how do you match speaker size with a room?

Since moving to an apartment, I have had a suspicion that smaller speakers (than mine) would be what many Agoners might choose. The apt listening space effectively equates to near-field listening. My Infinity Compositions PF-R's work decently well, as they have a 3-position bass switch, which manages the room resonance (as well as a unique shape that lets them fit in less space than typical stand-mounted monitors), but they sounded better when they could open up in a big room. I have always heard small monitors as being "thin" and not realistic, as they just do not play real bass. Was this just a prejudice formed long ago,constrained by budget limitations, that no longer applies? Is it even possible to have decent bass in a small space, or more to the point, somewhat realistic sound in a nearfield environment which is nothing like the spaces in which music is really played? How can one predict the correct speaker (size) for a given room? I have a hard time even imagining that a small monitor (Harbeth, Usher, Revel, whatever), however overpriced it may be, can handle a piano or kick drum or even bass fiddle anything like a full range speaker can, but a full sized speaker may to be too much for my current room. Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this.