When I lived in the DC/VA/MD area, I tried joining an audiophile club. Hmmmmm. One visit to a very high-end system that sounded...not very good...cured me of that impulse. That and the bragging and "competition." Fortunately, a DIY audio group was formed 20+ years ago and that was an enormous amount of fun. The focus was on DIY equipment (mostly tubes, but also speakers, DACs, preamps, you name it) and there was no pressure to say ’WOW GREAT SYSTEM". When the projects gelled we could relax and enjoy all sorts of music for a couple of hours. When they didn’t, it was pretty obvious and it was "Okay back to the drawing board! Who’s next?" and no one’s feelings were hurt. Along the way we listened to some good commercial equipment in the mix and that was educational. I miss it a lot.
I also had a few good friends who loved the same music but were often auditioning new equipment, and that was always interesting, but the music was the focus.
Sometimes you just happen upon people. I was at a dinner party years ago and wandered into the husband’s den, and he had a fantastic audio system. His wife said, "Oh, he’d love to play it for you! He’s obsessed with it!" We were both interested in jazz and became very good friends for many years. I enjoyed many great afternoons and evenings there.
Here I have one colleague at work who’s a brilliant technician. I got him interesting building tube amps, and we have some great sessions a couple of times a year, trying out a lot of different stuff. His musical tastes are extremely catholic so we listen to all kinds of things.