Harold Weiler wrote about the wear and care of records and styli back in the mid-’50s. The book is long out of print and can be found, among other places, on the Shure site (though as far as I know, Shure had nothing to do with the original publication). I got onto this from Mike Bodell, who was studying more modern cartridges that track at far lower weights and use more advanced stylus shapes than the conicals of the day.
One of the fascinating things about Weiler’s study is that he worked with QC personnel at a record company, who could discern when a stylus was worn. Weiler was initially unconvinced, but spent enough time with them to hear what they were encountering.
Fast forward to 2019 or so. Mike Bodell wrote a more modern study (which I published) called The Finish Line for Your Phonograph Stylus. In doing so, he tried to bring some of Weiler’s work up to date. It is a worthwhile read. In essence, Mike (who was a geologist, so knows a little about "rocks" and a seasoned audio guy as well) concluded that the life spans cited for a lot of modern cartridges are extremely optimistic and represent a sort of outer limit.
Mike has some pretty good suggestions, apart from keeping your records and stylus clean-- using a simple tally counter (a clicker) to keep track of the number of sides played- you can do the math in your head.
I do have one of those fairly hard to find Shure stylus microscopes here, but in truth, have no training to evaluate the condition of the stylus. One of his associates, Ray Parkhurst, who did the macrophotography for Mike’s piece, separately conducted an informal experiment using a very light tracking cartridge, with little visual evidence of wear after quite a number of hours. However, the market today doesn’t really support those types of cartridges- I remember them but don’t use any.
I have a number of good cartridges. Peter L. retipped my Airtight Supreme by preserving the cantilever and motor assembly and inserting a new diamond stylus. When it comes time to retip the Koetsus I have here, I’ll have to cross that same bridge- I want to retain the character of the original cartridge, now that the company appears to be moribund.
Anyway, a good read, both Weiler and Bodell’s updated approach to the topic.