@audiodwebe
With your permission, I’d like to steer this discussion back to "on topic."
Since you are asking us to "get inside your head" (a bold endeavor for certain), I have some comments --- AND -- a suggestion.
Your seemingly perpetual loop of "dissatisfaction" with your system could be unrelated to "audio" and may be pointing to other areas of your life you are wresting with? If, for instance, maybe you are subjected to a barrage of conflicts you can’t resolve, family matters, business matters, political tug of war, or just trying to make the world a better place? This/these would represent items that are out of your control for many reasons -- too hot to touch (family matters), above your pay grade (fixing the world’s problems). Your actions and attentions could turn to what you DO have control over and affect the outcomes -- your system. You CAN FIX it, make it better, and feel that you have successfully solved a problem. Things ARE better, because YOU properly observed the problem, connected the dots correctly, made intelligent decisions and deployed them artfully.
Now for the suggestion:
Apply gratitude. That is to say, each time you sit in the "sweet spot" acknowledge what it took to get you in this space at this time, and be grateful. So many things had to go "right" to get you where you are RIGHT NOW. In a wonderful space, that your hard work and disciplined life created, your meticulous selection of high resolution audio gear, listening to the best examples of musical excellence the world has ever known.
Then l-i-s-t-e-n to the m-u-s-i-c and e-n-j-o-y what is unfolding in front of you. (And, off to the sides, and behind). If any dissatisfaction creeps into your head, tell yourself just how lucky are to have "good" problems to solve. And, this isn’t a problem that needs solving.
Best of luck.
