Attempting to communicate all this stuff about our emotions (music is about emotions, relatively speaking) via the written word only - is bound to go sideways. Almost every time.
We ’get’ only 10% of the communication package, when we read the written word, 90% is literally MIA compared to speaking directly, in front of one another.
This is why it gets ugly. We have to fill in the other 90%. Which we do. Mostly unconsciously.
The first trick in understanding how to fix it or not respond negatively, is to constantly live in the conscious aspect of 90% being missing and do not respond in kind to what you FEEL and THINK is in the written text, as the filled in 90%, essentially comes from inside you.
We can get the gist of what someone is trying to say, but their response may not take in or cognate that the written word on forums...has this deep underlying problem.....
DE-escalate, don’t escalate. And remember that the vast majority of the ’give and take’ of intake and response....is within us - not the text or screed that we read.
Miscommunication. Literally. And at the 90% initial level. Literally.
Imagine trying to play a game of catch. And being 90% inaccurate. Permanently. always.
Which means, slow it down. Take your time. Analyze carefully. Overcompensate, explicit motions, signalling, and so on - as nothing else will work when things get charged up.
If not, it’s just never-ending fisticuffs ...where, in reality, we are only punching ourselves in the face.
The internet has taken over and this written word thing/problem/issue is going full force.
People are no better or worse than they were before "da interwebs", but our understanding of the conditions and nature of this communication method is woefully inadequate, and this is the result. On-line internally generated garbage we contribute to, or endure, or read about, each and every day.