- Nice cat: $500
- Things damaged around the house trying to feed it with a vomitive: $350
- Medical bills for you and the cat: $250
(Your wife leaving you after seeing it all: priceless)
*Inexpensive* tweak? |
This tweak might actually turn out to be quite expensive should your cat need to be seen and treated by a vet for his upset stomach! |
I usually gaffer tape my cat to my amp. I find it is very inexpensive and does wonders for soundstage and imaging. Cat likes the heat and gaffer tape is cheap. |
I've always found that regurgitated dry cat food has been more benefical for my components than regurgitated canned cat food. Purina kitten formula is by far the best in my auditioning so far. |
Rockyboy-- funniest thread I've seen in a long, long time-- laughed by butt off. You've obviously got a great sense of humor about an unfortunate incident-- thanks for sharing! Cheers. Craig
PS: I'll give you $500. for your cat. I've got a tube pre-amp too;>) Cheers. Craig |
I can't tell if you're serious or not, but this actually happened to me twice. Miss Willis first threw up on my Pioneer DVD/Laser. Cat voimit is highly corrosive and it destroyed a circuit board. I took it back to the dealer, explain what happened and they fix it at no charge. Being a regular buying customer does have its occassional benefits. The second incident was 18 months later and Miss Willis voimitted on a Sony ES power amp. Again circuit boards were ruined. I returned the unit to Sony and they refused to honor their warranty citing owner abuse.
Since in each case the throwed up over unit stopped working, I can only comment that cat voimit as a tweak does produce blacker blacks and improved intertransient silence, YMMV.
My serious advice is to immediately have your unit professionally serviced. |
Craig's offer for the cat was really funny. |
"Inexpensive fix" Yes, cat vomit is very acidic, as is their piss, trust me I know. The best way to nuetralize it is with baking soda, just like your car batetry and compartment. Use water and baking soda to clean it, the sooner the better, especially for an (epoxy?) circuit board. You will know when you have it nuetralized, as it will no longer bubble. Not meaning to patronize you, but make extra sure it is very very dry before plugging in again. |
Are you sure you heard a difference after the cat puked?
You know some around here might be SKEPTICAL and might say that your just imagining the better sound... Also it should get even after about 300hrs of burn in!
Ive been squeezing THE HELL OUT OF my daughters cat for
the last hour tryin to get it to puke on my pre... The
little bastard aint givin it up? Its looking at me funny
though! |
so whats next, dog urine on the woofers, hamster nibbles on cables, goldfish scales on connectors. Give the kitty some PeptoBismal and get out the alcohol swabs and start cleaning. |
I had a beagle that used to hose my vinyl regularly. Oddly enough, he only seemed to aim at the Led Zepplin albums. It never made them sound better, though I'm not sure it made them sound much worse either. I guess I should have made him wizz on the turntable...... He also peed on my niece once. THAT was quality entertainment. |
Stick the cat in the freezer for 24 hours first.
You'll be amazed the blacker background, universe engulfing soundstage, and abysmal bass (not sure if that last one is good or bad).
KP |
You know, I wasn't going to bring this up because I thought it would be just too embarassing, but since Rockyboy's confession, I feel I can speak freely now, without fear of ridicule:
I've noticed that every time my dog farts anywhere near my tube amp, which is placed on a sandbox on my floor (keep your friggin cats away from my sandbox please!), that the tubes suddenly seem to glow brighter and there is a sudden surge in power and corresponding bass response. The bass gets tighter and more defined! I swear, I'm not shittin' you guys! I was thinking of marketing something like a plug-in automatic aerosol dispenser, you know, like those air-freshener do-dads with the plastic flower scents. You'd plug it in to a convenient outlet nearby your tube component(s) and have it dispense a steady stream of synthesized dog farts to keep those tubes glowing brightly. Now I guess I'd have to do some R&D on this one..not exactly as cheap as cat vomit, but man, I've never heard the low end so tight as when Diesel lets one rip near that amp! |
We have a cat that throws up every time he eats (I think he has a stomach disorder). The vet says he's otherwise in perfect health.
We might have to get our cat together with Cardas or Nordost and market him ... say $500 per visit plus our travel expenses ! |
So we can add cat barf to fairy dust and snake oil .. hey you either believe in it or you don't. |
your rig always sounds better after you've been away for awhile...
You do need to get out more! |
Garfish,
I'd happily take $500 for the cat except that wife refuses to sell. However, I'll trade wife for a 2 meter pair of FMS interconnects! I'd rate wife 10/10 and cat 9/10 only because the cat no longer comes when you call it. Heck, I can't lie; the cat never came when I called it. And neither does the wife! |
Rockyboy, maybe your cat is trying to tell you something about your music!
Seantaylor99, is your cat bolemic? Trying to loose a few pounds to impress the ladies?
Our dog would suddenly jump up and make a sneaky exit out of the room. We'd snag him and put him back in his area. He never liked that. Funny, I thought you were supposed to like your own. |
Have you thought of cyroing the cat? |
Jax2,
I tried it, and it didn't work. What's he eating? |
And i thought i was nuts! |
I have given this some thought. There are a number of issues here. But, let’s focus on marketability first, and then the social and legal matters. The only way to really make this marketable is to plastic bag it and then place that in a nicely finished wooden box and sell it as an ALL NATURAL anti-dampening device that sits on top of your equipment. You can match the wood finish to the customer's speakers (at an upcharge of course). Your cat was clearly heading in the right direction but did not have access to the necessary materials, possibly even needed parental guidance, to finish the job correctly. You should be ashamed of yourself for depriving said cat of its necessary enrichment needs. DCS (Departmnet of Cat Services..get it?) may want to speak with you. To avoid potentially devastating legal and financial considerations, I now hope you at least agree to pay it 10% of the profits as a royalty for inventing this "all natural" anti-dampening device. |
thank you for all this creative cat tweak,sometimes
audiophile need this type of thread i enjoyed greatly,
Since I have seen people eating cats, and dogs, from
the Orient, how about eating dog and al la cat delicasies
just like having one coctail before listening.Rockyboy
your cat is suffering from involuntary protein spill,
we cant market that cellover,we cant market dog meat
and cat either, we are not allowed to do that.How about
the pillow that the cat sleep on, put it on the back of
the speaker? |
Alruhl, I believe urine is a base, not an acid. The best counteractant for cat piss accidents is white vinegar (acetic acid) - it cancels the ammonia smell (tossed cookies are another matter entirely). Wouldn't recommend someone go slathering it on their circuit boards, though. One question for you guys having these problems - where in the hell are you displaying your gear? On the floor? I've had cats my whole life, and the only place they ever perform the technicolor yawn is on the ground. (BTW, how many of you have ever tried to come up with your own euphamisms for vomiting? Back in high school, this activity [the naming, not the vomiting] became something of an obsession in my crowd - the best candidate I ever coined was 'inspecting the shrubbery', to be used at parties, as in "Hey! Where'd Zaikesman go?" "Uh, I think he's outside inspecting the shrubbery!" Good times.) |
We called it "driving the porcelain bus". |
My cat is much too high class to vomit, except mouse guts. |
|
Rockyboy; A 10/10 and 9/10 would be a great trade for the FMS ICs, but I just couldn't do that to an A'Gon brother-- after the experience you've just been through you need them. You've got a couple of gems there. Thanks for the yuks;>)
Zaikesman; "making an offering to the great white porcelin god". Cheers. Craig |
Rosstaman; come to think of it, he has been on a steady diet of cat vomit! Well, actually, technically he does eat the whole cat but I'm assuming there's plenty of vomit inside'em! Maybe that is the key to audio Nirvana!!! |
Subie: Yeah, I know, but there is a chemical difference between uric acid and urea, so I looked it up, and here's what I've learned: Urea (a byproduct of protein metabolism) is present in much higher quantities in urine, and readily combines with both acids and bases, while uric acid is normally present only in small quantities. On balance however, human urine is usually a mild acid - but with its obviously higher percentage of ammonia (an alkaline base), feline urine would seem likely to be another matter, although I couldn't find anything authoritative on the issue, so I grant your point until a vet or an organic chemist comes along to shed some more light. (BTW, fresh human urine was often used to cleanse wounds during battle in WWI, 'cause it's sterile [whereas the water wasn't], so how acidic could it be?).
Hey, whatever: I thought we were talkin' upchuck here! C'mon folks, let's focus! What has urine got to do with vomit?? :-)
(Aw hell - OK, now this reminds me of my favorite joke of all times [and it ain't even dirty]. My father told me this as a kid, and it didn't make me laugh until the absurdity of it hit me at about 20 years later. Some things in life are best appreciated through the passage of time, I s'pose. Here 'tis:
A man runs frantically into a crowded delicatessen from off the street at lunch-time, shoving people out of his way left and right to get up to the counter. Practically lunging over the top of the cold-case, the man grabs the deli guy by the apron-strings, and shaking him violently, fairly screams at the top of his lungs with a crazed look in his eyes,
"Cole slaw!!! Gimme cole slaw!!! I need cole slaw!!!"
With everybody in the joint stopped dead in their tracks and staring, the guy behind the counter stammers bewilderedly,
"Uh, I'm sorry, but we're out of cole slaw..." and holding up a large bowl, adds helpfully, "but we do have some of this potato salad..."
"Yeah, yeah - Just give it to me!!!" the man roars, and tearing his hat off his head and throwing it to the ground, yanks away the bowl, plunges into it with both hands up to his elbows, and scooping up two great globs poceeds to slather the stuff upon his head in a frenzy, rubbing it into his hair like a madman, potato salad flying everywhere.
"Hey!!" the counter guy yells in astonishment, "Whattaya doin' puttin' that potato salad all over your head?!!"
The man freezes and looks at him, hands still on head, the wild gleam drained from his eyes:
"Potato salad?? I thought it was cole slaw!"
So, what has this got to do with either vomit or urine? Hey, you figure it out - all I know is that, like Rockyboy's preamp story, this 'joke' seems to have something elemental to do with the human condition. Maybe you just had to hear my dad tell it, reverting into the New York accent of his youth replete with enthusiastic gesticulations [then again, maybe not: years later when I told this back to him, he denied ever having heard it]. Email me when you think of this years from now and it makes you crack up uncontrollably.) |
does your cat do house calls..;) |
Zaikesman,
First, thanks for the primer on the chemical properties of urine. Been looking for something to casually bring up around the office's water cooler. Now I have it. Second, I read the joke three times. Even asked my wife to read it. Sorry, we both don't get it. Can understand why your father would now deny hearing it. Third, now please get back on your medication! :-) |
Glad to have been of some real use around here!
(Keep waiting... :-) |
In Asia they rub whale semen on vinyl to "open up the soundstage"...check out your local Asian market...it has to be whale...no cuttin corners via Pete Townshends.... |
You mean cat spunk is out? |
