Funniest sales pitch

Hey, I am well endowed and I have the Bobonium to prove it. (And, I did sell the expensive Sansuchi to my brother.)

And now, three big Bronx steers for “THE” Bobonium convention next month in the Big Ah! Pple (yes, the Swiss bought it, so what.)

"The only reason i am parting with these is that my beloved cat, Mollie, was diagnosed with cancer last week, and the vet bills deem this sale a necessity. "

"Sell because unable to get wife permit..."

A joke:

Two friends meet each other asking asking how things going well/bad...
One of them sais:
--Can you imagine I've got an Elephant for $10k! It's a beautiful animal. It waters my flowers and garden, plays with my children and dog and generousely helps me with home improvement!
Another:
--Wow I want also an Elephant can you sell yours to me?
--OK I can only sell it to you for $15k since it's my very dear animal.
--DEAL!
In another week they meat each other and asking how things are going:
--Oh So terrible! This beast almost stomped on my wife, killed my dog, stomped all over my flowers and garden, almost destroyed my house... I don't know what to do!!!
--Eh, with this mood you're never going to sell your animal!

Here's one from just today for a pair of interconnects, a direct quote:

"Smooth and tube sound cables"

It's not the poor use of english that is as amusing as attributing a "tube sound" to a pair of interconnects. Incidentally, they are a pair of Goertz...like in that horrible interconnect-brassiere advertisement (on which there is another thread here on the Gon'). Perhaps he meant "boob-like" sound?

Marco