Just ordered a vpi avenger

Probably Ferrari is not the analogy you want to make in this case. You pay dearly (extra) for parts and service throughout the course of ownership, and these days they are introducing a new model every 6 months or so which devalues the one you just bought.  (Why I have never had the guts to buy one.)

Tough to say what distance between you and the dealer begins to qualify for an extra set-up charge.  If you feel the need for the presence of an experienced person during set-up, you should go ahead and ask for that extra.  If they suggest a reasonable extra charge, I would pay it.  If they don't, I would still tip the set-up person who arrives at your house, after the work is done to your satisfaction.