I disagree with you Elizabeth... have you actually tried all the various kinds of equalizers you've mentioned in a "high-end" system?
Have you owned a unit with advanced digital room correction like the Lyngdorf or DEQ units? Have you used the Behringer DEQ2496 full-range in your system? And have you tried a unit like a basic DBX 1231 in balanced mode in a high-end system?
I can say that in my system the dbx 1231 sounded very clean, low-noise, and musical with no apparent grunge. Playing the system in my large room without EQ makes no sense. The dbx only costs about $350 and will work very well for those folks who just require a modicum of EQ and don't have the funds for something like a Lyngdorf, which works even better but costs much more. I've not used the Behringer DEQ2496. I've heard some say it's good for bass EQ and for its built-in RTA, but maybe not great for a full-range EQ. But I haven't heard it with my own ears in my system so I can't confirm that.
I'd be curious to hear of your actual use of the EQ's you've mentioned in your own system, because your conclusions/assessments don't align with my experience.