This is no joke.

If you remember the 70's, you really weren't there!

Meow...

Somebody said for every action there is a reaction.

Lots of stuff to have fun with, and if it makes us believe it sounds better, then who cares, to us it works.

But I do believe that using green twigs is so much more eco friendly.

Oh geez - you guys are terrible - worse than 'rednecks' now we are into 'redneck fetish'. You all must move to an appropriate forum and do so quickly, as Sgt Schultz would say when Colonol Klink was watching Mach Schnell, Mach Schnell - either that or show us ze papers. One thing that I did forget to mention is - for those who ascribe to the effects of such items as Shatki stones - the type of wood used in the cat dowels may affect the timbre of the speaker response - i.e. a harwood such as oak may make an already bright speaker too bright, but this could be softened by the use of a softer wood, like pine. And as to kitten dowels, well that's a whole different story.

"Very smart lady - cat is easy to find when lost and other cats won't have sex with it (cats can see colors). I considered painting my daughter pink for the same reason (easy to find and no sex) but she is too old for that (32)."

Kijanki, I like the way you think.

My daughter is 9. Maybe I have time to consider this.

Not sure that the pink will have the desired effect with homo sapien males as with Mrs. Jinx's suitors though.

Suddenly, this is in danger of becoming a fetish forum.

My recommendation would have been to dye her hair the color of the cat.

I just kept getting a Tide commercial, but I gather I didn't miss much....

Very smart lady - cat is easy to find when lost and other cats won't have sex with it (cats can see colors). I considered painting my daughter pink for the same reason (easy to find and no sex) but she is too old for that (32).

now you know why the cat ran away.

What's this brain surgeon gonna' do to her kids?
What a goofball.

I had to post this:

Pink Glow Cat

please don't shoot the messenger.....

If an audiophile walked into a stereo store would anybody care???

Map?
Who would you rather be mad at you?
1. Wife
2. Forum posters.
thought so!

Everybody should realize that NoBody is going to change humor type or sensitivity based on getting some forum flack. It'll just breed ill-will when somebody gets raked for somebody else's idea of what is / isn't 'funny'.

Get some beaks, she'll really like them......
Bud light lime is the new cats joke.

Well, I'm glad that at least my gaudy thingamabobs that were on my speakers that my wife has now disposed off did not seem to be offending anyone or creating too much controversy, other than for my wife perhaps.

Musicnoise, Mickeyf,
I have a better idea- I hear they just opened a redneck forum, why don't you get your refined sense of humour, along with your own sorry behinds and just move there.
You'll be well entertained there discussing merits of Bud Light vs. Miller Light.

Sorry, Frogs are actually endangered, although I see more and more as I'm trolling swamps for otters. MMM, fresh otter. Almost as yummy as sweet and sour cat.

ok - what's green and red and green and red and green and red (or redbook to keep it relevant) and green? A frog in a blender. OH MY G_D!! DID HE JUST SAY THAT??? How awful, don't you know they are prosecuting people for putting frogs in blenders, as well they should!!! I'm shocked, just shocked. How terrible- what a bad bad bad person. There is no place on this forum for such inhumane tasteless (although frog legs are awfully tasty in a butter sauce) statements. I'm incensed, just incensed.

"You might have just got yourself added to dekay's list....."

Mickeyf - Dekay is on my list (I suspect he might be eating animals)

I'm on lots of lists.
Take a number.

I have poor impulse control, too!

You might have just got yourself added to dekay's list.....

Fpeel,
Being a general malcontent, I would be the last person to demand conformance or PC behavior.
I personally just try to suppress my sarcastic or nasty, ill humored urges.
I just try to be nice, and while I'm not always successful, I try to be aware of my audience.
I generally prefer the criticism of cats to the drooling adoration of a dog. If I was given a dog, and had a choice, it'd be a Pug. They are best on the grill.

Dekay, membership in the human race was not of my choice; it was unceremoniously thrust upon me at birth (what were my parents thinking?). I am not a joiner, have no desire to be a member of the herd and respectfully decline participation in most of mainstream society's nonsensical goings on, in particular those that fall into the category of "political correctness."

It isn't at all necessary for you to agree with or even like my positions and perspectives. They are what they are, so take them at face value and move on. I already do the same in return.

Thank you for thinking I'm worthy of salvation, though. My cat probably agrees.

As for the open ended suggestion, I don't swing that way.

quote: "sadistic-freak-serial killer to be"

Boy, I'm now really regretting injecting my off-colour 'levity' into this topic of discussion. I would never be unkind to animals and I do particularly like cats (not so much dogs and some of their owners). Therefore I issue my apology to all those sensitive to that post. Let's hope we don't feel the need to talk about abuse or use language such as the quote any further.

Thanks, Dekay.
I thought I was alone.

I have a reputation as an extremely NON-PC person. But when I do poor taste stuff......I at least have a grip on my audience.
I won't pull that crap in a public forum...generally.

Fpeel and NOISE:

Get a grip on humanity and join the race.

This is an audio forum, not a sadistic-freak-serial killer to be, or not to be forum.

Read the news lately (people are being prosecuted, as they should, for abusing animals)?

I find your comments (and defense of such) to be both offensive and alarming.

I'm not PC (as you put it) and suggest that you both...

Musicnoise,
If you really consider your references to "cats nailed to speakers" an art form, you are sadly mistaken.
And your attempt to paint those, who are disgusted by your perverted "sense of humor" as fascists, is sadder still.
And will you stop crying about being misunderstood already?

Fpeel - absolutely, the pc police have a very distinguished history - let's not forget all the good they did in another country in the late 30s and early 40s - how well they protected people from the whole 'degenerate art' movement - what was that group? You know the one with goebbels and the little guy with the funny mustache.

I was wondering when the PC police would arrive to clean up this site. Doesn't everyone feel more secure now that they're here?

Didn't think so.

Personally, I dont think they do anything at all other than look weird. (My wife hates them, but she wont let me have a cat so I'm punishing her).

The sand bags may change the sound but not necessarily for the better. A lot of speakers are designed to have 'live' sounding cabinets and it's one reason why mdf is used less than plywood in speaker cabinet making.

I have mass-loaded my cabinets though with 12.5 pounds of lead in each. I think the change was very modest, not really noticeable to me (tin ear maybe).

It would take a man with special qualities to hear significant improvements with that...gadzooks, I don't even know what to call it...thing sitting on his speaker. But those special qualities pale in comparison to the bravery it took to initiate this thread. Mapman, you're the man I would want next to me in a foxhole.

Man, ya gotta be really obvious to get a rise around here, eh?

I have listened to the beaks, could not tell a difference. sand bags do, however.

I have 2 pair of beaks on my Forests. Bought 'em used (of course) for less than half of list so I wasn't really disappointed that they really dont affect the sound at all. Moreover I was disappointed to find out they were actually machined metal.....

Hey Kijanki, Ballan, Mapman, please, torture me no longer with the bar, whale, bird, and snake jokes. Much more and I'll have to throw a little hissy fit about my self righteous love of birds, whales, snakes and the purveyors of spirits. Oh, the horror, the horror what's a mother (or fascist) to do?

I don't understand it either. If beak "dissipates distortion" into air then it makes it audible. Dimensions are very crucial and beaks are machined with the greatest precision yet should work on the top of any speaker. Sounds like SNAKE OIL. Oops, I mentioned an animal not in the article. Sorry.

(what about whale jokes? - they mentioned whales)

Was reading about the Beak tweak that Totem sells

Totem Beak

I don't really understand the principle behind this but I wonder if I could have stumbled upon something similar? Its interesting that a reputable speaker company sells a tweak that is advertised to improve the sound just by sitting on the speaker. That's essentially what my gaudy thingamabobs appeared to do.

Please, resist the urge now for bird jokes. Monty Python has already milked all of those.

"the cat jokes perhaps may scar me for life. Not sure I can forget those...."

Mapman - As long as you know the difference between a joke and reality you should be OK.

I lied down in the sunroom yesterday eve, closed my eyes to listen and tehn opened them to notice that THEY were gone. My wife must have packed them away somewhere or tossed them, not sure yet. They are funky, but not particularly stylish.

With the caveat that I was listening laying down on a couch well away from my prior listening position to different material than before, I first noticed something sounded different while listening with my eyes closed. Then I opened them to see they were gone.

I still think a lot of this is just me. Maybe I've been hanging around this site too much. My gut tells me to just forget about it and move on.

As an animal lover though, the cat jokes perhaps may scar me for life. Not sure I can forget those....

Two audiophiles walk into a bar....oops....wrong thread.... ;)

Magfan,
Over the edge makes them funny.

Kij,
I've been a student of humor ever sense I went to the big house. Yep, the punatentiary.
Jokes are a form of performance art and best suited to someone conscience of the audience and how joke/performer/audience interact.

On this forum? All audio jokes are probably OK. You must just be sensitive to the jokee.....if aimed at a particular person.

Yeah, I'd stay away from jokes about racial stuff. Nono to gender and mental health stuff, too, except as it relates to spending absurd amounts of time and money on a hobby / avocation which some find valuelss....the IPod forever crowd. Weather is always good for a laugh, but in a hifi context? Religion and politics can be the 3rd rail of humor.

Who was that no-talent guy from Seinfeld? Richards, right? This guy couldn't get a booking on Mars, for Pete's sake. In addition to being a one-trick pony and of only so-so talent, he was ill tempered and went the wrong way with an audience. Completely Wrong but the chance you take with performance art.

Just an example....I was arguing with my boss at work. Sort of yelling back at forth at a meeting. Everyone sat their like they were painted on the wall. I had to do something. SO, when my boss finally agreed with me, I took my opportunity......'Dog gone it, XXX, why are you agreeing with me? I'm in no mood to take YES for an answer!' Good for a laugh and no hard feelings. But we both made our points and got on with it. I took a chance and knowing my audience got away with it.

Somebody making dead cat jokes? And violent ones, at that, is quite over the edge.

Maril555 - you forgot to mention racial, ethnic, gender, age, mental health, political orientation, religion and whatever left (if anything). I hope that weather jokes are still OK?

I agree with Magfan. The jokes didn't strike me as absurdist.
Certain topics, such as references to child sexual abuse, cruelty to animals,or disability of any sort, etc. should be avoided in ANY context. It's just a poor taste, and not something other members of this forum should endure.

M
Never yelled at 'em, and certainly would never declaw.
The butcher shop cat liked a certain rug while the orange tabby loved a couple trees out back. They both ignored the scratch post I built for 'em. I think they scent mark thru the paws and using the nose, won't share certain things.
They both stayed away from my panels without ever being told or coerced.

I'm not a bluenose or a stiff, but jokes about nailing cats to something or drilling holes in 'em are in wacky poor taste. Your original 'joke' was, IMO, not a bit of absurdist humor.

why dont you just a) answer the question and b) confirm you haven't declawed (mutilated and tortured) your cats?
If you think I'm being funny now I'm not. I have more compassion for animals, cats included, than most, likely you as well. and yes, this, is no joke.

Musicnoise & Mickeyf:

You guys/girls (difficult to tell on the WWW) creep me out, by your justification of what you think is OK to post in a forum such as this.

Seriously since tube traps behind a speaker absorb standing waves this ornament may act as a disfuser to improve sound. Call me Dr. Tweak.I have three weaks that will blow you away helping all systems and you will find it hard to believe. Normally I charge good money for my expertise but out of the goodness of my heart I will expose these three now. I have many more.

1) Take your blocks of wood and tiptoe devices and throw them out. They are hurting the sound. Remember one componet per shelf and for amps and preamps only use one of two things to ISOLATE THE COMPONET. Sorbathan pucks, or rubber feet(Herbies one example)Vibrapods all work to isolated electronic signals. So ISOLATE amps, preamps, CDs yes and turntables. Decouple speakers. Spikes , tiptoes all work on these.This would only be my choice for a concrete slab. A pier and beam or second story go back to isolate. There are a few products out there that do this- they are basically a carpet covered board with foam underneath them.(SubDude HD) IS AN ISOLATED PRODUCT WHICH WORKS WELL WITH SUBS AND SPEAKERS FOR CONDOS OR APARTMENTS OR PIER AND BEAM OR SECOND STORY FLOORS. For Slabs spike em.
2)Now tap your mega buck amp or preamp. Is it dead silent like your speaker? Probably not- just a few are. Take the outside metal case off, buy some Dynamat Extreme stick on absorbtion/deadening material from your locar CAR STEREO house(they use this to suround the speakers to isolate road noise)you line the inside cabinet(where you can/don't cover vent holes or slots) and reattach the cover.BE careful one this stuff is on it is not going anywhere. Put on the inside of the cabinet. It is not pretty. So for $40 you have deadened and issolated your amp and preamp. The sound tightens up and on a good su=ystem separation is improved.I would not use on speakers. Be carefull on cd players. Most can use this on the exterior bottom also.Leaving your metal case off will also improve sound but most feel it detracts from the visiual experience.
#3) I could give you a hundred tweaks. Do I do the free toilet tissue roll trick, the $10 a foot speaker cable that blows away the $100 a foot cable or how to make a cheap bass trap that looks great or improving outlets for under $10?? I choose the outlets today. ALL outlets can be improved. Most have a 59 cent recepticle. Home Depot or an Elelctrical supply store will have the brand Hubbell or Levitron HD 20 amp outlet that will improve most sound systems.

Another good point Mickeyf. Animals do what animals do - there is no morality, respect etc. I have had pets all of my life - they do not 'respect' somebody's speakers and if they tear up the speakers or chew up the $1000 headphones they are not a 'bad cat' or a 'bad dog'. Just a cat or a dog doing what they do. I bet the joke police had a real bone to pick with Monty Python - how about South Park? Geez, work as joke police must be bottom of the barrel - what's next on the ladder book burnings?, planned parenthood protests?

Absurd humour has existed for centuries - how long have you three been around? What really gets my goat is the hypocrite who has Fluffy and Tinkerbell de-clawed so they dont rake the precious speaker grills. BTW what sort of physical- or behaviour-modification is required to get cats to 'respect' speaker grills?