It Also Doubles As An Apple Peeler.

I owned the original model. I remember it had prodigious bass, combined with lackluster high frequency response.

It had difficulty with anything less than a perfect LP, mistracking even slightly off center or warped records due to it's high horizontal mass combined with ultra short tonearm.

Does look cool though, in a strange sort of way.

I believe that's correct, at least three counting the termination to RCA connectors.

The horizontal axis is handled by the beam with the Dynavector logo on it. The vertical axis is handled by the tiny tonearm out on the end. The large beam cannot travel vertically at all and the tiny arm cannot travel horizontally at all.

In my opinion, Dynavector's execution is a overly extreme way of increasing horizontal mass for better bass and reducing vertical mass for ultimate track ability. In theory this arm gets everything right, but as I said before I didn't like what it did, particularly in the high frequencies.

For the audition, it was mounted on my VPI, their best turntable at that time.

Perhaps there was a problem between the VPI and the Dynavector. However, the two next test with Breuer and Triplaner tonearms both performed splendidly and superior to the Dynavector, so the TT was certainly not faulty.