This is where trips to high end stores are really helpful, coupling with reading through Stereophile, HiFi+, and The Absolute Sound about the equipment you heard. If you have to drive to a city… make appointments… tell them you are surveying different sounds looking for a match. That you want some time with the best they have. Stay in a motel. This is all well worth the cost.
I had gone into a dealer in the late 70’s and heard a system that simply blew me away. It was inspirational for decades to come. You are very right to ask the question… if you are not sure where you want to go, you are never going to get there by accident. It is really hard work to get there (assuming you do not have a near infinite budget) even knowing what you want. Took me decades, as my tastes changed along the way.