I also own 804S, but driven by McIntosh MC275 and Lamm LL2 pre and I don't get a sense of harshness, and no fatigue at all. Very nice sound, actually! The 804S driven by a 200Wpc Rotel amp and pre did sound harsh...maybe you should look at your amplification?
The N802 are likely better speakers, but they also need much more power to shine, so you are likely to continue to be short on your amplification.
BTW, I also use a REL Storm III sub to suplement the bass, with great results. I have a rather large room. Keep in mind the N802 don't go that low either, and if your room is large you are likely to also benefit from a sub.
Does your dealer have 804S on demo that you could try with other amplification?
The N802 are likely better speakers, but they also need much more power to shine, so you are likely to continue to be short on your amplification.
BTW, I also use a REL Storm III sub to suplement the bass, with great results. I have a rather large room. Keep in mind the N802 don't go that low either, and if your room is large you are likely to also benefit from a sub.
Does your dealer have 804S on demo that you could try with other amplification?