Etiquette for a listening session?


'Sup?

Every now and then when my friends have nothing better to do, they'll acquiesce to my standing invite to come over to listen to some tunes on the main system downstairs. Over the years I've learned to choose my invites wisely, based on whether or not the invitee seems to evince any leaning towards or sympathy for audiophilia.

A few times I've been incredibly lucky and chanced upon a friend who doubles as an audiophile and we while away a happy evening and night spinning cd's and lp's and talking about the tracks and artists - and the drinks we have. We do talk, but between tracks or artists, not during. But a few times I've had people over, usually as part of a small group, who insist on talking over the track, much in the same way I constantly annoy my wife by talking during a movie.

The other weekend I invited over a couple, the husband with whom I play in a band; the wife whom I've never met. And while my wife and I and they nursed drinks and listened to tunes, his wife insisted on talking about whatever, bringing up pictures on her phone, and evincing every sign that she had never seriously considered the idea of a listening session to be something worthwhile.

Okay, I get it. It's not for everyone; analogous to if a friend who was into home theater had just gotten a new, hi-end projector had invited me over to watch a movie. Yes, I would have appreciated the clarity, etc. But it's still just a movie, no matter how much resolution there may be on a screen (actually, if there were indeed such a friend, I'd try to get into the video aspect as much as I'd like her or him to enjoy the audio, if only out of respect).

But it's also happened before, like with another (former) band member, another guitarist, who kept talking through the tracks while the rest of us tried (or pretended to try - I can only speak for myself) to listen.

So what's proper etiquette? Do I play the good host and let come what may? Do I lay down ground rules? I know that most people don't actively listen to music, nor appreciate the nuances of a good system, and usually don't care too much, either -- gearheads are gearheads, no matter the passion, and are appreciated only by other gearheads. Just as I remember, in retrospect, a few audiophiles when I was younger who obviously had good systems, but back then I neither knew nor cared about stuff like that, and so was much the same kind of person I'm complaining about now.

But how would you address that kind of behavior or reaction during a listening session?


128x128simao
I'm with asp307 on this one. Out of all my friends and acquaintances over the years, I've had exactly one who was also a serious audio enthusiast. So if I have people over I assume they are non- or casual listeners and it doesn't matter if they talk. I can always listen to the music alone uninterrupted whenever I want. And even if you're with an audio enthusiast I think you're there to share the experience, and if that includes comments during tracks about whatever topic at hand, so be it. If the song's to their liking, they will shut up and listen. A sure fire way to chase off myself or others with boredom would be to set a bunch of unsociable rules.
I gave up trying to "share" the listening experience wih anyone but myself. There was a time long ago when I could have visitors sit back and listen without talking or criticizing but that was probably because we were all too wasted to say anything. Now I find the listening experience to be one of the most personal things to cherish. I even wait 'til the wife goes out and takes the dog with her so the time is all mine with no interruptions. I have found that it is impossible to convey that feeling and even trying to explain it to someone else is futile. It's like riding Harleys - if I have to explain, you wouldn't understand. 
I'm pretty new to this audiophile "listening session" stuff and am trying to get other folks to come listen to my various audio systems about my home.

At work, there's at least four of us who are heavy into it.  I've had two of the three guys to my home to listen to my systems and the third guy heard my Fisher 400 when I brought it to work.

So far, when I turn my Dynaco Mark iiis up a bit, their eyes glow as if in a trance.  My Kenwood L09s and baby Kenwood L07s have quite an affect on the listener as well.

But etiquette, good topic imo.

I wouldn't be above telling them to stfu and stfd or gtfo, but hey, that's just me.
I agree with majority of the posts here.  99% of the people I know don't get it.  

Majority of my listening time is alone as well.  My wife "gets it" and enjoys listening once a week or so.  When we have people over, we rarely go into the audio room and if we do its just for viewing the room and setup.  Although we have had the occasional person who appreciates the brief demo experience a great deal.  :o) 

Although we have had the occasional person who appreciates the brief demo experience a great deal.
Key word "brief"
I am fortunate to have friends who are also audiophiles and we regularly visit each others premises for listening sessions ie jamming. Wifes and girlfriends are always welcome but are not usually receptive to extended sessions. It is understood there will always be an area set aside for conversation and you may come and go as you wish. The music continues regardless. We compare our systems and discuss likes/dislikes, recommend tweaks etc. Kicking back with eye closed and really listening is a fantastic experience for us all and all of our various systems are really awesome but also fine tuned to our specific tastes. There is nothing like us jamming out with eyes closed and to realize that each one of us is "feeling" it  when you happen to open your eyes and see the others with eyes closed, hands playing air guitar or whatever, feet tapping, expressions changing and really getting into the music. Thats when we really bond.
I agree with smittys.....that is pretty much the way it is, with the added factor of time. It may be that the invite is an audio hobby enthusiast, but, at that particular time, does not feel like listening critically. Imposing rules may drive him away. Maybe he just feels like, the time of sharing, venting, whatever, is more important, or appropriate.

The title of this post says it all. Normal people don’t refer to listening to music (or, more accurately, merely hearing it) as a "session", a distinct, dedicated endeavor. Music is just "on" while other, more important, things are done. Like talking about the Kardashians.
I have a separate area in our finished basement ,it's out of the way and works out well 
kids are older 23 & up - no interest in dads music ! My wife has joined me for 10- 15minutes tops . 
Usually just me & Dixie ( my dog ). She's a very good listener  & not very chatty 
 . When I have some "audiophile " friends over it tends to get too analytical for my liking.  They seem to have a need to criticize some aspect ... Synergy between amp & preamp, or are the speakers in "phase" ??  , the Grado cartridge is ok why don't you get "xyz" 
cartidge.    Etc.... 
Guess what ?   Yup ... Just me and Dixie !  Oh Sometimes we let Leo 
hang out he's a pretty cool cat.(feline) 

Although it is nice to introduce friends to the love of music the way we hear it in our systems.  Most people just don't truly appreciate or feel music. I can not see expecting a group of people to sit in a room quiet and only listen and not talk. Most of the time when I have audio friends over we talk more than we listen. People really need to sit alone in the sweet spot for a period of time to really even start to understand what we hear or feel when listening. 

Nobody is going to enjoy, care or be into your system more than you. As long as you keep this in mind you should be able to avoid disappointment.  

If you are an "audiophile", why would you have someone over for a listening session who is not an "audiophile?

I notice no one has approached this from the other point of view, meaning how do you conduct your behavior when you get invited to an "extreme" audiophile's listening room? If you don't know this, you wont get invited back.

The time for talk is before the listening session, and naturally it will most likely be about his "exquisite" system and genre of music to begin with; there are usually several different genres that will be reviewed.

Once the listening session begins, let your host do most of the talking; if you don't follow this rule and talk too much, you will not be invited back again.


Enjoy the music.