Invite her over again maybe this time she can trash both speakers.
Guest suddenly takes it upon herself to move my speakers
Has this ever happened to anyone here?
You have your speakers positioned just as you like them, and then a guest takes it upon themselves to suddenly move your speakers?
Obviously I’m not going to get any sympathy from anyone in the non Audio world, so I thought I’d post my frustrating experience here.
I also imagine that many of your speakers can’t simply be slid out of position due to spikes or carpeting or sheer weight. Probably a good number of you, who like me have speakers on hardwood floors, have some marks in place to be able to return speakers to their exact position. (Which I didn’t)
But a recent female first time guest was sitting on the floor positioned between the speakers as we listened and for some reason decided that they should be pointed directly at her. Now some people might think “how obnoxious,” and others might think, ‘hey, a woman who wants the toe in angle optimzed for her seating position! She’s a keeper! Let her handle whatever she wants!”
And while I did like the enthusiasm, there was a supertweeter precariously balanced atop each speaker fireing rearward that could have easily toppled off and broken. (And no, there are no kids in the house).
I still haven’t found the exact sweet spot I had them in. For a long time I felt like a bit of an audio slacker since I never installed the factory spikes or rounded cones TAD provides for the CR1’s. Until a few months ago I read on another forum that many CR1 owners choose to just keep the stands on the floor, or haven’t found a benefit to using the spikes/cones on hardwood.
Obviously I’ll use the incident to try and eventually find an even more optimal positioning than they were in, but it still irks me that someone would just assume it’s okay to move a sophisticated audio setup that they truly know nothing about.
You have your speakers positioned just as you like them, and then a guest takes it upon themselves to suddenly move your speakers?
Obviously I’m not going to get any sympathy from anyone in the non Audio world, so I thought I’d post my frustrating experience here.
I also imagine that many of your speakers can’t simply be slid out of position due to spikes or carpeting or sheer weight. Probably a good number of you, who like me have speakers on hardwood floors, have some marks in place to be able to return speakers to their exact position. (Which I didn’t)
But a recent female first time guest was sitting on the floor positioned between the speakers as we listened and for some reason decided that they should be pointed directly at her. Now some people might think “how obnoxious,” and others might think, ‘hey, a woman who wants the toe in angle optimzed for her seating position! She’s a keeper! Let her handle whatever she wants!”
And while I did like the enthusiasm, there was a supertweeter precariously balanced atop each speaker fireing rearward that could have easily toppled off and broken. (And no, there are no kids in the house).
I still haven’t found the exact sweet spot I had them in. For a long time I felt like a bit of an audio slacker since I never installed the factory spikes or rounded cones TAD provides for the CR1’s. Until a few months ago I read on another forum that many CR1 owners choose to just keep the stands on the floor, or haven’t found a benefit to using the spikes/cones on hardwood.
Obviously I’ll use the incident to try and eventually find an even more optimal positioning than they were in, but it still irks me that someone would just assume it’s okay to move a sophisticated audio setup that they truly know nothing about.
194 responses Add your response
Cut her some slack, In her mind it was probably the equivalent of turning a portable radio around on the picnic table so she could hear better. At least she cared enough to get better sound for her listening position...that earns her 3.7 points. Just ask her nicely not to move them again and explain why...even though she might think your a bit of an anal douchebag afterwards. |
(I’d want to smash her head on the ground tbh) For touching your speakers, really man. After reading some of these post I’m a little surprised, and I thought this was a classy place. I guess you really can’t BUY class, to many tough guys around here for me. Y’all have fun in these stucco mansions, I’ll hangout on the farm. |
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I am not a Trappist but I once spent a some time with
them. Trappists take a holy vow of hospitability
which I greatly admire but which is sometimes abused. I take a vow of what might be called “conditional
hospitability”. I’ll be nice as hell but
don’t abuse me. In general when anyone
is out of their element, in a foreign culture or cult, almost anyone can commit
any type of faux pas with intending to. We
should endeavor to show forbearance.
Fifty some years ago (right after Woodstock) I was invited to a Hare Krishna temple. We were instructed to remove our shoes as we entered the temple. They were in the process of carving brand new wooden idols; one of which I pointed to with my foot. Oh Lawdy, I desecrated their most holy idol with my socked foot. Replay “Raiders of the Lost Ark”; I escaped the poison darts, the big round stone from above and a biplane full of snakes. They may still have my size 12D Puma training shoes. Audiophiles are also cult, or can be. In my case I have a few small pieces of painter’s tape to mark the “holy spot” where my maggies became “fully enlightened”. Actually damage my Magnepan 3.7i speakers however and I may have to bury you somewhere in my back yard near the cesspool. As long as I can do that calmly and without malice it not a Cardinal Sin. I may be over reacting, you can live. You just can’t leave with your debit cards, driver’s license or pass port or, as I learned the hard way, your shoes. |
I use a space above an old equestrian barn on the property where I live, I have a pretty neat system set up there. It consist of some Dynaudio towers, a Mac 2205, an Audio Research pre, a streamer, and a DAC. I have a TT and an RtR set up as well but it doesn’t pertain. Not a big money system relative to this site but far from junk. I set this up through a Panamax 5500 power supply specifically so the whole system is a one button operation. Hit one button it all comes on ready to pair with a phone,’easy as that. Anyone can and is encouraged to enjoy this set up as they wish. It’s the first thing I show a girlfriend or guest, how to enjoy some music in this space. I keep the TT and RtR covered when I am not around, there are a few friends who are welcome to use them as well. The girls that clean jam out up there while they are working. Seems like the girl the OP is referring to was enjoying some music, sounds like fun to me. Hell I’d even let her touch my drum set. |
Years ago, when my son was 2, I would let him into the listening room to sit with me and listen to music, and he watched intently as I took the grills of my Merlin TSM speakers to listen (they sounded better grills off). I usually kept the door to that room closed, but M-F I would wait there in the morning for my carpool to arrive, since the room looked out on the street, and I sometimes forgot to lock the door. One morning, as I sat in the early dawn hours awaiting my carpool, I noticed that my speaker grills were off and next to the Merlins. I was usually good about putting them back when finished with listening. As my eyes adjusted to the morning light, I could suddenly make out numerous dimples in the soft dome tweeter of the right speaker. The dimples were the size of a tiny person's index finger. As I felt the rage starting to rise, my eyes instinctively turned to the left speaker. It too sported dimples, many more than the right side. At that point, a smile crossed my face as I realized the joy my young son must have had with the first speaker, such that he moved over to the second speaker. I had to send those drivers back to Bobby @ Merlin (RIP) who laughed out loud when I explained the reason for the damage. They were replaced at low cost - because Bobby was a prince of a person. Point being - if you value your stuff more than your relationships, time to readjust your priorities. You had a delightful female companion in your room who cared enough about your sharing your hobby to have an opinion and act on it. Sure, she could've asked, but I would take her interest as an invitation to share more about your hobby. Most gals would have been hard pressed to listen thoughtfully and with enough attention to get through a single song. Consider yourself lucky - women have better hearing than men across the frequency range, so she might have been doing you a favor. |
@luisma31, i have a similar story to share. a very long time ago, i came home after a very bad day of who knows what and i took off my belt, pissed as hell and flung it away from me, the metal buckle hitting the letter "I" on my martin logan aerius i. The letters appeared to be metallic, glued to the bottom of the speaker spelling, of course, martin logan. when i heard the KLLAAAAAANGGGG, i freaked out and ran to the speaker. I thought those letters were painted on. they weren't, they were actually cut outs of some sort, and i freaked out!!!! lucky for me, it was an easy fix. i found the "I" and glued it back on. what a heart-stopping experience. taught me to take off my belt nice and slow. |
Years ago i was speaker shopping at a stereo store in The University DIstrict (UW) in Seattle, WA. I cant remember the name of the store, but the salesperson was showing a pair of Ohm Model Fs to a potential buyer. The salesperson went to tip the speaker forward for whatever reason when the speaker slipped from their grip, resulting in the driver being crushed by the salesperson’s hand. Bear in mind this was 1979 and Model Fs were going for 1500/pr. |
wolf_garcia5,335 posts02-21-2020 10:36amTo sum up, women (and men) should avoid audiophiles due to their inherent sexist misogyny, obvious personal insecurities, fragile egos, clear OCD issues, childish anger issues, and their inability to rationally interact with other people. You know, I agree wholeheartedly, I do this as much as possible, whenever I can avoid myself I do... Regards |
Luisma I have to say that imagining the scene of you removing the belt and it flying into the speaker Seem like something right out of an Austin Powers movie. Only a true audiophile would loose the amorous moment after that- a normal person wouldn’t even notice. Perhaps that should be a clinical test for audiophilia. |
One night my wife and I come back home and started listening to our system and getting comfortable I remove my belt and I don't know what the hell I was thinking, I tried removing it in a sexy way and the belt buckle flew straight to my klipsch P37f woofer making a dent in it, needless to say I was in shock and my good mood died right there. Looking back now, well these things happen for whichever reason. I had SS amps back then Now I have exposed tube amps so I don't get comfy where my system is. I listen to music there and get comfy anywhere else. My wife still puts a heavy cast iron ornament on top of one of my subs, I already mentioned that my AK subs tend to "knock down" things, she keeps doing it, I remove it every time to listen, one day I will forget and porcelain floor damage will cause her to divorce me, will report back here when that happens. |
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Emailists I feel your pain! I would have looked at her and asked “are you tired of living”? When my cleaning lady comes in to my home to clean, I draw an imaginary line in the carpet with my foot and tell her, you DO NOT go beyond this line for ANY REASON. Unless her name was Candice Swainpole (google her if you don’t know) I would have maybe killed her! Scot |
Maybe one of her parents were audiophiles who moved speakers all the time and she assumed that is how its done. I find in general its best to ask someone their intentions rather than guess them. It might bring you closer. In any case, you would understand each other better without any accusations or uncomfortable moments. |
formerly I used crine scene tape although the effects were haphazzard. unless I drew an outline of a body on the floor near by, but few ever paid much attention. later choosing a more environmental approach I kept my Boa Constrictor nestled between them. this too is problematic especially if you have ported speakers and a young or slender Boa. I thought about getting a pair of minature Doberman Pinchers, one for each speaker, but the upkeep and maintainance was to high. and one would want twins, right? chicken wire cages clash with most decors. yeah, even mine so that was a no go. dead falls and trap dorrs are too Gothic and mighty expensive. gargoyles only work against known evils and the Gargoyle Union has way too many demands. gotta be a church, monastery, museum, cemetary, sheesh. apparently the suburbs ain’t good enough for them! ultimately, …. my home is a shoes off home. as such I now keep the area around the base of my speakers wet and tiny thin bare wires in a cob web arrangement on the speakers to which is attached 220 VAC so anyone who decides to move, shift, touch or alter them gets an immediate notice that option is not open to them. it also keeps curious fingers from pushing the big black, white, ceramic, silver, gold or ??? button you and I call tweeters from being pushed in and thus, broken. actually it does not prevent damage. it merely ensures instantaneous negative reinforcement. ordinarily the act is not repeated by the same culprit regardless their age. I learned the hard way not to hand over my remote control to visitors if I’m otherwise occupied, even briefly. somehow many people think the sign of a great stereo system is how loud it will play and having the remote in their hands is permission to find out. . go figure. |
I agree its pretty off for her to just get up and change let alone touch something without asking first and it sure would of upset me as well, however like the post above if your single and she as well invite her back for a listening/speaker positioning session with a bottle of wine and see what results you get. You should always have your speaker positioning documented over the years for reference and times like this. |
Is the disturbance of gear (or DOG) sort of epidemic I was unaware of? I raised a child, have friends...blah blah...but seemingly these people display some sort of extra virtuous comportment as over many decades there's been only one minor incident...my son's friend knocked over a smallish tower speaker during a crowded gathering...no harm done, and I refuse to be a jerk about such things. |
@emailists I understand. I am also a female audiophile. Those who have said, non-audiophiles have no clue how much audio equipment costs or the precision it takes to set a system up are on track. I can only imagine the pain (and anger) felt by those who have had equipment "adjusted" "moved" or "damaged." I, too, find it rude that anyone would come into someone else's home and feel "comfortable" enough to move anything or place drinks (or any possibly damaging object) on something other than coasters on a table. The only problems I've ever had was with my (then 3 year old) granddaughter gently pushing in the woofers on my speakers to feel the give and take, and my husband sitting his lunch on top of them before heading out the door for work. I simply placed the grills back on the speakers when the grand babies came and a supervising adult was present in the living room any time the girls were there playing. I also had (several) discussions with my husband about resale value dropping through the floor should my speakers be damaged. Perhaps in the future you should inform guests when they walk through your door that your stereo system is off limits because you've already set it up to perform at its peak. And if there should be any problems you'd greatly appreciate it if they would speak with you about it and not try to rectify it. Or you could buy a big poster board, paint on it in big, bold letters, "DON'T TOUCH" and draw a skull and crossbones above or below those words. Then hang it or stand it between your speakers. (yes, I know that would effect the sound stage, but it would only be temporary :) Sigh, we live, we learn. |
@emailists I appreciate your sense of humor and your ability to laugh at yourself. I suffer from audiophilia nervosa as much as anyone here, but it is good to be able to laugh at yourself from time to time. My turntable is currently in pieces (again) for yer another upgrade and my wife now just rolls her eyes at me. It’s all about pleasure and fun in the end and we shouldn’t forget that! P.S. I’m glad to hear she’s attractive. Hopefully this incident leads to something positive on that front at least! |
@dworkman Glad I could entertain you. That was the purpose, sharing an experience that only audio enthusiasts could appreciate. I've since taken some time to experiment with new speaker placements, and I've marked the positions. To answer a few questions, yes she was attractive and yes I was in the room when the "crime" occurred. However I was on my phone adding to the playlist, so I didn't realize the first speaker was being moved until it was too late. She was so quick that by the time I said "don't" she was already onto the second. Like a car crash, it all happened so rapidly it was all a blur. I'm hoping no permanent PTSD occurred, but I've increased my therapy sessions to two per week, just in case. My therapist isn't an audiophile, so I'm currently looking for a new one, hopefully that embraces tubes in at least part of his system so he can help keep my anxiety in check through the current noisy 6SN7 issue I'm having. There's more to the story that involves an infrared sauna, but perhaps it's best not to post that part. |
Let’s consider all the possibilities. Maybe she was just a product of the militant fringes of certain audiophile forums who have a total disdain for experiences of others if different than their own. To test it, please ask her whether a USB cable can make a difference when a digital signal is involved. |
The average non-audiophile is ignorant. Moving the speaker is like moving a chair to join a conversation; it can easily be put back close enough afterwards, and any variance is of no consequence. I had a maid that moved speakers a few times because she thought she needed to do so to do a thorough job. I explained and asked her not to do so, and she stopped. But, then there is the time that someone stealthily did so while visiting just to screw with me. It took a long time to get the speakers dialed back in and I was seriously pissed. I miss those Meadowlark Shearwater Hot Rods.... |
I went back and re-read the original post just to make sure I was clear on what exactly happened. What I couldn't determine was whether the OP was actually in the room with his guest decided to move the speakers. In any case, as was mentioned previously, most people have absolutely no clue how much stereo equipment costs or how fragile they are. Many consider music in the home to be used as background music while they are doing something else. That is all well and good for them. They, on the other hand actually have hobbies or things that are extremenly vaulable to them that other's wouldn't understand also. In this case, even if the OP had been in the room and told the person to please not touch/move the speakers, that person would obey, but would be insulted that the OP asked her to not move them to make them more enjoyable for her. not knowing that speaker placement is absolutely important and actually, not caring. But go to that person's house and move a coffee table or couch and see the sparks fly. 1. if the OP was in the room, he should have immediately seen what was about to happen and asked the person to not touch the speakers. case closed. not problem. 2. if the person moved the speakers uninvited, then that is not only plain rude, but inconsiderate also. People here speak of a person as the "keeper". Well, in my opinion, the "keeper" is the one that ask first and respects your hobbies and personal likes (as long as those don't hurt anyone). I have a very good friend who was also seriously into audio. His then wife decided one day while he was at work to completely redecorate the living room/listening room. She bought all new furniture and completed relocated the stereo equipment and speakers. The speakers were placed in such positions that one couldn't get stereo sound if you tried. it was completely rude and stupid what she did. But, she decided that it was her living room to redecorate and did what she wanted without discussing it first. Needless to say, my friend was pissed and put the system back where it sounded best. She know before they were married that he loved music and placed the equipemne where it would sound best to him. But, obviously, didn't really care. I have had female friends come over and the first thing I would hear would be, "wow, those speakers are really big". What are those big items between the speakers and those cables are really large. comments like that. But, after explaining my love for music and how important equipment and placement was, they settled down and listened to their favorite music and loved it. But, WAF or spouse acceptance factor is absolutely important in the survival of a relationship. these things must be discussed and agreed upon before getting serious. A large misconception (to me) for relationships is that many people feel that the couple must enjoy and do everything together. That is blatently false. There is nothing wrong with respecting the other's need for their own hobbies. Some people don't like wine. doesn't mean you can't enjoy wine or visit beautiful wineries. Same for cars/car events, hiking, cycling, etc. I'll finish by saying that years ago I was in a serious relationship where my significant other used a cleaning person to occasionally come clean the house. I asked her clearly to not have that person clean in the listening room. Well, one day I come home to find my cartridge on the tonearm completely destroyed. The cleaning person decided to polish the rosewood turntable and damaged the cartridge/needle. This was my significant other's fault not the cleaning person's fault because the cleanign person was not told to leave that room alone. however, touching or moving someone else's stuff is just inconsiderate and rude. I restore and own classic cars that are show quality. I can't tell you how often I've entered my cars into cars shows and see people touching the car, rubbing up against them to get a better look with their jeans or belt buckles, or even opening the doors and sitting inside. I actually had a model and her photographer ask could she sit on the car and take pictures. Do you believe that? enjoy
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Audio aside, the scenario would be the same if a guest moved a picture on a host's wall to get a better look. A guest in a home is not automatically given tacit permission to do what every they want. A good host makes guests feel comfortable, a good guest respects a host's hospitality but understands the venue is not owned by the guest. I would have politely told the guest not to touch the speakers or other equipment in view. That said- if there was personal interest in the guest, maybe invite her back and ask if she could adjust the speakers in the bedroom. |
