Mistakes I’ve made

@slaw

You raise a good point- when people start to believe doing the right thing is something extraordinary, I wonder how others were taught to behave

Happy new year to you as well-

ebm, what a surprise.

Op, good for you. Cast thy Bread upon the waters.

as for me, leaving over two thousand records on a cold sidewalk. 

I borrowed a pair of Boston Acoustics to an emotionally unstable cousin of mine. One day he garbage picks a receiver and hooks up my speakers, they don't work so he smashes them with a hammer and throws them away. I ask him, did you ever think it might have been the receiver that you pulled out of the garbage that was the problem? 

Three months later on a camping trip I tear a hole in a $5 garage sale tent of his and he tells me that when we get home I am taking him shopping for a new tent.

tnic73:  You need to stay away from that cousin!  

The only things I have loaned out and not gotten back were some CD’s.  I learned not to lend any more out and most people don’t ask. 

I also try to deal with reputable people that do what they say and are honest.  Life is too short to deal with the other kinds.

@zavato 
You seem like a generous caring person.  However, your lending practices seem unwise.  When you lend, relationships can easily suffer when you try to get your stuff back.  Those folks who abused/dumped your lent stuff may now have guilt in their relationship with you and you may have resentment towards them.  Instead of helping them, you may be enabling their bad behavior especially the non caring irresponsible people.

If you must lend, make it very clear up front on when you expect to get it returned, let them know that you don’t like lending because it can damage relationships, then get them to agree to “can I trust you to return it on time?” maybe sealed with a handshake while looking them eye to eye.  Periodically tactfully reminding them of the due date may also be a good idea like 2 weeks before it’s due.  Also, you can say “did you used it yet? I hope so because I was really trying to help you out” - increased gratitude can farther increase their motivation to return your stuff.