Wow, you've got quite an assortment of stuff. If you are going 7.2 with decent 2 channel balanced bypass and current HDMI video switching, you are looking at big bucks.
Personally, I think all of the room correction software is garbage, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
As far as speakers go, that's an issue of personal taste. None of your electronics currently are particularly bright, so it must be the room or the speaker.
I don't think you are going to find what you want in a pre/pro under $3k. If you can live without balanced, you might look at the higher end NAD stuff - it's very nice. Anthem is another option, which I think comes balanced, but you'd need to buy used.