So festivus is for people that can’t handle the truth.  If you don’t like Christmas, tough.  Christmas probably doesn’t like you either.
@twoleftears 

And a Shakti Hallograph Soundfield Optimizer as the Festivus pole.
Use Helmholtz resonators as Christmas tree decorations.  Two birds with one stone.
@yogiboy Don't you think the Festivus Pole would be detrimental to the treble response in a room? ;-)

"Come on, George -- fight your father."