You might be an audiophile if...

you own more than one Alan Parsons CD...and actually listen to them...

you're willing to move your heavy speakers and stands from against the wall to listening position rather than having to sell them because your toddler may knock them over in your listening position.
-or-
You buy things you know has absolutely no foundation in science "just in case" they might work, like putting a plastic-encased "chip" on top of your CD player while the CD is spinning, which makes all your CD's magically transform into higher-quality sound.,

(I've NOT done the latter.)

If your garage/attic is full of boxes that all that audio gear comes in.....and nothing else because there ain't no more room...!!!

OR

Some of the furniture ,in your living room , made from some of those boxes(end tables come to mind because years ago I did just that)..why...because you ran out of room in your garage/attic.

you have 10 jitter filters, a Theta DAC and 110V in your car stereo.

..... if you used the money you saved for cataract surgery to buy new cables. You don't need your eyes to listen to music anyway.