About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

This is my first post to this thread, but have been reading and following since it began. Even though I have never met any of you, your posts have truly touched me. I have read and cried several times. Sometimes out of sadness for Pats situation and bravery, and other times for the compassion and love that is shown by others.

Pat, as you have been going thru your treatments, with all of it's ups and downs, you have been inspiration to me. You are walking dignity.

One of my best friends (Joe) is currently walking the same road you are traveling. His treatments ended about 3 weeks ago and he is currently confined to a hospital bed in his home. His mind is still very sharp and his attitude is very good. I have been fortunate to be able to help him carry out some last minute details that he realizes he wished he had taken care of when he was able. Small things, like sending flowers to his wife for him (yes, a few others are blessed with angels too)and a few small repairs to the house. It is by freely giving to others that we receive our greatest gifts.

Joe has always been a believer in acceptance of things he cannot change. So he isn't fighting the inevitable and gains some peace of mind from this. I go over and sit and visit with him daily until he runs me off. But we have had some of our most memorable visits these past few weeks and months. It's a shame it sometimes takes stuff like this for us to get real in our friendships. I have no qualms about telling my friends and family that I love them. A few friends have kind of looked at me funny at first, but they grow to learn what I mean by it and they now return it when told. I think you know what I mean when I say that.

So, even though we personally don't know each other, I can honestly tell you that I love ya and I want to say thank you for sharing some lifes journey with me and others. I have learned alot.

Steve

Pat, thank you for your update. Your one hell of a guy!!

I want to tell you a little story, and I hope it doesn't bore you. About 20 years ago, my dad was in the hospital, faced with having his decision on whether he would undergo his 2nd bypass surgery. He had been thru it all before about 8 years prior and had come to the conclusion that he would rather not deal with going thru it all again. My 2 brothers and my mom talked me into going in and trying to talk him into having the surgery. Playing on his possible ability to continue to see his grandkids grow up, I told him that we all wanted him to have the surgery. The docs at the time gave him a 50/50 chance of surviving the surgery. I could tell he didn't want to, but if everyone wanted him to, he would have it. Long story short, he had the surgery, but never had much of a life afterwards. As a matter of fact, it proved to be a living hell for him the next 7 years. Both legs amputated way up past the knees, daily cramps and phantom pains that would have him literally screaming for up to 24 hours at a time. Even large amounts of morphine did no good to give him relief. I have long regretted talking him into having that last bypass surgery and have cried about it many times. He passed away about 5 years ago, and before he died, I told him how sorry I was for talking him into doing what he really didn't want to do. He laughed and said, that it was his decision all along and that I shouldn't worry about it. I leaned down and gave him a big hug and kissed his forehead. We both had tears running down our faces, as I do now talking about it. When my dad died after years of pain and torment, he just went to sleep and didn't wake up. It was kind of cool though, he actually had a smile on his face, which was something I had not seen from him in a long time. I felt sadness and loss, but those were my own selfish feeling for my loss. It took a very short time before I got a very vivid realization, that I feel was placed there by a power greater than myself. I could imagine my dad dancing with angels. His long suffering was over and I was greatful for his peace. he deserved it. He had fought a long battle and finally got his just reward.

What I learned from this, was it is each persons own decision to decide their lifes choices. It is my responsibility to support that persons choice and accept it. This actually has very little to do with what you are going thru, but any choice you make will be fully supported by me. Thank you for sharing your difficult times with me. It means more to me than you will ever realize. May Gods love and peace be with you!

Steve

Pat, I have read your love of good music and audio and friends. I hope you will be able to attend the upcoming concert. I also know how much you enjoy the love and friendship you experience in your life. But I have a question for you.

Have you ever thought of what the music might sound like in the afterlife? I bet it will be amazing. Maybe the word Heavenly won't even do it justice. Maybe God bless and keep you until then. You are a truly a very blessed man!!

Steve

Pat, may your rest come quickly. About 10 days ago I posted about a very close friend who was going thru the same thing. I got a call this morning that he passed during the night. Even though I am saddened by my loss, I am estatic for his gain. When I think of Joe today, it brings a smile to my face. When you get to your destination, please look for a gentleman named Joe Downum. I am sure you both would enjoy each others company. May God bless and keep you until then.

Take care and my prayers are with you!

Steve

Barb, I have attempted several times to post since reading of Pats death. Everytime I began to write seemed so shallow and empty. I really didn't know what to say.

I never met Pat, never spoke to Pat and never exchanged emails with Pat. But I do remember when I first asked a question on here about my lowly Technics turntable, Pat was one of the few to respond. He didn't tell me to get rid of that peice of junk, he told me things that might improve it to where it would bring me more enjoyment.

I have followed this thread from it's start and have shed many tears, both from sadness and from joy. Like many people, I gravitated to Lugnuts posts. He had what I wanted. An attraction rather than promotion thing. It wasn't his stereo or records that I wanted. It was much more than that. I wanted his compassion, kindness, honesty and caring and helpfulness to others. He let us see deep into his soul, which I find very difficult to do with those I know, let alone strangers on a website. In this world of corruption, cheating, self grandeur, Pat was a truly remarkable person.

I know I will miss him.

Thank you for continuing to share Pat with us. I will have my lowly Technics turntable tweaked to Lugnut specifications loaded with Neil Young Sunday afternoon in his honor. May he rest in peace.

Gracie is a beautiful name for the dog!! I love it.

Steve

Barb, Gracie is a beautiful dog. Thanks for sharing the pics.

Rfigster, I bet your momma is proud!!