Well, good luck with that. You spend years searching and auditioning to find the perfect one. Then you take it home and un-box it to find out she's just bat-crap crazy. Unfortunately, the restocking fee is half your crap, a piece of your heart, some of your sanity and maybe a testicle.
Seriously, what are you trying to purchase, a good wife or a piece of audio gear you saw on The Good Wife?
Remember the 5 W's, there are your friends.