Many of us have come to know Patrick Malone (Lugnut) as a friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and kind individual. He is a frequent and enthusiastic contributor to our analog discussion forum. He has initiated only 17 threads, but responded to 559 threads. I would guess that many, if not most, of us can recall a time when Pat replied with helpful advice to a question we posted or helped us track down a rare recording. I have come to love Pat as a friend, and to respect him as a man, and I suspect many of you share those feelings.
Today I write to share difficult news with you. Pat has been diagnosed with an aggressive stomach cancer. It has yet to be determined whether surgery will even be worth it. If surgery is performed, most or all of the stomach will be removed, and Pat would face a difficult and long post-op period in the hospital. The medical course is still uncertain, but will be determined soon. Whatever is decided, it will not be easy or pleasant.
Something may be planned in the future to assist the family. For now, Pat could use some of the friendship he so often and willingly showed us. You can email Pat at: lugnut50@msn.com. You can also mail cards, letters ... or whatever. You may email me for Pat's mailing address. My email is: pfrumkin1@comcast.net.
I hope to spend a few days with Pat in Idaho or Nebraska (from which he hails) soon. Between this news, my legal work, getting ready for family arriving for the holidays, Audio Intelligent, and trying to make plans to visit Pat, my head is spinning. If you email me and I don't respond, please understand that I am not ignoring you, but rather simply do not have time to reply.
Pat may or may not have time to respond to posts here, to emails, or to cards mailed to him. But he has asked me to convey to each and every one of you that he has cherished your friendship, your comradery, and sharing our common hobby on this great website.
As we prepare for our holiday season celebrations, and look forward to -- as we should -- enjoying this time of year, I ask that you keep Pat and his family in mind ... and softly offer up, in quiet moments in the still of night and early morning, prayers for Pat and his family. God bless.
Patrick & family. Hang in there partner, and God bless. Mr Frumkin... you are a very fine man sir ! Our prayers are with him. Have a great Christmas and all the best in the New Year.
I have read your posts. It is obvious you're a sincere and caring man that has touched many a heart. I'm not a praying man , but I do believe in Karma. You have so much good Karma that I know you'll beat this thing. Thanks for your input throughout the years. Heal fast and continue to enjoy the music.
Patrick and I have become good (internet) friends in the past several months. He once sent me a whole carton of LP's without expecting a penny, just because he thought I'd enjoy them. (I have, and of course I sent him a few pennies!)
He and I have been trading emails about his condition for some time. There's nothing more I can add to Paul Frumkin's initial post, except to say that due to other commitments I deeply regret I won't be able to meet them in Nebraska next week.
Merry Christmas to Patrick and family. Like everyone else that knows you, my prayers and Paul's are with you.
Time to take a step back and realize what really is important in life.
Man this news hit me like a ton of bricks.
Patrick as you all know is one of the good guys here on Agon, and I consider him a dear friend. When I see lugnut on a thread I always read his post to get to the meat of the topic, its like when you read a review in Stereophile, and don't really want to read all the filler, you just want to get the scoop, so you just skip ahead to the conclusion.
Mr. integrity that is Patrick, much beloved by all who have the privilege to walk with him.
Patrick, know you and your family are in my prayers.
Merry Christmas to all, I think it is prudent to remind all that this day we celebrate is the birth of our Lord and saviour Jesus, whom our father sent down from heaven to die once for all men for the remission of sin. Salvation through Jesus Christ is a free gift from God for all those whom belive.
Having just returned from a trip back to the Midwest, having checked my e-mail, and then seeing this thread, this news hit me much colder than the arctic blasts I was forced to endure there. On the one hand, I am deeply saddened, having gotten to know Pat through various posts and in the course of many e-mail conversations. On the other hand, my spirits are lifted at the thought of Pats kindness and generosity and by noting the obviously strong and positive legacy he has imparted on so many folks here at Audiogon. Pat has helped many, many folks here through his advice, knowledge, and humor. And he has never expected anything in return, nor does he toot his own horn at what he has done - a man who wholly appreciates that the best deeds are done anonymously and without fanfare. A lesson we would all do well to remember.
The thoughts and prayers of all four yanks are with ya, Pat! We are confident that we will all join in a "salut" to a very speedy recovery.
Mr. Frumkin, you have been a remarkable force in our extended circle. This is not the first time I have seen your attentiveness. Lugnut is a familiar voice. Tell us straight out what you understand his needs to be, and we will come a runnin
Thank you for your kind comment. I don't mean to speak for Pat, but I think that, at this time, Pat needs exactly what has been shown to him on this thread: the support, care and concern of his many, many friends here to help sustain his spirit.
Reading this thread, one gets an idea of how often Pat took time to send people LPs they were looking for or that he thought they'd enjoy; or helped a newbie enter the domain of audiophiledom (okay, I made that word up); or helped many of us not-so-newbies track down a system fault and tweak our systems; or provided advice on upgrade paths, system synergy, and recordings. In short, Pat has been a long-time positive force for the better in this community, and the above posts stand as firm testament to that fact.
Should I become aware that Pat has any specific needs, I will make them known here. But I think that what Pat needs now is for this thread to be a "mirror" -- to reflect back upon him the generosity, integrity, knowledge, friendliness, helpfulness and kindness he has so often shown so many of us ... and I think this thread goes a long way in doing just that.
You are a strength in our community! And I know you will use your strength, and strengths to beat this! I enjoy reading your fine advice and notes. They have helped me hear more notes!
Sharon and I will keep you in our prayers and thoughts daily!
All of us a Gruv Glide wish you a speedy recovery Pat!
It's a true testament of the goodness God has blessed us with when you see a group of people, who really know nothing more of each other than a few typed words concerning a common hobby, come together like this.
Pat, my thoughts, my prayers, and my sincerest of hopes are with you. May God bless you and your family and give you the emotional and physical strength to see yourself through this time. While it may seem difficult to grasp, have faith my friend that you'll come through this a stronger person.
Lugger: I'd look at a positive here; you've generated the *best thread ever on Audiogon! I'd hire a caligrapher, have each and every message above me done up, framed and hung on the wall of the tune room.
Your story about your lovely wife handling the tunes put a lump in my throat - you are very lucky.
Barb and I just returned from a trip to my home state. This was a trip that I would never have paid for myself because at times like these one must be prudent with finances. A dear friend surprised us with airline tickets, another with the use of a lakeside home while on this vacation, another the use of a new car, others arranged various events for quality group time with friends and old classmates. Boxes of rare and pristine vinyl were picked from various sources and sent home with us. God granted me better health during this short 4 1/2 day stay than I've enjoyed in months.
Once home I found that Steve Dobbins, aka Vetterone, had completely remodeled my music room. He took a very tired, old worn down room and turned it into "Purple Haze". It's just too cool. New diming light fixtures, paint, wall paper, cleaned carpet and furniture. He added trim to door frames that used to drive me crazy. This is a very special friend. In the years I've known Steve he has enriched my life in many ways and I know that those small things I have done for him have been given in the spirit of giving a piece of myself. If you knew Steve and saw my room you would realize that this project was an extension of his creative eye and he did it with love.
I simply cannot convey how much I appreciate every post I've read to this thread. I promise that if I ever get cynical I will return to all of the above words to renew my faith in the goodness of my fellow man.
Tonight I pick Paul Frumkin up at the Boise airport for one last weekend on normalcy before the process begins. Paul is a very real, special person. I can say easily that I've grown to love him.
It's especially heartwarming to read posts from members that I've had some heated discussions with in these forums. You guys know who you are. I guess I didn't make you angry during those times because your goodness allowed you to see my goodness in spite of our differences.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to lift my spirits. This thread may very well be one of the most precious things ever done for me. Thanks Audiogon for your words directed at me but a special thanks for providing a place where such fine people congregate.
In the tune of life you might hear a sour note but the band plays on.
In the tune of life you might hear a sour note but the band plays on. Lugnut
Pat, That is one of the most profound phrases I've ever read/heard. I'll remember that. May the Good Lord bless you with courage and strength in this battle. My heart and prayers are with you and your family in your time of need. It's good to see the outpouring of friendship at times like this. I wish more of us could 'be there' in body like Steve and Paul. We are all there in spirit though.
It's great to hear from you. Please drop in when possible, or when needed. Sometimes just talking (even internet chat) is good for the mind, body and soul.
While I only know you from your posts demonstrating a keen wit and definitely one that doesn't suffer fools well, I sure want you to know this from a fellow Irishman, being both a tough "nut" and a sentimentalist at heart, I feel I know you now better more than I ever did. The trail of caring by the above posts clearly show a man worth having as a friend.
You are in my prayers Patrick and we are ALL with you in your battle, just know that fact.
It's good to have you back with us after your visit home. What a wonderful gift from Steve. It was a gift that reflects the true spirit of its recipient as much as its giver.
"The love you take is equal to the love you make."
Because you make, you also take more love than most.
How about you and Paul posting some pictures for us? We'd love to see that new room, especially with you and Barbara in it. (I'd wager she was in the know, you know.) Of course Paul should polish your system with AIVS first, just to give every component that virgin vinyl shine! You, we'll gladly take as scruff as you care to be.
Lugnut, I apologize for being a bit late to the post. I'm so sorry to hear of this news, but you have all our support!
Best wishes during your treatment and recovery. You and your family are in my thoughts. It's great that vinyl could bring you and your wife together in such a special way-- CD couldn't pull that off! ;)
I've just finished dinner with Paul Frumkin and Steve Dobbins after listening for most of the afternoon in my newly remodeled audio room. You'll never find two nicer guys.
Thank you to all of you that have posted and written me private emails. I will be thinking about this thread a lot in the coming days and hope to begin posting again within a couple of weeks.
Needless to say, prayers offered up for me, my wife Barb, our daughter Amanda and grandson Scott mid afternoon on Monday will be most appreciated.
I don't know you, but I can tell you are blessed with a wonderful, loving wife, and great friends. You are indeed a lucky man. Best wishes for a happy new year, good luck.
My prayers and thoughts are with you in this trying time. When I went through my bout with Cancer I learned to try and not worry about the future or regret the past but simply to live in the moment. I get up everyday and thank God for one more.
I just got back from Idaho a couple hours ago. I was able to spend almost 3 days with Pat and his wife Barbara. I want to tell you, people, that Pat and Barbara are two of the nicest, most down-to-earth, most gracious, most talented, most open and most honest ... yet humble and grateful ... people you'll ever meet. Pat and Barb are wonderful people, the kind you feel honored to call your friend, the kind who quickly take up residence in your heart. Pat and Barb did everything they could to make me feel comfortable as a guest in their home; with everything going on, that speaks volumes to their characters.
It was great to spend some time with Pat spinning vinyl in his listening room ... recently remodeled to beautiful effect by Steve (Vetterone). Steve did all of the work as a surprise for Pat while Pat was on a brief vacation to Nebraska.
As you know, Pat was scheduled for, and had, his surgery Jan 3. The night before, Pat, Barbara, Pat and Barbara's daughter Amanda, Amanda's 18 month old son Scott (the apple of his grandad's eye), Steve and I had dinner together at Pat's house. Marinated flank steak and lobster tails on the barbie; chevre cheese fondue; baked Idahos; French carrots; salad, rolls and desert. It was, as you might expect, a subdued celebration: Pat had been advised that, post-surgery, normal meals would be a thing of the past. More than one somewhat uncomfortable reference was made to the "Last Supper."
I've got this third hand (from Barb to my wife to me), but here's the update as I understand it. The lower 1/3 of Pat's stomach, and some of his intestines, were removed. The cancer has spread, which means that chemotherapy will be necessary. Pat has a feeding tube, and he faces a daunting recovery. It is the measure of the man that not once did he complain of his situation; not once did he protest the surgical insults to come. Pat accepted, with nearly unfathomable equanimity and aplomb, the consequences of his disease and their certain effect on quality of life issues.
The immediate course is for Pat to remain in the hospital for up to a week to regain his strength for discharge. Then there will be chemotherapy. Obviously, the battle is not over: only the opening salvos have been launched. Please keep Pat, Barb, Amanda and Scott in your prayers.
Please feel free to email or call (302. 836-0453) me if you have any questions or ideas you'd like to discuss. For those who would like to send something, you may address it to him (Patrick Malone) c/o St. Lukes Regional Medical Center, 190 East Bannock, Boise, ID 83712-9987.
Thank you, Pat, for letting me get to know you better; for letting me help as best I could; for the honor of calling you my friend; and for the honor of calling me your friend. As we reflect upon the new year and count our blessings, surely we include among them a man we call Mr. Patrick Malone.
Thank you for the update. The news, daunting as it is, seems somewhat better than the worst Pat told me he was expecting. It sounds cliche, but if they removed 1/3 of his stomach then he has 2/3 of one left. If the stomach and some length of intestine were the only organs affected then perhaps all our prayers have been answered and a recovery will be possible.
Recovery will depend on Pat as much as anyone or anything of course. Fortunately, in addition to being as kind and generous a man as I have known, Pat is also a stubborn, ornery cuss who takes nothing lying down, so to speak. If anyone can fight his way through surgery, chemo and all the other pains and challenges it's him.
Thank you for taking the time to visit Pat and Barb. I have health challenges to deal with in my home and just couldn't get away. Your generosity of spirit must be a great comfort to them, and is a reflection of the best of our community.
Hi guys, here is a short note from Pat's wife Barb on how thigs went yesterday. There is nothing I could add to this succinct note. It pretty much says it all for now. I am sure Pat would appreciate any get well cards and letters from all of his pals in Audiogon land.
"At Pat's request I am writing this email to all of you to let you know the outcome of his surgery. After 6 long hours the surgeon reported that she was unable to remove all the cancer. She did remove 1/3 of his stomach and part of the upper intestine. He will start chemotherapy after he recovers from the surgery but this cancer is not curable.
I love my husband with all of my heart. Please remember us - each in your own way during this time. Barb"
Patrick, as Lugnut you emailed me spontaneously with the fruit of experience I could not have imagined getting in the normal course of events.
I remember exchanging ideas with you on another thread and I felt privileged to be doing so. Thanks for inspiring this one. I suppose we never know exactly how we will do good! The love here can be felt by anyone who reads it. God bless you and keep you.
Hi Everyone. Just got back from visiting Pat in the hospital. Aside from looking like yesterday's corn and having more tubes coming out of him than a Rockport turn table with an air bearing tone arm, Pat is doing very well. The nurses have Pat walking the halls and Friday he is going to start vacuuming the carpets because there might be an extra sponge bath in it for him. Pat's attitude is great. His sense of humor is as strong as ever. Pat is concerned over the lack of quality in the wiring going to his heart beat sensors. No audiophile grade wiring here. One wire has non shielded cable and every time he moves and the wire gets too close to the metal rails of his bed, the alarm goes off. He does want me to bring in some 39 cent outlets and have me swap out all the hospital grade Hubbells in his room. After all, they should be well burned in. Seriously, Pat has the right attitude and it will carry him far. He won't let the long term problems stop him from enjoying day to day life. Pat should be out of the hospital in a week.
THAT is an inspiring post, Steve, especially when any of us should think to pity ourselves over some trivial turn of the day. Best of luck to Pat. That Irish spirit and wit is his best bet for seeing him through this ordeal.
Pssssst! Steve! Shhhhhh. Go for the outlets in the rooms with the imaging equipment. And grab some of that ultra-polished, teflon-encapsulated silver wire out of an MRI machine. It makes great tonearm wire. It's what I'm using in my tonearm.
Guess when I talk with Pat I'll have to ask: "Think there's any gold wire around here?" That'll get him going!
Paul and Steve, Thank you for keeping us all up to date on Pat's progress. I am glad to hear that his spirit is in the right place. The mind has a very strong healing component. (no pun intended) His attitude, heart, and spirit should hold him in good stead. My family and I keep him and his family in our thoughts and prayers.
I spoke with Pat tonight. Poor guy has a dozen different tubes sticking out of him ... draining this, putting in that. They are giving him some nourishment via a feeding tube into his intestines, but the intestines have not yet "awakened" from the surgery and responded. So he's being sustained on a glucose IV. He did not complain, but he also said that he's not real interested in listening to music right now ... so clearly he's not well and not ready to leave the hospital yet.
Can you believe that, two days after this drastic surgery, he was solicited -- in the hospital and apparently with the hospital's approval -- to buy a car from certain selected Boise auto dealers? Pat was livid about that. I would be, too.
All in all, Pat's spirits are good, and that, as well all know, is so important to recovery. I'll continue to keep you posted, and I'm sure Steve (Vetterone) will too once he returns from the Las Vegas CES.
I'd like the name of that dealership for the purpose of transferring my Irish wrath upon them and saving Pat the energy. What some folks won't do to make sales. Just disgraceful, in every way.
I just got home about fifteen minutes ago and wanted to catch up on this thread. Wow! How the heck can I not get better with all this wonderful sentiment passed my way? You guys are the best. Honestly.
I'm doing very well considering the horrible assault attempted on my body. There were no pain meds powerful enough to stop the pain of laughter and thanks to a lot of you guys I've kept laughing while in that rotten environment. Yeah, I know, it's where I needed to be but this is where I want to be. The preamp is heating up as I write and I'll be listening to one of Paul's Mofi's he left behind shortly.
Forgive me if I'm making some erros while I type this but other than having my IQ lowered by some meds it seems my eyesight has changed for the better during this time. My glasses make it impossible to focus on the screen and I can see nothing without them. It's sure a good thing that I took typing long a go and don't have to hunt and peck.
A lot of kind words have been written about me and I'm moved by what I've read. I must single out Paul and Steve as being some of the nicest people the world has ever had roaming on it's face. These guys helped make this a huge positive experience for me. These guys are better than friends and closer than brothers. I'm honored to call them my friends. The stories I could tell, but unfortunately I'll have to save those for another posting. Writing at this time is just too much work.
I'm surprised you're home so soon and well enough to defend your Audiogon honor, heheh. But you ARE one tough ol' bastard. Did they stick a Whipple in ya so you'd have enough energy to type today?
As you can see, you've got a lot friends...Everywhere.
Lug-man- Glad to hear you are well enough to come home, although maybe you should be thankful they did't do it in the drive-up lane ;~). Really, good to hear from you. Heal fast. Your friends are thinking about you often.
Welcome back, Patrick! I'm sure it's a comfort, for both you and Barb, for you to be back home. I'm surprised -- happily surprised -- that you've been discharged: just yesterday you had so many tubes stuck in you that you looked like you got nailed in an explosion in a manicotti factory.
Pat, I hope you don't mind my sharing this with our Audiogon friends, but guys, the truth is that no one knew for sure what would be the outcome of the surgeon's "look-see" and surgery. No one knew if Pat's entire stomach would be removed. There was a possibility that Pat would never be able to eat normally again, but that he would have to be fed through a feeding tube inserted into his intestines. So too, it was possible the surgeon would see such a mess that she would just close Pat back up and tell him to say his prayers. That's how serious this was.
Indeed, the surgeon did not want Pat to travel far from emergency medical care facilities because the surgeon was concerned that Pat could bleed out at any time ... and obviously, that could have happened during the surgery. Plainly stated, Pat's surviving the surgery was not a sure thing. Again, that's how serious this was.
Had it been me, I would have been a freakin' mess. They would have had to tranquilize me to near the point of unconsciousness. The mere thought that I might never again eat normally would have completely freaked my cookies. I would have totally lost it.
But not Pat. Friends, let me tell you that not once did Pat express pity for himself, or even fear for himself. Not once did fear express itself in an angry outburst. The man did not even once complain. Pat, his wife Barb and I discussed his last wishes ... and the man made humorous comments. I was there when the hospital chaplain "just happened" to show up to talk with Pat. I was with Pat and Barb until they took him back for the pre-op preps. And again, not once did Pat express self-pity, despair or fear.
I tell you all of this so that when I say that Pat is the bravest man I've ever known, you'll know these are not just words but truth. This thread is replete with stories of Pat's generosity, his helpfulness, his willingness to go out of his way to help others, and of his integrity. To these we can now safely add his bravery. In short, Pat is a man ... the kind of man I can only hope I would be under even far less trying circumstances. Thank you, Pat, for showing me how a man should face life's most challenging moments.
Thank you, too, for your kind words for Steve and me. But just wait until you see what your wide circle of Audiogon buddies have been cooking up for you! (More on this later).
An hour before Pat had to report to the hospital, we stopped at Pat's favorite haunt -- the Nampa new and used vinyl store. I spied a Mo-Fi Rickie Lee Jones that was graded mint, and I quietly took it out of the bin and up to the cashier. A few minutes later we were at the hospital, and I pulled Ms. Jones out of the bag. I told Pat that he better come back to us, or I was going to keep the album. Pat, I'm so glad Ms. Jones is yours.
Alright, I guess it's time to admit something that many of you may have already surmized. I am, in fact, part dog. Dogs don't ask too many questions. When you are with them they know that you CAN throw a ball or stick and that they LOVE to go fetch it. So, a dog might ask, why aren't you throwing a ball or stick yet?
Go to any dog's home and you'll find a box of dog toys that they will gladly share with you. Dogs never ask when is super. I doubt if they even ask if there will be super. But I'm pretty sure they do ask what's for super.
Dogs would never wish another dog to have fleas. Hell, they might not even wish that they didn't have fleas. But, I'm pretty sure that they might wish that fleas didn't itch so much. I know that dogs never ask "why me?"
Dogs are very good at accepting. Consider that they accept and appreciate that last bite of your cold hot dog as much as the fresh off the grill T-bone that fell on the ground during the 4th of July barbecue.
Me brave? I don't think so Paul. Like a dog I accept whatever life brings me, especially at times like this. What I have trouble accepting is all this generosity. It's a shame too as that makes me only part dog.
C'mon Patrick, don't shun hero status when it's bestowed upon you. 'Alexander' and 'The Alamo' failed miserably at the box office, so we're turning to you to lead the charge.
By the way, what type of dog are you? We have a Jack Russell and an English Mastiff, and I want to let them know about their new relative.
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