Yes, David it's a bit warm now so maybe save the Chick Magnet sweater for later on in the year. I met a great girl friend when I was in school wearing that sweater. When she was gone (moved back the CA), I put the buttons back on with the same spool of lame light blue thread and then immediately met another love of my life. However I married the woman who told my to loose the sweater, period, because it made me look stupid. Now if I need a button sewn on I ask the 65 year old seamstress at the cleaners to do it. |
Dekay,Isnt that the way one washes clothes anyway? I guess its more complicated than I thought.Also,I have a sweater like the one you had,my fav! blue thread and all! |
David99: Very funny and I had forgotten about the old laundromat ploy. Just make sure that you throw all the clothes (light and dark) in together on cold wash. This will get their attention more than anything else. I also used to wear a brown cartegan sweater with the buttons sewn on poorly with light blue thread (this worked like a charm as well). |
Hi, upgrade you girlfriend, (or wife)! from Italy, diver (P.S. it's a joke, my wife loves hi-end too! |
Honesty is indeed the best policy, but marraige involves compromise. The dollars should be within your means, but if she has an expensive clothes or jewelry habit, you're golden. To make the spending more acceptable, all new components become "gifts": birthday, anniversary, or Christmas. Hopefully you don't need more than three things each year.
Aesthetics are another matter. In my case, she vetoed the speakers I wanted for the living room because they were "too big," so I explained that to get sound that good from a smaller speaker would be more expensive. She said "fine" as long as she liked the way they looked. On the electronics side, she insists that I keep all gear out of sight in an old built-in cabinet. Space is limited and the turntable eats up a big chunk (for dust-cover clearance). Tubes seem out even though I would love to try them(no ventilation, except for the open cabinet doors). So I have stayed with SS gear. hmmm...could I get away with a tube preamp? Anyway, if you love each other, you can find a way to make it work. |
My wife is pretty cool about it. We been together for 28 years and she knew from day one, how important music is to me. I used to volunteer for Rock Medicine and took her to a lot of shows where we would hang out backstage and meet many of our favorite rock stars. A few years ago, I was faced with a life threatening illness and spent the year on heavy meds which made me feel more sick than the disease itself. Music was my salvation and therapy (even with a satellite dish, most of the stuff on TV sucks). I began to upgrade all my equipment during that time. I went to a home theater set-up which didn't impress me. So I returned to stereo and began the hobby of buying and selling gear in search of audio nirvana. I save my mileage and per diem checks. They add up very quickly as I direct two statewide pubic health projects in California and therefore travel a lot. So I never spend money out of our account or dip into our budget. Her only complaint is how loud the music is when she comes home from work. In which case I lower it and say: "I'm sorry, what did you say, I couldn't hear you?" |
I used to try a lot of the tricks mentioned above, but got to the point I just told my wife it was my hobby, etc., & that I was going to change stuff here & there. We've been together 20+ years (14 married) and my wife just doesn't care about anything to do with the system as long as it doesn't occupy too much space & I'm able to meet all my financial obligations. My job used to keep me away from the house for weeks at a time, so now that I come home every night, maybe it's a little unspoken gesture on her part not to say anything except the occasional "turn it down." BTW, it was my choice to take the job that kept me away & conversely my choice to give it up & spend more time at home. Having a solid marriage helps. |
Dekay, I bet you bought that Princess Diana mix"n"match dress up fun kit in hopes your wife would "wear"it for you.Come on,admit it.As for me,I have no current squeeze but I'm always looking.I'm hoping my clothes washer will die so I can hit the laundromat! |
Loved this post, and Lornecherry you cracked me up. Sean also posted a similar understanding that I have with my wife, " Once our common living expenses / bills are paid, my money is my money and her money is her money ".
My wife has never questioned me when I buy an expensive LP or a piece of stereo gear, and I have never questioned her when she buys an expensive mirror for the house (As an example).
It works for us, and I love her for it.
David |
My girlfriend doesn't care ...... But my wife moans once in a while! |
I consider myself lucky in that, while by no means rich, my wife and I have separate incomes and checking accounts, but we share a "household" account. I feel sure that this system has spared us a LOT of anguish.
Also, like Vegasears above, she'd much rather see me involved with the seemingly harmless hobby of high-end audio rather than smoking, drinking, doing drugs, and general carousing and hell raising in our community. You can get 2 CDs for the cost of a carton of cigarettes (I'm not trying sound self-righteous here as I smoked for 19 years, and also quit 19 years ago :>). Cheers. Craig |
You folks are great : )
Besides Lorne's "suggestions" making me chuckle, i especially liked the "return rate" on Dekay's audio expenditures. He gets $100 of tubes, she gets a $1 "toy" !!! I bet other guys wish they had the same 100:1 "exchange ratio" !!!
I guess i'm just "lucky". While i'm not married, i've lived with my girlfriend for about 5 years now. Once our common living expenses / bills are paid, my money is my money and her money is her money. This way, we are both happy and responsible for our own actions and expenditures. The fact that she makes more money than i do and i end up paying for most of or a larger percentage of our meals somehow hasn't gotten fully figured out yet, but i'm working on it : )
In terms of electronics / audio gear though, she does "get on me" once in a while. If she starts making comments about how much i just spent or how much "junk" i have stacked up everywhere, i just tell her "let's compare the resale value of ONE of my amplifiers to ALL of your shoes or clothes". She usually shuts up REAL quick... Sean
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I use to sneak the stuff in. Hide the receipt. Tell sales people never to call under any circumstances. But that never worked. Her not knowing became much worse then knowing. Now I fess up when I buy something. I always try to sell something soon after to help off-set the cost. Half the time she has to recieve the item ups when I'm not at home anyway. Better off confessing early. |
I learned many many years ago from a pro...my father. My dad just turned eighty four a couple of months ago and I swear to God he's still sneaking equipment into the house! I don't want to sound disrespectful to my wife because she excels in so many other areas, but she really doesn't pay a whole lot of attention to the equipment. That's not to say that an entirely different set of speakers wouldn't turn her head, but if you change out an amp that looks similar or stay in a particular style of speaker albeit a more expensive one in the line, it makes it a little easier to slip it in the house. I once traded in my Spectral DMC-10 preamp that we had for many years for a Spectral DMC-20II that looked almost identical except the power supply was as large as the main unit. I told her that I bought a new power supply and that was the end of that discussion. Most women would commit their husbands to an asylum if they ever knew we'd spend some crazy money on a power cord. I'm thinking that she's thinking how much could a power cord cost? Twenty or thirty bucks tops...Speaker cables and interconnects are no brainers. No one other than us fanatics would consider paying the tidy sum equal to the price of a decent second car for a few feet of wire. I better get off this thing pronto. I think I hear my wife heading this way right now and I don't want her to know what I'm up to. Oh hi honey.. |
Girl friends and wives are easy to cope with, provided you follow some very simple audio rules that I've picked up from the audiogon site....
1) Try to find a truly balanced mate. Avoid the single ended type, as I hear they don't sound as good and tend to get a bit loose after a while.
2) Make sure she's solid state. Older tube types tend to burn out after too much use and are hard to find replacements for. (Tube swapping can be fun, but don't get caught.)
3) Be sure to use adequate room treatments. Mine likes Ethan Allan. Avoid Sears and Ikea, or your mate will constantly sound bad.
4) If you don't like what you hear after a few months, upgrade quickly to something else. Constant upgrading can be quite expensive.
5) Make sure that she has an adequate source of power in order to avoid unecessary static and interference. If that doesn't help, get her own dedicated line, plug her in, and leave her alone.
6) Give her a chance to warm up before you do any serious listening. This is especially helpful for tube wives, who can become sweet sounding and forgiving after you listened to them for half an hour or so.
7) Try to find a remote control model. If they're too loud you can simply turn them off without lifting your feet off the couch.
8) Certain new models can be programmed to respond to a series of commands, such as: "Honey, I'll be back by 2:00 AM", or Can you get me another beer from the fridge?" However, these models tend to be very expensive and hard to find on the open market. Those of us that do have them, tend not to part with them.
9) If they blow a fuse, it means you've accidently touched something that's overly sensistive, or she's got her wires crossed.
10) If the volume becomes too loud, leave the room and go put away dishes or clean something. The volume will be lower and less irritating when you return.
Above all, make sure you spend time listening to her each evening and be sure not to turn her off until you leave for work in the morning. --Lorne |
Honetsty about what you can afford is the best approach. To finance my hobby, I drive a 5 year old, 4 cylinder econo-car which is paid for. My family enjoys watching DVDs with soundtrack through my stereo system. There is plenty of time to enjoy my music at other times. How many of you know someone who has an expensive boat which is used only a few times a year? How many people buy thousands of dollars worth of jet fuel every year and have only a few photos and stories to show for it? I use my stereo 365 days a year and enjoy every minute! |
My wife is very understanding. She understands I could be into any number of hobbies, which cost tons more money and take me out for the weekend. |
I always tell the truth and either get an approval or not. I did however tell my wife that "our" Bel Canto DAC was a computer for the stereo (which it really is, but this does somehow "glorify" it a bit). To this day she introduces new visitors, to our home, (who are interested in the rig) to "the computer" for our stereo. Fifteen year olds are very impressed with this "line". I (we) are in a no spend mode right now, but I just purchased $100 worth of tubes today (which we can barely afford) and all that I did was ask. As a thank you for my wife's approval, I stopped by a thrift shop on the way back from the post office and picked her up a little gift for a dollar, which is a Princess Diana "Mix 'N' Match, Magnetic Dress Up Fun Kit", still in the shrink wrap. She loves Princess Diana stuff. The other agreement that we have made is that I have to sell other stuff (I have a lot of stuff) to offset the expense of the Hi-fi system. So far, including the $100 today, I am only in the hole $200 on over $6K of expenditures in the past year and I have kept up my part of this bargain. With the exception of my blood pressure readings, I have never lied to my wife. |
I managed it by getting my wife as into it as I am. This was quite easily accomplished by having her help with some side by side comparisons. Now that she understands the difference quality equipment makes, and is as crazy about great sound as I am, its me that has to keep her from spending too much! |
