@komono
Peter Walker, the brains behind Quad amplifiers and electrostatic speakers, said that the volume knob should be treated like the focus control on a camera. Use it to bring the music into focus, which I interpret to mean place yourself at the volume level intended by the recording engineer, where the balance of instruments best approaches reality.
His byline was "the closest approach to the original sound" and he targeted classical music, which has a much bigger dynamic range than most other genres. He recognised that it was practically impossible to reproduce typical front-row sound levels, and instead described reproduced music as listening through an open window into a concert hall.
I am pretty sure most people instinctively keep turning the volume up until distortion raises its ugly head, at which point the volume is still way below the peak levels of un-amplified orchestral instruments. I know that applies to me and I probably play far too loud to not be damaging my hearing.
Completely agree with your comments on how meaningless db 'measurements' can be without further details.