Headstone

They have a "speaker" urn on Etsy.

Mine would read...

"If I liked it I would be disappointed."

DeKay

(@ 2:44 am)

F*** the Police

Oak tree you're in my way. (grammar police)

Whiskey Bottles ,

And brand new cars,

Oak tree your in my way...

"Here I lie. Unfortunately, there is no God. Only worms."

They are a bunch of party poopers.

I could hear them now "You have to be dead",

BUT why?

Because.

Because why?

Look Mister we live on a busy street for a reason. If you time it just right coming out of Mass from across the street a car will knock you right in our parking lot..  You're done. Curbside pickup to boot.

Now go away kid ya bother me..

I'm planning on a full Viking send off with the burning pyre on a boat launched to the sound of Steppenwolf. Of course, my corpse will be wearing a horned helmet. 

I keep getting these solicitations from a local crematorium. Like "buy now," "it's later than you think," etc. I was tempted to call them and ask if they'd give me a really big discount if I just walked in and they did me. 

Confusion will be my epitaph.

Well that beats "I'm just a bug on the windshield of life"

"He's Dead" "You can deal with him"

Regards

Won't get fooled again.

Hark now, hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly
Into the mystic

I liked to be stoned

As Jerry Lee Lewis sang, Don't Put No Headstone On My Grave.

"Baby what I say?"