Get rid of them if he ever surfaced say what records......
A Record Collection/Moral Conundrum - What Would You Do?
Folks,
I’ve been rolling around an issue and I’m simply curious what others would do in my place.
Here’s the situation:
I had an long time great friend and audiophile buddy who I’ll call "John." Around 2009 or so John wanted to open a restaurant. I lent him some money. You already know how this story goes and why we aren’t friends anymore.
But to add some detail, he asked for a heap of money because he was in a fix - said he was expecting a bunch of money (from the government as I remember - showed me some papers about it) but it was going to show up a bit too late, so could I lend him the money just for about a month then he’d pay me back. I explained I was just starting a renovation of a room in my house turning it in to my long-dreamed of home theater, which I’d saved for, and that it would come out of my own savings for that project. I was very hesitant, he begged, promised it was only for a few weeks. I said I could lend him 1/2 of what he was asking (otherwise I couldn’t even pay for the contractors coming).
One of those situations where long time, very good friend who I knew was a good person, who was only ever honest with me, needed help. So I stepped in. That’s always how it goes, right? Yes, I learned the hard lesson about lending money.
Needless to say the money didn’t show up the next month. Or the next. Or the next. Whenever I asked it was another story on how the restaurant was sucking every spare dollar, he’d pay me as soon as he could. Of course the restaurant quickly went under. I was like "I need that money, I have contractors to pay" and he just said he didn’t have any to give. Next he told me he was selling his house, downsizing, and he’d use the funds to pay off his debts including to me. Ok. What else was I going to do?
He asked if he could store his much beloved record collection at my place while he sold his house. Ok. Several boxes full of nice records took up (some valuable) real estate in my basement.
Basically I never heard from him again. Heard he sold his house, but that was it. Other friends have been in occasional contact. I’d been hoping that with his records here maybe he’d show up one day. Of course not.
So...now...11 years later!...I need some money. And I’m cleaning out the basement, wanting those records out of there.
I could sell the records and at least make some money.
The question for the audience is: Do you do it?
The case for selling them seems relatively obvious. He stiffed me for many thousands of dollars that he never paid back. Had me store the records forever while he went AWOL. Clearly has zero intention of ever picking them up.Every arrow points towards "They Are Mine Now."
Except...I have a conscience. He never formally gave them to me.
So, would you try to track "John" down to ask if he wants his records back (and explain otherwise I’m going to sell them)?
Or would you just go ahead, assume ownership (and payback) and sell them?
Floor is yours.
124 responses Add your response
With 6,000 pristine LP's (1965 to today), and I still buy 100 LP's a year, so my collection does not become calcified. I have been trying to find a library to take the whole collection. Most are mint. I will even provide an endowment to care for them. There are very few endpoints for your's and my conundrum. The way people are discarding good collections, means our's will become more valuable. I'm 65 and have been trying to find a place where they will care for them as I have. Absolute Sound seems to be a good choice and there are a couple dealers in GOLDMINE that buy whole collections. Yet that is for selling them. Ebay and other sites are really too much work. I'd rather it stayed a collection as I bought them all mostly in the first week or release. I was not a DJ or on any companies mailing list, so I bought 98% of them new and took care of them obsessively. All across the board, physical media is shunned by libraries. I think that is folly. If you ever find a proper manner to keep your collection whole, please let me know - Steven Pettinga 317 251-7009 |
What shape are they in, are they saleable? Many widows are getting rid of their husbands collections So the market could be glutted except for the prized stuff so you might have some work on your hands to go through everyone. Would this guy even have the money to ship them back to himself or rent a truck? After 11 years without them he's done with them and certainly not going to spend the money to get them. Hope you were able to bounce back financially from this unfortunate situation and the loss wasn’t too much. The sting of a lost friend who was not the person you thought he was might remain for a while. Never loan to a person with the thought you are definitely getting the money back. Always consider there’s a good chance it might turn out to be a gift you can afford. |
@prof Are you still sitting on your hands? It's time to Sell them all here, and promise us that you'll use the proceeds to buy a lot of alcohol. Cheers, Spencer |
I was given his purportedly current email address.
I sent him a friendly email asking if he wanted his records, and that he could pick them up if he'd like.
We'll see what happens. I'd actually prefer to give them back to him. For me the loan thing is water under the bridge. Not that I'd be lending him money again :-) But it doesn't help to dwell on that stuff and even very good people can get in to that kind of trouble. Apparently, talking to another friend who knew what was going on, his mental health issues were flaring up at the time of very high stress.
For me the best result would actually returningi the records and being at least on good terms with my old pal again, vs carrying spite or even having to get rid of the records. I don't know if he's going to respond, though. |
Update:
To my astonishment he replied to my second email. (As I said, I kept things friendly and open). He replied tersely that he doesn’t listen to music anymore and to toss them. Sounds sad. I gather he’s still having some problems. (He generally won’t speak to any of our other friends either).
So I’m going to sell what I can and a friend who has gotten heavily back in to vinyl says he’ll take any leftovers.
Problem solved.
Thanks for all the responses. It was fascinating.
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Would be nice to buy him a turntable and speakers, return his record collection and maybe it will magically cure him. It will bring back some good memories associated with music. |
As mentioned I was curious about other people's take on a situation like this. I thought it would be a subject of interest, and clearly it was. Also, I was still not perfectly decided on exactly what I was going to do. People raised some issues I hadn't thought about. Reading other people's responses did ultimately help me process exactly what I chose to do.
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