We'll let you have the gold medals for the men and the women. It's the least we can do to comfort you, and help take your minds off the fact that you're living in a frozen tundra. We will however, keep the warmer climate. Want to play us in baseball? You know, the summer game, oh, that's right, you probably don't know what summer is. We feel so bad for you, we even gave you the gold in the pairs figure skating. We are nice people, and very charitable towards those less fortunate. Don't say we never gave you anything.
