience--is a much larger, more loving and vulnerable perspective on life itself, of which humanity is just one component, and into which each one of us has been so delicately placed. He openly embraced his life, so that we all could come to know life itself.

Thank you, Pat & Barb, for being who you are. And thank you all, for being so loving.

My thoughts and prayers.

May God be with Pat, his family and friends.

This is thread is a touching reminder of a journey I took with my wife some six years ago. Sad, hopeful, powerful, life changing. Thank you all for sharing.

An Irish Blessing that puts me in mind of what Pat might be thinking right now:

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.
The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

RIP, Pat.

Best to you always, Barb.
David Finnegan

R.I.P., Patrick Paul Malone, our beloved Lugnut. May you and God have a wonderful listening session this day and the days to come...I will see you, my friend.

With Sadness Yet Relief For No More Pain,
Mary

I was amazed on several occasions when Pat told me that he would not trade away his experience for his waning health. So many hang onto what they cannot keep.

Jim Elliot once said "He is not fool who gives up what he connot keep, to gain that which he cannot loose." Jim Elliot was murdered by the Auca indians in South America that he came to help. He and his friends had guns and could have defended themselves, but for the benefit of the killers, they did not.

Pat has blazed a trail that everyone eventually follows, but few of us have really considered. He did it with bravery and dignity, through the grace of God. He will never see these words, but nonetheless, I offer my thanksgiving, for living and dying like a man, a great man. I will miss Pat, but I plan to see him again!

PATRICK PAUL MALONE

NOVEMBER 10, 2005 7:15 AM

AT HOME WITH JESUS

God speed Mr. Lugnut. May God hold you safely in his arms...

Patrick Malone: 1950--2005

Pat passed peaceably this morning about 9:15 am Eastern Time. He died as he lived, confident in a loving God and surrounded by his beloved wife Barb, his daughter Amanda, his sister Mary, and other dear family members. A wonderful human being is gone from us, my friends.

While this thread has nominally been about Pat's cancer and the road it took him on, on a deeper level it has been about spirituality: the sense of being connected, through thoughtfulness and love, to beings beyond ourselves. Barb shared Pat with us, Pat shared himself with us, and we shared ourselves with Pat and Barb. We talked about life, love, God, the great beyond ... and about the music, which in the latter stages provided Pat with greater sustenance than the few calories he could ingest.

This thread, and all that it spawned, was a great joy to Pat. When it was started, Pat told me he felt it saved him from something terrible. When I asked him what, he replied "I don't know." Closer to the end, Pat realized what it was: he was saved from feeling alone.

This community rallied behind Pat in a miraculous way that few of us could have ever imagined. In the last 16 months, Pat has gone on more vacations -- assisted by the unfledging generosity of many of you -- than in any previous time in his life. Trips to Nebraska, Florida, Texas, San Francisco, Seattle and Denver were part of this joyous itinerary, and he met many members in the process. So too, this community caused music to lovingly flow into Pat's and Barb's home, presenting them with a heavenly smorgasbord of both equipment and recordings. Even up to the last, Pat was exploring the wonders of previously unknown music, while still holding dear that music he had always treasured most.

Lest any of you doubt just how meaningful and important this thread has been to Pat and Barb, let me share with you a remarkable thing Pat told me just a few days ago. We were talking about what a great year it had been despite the cancer ... what a way to go out! Pat said: "It has been great. I wouldn't trade it for being well."

He wouldn't trade it for being well. Remarkable ... and yet, so like Pat, because in addition to being a music lover and audiophile, Pat was a people person. He loved people, and this showed in all his relationships, from that with his beloved Barb and other family members, to even the most casual relationships with store clerks. His love for life and for people fairly oozed out of him. He couldn't suppress it, for it was him.

This, surely, is a time for sadness. But let's not forget that it is also a time to celebrate the man, all that he shared with us, and all that we shared with him. Sleep well, my friend ... dream well ... and keep that heavenly sweet spot warm for us. God bless Pat, God bless Barb, and God bless you all.

-Paul

Well Pat old buddy, I always did get the feeling that you kinda wanted more tubes in your system, but not like this!...(heck, you've probably told that one already ;^)

My family's thoughts and prayers are with you.

Chris

This thread is simply a wonderful thing. For example, I just read Musicdoc's post - now that's the way to start one's day. In celebration of the reality of love, of the "greater self."

That Pat and Barb share such an intimate time has been the catalyst to bring our "greater selves" forward in a public forum. It reassures me to find so many people pointed in this direction. Think of this: right now I feel deep love, compassion and connection because a man and woman I do not personally know shared themselves and people responded in kind. This is magic, a little miracle all unto itself. Me, just an anonymous guy on a forum, inspired toward a place of greater beauty as a result of seeing so many of you unveil your "greater self."

I especially pray that Pat & Barb are riding in this slipstream of connection and find themselves immersed in the fabric of love, itself.

Despite all you have gone through Pat, you do not deserve any more. clearly your just too damn ornery.
I pray God brings you home now, this is too painful...

Barb,

Please tell Pat that we thought of him at Albert Porter's listening session last night. It choked me up when Albert fired up his amazing system with Neil Young's latest vinyl release, "Prairie Wind"...even though I have never met Pat, I felt his presence with us. Please give Pat a big hug from us all...

God Bless,
Mary

God bless you Pat, Barb, and all the tubes operating, and the musical tunes and yr love for one another...

Barb and Lugnut,
Thanks for posting these updates. We know how hard it is for you right now and your consideration in taking the time and energy for us is very much appreciated. We hang on every word you post.

to the relief of suffering, to the brighter world that lay beyond i pray. this life is but a part of a greater journey, this body but a vehicle for the greater self. fear not, trust in those that love and that which is love itself.

Barb, excuse me for saying so, but a little bird told me the name of your new puppy. When are you going to spill it publicly? :-)

Pat, Gina was in the kitchen preparing some fresh cooked squash for our dogs, when suddenly she ran upstairs, very upset. She said she had felt your presence in the room, and asked me to call to make sure that you were OK. Your sister Mary said you were resting comfortably, more so than last night. Sleep well, my friend, and dream freely.

Barb,I sure hope Pat is able to have some comfort and rest tonight,,,my heart,prayers and love is with you all.Ray

Barb, thank you for being...

Hi again everyone - This morning Pat was hooked up to an oxygen tank to ease his breathing struggles. (So that makes tube #3 now.) This afternoon we took him back to the hospital to have more fluid removed from his abdomen. He is so sweet - he apologizes everytime he thinks he gets alittle cranky at us. We were up with him all night last night so I hope tonight will be better. Until next time. Reporting from Pat's computer. Barb

Pat and Barb,
You are in my prayers. May God bless you and watch over you.

- jeff

Pat,

Fair winds and seas to follow

.
Pat & Barb,
.
You are continually in my thoughts and prayers.
.
Love,
Larry
.

Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak Whispers the o're-fraught heart, and bids it break.
--William Shakespeare The Tragedy of Macbeth, IV, iii

Thanks for the update Paul - in this age - anyone who doubts that anonymous humanity exists need look no farther than this thread.

I am and have been praying for a comfortable transition to Pats next (real) life.

It brings up a lot of sorrow to read about his discomfort, and to consider the sadness that Barb and Amanda will experience. If only there were a way to easy the pain of others...

Thank you for the update, Paul. Pat, Barb & Amanda are in our thoughts all hours of the day, and night.
Love,
Gina & Howard

I spoke with Barb last night and today. We weren't sure if Pat would see today, but he's still on this side, with us. Pat is in a great deal of discomfort, and he's too weak to take phone calls. This obviously is a difficult time for Pat, Barb, Amanda and other members of his family ... and for us as well, with whom Pat has bravely shared his story, and who have cheered his every triumph and held our breaths at news of every downturn.

I will have more to say at another time, but please know that you all have meant the world to Pat. Please join me in praying for Pat's comfortable journey, and for the family's healing.

Warmest regards,
Paul

Good morning Pat, Barb and all of you wonderful people that are involving your lives in this process. The best and most needed medicine is love and caring. I see a lot of it out there. Please do not get frustrated that there seems to be nothing you can do. There is so much all are doing, and it is all good. You are all a gift.

Pat, I hope your day is peaceful. That your music is beautiful. And that love abounds and fills your house.
dav

Ev'rything must change
Nothin' stays the same
Ev'ryone must change
No one stays the same

The young become the old
And my'stries do unfold
'Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no-one goes unchanged

There are not many things in life you can be sure of
Except______

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummin' birds do fly

Winter turns to spring
A wounded heart will heal
But never much too soon
Yes,ev'rything must

There are not many things in life you can be sure of
Except ______

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummin' birds do fly

There are not many things in life you can be sure of
Except______

Rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And music makes me cry.

B. Ighner copyright
Quincy Jones- Body Heat LP

I hope this helps makes some sense of your situation. It is a beautiful song. e mail me off this thread if you would like a copy of this lp.

Pat & Barb my apologies as I have been without email access since Nov. 2nd as we have moved and this is the first opportunity to revisit the thread as phone & DSL was just installed again today. However prayers for you continued without interruption and will continue to do so.

God Bless you both.

Barb,

Though many of us have gone through similar tragedies we can't know what this feels like to you or yours.
One thing we can do is Listen. In many ways I think just listening, really listening, to someone is one of the greatest expressions of friendship. We are here to listen for as long as you need us.

The love of mankind is all around us now. The hug from the flower delivery gal, dinner delivered by the neighbors, cards of blessings in the mail, phone calls with prayers, and of course this ongoing thread of friendship!

Pat is very weak, his eyelids are heavy, his breathing is deep, but he never forgets to thank me with that gentle grin. He enjoys our conversation with laughter around him and still states his opinion with only one or two soft words. He is still attending to every little detail around him and he expects his nurse to tell him a joke at each visit. Now we are surrounded by the love of God. Keep looking up. Barb

John 14:2-3

I've been following this thread since its inception though have I've not posted since I really can't think of anything to say that has not already been said. I will say this though; this is one of the most touching threads I've ever read anywhere on the web.

May God continue you bless you both Pat and Barb. I know we have been blessed by your presence here.

Prayers and thoughts throughout the day.