My love of music is killing me.


I have been a music lover my entire life but now at age 51 I just can't listen without falling into a deep depression. My oldest son Devon inherited my love for music and took it even further. By age 25 he was a VERY talented guitar, bass player. We use to take turns playing tracks for each other just to broaden our herizons....but his gone now. I lost Devon 11-27-09 after a 6 year battle with cancer. I held his hand as he passed that night. The illness took everything but his love of music. His right cheek bone, right upper jaw bone, a rib, muscles in his abdomen and back,sight from his right eye...and finally his life....I could do nothing but watch....wishing it was me laying there going through that hell. Its been a year and a half now...his birthday will be next week. He would of been 29. Now when I listen to music I cry instead of smile. May be one day the joy will return but for now there is a hole too large to fill.

Hug your kids....Pease.
dean_fuller

Showing 3 responses by chadnliz

Happy Birthday Devon, we will all share some music on the other side with you soon pal. Godspeed
I cant imagine your pain but many here are with you in spirit or more if you need to reach out. With some time and help I hope you can find peace and joy in music once again, listen to music you both shared could one day be a uplifting experience bringing back memories of laughter and joy. He would want that for you just as sure as you would want that for him. Maybe till you get to that point try and listen to exclusively new music, perhaps that will keep your love of music alive while avoiding pain till you have time and help to work through this incredible pain. You know myself and others are here for a phone call or email so by all means reachout. The loss of a son or any loved one is a tragedy but to stop living yourself is perhaps more tragic, your son sadly wasnt in control of his destiny but you my friend are and as survivors we owe it to those who passed to live life to the fullest. Godspeed
He isnt a big frequent poster, only a few dozen participations in 5 years. He probably wanted to be heard and get folks thinking about how precious time, life, and family are. Dean you did that beautifully.