Hi Matt,
Sadly you've run into something a lot of buyers don't realize: That setting up a sub is difficult. The settings for one person may not work for you.
First, do you have a measurement microphone? You can use something like the Dayton Audio imm-6:
https://amzn.to/2GIvXadwith your phone and the Audio Tools app or similar.
You will need a test CD with pink noise or some other source. Audio Tools can also be used with that microphone, but you'll need the appropriate cables which are long enough for your seating area.
If you can locate the subwoofer anywhere, the first thing to do is to figure out where the ideal location is. The reverse-sub technique works out really well for this. Put the sub at your listening location, and then move the microphone around the areas where you may place it. You want the smoothest bass possible, not the loudest.
Set the Vandy's to high pass, 60 Hz.
Nest, you'll want to set up the sub so the overall level is about 2 dB higher than the Vandy's.
Set the sub's low pass Hz to as low as you can, and then increase it until the 60 Hz area seems to blend in evenly.
The Grotto also has a 25 Hz filter. You may very well have t use it to suppress room modes. This will show up in the Audio Tools as major peaks at the low part of the spectrum. More is not better. You want as smooth a bass response as you can get. Slightly elevated and slightly downward sloped.
You may find that you have very strong room modes which make the sub unbearable at the right volume. In this case, you need to add a bass EQ and traps.
If you follow my guide, you should get close to the right ball park. Then you can adjust the overall level to taste.
Best,
E