How To Field Questions About Your Audiophile Lifestyle...
We Audiophiles often have a bit of "The Adams Family" about us to other people..especially to neighbors and those who come into contact with us often.Here are some of the most common questions that come up and some suggestions on how to field them.
Q."About that stereo of yours,; "what kind is it?" A. Looking at your watch, "It's a q uarter to 5."
Q."How much did it cost?" A. "I'm not sure.I stole it."
Q."How come my stereo doesn't' sound like that?" A."You need smarter friends with better advice." "I hear they really kick"is 5 words from hell, if you are really serious about your selections.
Q."Why do you play "Aerosmith" and the "Butthole Surfers"then switch to that "Beethoven" crap?" A. "Beethoven was a musician too."He went deaf without any rock music at all.
Q."Why is your furniture differently arranged than everybody else's, all diagonally?" A."It has to do with the lighting,"or "Thats the way the previous people living here liked it."
Q."Why do you always walk backwards when there is a strong wind coming at you ?" A."I like to protect my nice face from aging" or "I forgot my ear muffs today."
Q."Why do you play your CD player with the top off and why does the Xmas tree near it always have greenish blue lights." A.It has to do with the absorption of stray laser..Err it's too long a story."
Q."Why do you have a Xmas tree still up by your CD player?" A."It's already September..Might as well just keep it up now."
It’s interesting reading that some people seem to experience negativity about this hobby from people they know.
That hasn’t been the case for me. Certainly lots of my friends and acquaintances are not audiophiles, but I can’t remember ever getting even a sideways look if the subject comes up, or when anyone visits and sees my system. They just see some nice looking speakers and sometimes comment on the nice looking speakers. And if someone is interested they listen and are usually blown way by the sound. They get it. Not that they’d buy such gear for themselves, but they aren’t left baffled as to why I get enjoyment out of it.
(But then again, I don’t have a system with all the nutty looking stuff like cables on risers, every bit of gear exposed, vibrating discs and bowls around the room etc...Lots of audiophiles it seems want to see every bit of technology they paid for placed prominently in the room, so it ends up looking more like an electronics lab vs a domestic environment).
I also deal with some reactions to my home theater set up, which is the same room as my two channel speakers/listening. I turned my living room, which is the most prominent room in the house, the first one you see when you walk in the door, into a home theater with a giant projection screen, surround sound etc. Complete re-build, with dropped felt-lined ceiling, automated 4 way masking, projector on rising lift, etc. It’s the kind of idea that would give many wives a heart attack (and almost did mine, I promised it would come out ok).
But I think because I was so concerned with good aesthetics myself, I worked super hard to make it a beautiful, integrated looking room vs a "man cave" moved to the main floor. Turned out great and even other guys wives express admiration.
So I think that, yes, when we start talking about what we paid for our gear it can start looking goofy to other people. But I don’t see why we have to do that. Then beyond that, it seems to me good aesthetics go quite a way to making our hobby look reasonable to non-audiophiles.
It's tough to get anybody into this stuff...I've advised people about systems because they trust me to do that and that's always worked out fine, but in the typical dinner party group with my rig playing unobtrusive background stuff (no vocals...a strict rule for background sound at parties), people don't notice. Or they notice that "it sounds great" which it sort of doesn't in that context as it's just there in the background. If a friend wants me to demo something for them on my rig you tend to instantly annoy other guests who are appropriately talking to each other...in spite of any of this I've adjusted over the years to the glossy eyed disinterest from by most people trying to pay attention to my description of a tube, and now I really don't try very hard to explain this hobby....I get it.
I've been the "go-to" guy among my friends and acquaintances for advice on TVs and home theater, as they all know I'm in to that (or was, a lot more in years past). But I've given up because the same thing happens every time "What TV should I buy?" I ask them carefully about their budget, where it will be placed, what they watch etc, and suggest - without geeking out - possibilities. And inevitably they may as well not have talked to me because they just end up going to Best Buy and picking whatever seems like a good deal on sale.
Many HT geeks have the same experience. People just want convenience, don't want to think too hard about any peripheral concerns they don't care about.
I think people strictly in to high end audio experience less of these questions because far fewer people want to upgrade their stereo vs buying new TVs etc.
My "Audiophile Lifestyle" is not so much different than many other lifestyles anymore, I just have a nicer stereo than most who I know. 20 years ago, I "wasted" too much time on BS like building speakers and wire and other audiophile doo-dads, buying and selling equipment, moving things around, etc., etc., you know the drill. I wish I had a do-over with that time. Interacting with the people in one's life is more important. I have tried to make up for that in the past 5-10 years. Most who ask about my set-up are genuinely interested and as long as I don't get weird with explanations, they get it and enjoy listening.
The interesting thing about TVs is people march right into Best Buy or Target 🎯 and knowing the maximum they will spend select the best looking TV picture in about two minutes, tops. No angst, no hand wringing. Most likely it’s a Samsung or LG. No, not the big curved 4K Samsung, silly, that’s way out of your budget! But when it comes to sound they’re not so sure what it is they’re hearing. Is it mediocre? Is it great? Is it high end? Therein lies the problem. Audiophiles are just not very confident where they fit into the whole picture, sound-wise. Not to mention it’s not so easy finding a truly great sounding system to compare to. Your “ideal sound” is only as good as the best system you ever heard. For some people it was a long time ago and they’ve been chasing the dragon ever since.
I work with a bunch of engineers, but I'm the only audiophile. It's the running joke how many speakers I own, and I'll judge the cost of things in speaker-units. A manager that makes the most fun of me will go and play golf on the weekend at a nice club, and maybe spend $300-400. I tell him he's got nothing to show for it.... For that money, I'd have a nice little pair of speakers..... Even better if they were used!
@mirolab Your golfer friend may be one of those individuals who prioritizes experiences/activities over possessions. There is definitely a movement in that direction among younger couples these days (it's the #1 reason for the tiny house movement). Almost every couple when interviewed about building a tiny house mentions that they don't want as great a percentage of their income going to a mortgage so they have money for weekend excursions/adventures.
I can see both sides of this outlook on life. Just a question of your priorities, your way of enjoying life.
For the record, I would be more like you, Mirolab. But perhaps it's time for a priority shift in the direction of questing more frequently after interesting experiences.
You bring up a good distinction - one that is much more in the public air these days having been raised by studies of people’s happiness .
I’ve briefly pondered it’s applicability to high end audio and can’t say I’ve come to a conclusion yet:
Does our hobby exemplify the desire for "owning things/possessions?"
On one hand, it IS about owning material objects that make us happy, and it does seem pretty materialism based - we lust after "things we want to own" e.g. the latest speaker, amplifier etc.
On the other hand, we use these objects as "experience machines" - to generate different experiences for us each day. The experiences of listening to different music and musicians, the home equivalent of going to a concert.
So it seems hard to pigeon hole which, if either, category - object or experience - our hobby falls in to.
(I think my inclination, probably shared by others, is to spin it more towards the "experience" side of things, which may be true but may also be our wanting to ennoble our efforts. On the other hand, people rushing in to Best Buy to get the latest TV on sale could say the same thing - it brings them experiences of the different things they’ll watch - sports, movies etc. But then, things like Big Screen TVs and the like are typically held up as examples of the "shiny materialistic objects" of materialism. So if one is defending high end audio on the same ground as defending TVs or other material goods, it seems a bit more suspect).
@prof Thanks for your post. I agree with everything you said! Our audio "experiences" are very important to our quality of life but those experiences are made possible by purchasing the gear necessary to enable our listening.
When things start to veer to the hardware side is for those who are routinely trading in a piece of gear for another and then another. Doesn't mean they are acting "wrong", it's just that they are more into the gear perhaps than the "experience" of enjoying the music for music's sake.
@prof@hifiman5 Fully agree with your posts. This world has been, and is still experiencing a technological storm advancing and building on itself. The commercialisation and advertising trickery to have us conform to what is represented on television as a societal norm is changing younger generations to look at what they are supposedly lacking, and trying to achieve over-expectations.
HiFi shows are in our case no different. Look at all the eye candy being presented, which is totally out of reach of younger generations in most cases.
Housing major populations is no different. Japan have single person pods for instance. The family home is becoming further out of reach here in Australia, unless you move further out. Then you are faced with transport and family/school/shopping facilities that have yet to be built, and so on - but I digress.
The more settled (baby boomer era) adults have been brought up with different expectations and appreciation of the world around us. Indeed some of us predate the electronic calculator, watched black and white images of men on the moon, and PC's (IBM being the first commercial one) were non-existent. Riding a bike to school (or walking) was normal in any weather.
Our audio pursuits, particularly those still using the turntable, are looked upon as staid by the new electronic generation. Our pursuit in finding solace in the music we play is as relaxing and fulfilling as a weekend of golf, but perhaps not as social. Is that why we scour these threads for social interaction? Yes at times perhaps this is true, and for myself and I assume for others, to learn from other's knowledge and experiences. Our's can be a challenging pursuit, perhaps more so than golf? (My older brother happens to be a Golf Professional, and his son also). We exchange opinions which amounts to taking the "piss" out of each other, all in good jest. Which is how it should be.
Whoa! What?! Watched black and white images of men on the moon? You couldn’t afford a color TV? NASA couldn’t afford the bandwidth to broadcast in color? Kubrick wanted the moon landing to look real by filming on the lot outside London in black and white? 👨🚀
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