I have a dedicated "mancave" listening room I made in my basement 20 years ago. My wife never listens to my downstairs system. (Its under my user profile) She does notice when I play things she likes from upstairs. "I haven’t heard that song in a while." The room I made is a bit barbaric looking and not real pretty, but it is loaded with room treatments, bass absorbers, diffusers, ect. so if sounds pretty good. Making this move many years ago was the best thing I have done. I am lucky we had the extra space. 2 Days ago she commented that the volume was not disturbing to her late at night. She brought this up because a night prior I came up earlier than I wanted since my new modified amp was playing but I didn’t want to keep her awake. So she took me to the bedroom when I had my amp breaking and and showed me that "see it’s not very loud in here I can easily fall asleep if the music isn’t obnoxious." So if I play things we both like and I can go on for hours into the evening now. Win-Win!
WAF - music to my ears
My wife isn't much into my audio equipment and her most common request is for me to run it down. I genuinely do not listen to it loud very often and almost never when she's around, but I'm conditioned to push it up a couple extra notches so that I can comply with the turn it down requests and still have a reasonable listening level.
The other night we were sitting on the couch and as I was scrolling through the list of albums I came across a Holst Planets that I know she enjoys. We started with Mars thinking it was her favorite Jupiter, so after finishing the song we moved on to her favorite. It was music to my ears when she noted that it was a bad recording. I promptly did a quick search for the other version that I have (that was purchased for this very reason) and we enjoyed the entire album together after the kids went to bed.
She doesn't seem to notice any of the changes/improvements that I do to my system, but at least she can recognize a poorly recorded album.