Disagreements and Conflicts between Audiophiles have we lost our brotherhood and maturity?


I looked back over my posts and even my audio business dealings over the last 5 years and it seems like we have lost our ability to peacefully disagree or resolve disputes like grown men. Some of my best friends in this life are audiophiles and I enjoy the gear, the music and the brotherhood. I don’t enjoy the senseless spats. The inability to resolve conflicts and the people trying to destroy peoples business and reputations. Thoughts? 

calvinj

I enjoyed meeting Calvin at SWAF and thought his room was really well done.

This forum can get a little rough, but it’s never going to be that serious, it’s just listening to music. Maybe a few things to keep in mind that might help:

take it with good humor. I remember a few years back the epic and vicious battle that involved MC and Kevin Deal about some tube amps, maybe Prima Luna and something else. Went on for days and was entertaining in the same way that a big-time wrestling event at your local National Guard armory is entertaining, but at the end of the day, nobody got hurt.

if somebody is new to this, they might ask a question that seems elementary to you, but it’s not to them. Don’t condescend.

people can have differing opinions, and it’s not any reflection on their character or intellect. People who believe cables don’t make a difference are not inherently evil and those who think they do are not inherently gullible. Take issue with someone’s position, don’t attack their character or intelligence.

how pleasing a system sounds is, at the end of it, subjective because we all hear differently. what is soft and veiled to me might be musical to you
 

don’t judge someone by how much they have invested in their system. People have different resources and different priorities. Just because someone has a more modest system doesn’t mean they enjoy the music less  or know less about whatever topic is under discussion. And just because someone has invested more, it doesn’t mean they are a “fool.”  You can define the price of something, but you can’t possibly define what represents value to another person. 
 

no matter how good you think your system is, or how much you paid for it, there are folks out there that would consider it “mid fi”
 

Keep politics out of Audio discussions

realize that your experience may often be instructive for others seeking help but the solution you chose isn’t universally right or wrong, it’s just what worked for you.

something that bugs me to no end - never rain on somebody’s parade. If someone just bought something new and they are happy and proud, don’t be the one to tell them they made a terrible decision, paid too much , or could’ve bought X, which is much better. Why would you want to trample on someone’s joy?

realize that there are very few of us as into Audio as those on this forum. Everyone else thinks we are a bit strange by devoting so much time and money to this. So we really should stick together.

I enjoy reading this forum it’s something I do every day. I’ve benefited from the advice of some very smart people here which I appreciate. This is for fun and if you find yourself attacking someone personally, it might be a good time to turn off the computer and listen to music for a while.

it’s a great pursuit and wonderful to have the chance to share ideas with others who have the same appreciation for the music

 

@whart

I agree

The current broad sense of polarization can and does color audio discussions (and many other topics of online discourse). This most often occurs unconsciously, so self-awareness is very helpful -- in other words, paying attention to those instances when others’ words begin to trigger us disproportionately.

There is also the fact that as humans, we are all susceptible to lashing out, given the right provocation. We’re all subject to being taken over by the reptile brain. This can occur even when outward circumstances are relatively harmonious.

There are those who deride a desire for civility as weak. They regard their capacity for verbal rough and tumble as a badge of honor -- of manly toughness. They appear to enjoy sparring and don’t mind when things get nasty-- "One in every bar", as @boxcarman put it. I try to ignore them.

I have noted that on the What’s Best forums, discourse is uniformly civil. I’m not sure whether this is due to more active intervention by moderators or something else but there is, at times, a marked contrast.

In the end, it’s up to each of us to decide how we’re going to behave and what sort of climate we wish to promote. We don’t have much control over others’ behaviors.

 

 

@calvinj 

Sadly it’s everywhere. People are more emboldened by being able to hide behind a keyboard.  For example, how many times has politics rudely popped up in our usual mundane conversations? I’m not saying there isn’t a time and place for it, but there should never be any of the anger that seems to come with it. 
 

My tubes better than your tube!!

I’m personally not bothered by a little back and forth on these sites, even if it parts from audio for a while. It’s a forum and sometimes they take funny shapes.

There is one communication style that I find annoying. I’m not sure what it’s called but tits when member speak of a component as the best, incredible, an end game, but it’s not far from what they had last time it was the best, end game, etc. It’s like they will get money for selling others on the product. Deep down you know it’s junk (compared to the wide world of audio) and they will soon list it for sale, if it’s not listed already.

Next they move to something else that’s "the best". It’s most likely from the same dealer that got them hooked on a slight "endless wallet" discount, and it’s cyclical. This annoys me because I’ve seen people earlier on in their journey listen to this and follow, only to find themselves back to square one again. It’s likely not even intentional but when we are in forum where some are looking for guidance it’s best to be realistic and have a strong foundation before having the fullest glass ever, lol.

Audio is such an individual pursuit and for me the path has been a big part of the enjoyment (except boxing heavy speakers) and is anyone really ever wrong? It's just often the tone, or way it said, and that's probably as hard as finding a warm system with great presence and detail.

The site seems calmer than ever but I haven’t been on as much lately.

Personally I thank you for dropping the all caps in your thread titles.  All caps tend to fire my adrenal glands

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