Dealer affiliations and attitudes, assumptions and lack of respectful engagement in audio.

I posted this because of how I’ve seen us go after each other from time to time.  It just Audiogon either. Was on another forum and a response to me was filled with assumptions. The person was a first time responder to me. He was off base on every point he tried to make. That made me realize how many ass sumptions we can make about people we don’t know! 

There are several audio forums where a vast majority of interactions are civil and pleasant. Folks contributing their experience and helping other folks who are in need of some assistance.

To be fair, these tend to be specialized forums (fora?) focused on DIY or on a single brand or some arcane specialty. Even here on Audiogon, you'll find tube-related threads to be rather sunny and tranquil places.

As far as the general-interest threads on here, too many are like this one: just lit matches masquerading as faux outrage.

On the contrary I have found this to be around a thoughtful and reflective thread. My own observation was that the breakdown in common civility began in the 1980s with the rise of Fox news and and other media that, shockingly, encouraged interviews where people actually talked over each other did not politely listen to each other’s comments. At that period of my life I was active with a lot of public meetings and gradually began to notice the same behavior manifesting itself in small town public meetings. People were emulating what they were watching on TV and thinking it appropriate. Ironically I think much of what we have considered common courtesy in modes of address stems from periods when the consequences could be dire. I am thinking of the American West where men commonly were sidearms and earlier in Europe when every gentleman carried a sword as part of his attire. It was important to not give offense unintentionally.

I find the best way to weed out those that do not conduct themselves with respect is to ignore them, however hard it might be. I wrote a dealer selling a pair of magico speakers. I am knowledgeable about different speaker brands but I am by no means an expert or a statistician type that remembers every detail that he comes across. I simply asked if these were the latest model or an older model. His response was "These are not $80k speakers for sale for $15K". That was it. I did not respond or point out that I was a customer in the market for speakers. Since that interaction I have spent $20k on speakers and none of that business went to him.  His loss for being an ass and not a good business model for future success so I guess he will be one of those people out of the business complaining about how hard it is to sell. 

@benjamminva i try to be mindful when people call me for items.  A lot of guys don’t understand you don’t know who is on the other end of the phone.  Respect everyone.