Much has been written in these threads about the dreaded WAF, or wife acceptance factor. It usually entails making a compromise, or not getting that perfect speaker, or amp, or ... Well you get the picture.
But tell the truth guys. Haven't there been times when wifey actually helped?
In my case, I casually mentioned to my wife that the picture quality of my front projector would be much improved if I could better cotrol the light in the den. So what did she do?
She put up nice thick curtains. It not only blocks the light and makes the den like a cave, it also improves the diffuse surround sound field with the absorptive material. What a gal!
I told my wife I was considering a Meridian 861 v4 for the main system.... her comment to me was "Will you hear a difference?" to which I said I think so, so she told me I should buy it!
I actually am very lucky, my wife lets me do anything I want to the stereo so WAF isn't really an issue to me!
I too hear horror stories about fights over audio equipment. Sometimes its the money, which can be substantial, other times its the aesthetics. In my case my wife doesn't bother with my main room in the basement which has large speakers and lots of cables, and she can decorate the rest of the house as she sees fit. In a small library, I compromised and put VR-1s in the built-in open bookshelves and the components in another part of the bookshelves. Far from ideal, but the sound is still great, the wood of the VR-1s matches the wood of the shelves, so everybody is happy. I suspect that any arguments about audio or WAF are symptoms of larger problems. This passion is an easy target if there are other marital issues. (I also think I just wore my wife down and she decided to pick her battles more selectively!!)
If I go and buy some equipment.. she just goes to Vickie's or Fredericks and buys more lingerie' to wear when she does her pole dancing in our bedroom! That aside... she's helping our tremendously in my studio build. She actually did all the rock wool insulation without breaking a nail!!
I recently brought home an 18" Velodyne to try out in the theater. When it came time to return it, or buy it, (about 3 months) my fiance told me "we have to have to have it, it's a necessity". Needless to say, it's in our theater today. I have no trouble at all convincing her what we need. In fact, it if was up to her, I'd be buying new gear all the time. The shape, color, or anything else is not of any concern to her. It it improves the sound, BUY IT. She even buys stuff for me, if she knows just what I want. She may be the only woman alive that enjoys audio more than me. Thanks Jackie!!!!!
my bride is a trooper...she usually just says, whatever you want to do...she tpp has helped me with making curtains for my patio door...bought me lp cleaning accessories. of course i reciprocate with granite countertops, new furniture...as long as neith one of us go overboard, or get in debt we're fine. BTW, she listen with me almost all the time and has a great set of ears. when i got my new preamp (klimax kontrol) we listened to The Wall, adn at the same time looked at one another and she said "on my God, ive never heard THAT before!!" i love my wife
My wife will usually complain about the aesthetics of any new equipment in my house. Rarely is there a compliment. I've adjusted, I now know that her complaining only lasts a couple of days, then she moves on to some newer complaint, usually non-audio. I love her dearly, after all, where would I be without all of those complaints? I need someone with good tastes, as I obviously don't have any. :)
Viridian, perhaps you should advertise them as Ted Nugent specials - (viz. Cat Scratch Fever)
As to everyone else who posted, thank you. I haven't had this much fun in a long while. The lesson to be learned is that a little consideration goes a long way. :o)
We recently purchased a new home and during the search process my wife was even more adamant than I was about a dedicated listening room. Well it turned out to be a spare bedroom but it's mine.
We just moved into a larger, older house but the living room is smaller. My wife said "Honey, since our big screen tv is too big for the living room, why don't we get one of those tvs you can hang on the wall?" God, I love her. Of course I said " Do you really think we should?" I am so sneaky. Of course I had just brought up the idea of getting her one of those new commercial stainless steel stoves. If we go under, we're going together. She also came up with the idea of giving me my oldest daughter's bedroom for a man-cave when she leaves for college. I've got 2 years to plan for that system.
My wife, Mary, is not only supportive, but actually researches pieces of equipment on Audiogon, checks Usedcable.com, reads reviews, and only recently encouraged me to spend 12,000 on speakers even though I had, in my mind, settled on a significantly less expensive model. She has come to understand the importance of power sources, tubes, isolation racks, etc,etc. She wants to know everything she can about highend audio. If I entertain the idea of buying a Shunyata diamondback power cord, she'll naturally want to know if, in fact, the next level pc would give even better sound. When I tell her that it probably would, she says "then we should buy the better one"! I used to buy and sell fine wristwatches. My wife learned everything she could about them...to the point that, if I was gone, I would trust her to meet with, assess, and even buy an expensive timepiece from any seller. All this while attaining her Ph.D, working full time, and renovating our old house in our spare time. I am very lucky!
Haven't there been times when wifey actually helped?
Absolutely! She often travels on business. This creates an opportunity to install something new. A few weeks later she asks, "Hey, what's that new box over there in the corner of the basement family room?". I say, "Huh, you're kidding, I've had that for simply ages. Yeah really, ages! Obvioulsy it can't be that much of an eye sore if you only just noticed it"
WOW! I thought I had the ideal audio wife! I think Mary tops mine.... Now how would Mary deal with an entire room in the house filled with 'spare gear'??
I am a very lucky guy to have found a woman who shares this hobby with me. She was into music long before wemet but didn't know much about equipment. I took her to a couple of shows when we lived in Montreal and this changed things because it allowed her to experience what the fuss and challenge was about, not only in terms of eqipment but set up, system context and room treatment. We make decisions together on the bext upgrades and whether they make sonic and financial sense. I suggest education is one way to go. Plus the preventative health benefits actually SAVE $$$ in thelong run.
I do side work to pay for this hobby. My wife knows the cost but does not care as long as she gets the regular pay check. She would like some of the side money but this has been the deal from the get go. My free time, my money.
My wife has this saying: The man who dies with the most toys does not win, the wife does. When we die the wives get the toys and the insurance money. She figures selling my system, vinyl and CD's she will be set for a long time after I'm gone. I agree as long as she does not sell it all for pennies on the dollar, like a yard sale HA HA HA.
My wife recognizes that I need audio the way most people depend on oxygen to sustain life. Her sister is not quite that understanding of my brother-in-law's "audio needs." Tim came home one afternoon to find his Klipsch speakers sitting out on the back porch. When asked why she said, "I got tired of those big ugly things taking up my whole living room!" POOR GUY!
I would divorce your sister-in-law. My bedroom has all kind of frilly crap, 18 pillows, I have 1/4 of the closet, and she has totally invaded my office, and wife and the designer put my Wayne Gretsky/Gordie Howe autographed pic in my office bathroom. I have zero kitchen privileges, all acceptable tradeoffs to get my MBLs in the living room. Some things just ain't worth compromising:)
Ever think of the old audio equipment you have or had and how good it was and the found memories you had with it ? Ever do the same with an ex wife..... there is your answer!!!
When that event happened (to my brother-in-law) I told my wife that if she ever felt that she should move my gear out on the porch, just tell me and one of us would pack up and leave! And her response was that she would never do that to me, The good ones are hard to find. Dapom
I just literally walked in the door with a brand new pair of B&W DM603 S3's in Sorrento within the last 2 hours of this writing. I am now playing her favorite CD by David Benoit (Here's to you Charlie Brown). Actually it sounds tremendous. She immediatley liked the new speakers! All of sudden her comments about their size and the fact that the grill covers are off which she first balked at went away. It could still come back but for now at least, I'm in good shape!!
Thats key!, you gotta play for the ladies now and then and that will go a long way to being happy. Liz loves Train, Collective Soul, Bad Company, Enigma, she loves Telarc's "Bond and Beyond" so there are about 50 disc's I have that I know will be welcome anytime I play them, and I play them for her every week or so.
Dapom, yes they are. Her feeling is that I work my butt off, I take care of her, I get speakers. Although, she was so not crazy about the new 9011's..that is..until I played her some Elton John on it.. now the "coffins" are just fine:)
We just bought our first house and it came with a 20 x 20 family room. While my wife does poke fun at me for my predilections, she never complains. The deal was: I get the family room; she gets the rest of the house.
I have my 2 channel in one portion, the HT in another and she gets to decorate the rest of the home! It took 5 years of "observing" her tastes in decorating before I made the deal though...if there were to be any doilies, I would have had to come up with an alternative plan!
I dunno... I think that maybe there should be a HAF (Husband Acceptance factor) debate too. Ive been trying to persuade my partner that he should move the TV into what is now our dining room so that what is now the 'living room'...or more accurately the 'fall asleep in front of the Tv room' could become my listening room...at 17x17 foot, it would mean that i could get the Quads Ive longed for that are just impossible in the 6x10 feet room Ive got at the moment. Still...he did help me make a new arm board from a lovely piece of purpleheart for my jeannantais'd Lenco so I should be grateful he's showing a bit of an interest really......and he's not got upset when I recently bought a Rega arm and new cartridge for my deck, so I'm not doing too badly really!
My wife notices before me when my latest purchase gets past the 'burn-in' perion and startes sounding really good.
It is truly a mixed blessing that, while my wife can be very happy listening to a boom box, she also has better hearing than me and can come home, listen to my music and notice I just changed tubes.
Oh: advice to the 'youngers'. Insist on separate checking accounts. Never look into hers, so long as she contributes her part and does not go into debt.
This thread kind of bums me out actually - what's it like to have a spouse that doesn't like music? Or doesn't care about reproduction (if it's affordable)? It would be a deal breaker. It would be one thing to be talked into going on a fabulous vacation rather than buying speakers, but to redo carpet or something... Just reminds me I made the right partner choice on multiple levels. It's obivous the more time I'm around audio, it's not a guy hobby; it's a music support hobby.
I love the WAF. Being single I can take advantage of all the good gear that ends up on the used market when guys get married and have to switch to HT setups with little, tiny speakers.
Don't kid yourself... my wife is fully accomadating for ANY audio gear I want.... I am sure I am not the only one, but I do have a great wife! Just for a sample of my life with her.... I wanted to buy a Meridian 861v4.... she asked me if I would hear a difference, which I said yes to. She told me I should buy it. That's a woman!
This is a very interesting thread, I just noticed! The facts first: My system when I was married: Pro-Ac Responce2.5, Meridian 508, Cary SLI 80. Stereovox cables. My system post divorce: Kharma CRM 3.2, CRM Sub, Tenor 75 OTL, Wavac PR-T1, Metronome CD3, Finite stand, more Stereovox, Kharma Enigma, NBS Black Label, double size CD collection etc... This is the sad fact. The philosophical point re above. Every human will develop some kind of immune reaction to various things. Say, if you always would go with your wife for shopping, and will stuck in female underware store for few hours, you will get bored sooner or later. At one stage you will refuse to go. You will get bored by watching many brands of different bra's, and it wont matter which one looks better in the end. Wife may get bored standing by, and watching you picking CD's for hours etc... My tip from above. Do not bore your wife with hi-fi. Do not become Hi-Fi freak. Choose the right components. Wait, but buy not in the sake of bargain or opportunity. You can not talk about upgrading as soon as you just upgraded. You may get anaphylactic reaction back. My definition of WAF. We all do have our interests. The marriage require mutuality, preservation of individuality, and mutual respect. If you do want to throw the last grand on hi-fi, your wife may be right. There are more important things. WAF apply if there are ALWAYS more important things than your hobby despite the funds. Than there is something wrong with the marriage? Conclusion. In my opinion WAF does not exist. There are things we can/can not afford. There are priorities. We all know that. Interests of all members of the family need to be equally accepted and ignored. This is when things do work.
I love La-Z-Boy recliners; my wife hates La-Z-Boy recliners, but loves soft safas. I love sitting close to the big screen TV and stereo; my wife hates sitting close to the big screen TV and stereo, but loves elevated seating.
Solutiion: Stadium Seating. My La-Z-Boy recliner sits on the floor ten feet from the stereo and TV while my wife's soft sofa is elevated on a platform behind the recliner. Harmony at last!
I have another one for this thread. My wife said I could never get a recliner. She feels that ALL MEN are worthless when they sit in one. So trying my luck as usual, I bought 3 powered recliners. The wife came home and there they were in the HT and the couch was gone to my sons house. She says to me, I thought we agreed no recliner. I wanted to say WE never agreed to that but that is just asking for trouble. So I said, we never said I could not get three of them just not one. She agreed and I kept the recliners. By the way I also find her sitting in them a lot, reading and may someday ask if her if WOMAN become useless in them also after I wake her up from sleeping in it. Maybe. LOL.
"Wife" is the key operative - acceptance factor in all areas is multiplied by a huge factor once you become married...and it ain't a positiive factor either! I reckon each kid adds a significant multiplier too!!
Viridian, It's great to see a 'Goner with a sense of humor. By the way, I'm 63 with no bald spots or even thinning hair. I guess I'm one of the fortunate few. Never the less, I have to admire you for your creativity. As they say, toshay!
1. I'm alot smarter and my brain need the room so the hair had to go. 2. I make U-turns under the sheets with the misses so the hair got worn off via the friction from differant sources.
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