Hi Pat and everyone:
I really hope that you fell good enough to enjoy the concert tonight. Looking forward to short review.
I must say I have to swallow a number of times reading your daily logs but I find something so special in them that I have to come back. I only wish, like everyone, that you were not paying such a price.
Re your comment above that "Honestly I think the guy [Albert Porter]would trade all his gear for a Wave radio and my returned health if he could." I think I can honestly say we'd all do that in a blink and go back to am radio too boot. I never had the chance to meet Albert but never mind the "hifi"...I have feeling he'd hack a limb off if it would help.
Here's hoping you get a good concert in this week-end.
I remain,
Clueless |
I'm really glad to hear about you getting that fluid out! That must have incredibly increased your comfort level. While I understand that you are probably never very comfortable, any improvement is good!
I hope you plan to review the show for us tomorrow.
Pat, I'll Shanghi your thread for a few minutes since you asked me to report my findings with the Starsound rack.
FedEx delivered it yesterday. True to form, one of the boxes was broken open and the top shelf was damaged on the front edge, where it will be seen everytime someone looks at it! It is certainly a two man (or one woman) job. I realized after I went past them that two of the shelves are upside down. Having only three legs makes it much easier to put all the ICs and PCs into place.
The rack certainly isolates the sound. Images and sounds are smaller, and more detailed. At one point I was listening to a U2 LP where they do a song with 'Voices of Freedom' where there was a vocalist easily three feet outside the boundry of the speakers. I have listened to this track a lot of times and have never heard this happen before.
I am very happy with the results of putting the Starsound rack in place. People can argue whether or not this design is effective, but I have heard the results and it is well worth the cost. My results were similar to what you found when you added the Audiopoints!
Well, my brother, you remain, as always, in my prayers!
PS that was your phone!!! |
Not depressing, this is life and you are our portal to reality. Thanks for being you Pat |
Howard's a great guest. Told him to make himself at home and he is. Old Lugnut has been so casual all his life that he'd expect a visiting nun to put her feet up on the coffee table and go dig around in the refrigerator for some munchies. Hey, and he even tolerated listening to the transistors that, unfortunately, are still in my system. The turntable is safe since he'd have to pry it out of Barb's hands and she has two while Howard has only one. Besides, he most likely aspires to a more audiophile appoved device. The LP12 is noisy, lots of pops and clicks, no imaging and a lack of detail that rivals my early 60's VW Bug am radio. Every time you walk across the concrete floor to flip a record you have to readjust the suspension. Funny though that he wasn't begging to listen to the CDP. He is polite.
Life is interesting. Some of you guys have noticed how I look at my condition in a somewhat detatched way. I find the process interesting but I'm getting to the point where "detached" may no longer be possible. There aren't any breaks from it anymore unless you count time I'm actually asleep. I'm acutely aware of what's going on every waking moment. The pain is controlable. Most of the discomfort is not. The discomfort is pretty constant and I don't think any of it can be outsmarted. I really want you guys to realize that how you look, act and speak can and will be used against you when you communicate with a health care professional. In many ways if one were to wallow in self pity and overstate their misery level you would get better care. Here's a great example. My Hospice nurse visited on Tuesday or Wednesday. Can't remember. She had a lot of questions and during the course of our conversation I mentioned that part of my problem must be fluid build up in the abdominal cavity. She looked at me and dismissed it out of hand because of the appearance of my stomach area. She then told me of another person, a woman, that she cares for suffering from the same malignancy. Apparently this woman truly looks pregnant. This kind of set me off. Not that I got utterly rude but I was close to firing her right then. I was wearing some jeans at the time this conversation too place and I explained to her that a few weeks ago I could button my jeans and have 4" or so of clearance. Hell, I could just grab them and pull them down to my ankles without unbuttoning them. Now, after no food and losing around another 12 pounds I was about 4" shy of being able to button them. Still, I look pretty trim if only I could stand up straight. Well, yesterday shortly after Howard arrived I got a phone call from the closest hospital telling me to come in asap for an ultrasound. Bottom line is they inserted a tube, hooked up a couple of vacuum bottles and removed 1 1/2 liters of fluid. This relatively simple proceedure has offered me a lot of relief. It should have been done sooner and should be done again when needed. Man, it's frustrating thinking that having a good attitude and being pleasant works against you.
I've also requested trying some other types of pain medication just because. Without eating or drinking the meds I now take are pretty hard on whatever stomach I have. If I throw up because I'm taking pain meds then we need to change them anyway. Might as well find out now what will and will not work. There are a lot of options and I don't think any one is better at managing pain than another. It's just a matter of which fits your condition better.
There's a possibility that the fluid removal may allow me to eat and drink a little better. I'll find that out today. I sure hope I can. This is no exaggeration. If I can't eat a little better I'm going to stand up one day soon and go down like a ton of bricks. I feel near to doing so several times a day as it is. That would be the point where I'd need someone with me all of the time. I get a little bit of comfort being able to motivate on my own and want to postpone needing full time assistance as long as I can.
I can pretty much promise that I'll attend the concert tonight. I'm looking forward to it and would be very happy if the three of us did this together. Howard's such a sweet guy that I think he'd remember it for the rest of his life.
Albert called last night. Like so many people that care about me he is really frustated that something can't be done. Honestly I think the guy would trade all his gear for a Wave radio and my returned health if he could. Albert, and anyone else that feels so terribly helpless, remember that just talking to you makes me feel so much better even if it's for a short while. (Note to Nate: you need to postpone your next upgrade and buy a phone that sounds close to tolerable) LOL.
Sorry if reading this stuff is depressing. It's about all my life consists of so I don't have much else to report. I am okay in spite of how I sound and I'm not depressed.
Those Star Sound/Systrum racks are as good as you've read Nate. From what I've heard with my own ears they are the end of the road. |
Geez Howard,at least wait untill Pats gone before you snag his TT,,,Hope you all have a good visit!Peace and love,Ray |
I'm thankful he's coming and hope to influence him to pick up on an analog front end. Pick up an analog front end? Heck, I'm gonna wait 'til you're napping and take yours! |
Pat, I have read your love of good music and audio and friends. I hope you will be able to attend the upcoming concert. I also know how much you enjoy the love and friendship you experience in your life. But I have a question for you.
Have you ever thought of what the music might sound like in the afterlife? I bet it will be amazing. Maybe the word Heavenly won't even do it justice. Maybe God bless and keep you until then. You are a truly a very blessed man!!
Steve |
Pat, I sure hope you can get out to enjoy some good live music this weekend. You remain, as always, in my prayers.
Warren, how about those Star Sound/Systrum racks??? |
Thank you Pat. I'd sit in the barrel again to hear those words from you....peace my friend... |
LOL. Methinks Doug was smart enough to not post to a thread I wasted my time on. Hey, I might be long in the tooth, kind of drugged up and sick but I'm learning, I think. For sure, there are better things to do than respond to uuhm, aahh, those kinds of posters.
And, Warren I don't blame you for lurking around in the background after the merciless beatings you took for choosing Star Sound products. Their stuff isn't cheap but it represents a huge value in the long run and stops the revolving door of equipment in ones life. Yeah, their stuff is that good, especially those speakers!
So, Clueless, you've discovered the answer to one of life's great mysteries. Realization that the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. Ahh, enlightenment.
Thanks Lou.
Sorry I haven't written more earlier this week but I've been sick. I've got a written excuse. Boa2 (Howard) is arriving early this morning to visit for a couple of days. Remember, Howard showed Barb and I such a great time in San Francisco. Man, I wish I could show him a good time here. I'm sure he knows exactly what this is going to be like. I'm also sure that the visit will pick me up. I'm thankful he's coming and hope to influence him to pick up on an analog front end. His system just screams for one. I scored a third seat to the symphony on Friday evening too, thanks to Glen, one of my audio club members. If we can pull it off then Howard's trip may have something to remember other than me being sick. Barb has the day off so we'll probably do some listening that's longer than usual.
Please say a prayer or cross your fingers in hope that this will be an enjoyable visit. Have a good one and post away. I won't be posting much but love reading what you guys have to say. |
Hi Pat and everyone,
I am sorry for not responding earlier but I was out of town for over a week and have just caught up on this thread.
The entire thread had been copied and pasted to a word file. I have also gone through most of it and cleaned up all misspelled words except when slang was actually the preferred way to go. I have cut out all link lines under the person's name. Where Lugnut speaks I have offset that in a different font and color making it easier to read Pat's comments/responses quickly. I do plan on offering it on cdR to whoever wants it for the cost of a mailer and postage, or in a zip file for free. The reason for this is that I have picked up the pictures too.
As Pat has stated I plan on presenting a printed copy of this thread to Barb with a very special rememberance inspired by the spirit of this community or dare I say tribe of loving thoughtful people.
Peace, love and blessings,
Lou |
Hi Pat and all:
Thanks Alex but I am clueless. It's a little ironic (I'm sure, on the other hand, some of you don't tink it ironic at all - hehe) how true that handle turns out to be and in such a different, deeper, and more meaningful way.
I'm decent at some of the little piddley sh** in life
but I feel, likely like some of the rest of you, that I'm getting a life-lesson in the larger-heroic stuff here.
Despite what you say above Pat (and it's very generous of you) about the others here being brave... You are the Leader and Light here for us all.
Hoping that concert is great!
Cheers all,
I remain,
Clueless |
Hi Doug; quite the contrary, your short story needs no forgiving - it is most salutory, and a swell prescription!
Hi Warren: 'Audiogon ennui' - I like that. I've always had audiophile ennui...
Hi Michael (Swampie): Ditto me on a religious aspect, but also on what I'm getting.
Hmmm...seems 'Clueless' may not be so much after all :-) |
Doug, thanks for the kind words. I never left the 'gon. Been browsing mostly. Audiogon ennui sets in every so often. This thread, however, has been so emotional, insightful, provocative, gut wrenching and most of all: inspirational. I'm proud to be apart, if mostly, in spirit. The cream has risen to the top. It's a beuatiful (God) thing...peace, warren |
I've just read a somewhat unpleasant post on another thread. After wasting time, energy and karma typing and deleting a dozen hard-edged responses, something brought me here instead.
Better to breathe again deeply of Lugnut's spirit than to add any unpleasantness to our world. Thank you Patrick and all of you, just for being. Just reading today's newest posts stilled the voice of anger and argument. Please forgive me for even mentioning it here.
P.S. It's great to know that Warrenh and Zaikesman are still around. Both of them helped me out in past years, sharing their experiences and knowledge freely and generously. Hi guys. |
Michael,
I think that is a wonderful idea. Go for it! |
Pat, I am just going to let this rip. I read your narrative with awe, and want to communicate back. It feels a little awkward to talk of such personal things in a public forum, but you are the trailblazer and I am just walking in the path you cut.
I think the two qualities I read you experiencing are faith and surrender. I think it takes this kind of big experience to contemplate something as wild-assed as our own death. I have periods where I experience faith as the complete solution to the deepest questions I have asked. It's not just faith in a noun, or even in a concept. It's more visceral than that. If I had to put it into words, it would be that "God Is," that there is a source of my own consciousness beyond my ego and will, and it feels like Love, itself. Closely aligned with it is gratitude, and the desire to serve. I do nothing to earn this wonderous perception - I can't manufacture it via my effort- but it exists because what I'll call God exists. The natural emotion is one of worship and celebration. At last, eureka, I am not just an ego efforting my way uphill. And so surrender is part and parcel of it - maybe also said, alignment of my will with that which I worship. Of course, I fail at this more often than not, but that's not the point. Forgiveness and redemption are abundant, and a part of the process. Touching into this is precious.
The reason I am writing about it is simply to celebrate with you this discovery, for you in your terms & for me in mine, that we both, and countless others, of all faiths, in all times, have stumbled upon. It takes the sting away; it leaves one able to love, at last. I hope as you read it, some of what I feel now is shared, a celebration of that which is holy. Chuck |
I had the privelge of wasting an hour of Pat's time this evening. What a joy it is to be encouraged by his peaceful demeanor, and calm thoughtful words, and strength of faith.
Patrick,I hope you have fun tonight listening to tunes with Barb and your friends.
I certainly hope your weekend plans work out properly too. |
Hi:
re saving this thread.
I put it into a single MSword doc like Alex noted is possible. It's really not too hard. This saves all the links to folks in a "live" fashion. You can click on them in the word doc and it brings you to the link.
1)Open an empty (new) document in MSword.
2)Now..go into your browser to Agon to the top post for a given page and left click on the date of the first post like Alex describes. This opens all of the text of the messages on a given page.
3)Hold down the left click on the mouse with cursor on date of first post ( or you can start elsewhere as explained below) and, w/ left click held down, scroll (pull cursor down with mouse) down to the end of the page. This should turn the text blue. Lift up on left click when done.
4) With all text blocked blue, right click with cursor on any part of the blue text. In the menu that displays left click on "copy."
5) Go into word doc and right click when you have the cursor where you want the text to start. In the menu that displays left click on "paste." You have the text in a word doc.
When you add the second page to the Word doc make sure the cursor is at the end of the first page before you click "paste."
You can save the text in at least a couple formats. If your cursor is on the date of the first post when you begin scrolling down you do not get the yellow Agon format. If you start scrolling with the cursor on on "Responses" in the dark band that heads each page (or a few other areas) you save in Agon yellow background format.
Hope this helps. I tried to proof these instructions. If it doesn't work for someone drop me an email. Word docs can be easily attached to emails.
I remain,
Clueless |
I hope I am not over stepping my bounds here but I have made a Word doc of this complete thread to date. With Pat and Lou's permission I will distribute it to any one that would like a copy. Warning it is 266 pages long and 1.17MB.
You can email me through Audiogon. Again I will do this only after I have Pat and Lou's permission.
I guess technically I should have everyones permission before distributing this.
Michael |
Pat- I've been absent for a while in terms of participating, but you are never far from my mind. I check in on as often as I can, and usually with a combination of eager anticipation and fear. Anticipation to share a bit of the amazing humanity that pours out of this virtual conservation, fear that I am going to read that you have been having a an especially tough time while I have been away. I am most sad that I could not get to RMAF; I was sure I could go and you said you were not sure that you would be up for it; and it turned out the other way around. My family needed me that weekend and so I missed out on what must have been a terrific time and the chance to put a voice and face on the "Lugnut" handle. Speaking for myself, I know I am getting far more than I am giving. I'm not a religous man so I can only say that you and your "gene pool" are never far from my thoughts. As I've said before, the most remarkable thing (beyond your generosity and strong spirit) is the way this group has used the most anonymous of media to facilitate a deep, communal experience. I will always treasure this; it has been one of the most amazing things I've ever been witnessed. Perhaps I may have taken it very personally due to my wife's recent bout with breasst cancer, and also because one of my colleagues and friends also went down the very same path you are on, about 10 years ago. Best Regards, Michael |
One of the members here, Lou is making a book for us out of the thread. I've asked him to offer it at some price for you guys. No, this has never been his intent, he was just being incredibly nice to Barb and my gene pool. It would be nice for the message to live on as I've said many times. Anyone out there has my permission to use anything that I've posted. My point is only that this is a supernatural event and the message of love is so evident here beyond anything that could spring forth from this world that it should be shared. It's not about me, audio or much of anything other than we all connected in the manner we were meant to. Whatever floats the collective boat is okay with Lugnut. |
Nate: I'm no expert either, so if anyone wants to amend this to something simpler or better, or to correct any mistakes I may have made, please have at it...
For each page of the thread (the operation has to be repeated separately for every page), click on the date of the first response to open and display all the responses for that page. Then click on "File" in the toolbar, and click on "Save As". When the dialog box opens the cursor will be blinking on the highlighted "File Name" line - press either "Home" or "End" on your keyboard and then type in the current page number (at either the beginning or the end of the title, respectively), because all the pages can't have the same title when saved. Then choose your save destination at the "Save In" line - probably somewhere within "My Documents" if you're saving directly to your computer's internal hard drive, or the external recordable media drive of your choice to save it outside your computer (you can also do this later once saved to your hard drive to back it up, which you'll want to do if it's important for you to archive this for a long time) - and then click the "Save" button. (This will save the page in the original HTML web format which is easiest to view. You could, in a more complicated operation, copy and paste the plain text into Word and combine everything into one document, but I think staying with this graphic appearance and putting up with the separate pages is the preferable method.) Once saved on your hard drive, the pages can be opened offline by clicking on "Start" and then "Documents", etc. for whichever page number you wish to view.
P.S. - Hi Craig, good to hear from you once again, especially here (I too am otherwise gone :-) |
Nrchy,
Many email or discussion board threads have auditing capabilities built in at the server level (the level of detail varies however). Perhaps someone at Audiogon can talk to their IT department (or whoever they may outsource their server administration to) and get an electronic file burned to a CDROM that contains all the messages in the thread. |
This might not be the right place to ask, but does anyone know how a person could save this whole thread and all the responses? I'm not real big on computer stuff, and I don't know how to do anything but print the one page which is open... |
...it's a God thing. I read the Lugnut thread like I read my daily meditation and do my daily prayers. I don't chime in, but have followed you from the getgo. Rare for me, with the loquacity/ego gene-- not to put my 2 cents in. Lugnut, I will miss this thread when you're gone....I may never see anything like this again...
peace,
warren :) |
Mmmmmmmmmmm Cooked peas... and you say your not a saint. |
Temptation. Good temptation. Temptation that challenges. That's what's on my plate today. But first, some general news as an update. We'll get to the rest of the story later.
I mentioned earlier that we had visited with a Hospice nurse and made our arrangements but hadn't yet begun the scheduled visits. Late last week I received a follow-up phone call with the basic purpose being to determine if we should start the visits. I told her I felt that since I could, for the most part, care for myself and motivate around the house without assistance that it was too soon but I did have an issue that concerned me. I went into limited detail about my eating and drinking issues, kind of wondering how long my body could tolerate the situation. She wanted to know what it is I eat so I explained that because I eat so very little I just get a small amount of whatever it is Barb is fixing, explaining also that Barb tries to fix things that are easy on me. I'm never tempted by meat or dairy as she doesn't prepare them any longer. This gal got a little annoyed with me saying that I just eat a little of...whatever. Then, she told me I should eat things that are super easy to digest like yogurt, applesauce and over cooked peas. Well, I did alter my diet and the verdict is not out yet on this change but at times I do eat a little more and it seems I want and do drink more than before. Is this good news? I don't know but I'll keep it up.
Saturday (Barb's birthday) wasn't a good day at all for me. Yesterday though I woke up feeling better than usual and was groomed by 10 am. We had a friend and his entire family of wife and three kids stop by unannounced and enjoyed a great visit. This was one of those gifts from God that I'm most thankful for. I've witnessed before in this thread but feel that I shouldn't go overboard in fear that I'd push someone of another faith or one that's on the outer fringes of faith away from it. With that thought in mind I'll keep this short and offer up at this time that I'm just explaining how amazing it is to find my existence filled with gifts that I can only explain are supernatural. Ray is a cop but also an assistant pastor at a local church. I've never attended this church because I don't want my current beliefs questioned, causing me doubt, or make anyone else question their beliefs if I were to express mine. Besides, I've found through the years that organized religion is all too often a business and that the message is used as a control of the customers. There are countless churches out there that don't fit in that box I've put them all in. I know this. When this family sat down I seemed to have my message once again pour out of me and expressed a desire for feedback. It was a very emotional experience for me. At times Ray would speak and intertwine what I was experiencing with gospel narratives reinforcing this is the way it should be. One of his detailed remarks was of a sermon he was working on that tied into exactly what was happening to me. This was uncanny in that of all the things one could sermonize about, this subtle aspect could go a lifetime without even being addressed. Again, this was a great visit that contained yet another message for me.
A fellow that I contracted with to do long term maintenance of our trees and shrubs decided to work in our yard for the day. To make a long story short, the interuptions prevented me from napping. A couple of friends who had scheduled a visit came over and we talked about a lot of stuff, laughed and had a generally good time. It was a good day.
In between the two groups that came over I fielded a phone call from a stereo club member, the guy that provided us with symphony tickets a few weeks ago. He's really laid a challenge before me. The Boise Philharmonic will be playing in our town at a really great venue at the NNU campus which is about five minutes from where we live and we've been offered complimentary tickets once again. I'm so incredibly touched by this and really want to go. I'm sure that I'll need a wheelchair to prevent testing my endurance, but other than that getting cleaned up will be the only real challenge. Here's a brief description of this event. Help me get pumped up guys.
Maurice Ravel's "Mother Goose Suite"
Kevin Puts' "Marimba Concerto" featuring Naoko Tadaka
Dvoraks' Symphony No. 3
I'd never considered the mirimba as a concert intrument but I've always enjoyed xylophone and vibrapone in jazz. It seems it would be an interesting mix. Thoughts?
Alex, Zuma is my favorite Young album because of Cortez The Killer, IMO the best song he's ever done.
Nate, I conveyed your birthday wishes. Others sent such greeting via email.
Craig, maybe I'm just a retro kind of guy.
Albert, you are far from worthless. Each time we speak I feel reinvigorated. We talk of all those things that life's about with the freedom of expression reserved for close friends. I don't need to be politically correct with you or even measure my remarks. That is priceless and worth more than one can measure.
Davt, even I like the photos posted here of Barb and I.
You know, there are numerous reference to me using glowing terms I feel uncomfortable with. Let's turn this around for a moment to get my take on you guys expressed. I have no choice but to be where I am going through what this is. I didn't step into this situation as a goal for accomplishing something. It just is. You guys don't have to be a part of any of this. You come to this thread voluntarily. Many of you have called, mailed, emailed or made arragements for us to meet face to face. You guys keep coming back. And I know that it hurts to ponder the words I write. There is a lot of misery you guys are a part of and I know fully the emotional cost involved as this has unfolded before you. This isn't morbid curiosity either. Tears are shed often for the trials of old Lugnut. You guys keep on keepin' on. You don't have to, but you do. You are the brave ones, the ones that are trying to discharge some of your life forces into my life to help me along the way. In my mind you are trying so very hard to give a part of yourselves, ripping bits and pieces from your souls in sacrifice to mine hoping and trying to keep me afloat. You have succeeded. The time we have spent together in these threads have been some of the most important moments of my entire life. I have absolute confidence that you all will remain faithful. I didn't get that from a simple desire to have it. No, you have just shown me that this is the way you are. Being the overly curious guy that I am I'd really like to know the answers now about things that probably can't be answered, at least in this lifetime. How many people follow this thread and never post to it? Do you guys feel as I do that we are a part of something that is so rare and special it defies conventional wisdom? Whenever you read about someone just checking into Audiogon after a long absence and stumbling across this thread is your reaction like mine, kind of other-worldly? Is there a nagging desire inside of you for this message to continue like I have? Has anyone else connected the dots as I have concerning a supernatural control of what is unfolding before us?
Thanks to you guys for being who you are and for allowing me to be me. |
For those interested, and have not had the pleasure of gazing upon the handsom mug of Mr. Lugnut, check out the post by jphii 7/18/05. It's nice to put a smile to the words. Hope your finding peace this day Pat, Barb, and many friends. I hope the music is beautiful and finds a welcome home in the heart.
dav |
Pat,
I got your email, thank you. I wish I had some words of wisdom to impart to you but your so far ahead of me, I won't try.
Tell Barb I said "Happy Birthday." As a gift, perhaps she could be the "dancing girls" of your dreams in your own private party. That should motivate you enough to let your friends at Audiogon how your doing.
Wish I could be there to lend a hand, I'll call again soon. Hopefully my timing will be better next time. As always, I feel worthless, wish I could do something really good for you. |
Hi Pat:
And hi to Alex and Jade and Nrchy...nice to read your posts.
Ya Pat, we seem to push the technological side to the nth degree.
Talking about audio above you say "Whatever. Technological advances have taken us beyond any reasonable definition of enough in this regard."
This reminds me a little of what you say in the 10-19 post about your feelings about maybe applying to much technology in some medical situations.
Maybe it's just our "never enough" approach to things in this country when it comes to technological fixes.(not to discount the good sides of it all)
Great to hear you celebrated a BD.
I remain,
Clueless |
Pat, I hope you had a great time yesterday. Did you tell Barb 'happy birthday' for me? What kind of music does she like to listen to while celebrating? It's the software...!
You remain in my prayers. |
"Software is where it's at."....Amen. Pat, thinking of you yesterday while playing with a new toy of mine, I ripped from the vinyl album onto the Alesis Masterlink's hard drive my favorite Neil album I haven't heard too much of recently, 1975's "Zuma" (all numbers save for "Through My Sails", which IMO is overshadowed in this company, the smooth CSNY treatment not sitting well with me alongside the ragged but right Crazy Horse emotional exorcism of the rest). With the the pre-echo-announced intros and extended fadeouts digitally tidied-up and the track-to-track volume levels equalized, I set the remaining 8 songs on continuous loop play and proceeded to saturate at high volume with the house empty for the afternoon. I found that some stanzas from a couple of my favorite tunes therein brought you even more to my mind, despite the complete lyrics subsequently diverging from any analogous situation. But one valuable thing about good songwriting, you can personalize it as you find necessary... From "Barstool Blues" (with slight editing liberties taken): If I could hold on to just one thought
for long enough to know
Why my mind is moving so fast
and the conversation is slow
Burn off all the fog and let
the sun through to the snow
Let me see your face again
before I have to go
Once there was a friend of mine
who died a thousand deaths
He trusted in a woman
and on her he placed his bet From "Don't Cry No Tears": Don't cry no tears around me
Don't cry no tears around me
'Cause when all the water's gone
the feeling lingers on
Oh true love ain't too hard to see Meanwhile, my admiration for your hard-earned wisdom and honesty just keeps on growing - truly inspirational, considering what you've graced us with already and the effort required simply to write. (Please let us know if you ever want some ammo in particular to help reload the CDP, I'm sure somebody here can always assist.) |
Colitas,
Wow! I grew up in Gretna, went to school in Lincoln and worked in Omaha before moving here in '87. My sister still lives there. I don't miss the weather or the taxes. I really hated to leave my friends but either they come here or I've gone back often enough on vacations to ease the loss. I'm certain I won't be going back but if you are in this area (Boise) I'd love to have you over. Since you are vinyl based yourself I'd let you be in charge of operation. |
I believe Lugnut, you have hit the nail on the head! For myself, music in it's most moving form can be a spiritual experience(Coltrane does it for me, or some good shakuhachi music). It seems we have this goal in the beginning to amplify our experience with better equipment. Only to fall into pitfalls of getting the next best thing, all most like the junkies next fix. Thus losing the "soul" purpose in the begining, which was to be moved. It sounds like to me that you are ready to go "home" to the spirit world and will leave a great legacy here on this plane. When I say go, don't take it the wrong way, just that it feels like you have reached a place of peace within yourself and your life. I hope these words find you peacefull and full of Joy. P.S. if you are in Nebraska, drop me a line if you want someone to meditate with or play or pray with. I live in OMaha. |
Spirituality, indeed defines this thread. A higher power gave Paul the initiative to start this thread a year ago. It was fate that brought Pat into my life, I responded to something he said on another post about souls. Love continues the progression of this thread and with little doubt will continue it in most of our lives forever. Once we learn how important love for each other is, how could we go back?
Imagine theres no religion, it isnt hard to do
John understood the spirituality being shared here. There are no rules being place upon our love here. There is no judgment being place on the words we share, only love. This is God; He is here, teaching every one of us through an experience we share through Pats life.
Future interactions will happen, and they will be forever altered by this thread. I doubt it will be confined in this thread, I expect it will permeate every aspect of each of our lives. This is Gods work. We need no religion telling us how to love one another or share an experience together. This is spirituality and no matter what we are taught by man, this will carry through all religions, for this is love, and our souls are love.
As years pass, we will never forget the lessons learned from Pats experience. Pat, you will never die, and the people you have touched will never be the same. Our job, as we proceed into the next chapter of life is to carry what we have learned to everyone we meet. If we truly feel the love and spirituality shared here, and if our lives really have been changed, than it is not possible to go backwards. God is love, and the love we share here is God. If we keep Pat in our hearts, his life will permeate thousands of other lives. The fact that this is an international forum means many religions, many beliefs; many backgrounds have found a common feeling, love. Share this every day, and the world will change.
Imagine
Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.
Written by: John Lennon
© Bag productions Inc.
Thanks Pat, I love you
|
Since my post of 10-19 my head has been reeling from the respones. Springbok, your post brought me to the point of sobbing uncontrollably several times. Honestly, it must have taken me an hour to read through it. To think that another human being thinks enough of me to post such thoughts moved me to a place I've never been before, even though (AGAIN) such praise is undeserved from my perspective. Mysteriously, I think I needed that crying session but don't ask me to explain. It's a very good feeling to know I'm thought of so highly. So, I guess I really did deserve to be drafted into the Springbok team?
Wdi, I am a believer and have expressed it here numerous times. This thread is connected to a supernatural power in such an obvious way that it's given me hope that everyone who reads this is moved closer to their own sprituality. Funny. Nobody has been critical of my witnessing here. Isn't that kind of supernatural in itself? Again, the message contained herein is a gift to everyone. It's not about me, music or you guys even though we are the active participants. We are being shown how to treat one another the way God intended. We are being provided with insights into an area where we cannot go and come back. Sugar Mountain has taken on a larger meaning with your mention of it and Neil's latest album, Praire Wind, and the song If God Made Me. I feel that song was written for my personal needs.
Jsonic, You have picked up on what has been nagging at me for some time and that is the need for this message to survive for as long as possible and shared with however many are drawn to it. (And no, I'm not at all bothered by being placed in the past tense. I've already gone through that shock in doing so myself awhile back. Yeah, I reacted strongly to it at that time but not anymore.) I don't know how best to do it. Many months ago I said that a book should be written and said that anyone is free to tell this story in any form. The fact that I'm a username is good. I'm pretty sure that the power that has influenced all of us will not die when I do and that someone will be moved to share it. Of that I'm confident and leave that in the hands of He that is directing this.
Steve, I'm pretty sure that I posted my own story about my father being in the process of dying and how I carried him to get an IV at a nearby medical facility. He was given another month of life by my action but paid dearly for it. I too have felt a lot of personal guilt for doing it but after witnessing how that extra time was put to such good use I've realized that Dad wouldn't have had it any other way. His last unresolved issue was brought before him and laid to rest. Be at peace because it is what it is.
Ted, you and I cried together at RMAF in your showroom. LOL. I wonder what all the other folks thought! Just kidding because you and I know that this was our time to be what God wants us to be with each other. I'm glad I got the chance to meet you and experience the size of your heart.
Ccryder, your last sentence says it all.
Okay Clueless, here goes. Gentlemen light your torches! I'll try to explain my ideal approach to what we enthusiasts are attempting to accomplish. I do need to qualify who it pertains to though. It doesn't include gear heads for the sake of being gear heads. You know, the folks that have had more pieces of gear than pieces of music.
I was so lucky to have grown up when I did, coming of musical age in the sixties. Luckier still to have an older sister and brother that shared their music with me before I developed my own path to travel on. Even my parents were influential playing their music from my very beginning. Mainly, my siblings and my parents were doing this for their own enjoyment and I just was tolerated. Still, I appreciate the experience.
A lot of you can probably relate to my connection of music and events through my life. The music has its own impact on me but is also profound in how it brings up the emotions when I first heard it. I love that way of measuring my life rather than counting the days. I'm really thankful that I wasn't concerned at all about the audiophile attributes of those recordings. If I'd been burdened with that stuff I would never have gained any real love for what was being created.
I've spent a lot of seat time listening to live music. At lot of it has been amplified. But I've listened to live unamplified music in many different environments. Symphony, small intimate theatre, outside, club, motel room and in my home. I'm an okay acoustic player and know exactly what my guitars sound like in total solitude. I know what it's like to listen to my voice recorded or that weird place of singing to oneself listening from inside and out at the same time.
I love detail, resolution, texture and tonal balance as much as anyone. Finding a black background where all of this springs forth from is the path toward inner and outer detail as well as hearing the leading edge of notes and their proper decay. Having these attributes in our systems is what it's all about but I fear few realize the danger of taking it too far and if taken far enough all of that great music we love from our earlier days becomes unplayable or at the very least uninteresting. I think it's time we admit this line exists or we risk losing that precious childish nature we have for the pure joy of the song.
I've known this for a very long time but rarely voice this opinion to other enthusiasts for fear of offending. Maybe it's more a function that I don't want to be rejected. Whatever. Technological advances have taken us beyond any reasonable definition of enough in this regard. It seems to be the holy grail but comes at the expense of musicality and IMO destroys what it is we are trying to do.
I've listened to systems that just blow my own system away if measured by the standards listed above. Funny thing is, when those systems are playing I enjoy them more when a crowd is there and there is talking. Background noise. Interference. Traffic. It's all part of the mix too. Too much of the details just makes me ooh and aah the tiny things so that I'm constantly critically evaluating. No joy for me there at all. I'm not being picked up and carried away.
For sure, there is a need I have for ear candy from time to time. In my own system I most enjoy the best recordings I have being played while in the company of others with light banter going on. Even the furnace or AC coming on is okay with me. That's much closer to real for me when compared to the live experience.
By far my favorite time alone with my system is listening closely to those older, less respected records that move me. The deficiencies of the record are enough and I don't need the crowd to be with me to lessen all of those sonic nuances. I get picked up and carried away and only set back down again when the stylus is in the run out grooves.
Some of us are way too impatient. We change gear at a pace that is accelerated and I see where the acquisition of software is similar in a search for the same goals. IMO, it becomes more artificial when taken this far as compared to how artificial it was listening to my cars am radio when I first learned to drive.
Craig, what I'm getting at is we need to take live experiences to the plate but we shouldn't be guilty of removing the other aspects of what live really is. It includes other spectators breathing, coughing and talking, the rustle in the seats, air systems, etc. I've yet to hear the resolution at a live event that I hear in many systems except on very rare occasion of usually a single instrument. Even my humble system can be too revealing at times.
Man, I hope I haven't pissed anyone off. In all fairness the one thing that is missing now that I valued so much way back is radio. If we had great radio then maybe we would be buying more music that picks us up and carries us away now. Software is where it's at. |
Hi Pat:
Your last post just takes one's breath away Pat. If you have time and strength to "post some thoughts I (you) have on our passion of audio," as you mentioned above, I'd love to hear your refections on the topic.
And re your comment above that "this particular post is important enough that I'd like to think you guys will save it to a word document for future reference".....well, I'm sure the entire thread is downloaded into harddrives and hearts all around.
A tune that was playing last night as I checked into this thread but really didn't have the courage (is that the right word?) to post.
A tune by Warren Zevon, the first verse goes goes....
"Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while
There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while"
A long while I'm sure.
Godspeed Pat.
I remain,
Clueless |
I just stumbled onto this thread recently. Stunning. I am not sure what impresses/moves me more - that Lugnut (great name) is sharing his experience or that people are here hanging with it. I mean, mortality is something we usually try to put in the closet and hope it doesn't get us. Oops. And instead, people on this thread are talking about maybe the most mysterious aspect of life. With a guy who is fully conscious of his mortality and who is writing about it, out loud, publicly, in its mental, physical and spiritual dimensions, in technicolor and surround sound.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is extraordinary. On an audiophile forum, no less.
One little add. I work in the medical field. I was at a conference last weekend focused on breast cancer, dealing in part with the quality of breast cancer survivors' lives, post treatment. The presenter's data was that the quality of life for those whose treatment was surgery and/or radiation was essentially the same as the rest of the population. But those women who had had chemotherapy (meaning a more serious cancer) reported a higher quality of life than the population. This is a paradoxical finding, because chemo is no treat. I suspect it is because women who are given chemo really have the veil lifted to their ordinary denial of their mortality, and as a result, experience a spiritual response to this heightened awareness, as if we all know a depth equal to the event.
Not just for Pat, but for all of us: may we find our way to love, itself. |
Patrick,
I think you know from my stories how much you have come to mean to me. Though in some ways this has been brutal it has also been beautiful and I feel honored that I have been able to participate in it in a small way. We will all someday travel your path and I thank you for showing us the way. |
Sorry Mr. Porter, somehow I thought that you had a Rockport, my appoligies. However, if you went out right away and picked one up at your local Hi-Fi store this thread could retain it's high degree of accuracy and attention to detail.
dav. |
Pat, It is the "All Time Greatest Hits of Roy Orbison". I just got the phono card for my new Creek Amp and am back in vinyl. It has been two days and that has been hard, though I must admit, that since I got a Hydra, digital sounds down right, acceptable.
Yeah, if anybody ever asks what makes a Linn LP12 so good you can always tell them that it's the only turntable that you could name "Emily" and not insult the universe. I mean, could you see Albert's "Rockport Techno System III Very Serious" with a name like "Emily". No, that machine is "The Rock". Some of us like things soft and sweet, others watch wrestling. (No intended insult to vinophiles out there who may own and appreciate these fine beasts).
I hope to do a little dedicated listening this weekend as it has been a hard week. Maybe a nice bottle of Oregon wine, some fine music. Maybe nature will do something special and provide a few snow flakes. Yep, it's going to be a good weekend. Maybe something stupendous will happen.
dav |
One day hopefully not too soon there will be a post that says Lugnut passed away last night. His journey has brought so much closeness amongst A'goners that I would like to know what we are supposed to do after he's gone. Do we tell Lugnut stories, correspond with eachother, with Barb? I know we'll all mourn his passing but maybe there's a way to keep the spirit he has awakened in all of us alive. Any suggestions? This includes any you may have Pat and I am sorry for relegating you to the past tense. |
|
Though we have only met through TWL at this past Denver show, reading this thread since that time has restored my faith in the inherent goodness of humankind. I have grown quite cynical regarding audio forums and this is my first post in a long, long time. Praise God it is here having to do with two very beautiful human beings.
To Barbara and Pat;
Forever may you run...
Your Brother in Christ, Ted |
Pat,
I read your detailed post about what your body, and, in a sort of almost detached, absolutely rivetingly honest way, you described what your mind and soul are going through.......I did a double take, shook my head and conclude that, in my entire life, I have never witnessed or been privy to such a display of 1)total honesty in the face of almost indescribable discomfort and total realization of the facts, unobscured, unfiltered and unsmeared or filtered from your full consciousness 2) total lack of self-pity, 3) preservation of your appreciation of what's important to you right up to the end, but 4) most starkly, undisguised and screaming loudly at us all is this message that hangs out there, as if suspended for all to see, hear and touch:
I, Lugnut, am near the end of the road, but I will bare it all and live what's left with all of you, because you all may benefit from what I'm telling you and feeling and thinking. It may change your (ours, that is) way of dealing with life, death, pleasures, disappointments and put them all in a perspective that reading your epic journey will cement in a different, shuddering way.
In my book you stand alone in my encounters of persistent and unflinching pure-bloooded guts and fiber for this last hugely selfless and, costly, to your energy and resources, stand to drum into us the real and relative values of life's hills, valleys, cliffs, volcanoes and peaks, which you articulate to us as you coast them daily. The biggest shock - not in a sense that I am surprised that it is you who is the author - rather than the fact that anybody, not yet sainted or deified - can have this strength and will to make a statement of this magnitude.......this blows me away.
May your final thoughts and solace be not that you have guided us, albeit true, but that you have left a legacy for Barb and your gene pool that any other Medal of Honor winner, will look down at you, smile and say, "Yeah, he is one of us..........." This legacy to your family will be peerless, matchless and priceless to them in their years ahead, not to mention the genes giving them the same Right Stuff to achieve their own amazing feats of living that their forebear did. That is your royal prize, the biggest of them all. That will be the thought and satisfaction that will finally allow you to go in real peace............
I am sorry, deeply, that I didn't ever meet you, but believe you me, we know you. And we are infintely richer for it.
Thanks, Pat. |
Pat, thank you for your update. Your one hell of a guy!!
I want to tell you a little story, and I hope it doesn't bore you. About 20 years ago, my dad was in the hospital, faced with having his decision on whether he would undergo his 2nd bypass surgery. He had been thru it all before about 8 years prior and had come to the conclusion that he would rather not deal with going thru it all again. My 2 brothers and my mom talked me into going in and trying to talk him into having the surgery. Playing on his possible ability to continue to see his grandkids grow up, I told him that we all wanted him to have the surgery. The docs at the time gave him a 50/50 chance of surviving the surgery. I could tell he didn't want to, but if everyone wanted him to, he would have it. Long story short, he had the surgery, but never had much of a life afterwards. As a matter of fact, it proved to be a living hell for him the next 7 years. Both legs amputated way up past the knees, daily cramps and phantom pains that would have him literally screaming for up to 24 hours at a time. Even large amounts of morphine did no good to give him relief. I have long regretted talking him into having that last bypass surgery and have cried about it many times. He passed away about 5 years ago, and before he died, I told him how sorry I was for talking him into doing what he really didn't want to do. He laughed and said, that it was his decision all along and that I shouldn't worry about it. I leaned down and gave him a big hug and kissed his forehead. We both had tears running down our faces, as I do now talking about it. When my dad died after years of pain and torment, he just went to sleep and didn't wake up. It was kind of cool though, he actually had a smile on his face, which was something I had not seen from him in a long time. I felt sadness and loss, but those were my own selfish feeling for my loss. It took a very short time before I got a very vivid realization, that I feel was placed there by a power greater than myself. I could imagine my dad dancing with angels. His long suffering was over and I was greatful for his peace. he deserved it. He had fought a long battle and finally got his just reward.
What I learned from this, was it is each persons own decision to decide their lifes choices. It is my responsibility to support that persons choice and accept it. This actually has very little to do with what you are going thru, but any choice you make will be fully supported by me. Thank you for sharing your difficult times with me. It means more to me than you will ever realize. May Gods love and peace be with you!
Steve |
I like the Hey Hey My My banner. Another great Neil Young song that captures the melancholy aspects of shedding our mortal coil is Sugar Mountain.
BTW, like many others I only know you from what Ive read here, and you probably dont recognize me since I rarely post (perhaps out of fear of sounding trite or from feeling a bit inferior when I see the systems of most who do post often). Im glad though to see youre a believer and Im looking forward to meeting you at the next Sugar Mountain (and fortunately we wont be leaving that one).
Praying for you, Barb, and the gene pool.
Bill |
Davt,
Sorry but my memory is pretty poor at the moment. I have the album where he is singing with a bunch of different heavyweights if that's the one you mean. I do like it. I also have an import pressing of his greatest hits. Man, is that a walk down memory lane. He was one of those great artists that made a lasting impact on the music scene. If there is another album you're referring to then I haven't heard it.
I enjoyed our visit. Talking about Linn used for a middle name put a lasting smile on my face. Buying a Linn and naming it Emily is priceless. |
Craig,
I'm sure glad to read of your return to posting in this thread. I have missed your seasoned tube knowledge during the time I was making my move into a Supratek, after trying a few others. But, what I really missed most is your clever wit. Every time I read that you remain Clueless made me get a smile on my face. J.D. said it pretty well. Please stick around.
Aggielaw,
I've run the eating and drinking problems past my doctor as well as a nutritionist/dietician at the tumor institute that continues to care for me. I'm pretty well convinced that something could be done to help some but not by way of diet. The correct type of steroid may be of some help. My abdominal environment lacks free space. The last CT scan showed a blanket of mass attached to my abdominal lining. It appeared to me to be everywhere and spooky thick. I would be curious to see another CT scan but figure it would just confirm what I've experienced before. My stomach has been the same way, very thick top to bottom. When I say thick I'd judge that we're honestly looking at tumors around 1 1/2" thick. Certainly by now other places that showed small tumors previously will have grown. The stomach and intestines move around quite a bit moving things through it. The tumors aren't muscle and don't want to move. They squeeze the rest of the undiseased parts when they want to move and all this friction causes a build up of fluid inside the abdominal cavity adding to the lack of space. Steroids would reduce the inflamation and maybe allow the body to absorb some of the fluids and free up some space. Honestly, I look at this as a mechanical thing. The question really boils down to: is this something Lugnut wants to fix? I'd like to think I'm wrong on my perception about helping these types of things. It's hard to write about. Not because it hurts me emotionally but because it takes a concentration on my part (that's hard to do these days) to explain fully what I've come to believe. I'll try here because I think it's important to the audience if at some point they find themselves in a similar position.
Most countries probably wouldn't have elected to preform the surgery last January that was done to me. (Sorry if this reads a little choppy but it wil be worth your effort to try and get through it) At that time I was approaching a total system blockage. Left untreated I would have died in fairly short order by lack of nutrition and hydration. I was vomiting more than you can possibly imagine, nearly a full time thing. Many illnesses that are easily treated world wide, but due to poverty aren't, kill the young and elderly in this fashion. In the scope of total misery experienced this would be a much more friendly way to have gone than what awaits me now. I wasn't in much pain back then and would have just gone unconscious at some point and faded away. I've extended my life by the procedures that have been used and I've tried to take advantage of every extra moment. It has been worth it but now it's time to pay up on my end with a different way of death. I have this deep belief that anything I do now to aleviate symptoms will only add to the total misery of the trip. If I do something to eat and drink a little better, the cancer isn't going to halt its prgress. If I do well enough then I'll certainly have a blockage of the bile duct which is major crisis time. Bile backs up into the liver and causes uncontrolable pain while the liver is destroyed. This takes about two weeks. The small tumors in my lungs will just get much bigger and put pressure on nerves that are beyond sensitive and I would stuggle for breath. If I slip into unconsciousness due to lack of nutrition or water before these things occur then I kind of think it would be kinder to me to just let it go.
I'm a pretty strong guy in a number of ways. I've always healed quickly and have a high tolerance for pain. I also have been able to put issues I write about here out of the normal plane of existance. It's kind of like a properly set up vinyl system and surface noise. You're not aware of it because it seems to be out of the room. The thing that has come through loud and clear is that deep inside a process is happening that is out of your control. I've mentioned before how things fall off my radar. I'm not as interested in a lot of stuff today that held a lot of interest for me just a couple of weeks ago. There are a lot of things that I could miss now that we take for granted on a daily basis. For the most part I no longer miss them at all. Something that resembles normal eating, drinking, taking a comfortable bowel movement, vitality and endurance have been taken by the disease. Other things, most notably sex, have been taken away by drugs. I can still remember enjoying all the benefits of good health but I just don't miss them enough to really care.
I could easily allow myself to fall into a rountine of laying in bed and having Hospice and Barb take care of me. A large part of me wants to do exactly that. I'm doing this mental heavyweight fight of continuing on with a select few things as opposed to giving up. At some point the disease will win and my body and will to live will have been beaten. That is the nature of a prolonged death. I witnessed it with my father when he too died of cancer. It is normal.
I'll give you my short list of things I want so desparately to continue until I take my last breath. Closeness to Barb. Communicating with this group through this thread. Closeness to select friends. Enjoying my music. The list has subtle aspects to it that I'm not going to elaborate on like my little gene pool. I've left them out but they are in there. Other things too.
Here's a great example. Two friends recently brought over a total of three music DVD's for me to watch. Eric Clapton's Crossroads guitar festival, Bob Dylan Unplugged and Neil Young's Praire Wind. Normally I would have watched these several times by now as these, IMO, are some of the best, at least for my taste. Sadly, I have zero interest. That's because I have only so much interest to spread around. Barb is off work today and we'll put them in but my attention will be at the background noise level. That's all I can give.
I chuckle at my attitude about all of this. Should I even think for a nanosecond that I can direct where my attention is going to go when It's obvious the process is in control and not me. It's like Star Trek and the Borg. Deep down I think that resistance IS futile. I hope what I've written is somewhat understandable because this is one valuable thing you guys can take away from this and make your lives better. This is not giving up. It is what (and I stole this term from someone I'm grateful to. Thanks, Paul) I call gentle acceptance. This particular post is important enough that I'd like to think you guys will save it to a word document for future reference.
Last night a local friend came by for me to listen to some CD's of his. He came at seven and left around 9. Just prior to his arrival another friend just showed up unannounced. I have no problem with that but it screwed up my schedule and I didn't get to eat a bite (literally) before my CD bearing friend arrived. Barb gave me some food right after he got here and during the visit he ran the CDP and I just remained seated. I felt pretty good. When he was leaving I asked if he would give me some advice on some classical CD's I have so I'd enjoy the better ones and save the lesser ones for a later audition. I don't have all that many CD's, maybe a total of 30 and I keep them leaned up against the wall next to the CDP. I bent over to scoop them up and instantly realized I'd done something my body didn't want me to do. We quickly went through them and I told Barb she'd just have to put them back for me, that picking them up was a mistake. Suddenly my stomach had a sharp pain and my mouth watered just a little. I had to excuse myself to go vomit. Consider that this was a total intake of maybe three normal bites of halibut and ten small french fries. I can't just puke and be done with it. No, it must last a very long eye buldging time trying to get up more of what's not there. It's a space thing triggered by the act of bending and putting extra pressure on that confined area.
This is an accurate picture of what this is like but don't take the mental image too far. I plan on hanging up an embroidered banner my sister made for me that quotes Rust Never Sleeps...It's better to burn out than to fade away. It's a cool banner especially since she put my 1/16 note arm tattoo, mirror imaged, on each end of the quote. I won't be hanging them myself but allow Barb or someone else to. Doing this kind of thing would make me puke even if I don't eat. I will get myself cleaned up today as I have some vistors coming again. I always feel much better when I interact and still enjoy music, especially recent vinyl. Each day still gives me pleasure and I honestly try to take advantage of it. I must admit though that it takes a lot of effort on my part to prepare for those pleasures. Man, it's like packing for a trip. All my ducks need to be in a row. I don't want to look worse than I feel so I need to somewhat stay on top of my appearance. That stress is self-induced since nobody really cares one whit except me. Man, if I let myself go I'd really be spooky around Holloween. LOL. I'd do this for no other reason than Barb. She always looks so nice for me.
I've rambled on enough. I may post some thoughts I have on our passion of audio but fear that what I have to say may not be taken properly. Being vague and evasive with a comment like that may bring you readers back.
Each of the posts that get the pleasure to read mean a great deal to me. I enjoy the company here and find each morning that I check in to be one of the high points of the day. Have a good one! |
